In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
The life of the salaf between speech and action.
The concern of the salaf for their children.
Their encouragement of them and their refusal to belittle them.
One day, Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said to the Companions of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him:
"What do you think this verse was revealed about?"
“Would any of you like to have a garden of palm-trees and vines, with rivers flowing underneath it, with all kinds of fruit for him therein; and old age hath stricken him and he hath feeble offspring; and a fiery whirlwind striketh it and it is (all) consumed by fire. Thus Allah maketh plain His revelations unto you, in order that ye may give thought.” (2:266)
They replied, "Allah knows best."
Umar became angry.
He said, "Say 'we know' or 'we do not know'."
Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, said:
"I have something in my mind regarding it, O Commander of the Faithful."
Umar said, "O my brother, speak and do not belittle yourself."
Ibn Abbas said, "I have struck a parable for an action."
Umar asked, "What action?"
Ibn Abbas replied, "For an action."
Umar asked, "For a wealthy man?"
"Who acts in obedience to Allah, the Almighty and Majestic," Ibn Abbas said.
"Then Allah sends the devil to him."
"So he commits sins until he drowns his deeds."
Regarding Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, he said:
"Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, used to include me with the elders of Badr."
Some of them said:
"Why do you bring this youth in with us when we have sons like him?"
He replied, "He is of those whom you know."
He said, "So he called them one day and called me with them."
He said, "I do not think he called me that day,"
"except to show them what I knew."
He asked, "What do you say about [the verse]..."
“When Allah's succour and the triumph cometh” (110:1)
“And thou seest mankind entering the religion of Allah in troops,” (110:2)
...until he finished the surah.
Some of them said:
"We are commanded to praise Allah and seek His forgiveness when He grants us victory and opens [the lands] for us."
Others said:
"We do not know," or some of them said nothing.
Then he said to me:
"O Ibn Abbas, is that your view?"
I said, "No."
He asked, "Then what do you say?"
I said, "It is the term of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him."
"Allah informed him of it."
"When the victory of Allah and the conquest—the conquest of Makkah—comes,"
"that is the sign of your term."
“Then hymn the praises of thy Lord, and seek forgiveness of Him. Lo! He is ever ready to show mercy.” (110:3)
"Indeed, He is ever Accepting of repentance."
Umar said:
"I know nothing of it other than what you know."
Yusuf Ibn al-Majishun said:
Ibn Shihab, may Allah have mercy on him, said to us:
"I, my nephew, and my cousin,"
"while we were young boys,"
"would ask him about hadith."
"Do not belittle yourselves because of your youth."
"For Umar Ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him,"
"whenever a difficult matter befell him,"
"would call the young men and consult them."
Justice between them.
Ibrahim, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"They used to like to treat their children equally,"
"even in kissing them."
And from Umar Ibn Abd al-Aziz, may Allah have mercy on him:
That he embraced a son of his whom he loved.
He said, "O so-and-so,"
"By Allah, I truly love you,"
"but I cannot favor you over your brother with even a morsel."
Al-Hasan, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"If a teacher does not treat the children equally,"
"he is recorded among the oppressors."
Marrying off sons and daughters.
Asma Bint Abi Bakr, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
"Marriage is a form of bondage,"
"so let one of you look at where he places his freedwoman."
Sa'id Ibn al-'As, may Allah be pleased with him, said:
"If I teach my child the Qur'an,"
"have him perform Hajj, and marry him off,"
"then I have fulfilled his right,"
"and my right upon him remains."
A man said to al-Hasan, may Allah have mercy on him:
"I have a young daughter, and she is being sought for marriage."
"To whom should I marry her?"
He replied, "Marry her to one who fears Allah."
"For if he loves her, he will honor her,"
"and if he dislikes her, he will not oppress her."
Showing them affection and love.
And playing with them.
Al-Bara' Ibn 'Azib, may Allah be pleased with him, said:
"I entered with Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him,"
"when he first arrived in Madinah."
"And there was 'A'ishah, his daughter, may Allah be pleased with her,"
"lying down, having been struck by a fever."
Abu Bakr came to her and said to her:
"How are you, my daughter?"
And he kissed her cheek.
'Uqbah Ibn al-Harith said:
"I went out with Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him,"
"after the 'Asr prayer,"
"a few nights after the death of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,"
"and 'Ali, may Allah be pleased with him,"
"was walking beside him."
He was playing with some boys.
He carried him on his neck while saying:
"By my father, he resembles the Prophet,"
"he does not resemble 'Ali."
He said, "And 'Ali was laughing."
Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, used to:
When he met his son Salim, kiss him and say:
"An old man kissing an old man."
And from Abu Wa'ilah:
He felt a sense of resentment toward his son Yazid.
He stayed awake all night because of it.
When morning came,
he sent for al-Ahnaf Ibn Qays, may Allah have mercy on him.
He came to him, and when he entered,
he said to him, "O Abu Bahr,"
"how is your satisfaction with your child?"
"And what do you say about children?"
He said, "I said to myself,"
"The Commander of the Faithful is not asking about this,"
"except for a resentment he feels toward Yazid."
"So words came to me,"
"that if I had spent a year polishing them,"
"I would have done well."
"I said, 'O Commander of the Faithful,'"
"'they are the fruits of our hearts,'"
"'and the pillars of our backs.'"
"'We are for them a humble earth.'"
"'O Commander of the Faithful, be humble toward them,'"
"'and if they ask of you, give to them.'"
"'They will give you their pure love,'"
"'and show you their utmost kindness.'"
"'Do not be a burden upon them,'"
"'giving them only a pittance,'"
"'lest they grow weary of your life and hate your presence.'"
He said, "May Allah reward you, O Ahnaf."
"By Allah, I only sent for you,"
"because you have extracted the malice from my heart."
Some of the salaf, may Allah have mercy on them, said:
"Be dutiful to your child,"
"for it is more likely that he will be dutiful to you."
"And whoever wishes, let him be undutiful to his child."
Greeting children with peace.
From 'Uthman, from Ibrahim, he said:
"I saw Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him,"
"passing by us while we were children."
And Thabit al-Bunani,
may Allah have mercy on him, passed by some children,
and he greeted them with peace.
Thabit narrated that he used to
walk with Anas, may Allah be pleased with him,
and he passed by some children and greeted them.
And Anas narrated that he used to
walk with the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
and he passed by some children and greeted them.
Playing with children and the allowance for their games.
From al-Hasan, may Allah have mercy on him:
That he entered his house,
and children were playing on top of the house.
A man with him forbade them,
but al-Hasan said, "Leave them,"
"for play is their springtime."
And Ibrahim al-Nakha'i, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"They used to permit children all kinds of play,"
"except with dogs."
Caring for orphans and disciplining them.
From Abu al-Darda', may Allah be pleased with him, who said:
"Fear the tear of the orphan,"
"and the supplication of the oppressed,"
"for they travel by night while people are asleep."
It was said to Ibn Sirin, may Allah have mercy on him:
"I have an orphan."
He said, "Do for him what you do for your own child."
"Discipline him as you discipline your own child."
And from Farqad al-Sabakhi, may Allah have mercy on him, who said:
"There is no table created,"
"of greater honor than a table,"
"at which an orphan is fed."
Other benefits: Ibn Abbas,
may Allah be pleased with them both, said regarding the saying of Allah the Almighty:
﴾And those who believed﴿
﴾and whose descendants followed them in faith﴿
He said:
"The believer’s descendants will be raised to his level,"
"even if they are lower than him in deeds,"
"so that Allah, the Almighty and Majestic, may gladden his eyes with them."
He also said, may Allah be pleased with him,
regarding the saying of Allah the Almighty:
﴾And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us..."﴿
“And who say: Our Lord! Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our offspring, and make us patterns for (all) those who ward off (evil).” (25:74)
"...the coolness of eyes. It does not mean,"
"the coolness of eyes is to see them healthy,"
"or beautiful, but rather to see them,"
"obedient to Allah, the Almighty and Majestic."
Al-Hasan al-Basri, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
Regarding the saying of Allah the Almighty, "Grant us..."
“And who say: Our Lord! Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our offspring, and make us patterns for (all) those who ward off (evil).” (25:74)
"...coolness of eyes in the obedience of Allah."
"And there is nothing more cooling to the eye of the believer,"
"than to see his loved one in obedience."
Malik Ibn Dinar, may Allah have mercy on him, saw:
A man performing his prayer poorly.
He said, "How merciful I am toward his family."
It was said to him, "This man performs his prayer poorly,"
"and you show mercy to his family?"
He said that he is their elder.
And from him they learn.
Ayyub al-Sakhtiyani, may Allah have mercy on him, used to—
when congratulating someone on a newborn—say:
May Allah make him a blessing for you,
and for the Ummah of Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.