WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:11.300 Our Mother ‘Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her. 00:00:11.300 --> 00:00:16.690 “O ‘Aishah, love him, for I love him.” 00:00:16.690 --> 00:00:24.660 Agreement between spouses on family-related matters 00:00:24.660 --> 00:00:28.660 helps them navigate life without conflict. 00:00:28.660 --> 00:00:34.750 Among these matters is the relationship with individuals connected to the family. 00:00:34.750 --> 00:00:39.750 This relationship may lead to their frequent presence in the home. 00:00:39.750 --> 00:00:42.750 It may also lead to a strong emotional attachment, 00:00:42.750 --> 00:00:47.750 stemming from the love and affection held by one of the family members, 00:00:47.750 --> 00:00:49.750 which then becomes apparent in their behavior. 00:00:49.750 --> 00:00:54.979 If there is no consensus between the spouses regarding such a person, 00:00:54.979 --> 00:00:57.979 jealousy often arises between them. 00:00:57.979 --> 00:01:03.979 Problems then occur, or are fabricated without the true cause being stated. 00:01:03.979 --> 00:01:10.329 The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was keen in his upbringing of his household 00:01:10.329 --> 00:01:14.329 to address this problem before it occurred. 00:01:14.329 --> 00:01:21.329 He guided women in particular toward etiquettes that prevent such problems from arising. 00:01:21.329 --> 00:01:25.359 And because we are speaking about the truthful one, daughter of the truthful one, 00:01:25.359 --> 00:01:30.359 whom the Prophet, peace be upon him, raised under his own care, 00:01:30.359 --> 00:01:33.359 we will mention the situations she experienced, 00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:38.359 which contain the Prophet’s instruction to her or to others, 00:01:38.359 --> 00:01:41.359 relevant to our topic in this article. 00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:47.519 The first situation concerns the love of the Prophet, peace be upon him, 00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:51.519 for Usamah ibn Zayd, may Allah be pleased with them both. 00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:56.519 The Prophet, peace be upon him, declared in more than one situation 00:01:56.519 --> 00:02:00.519 his love for Usamah and announced it to the people. 00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:04.519 For it is narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with them both, 00:02:04.519 --> 00:02:09.520 that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, sent an expedition 00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:12.520 and appointed Usamah ibn Zayd as its commander. 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:15.520 The people criticized his command, 00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:19.520 so the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, stood up and said: 00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:22.520 “If you criticize his command, 00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:26.520 you criticized the command of his father before him. 00:02:26.520 --> 00:02:30.520 By Allah, he was indeed worthy of command, 00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:34.520 and he was among the most beloved of people to me, 00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:38.520 and this one is among the most beloved of people to me after him.” 00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:40.780 Narrated by Al-Bukhari. 00:02:40.780 --> 00:02:44.780 Thus, the Prophet, peace be upon him, announced to everyone 00:02:44.780 --> 00:02:47.780 that he loved Usamah ibn Zayd, 00:02:47.780 --> 00:02:52.780 even though Usamah was from outside the Prophet’s immediate family. 00:02:52.780 --> 00:02:57.780 So how did the Prophet, peace be upon him, raise his family to love him? 00:02:57.780 --> 00:02:59.780 We mentioned before 00:02:59.780 --> 00:03:04.780 that the Prophet, peace be upon him, utilized life situations 00:03:04.780 --> 00:03:08.780 to educate his household and the Companions around him, 00:03:08.780 --> 00:03:12.780 may Allah be pleased with them all. 00:03:12.780 --> 00:03:15.000 Among these situations 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:18.000 is what was narrated by ‘Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:20.000 where she said: 00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:25.060 The Prophet, peace be upon him, wanted to remove some dirt from Usamah. 00:03:25.060 --> 00:03:27.060 ‘Aishah said: 00:03:27.060 --> 00:03:31.060 “Leave him to me, so that I may be the one to do it.” 00:03:31.060 --> 00:03:32.060 He said: 00:03:32.060 --> 00:03:35.060 “O ‘Aishah, love him, 00:03:35.060 --> 00:03:37.060 for I love him.” 00:03:37.060 --> 00:03:39.419 Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi. 00:03:39.419 --> 00:03:45.419 Indeed, agreement between spouses on loving a young child from outside the family 00:03:45.419 --> 00:03:49.419 prevents harm from befalling the child from any party. 00:03:49.419 --> 00:03:53.419 Especially if this child is from another wife of the husband, 00:03:53.419 --> 00:03:59.419 for the wise woman loves her husband’s children to gain his love, 00:03:59.419 --> 00:04:02.419 as he loves those who love them. 00:04:02.419 --> 00:04:04.479 The matter may also be the reverse, 00:04:04.479 --> 00:04:07.479 where the upbringing of the children 00:04:07.479 --> 00:04:10.479 is to align with their father in who he loves. 00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:12.479 This is the second situation, 00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:17.480 which ‘Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, narrates, saying: 00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:21.480 The wives of the Prophet, peace be upon him, sent 00:04:21.480 --> 00:04:25.480 Fatimah, daughter of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, 00:04:25.480 --> 00:04:29.480 to the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him. 00:04:29.480 --> 00:04:34.509 She asked permission to enter while he was lying with me under my garment, 00:04:34.509 --> 00:04:36.509 so he gave her permission. 00:04:36.509 --> 00:04:38.509 She said: “O Messenger of Allah, 00:04:38.509 --> 00:04:41.509 your wives have sent me to you 00:04:41.509 --> 00:04:44.509 asking you for justice regarding the daughter of Abu Quhafah.” 00:04:44.509 --> 00:04:46.509 I remained silent. 00:04:46.509 --> 00:04:48.509 She said: 00:04:48.509 --> 00:04:52.509 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said to her: 00:04:52.509 --> 00:04:54.509 “O my daughter, 00:04:54.509 --> 00:04:56.509 do you not love what I love?” 00:04:56.509 --> 00:04:58.509 She said: “Yes.” 00:04:58.509 --> 00:04:59.509 He said: 00:04:59.509 --> 00:05:01.540 “Then love this one.” 00:05:01.540 --> 00:05:03.540 She said: 00:05:03.540 --> 00:05:09.699 Fatimah stood up when she heard that from the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, 00:05:09.699 --> 00:05:13.699 and returned to the wives of the Prophet, peace be upon him, 00:05:13.699 --> 00:05:16.699 and informed them of what she had said 00:05:16.699 --> 00:05:20.699 and what the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, had said to her. 00:05:20.699 --> 00:05:22.699 They said to her: 00:05:22.699 --> 00:05:25.699 “We do not see that you have helped us at all. 00:05:25.699 --> 00:05:29.699 Return to the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, 00:05:29.699 --> 00:05:31.699 and say to him: 00:05:31.699 --> 00:05:35.699 ‘Your wives ask you for justice regarding the daughter of Abu Quhafah.’” 00:05:35.699 --> 00:05:37.699 Fatimah said: 00:05:37.699 --> 00:05:41.699 “By Allah, I will never speak to him about her again.” 00:05:41.699 --> 00:05:43.959 Narrated by Muslim. 00:05:43.959 --> 00:05:48.959 The statement of the Prophet, peace be upon him, to his daughter Fatimah, 00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:49.959 “O my daughter, 00:05:49.959 --> 00:05:52.959 do you not love what I love?” 00:05:52.959 --> 00:05:57.959 is worthy of being said to every daughter of the Muslims. 00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:02.959 If the daughter wishes to be dutiful to her father, 00:06:02.959 --> 00:06:08.089 then applying this word of the Prophet, peace be upon him, practically 00:06:08.089 --> 00:06:14.089 is sufficient to keep the daughter’s heart free from malice, hatred, and resentment, 00:06:14.089 --> 00:06:18.089 and preserves her tongue from backbiting and slander. 00:06:18.089 --> 00:06:23.089 It is also sufficient to prevent problems between children and stepmothers. 00:06:23.089 --> 00:06:29.220 Among the etiquettes the Prophet, peace be upon him, guided the wife toward 00:06:29.220 --> 00:06:33.220 to avoid falling into such problems 00:06:33.220 --> 00:06:37.220 based on differing stances toward people, 00:06:37.220 --> 00:06:42.220 is that the wife should not permit anyone to enter the marital home 00:06:42.220 --> 00:06:45.279 except those whom the husband approves of. 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:48.279 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: 00:06:48.279 --> 00:06:53.279 “It is not lawful for a woman to fast while her husband is present except with his permission, 00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:57.279 and she should not give permission for anyone to enter his house except with his permission.” 00:06:57.279 --> 00:06:59.470 Narrated by Al-Bukhari. 00:06:59.470 --> 00:07:02.470 And he, peace be upon him, said: 00:07:02.470 --> 00:07:05.470 “Know that you have a right over your wives, 00:07:05.470 --> 00:07:08.470 and your wives have a right over you. 00:07:08.470 --> 00:07:11.470 As for your right over your wives, 00:07:11.470 --> 00:07:14.470 they should not allow those you dislike to tread upon your bedding, 00:07:14.470 --> 00:07:18.470 nor should they give permission in your houses to those you dislike.” 00:07:18.470 --> 00:07:20.470 Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi. 00:07:20.470 --> 00:07:26.759 This hadith indicates the difference in stance toward people between spouses. 00:07:26.759 --> 00:07:31.759 And so that this difference does not affect the relationship between the spouses, 00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:35.759 the woman was commanded to keep people she loves— 00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:39.759 but whom the husband does not love—away from the marital home. 00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:41.759 They should not enter the house, 00:07:41.759 --> 00:07:44.759 nor should they come near the family, 00:07:44.759 --> 00:07:47.759 to protect this family from problems. 00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:51.889 If this etiquette is for the protection of the family, 00:07:51.889 --> 00:07:55.889 then a woman should not allow anyone the husband dislikes to enter her home. 00:07:55.889 --> 00:08:00.889 So how can we invite into our hearts those whom Allah, the Almighty, dislikes, 00:08:00.889 --> 00:08:04.889 or those who are hostile to the Prophet, peace be upon him, 00:08:04.889 --> 00:08:06.889 and mock his Sunnah, 00:08:06.889 --> 00:08:11.889 or attack the honor of his wives, the Mothers of the Believers? 00:08:11.889 --> 00:08:17.920 Do we not love those whom the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, loves? 00:08:17.920 --> 00:08:21.180 Let us then love ‘Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, 00:08:21.180 --> 00:08:24.180 name our daughters after her, 00:08:24.180 --> 00:08:26.180 defend her, 00:08:26.180 --> 00:08:29.180 and spread her biography among the people. 00:08:29.180 --> 00:08:36.179 May she be a role model for every woman who loves Allah and His Messenger, peace be upon him. 00:08:36.179 --> 00:08:40.620 We will continue in a future meeting, if Allah wills. 00:08:40.620 --> 00:08:43.620 And praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. 00:08:43.620 --> 00:08:50.570 Our Mother ‘Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her.