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Our mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.

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“O ‘A’ishah, what is the matter? Have you become jealous?”

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Jealousy is a beautiful trait among the characteristics of a woman.

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It indicates the depth of her love for her husband.

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Al-Humaydi, may Allah have mercy on him, defined jealousy

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as a constriction of the heart between a woman and her husband

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regarding what occurs in his heart toward her,

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or in her heart toward him, specifically in marital matters,

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such as his inclination toward another or her inclination toward another.

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It is derived from the changing of the heart and the agitation of anger

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due to sharing what is meant to be exclusive.

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Jealousy is praiseworthy if utilized in the correct manner

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according to the guidelines of the Shari‘ah.

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However, if it exceeds the Shari‘ah limits,

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it is blameworthy, and the woman incurs sin for it.

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Ibn Hajar, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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“The origin of jealousy is not acquired by women,”

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but if she exaggerates in that to an excessive degree, she is to be blamed.

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Jealousy is expected from the virtuous woman and others.

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The best of the women of this Ummah

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are the wives of the Prophet, peace be upon him, the Mothers of the Believers.

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Jealousy did indeed emanate from them.

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And the one from whom jealousy emanated the most was ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.

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The Prophet, peace be upon him, utilized

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the jealousy of ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,

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to train her in controlling her jealousy according to Shari‘ah guidelines,

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so that she might learn what is permissible for her regarding jealousy and what is not.

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Among these beautiful incidents

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is what happened to her one night with the Prophet, peace be upon him,

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when she woke up from sleep at night and did not find him.

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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:

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“I missed the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

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while he had been with me on my bed.”

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I found him prostrating, keeping his heels together,

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with the tips of his toes facing the Qiblah.

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I heard him saying:

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“I seek refuge in Your pleasure from Your displeasure,

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and in Your pardon from Your punishment,

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and in You from You.

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I cannot praise You enough;

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I cannot encompass all the praise that is due to You.”

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When he finished, he said:

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“O ‘A’ishah,

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has your devil come to you?”

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She said:

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“Do you not have a devil?”

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He said:

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“There is no human being who does not have a devil.”

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I said:

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“Even you, O Messenger of Allah?”

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He said:

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“Yes,

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but I prayed to Allah against him, and he submitted.”

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Narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah.

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And from ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,

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that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

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went out from her one night.

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She said:

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“I became jealous of him.”

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She said:

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“Then he came,

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and he saw what I was doing.”

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He said:

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“What is the matter, O ‘A’ishah?

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Have you become jealous?”

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She said:

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“I said:

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‘And why should someone like me not be jealous of someone like you?’”

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The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said:

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“Has your devil come to you?”

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She said: “O Messenger of Allah,

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do I have a devil with me?”

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He said: “Yes.”

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I said:

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“And with every person?”

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He said: “Yes.”

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I said:

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“And with you, O Messenger of Allah?”

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He said: “Yes,

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but my Lord, the Almighty and Exalted, helped me against him until he submitted.”

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Narrated by Ahmad.

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This is one of the instances of jealousy that ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, experienced.

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The summary of this situation

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is that ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was asleep,

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and it was her night.

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It was expected that the Prophet, peace be upon him, would be sleeping beside her.

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But when she woke up at night, she did not see him beside her.

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So she searched for him in the pitch-black darkness of the night,

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feeling around her,

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and her hand fell upon him while he was praying and supplicating.

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So she returned to her bed.

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When the Prophet, peace be upon him, finished his prayer,

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he said to her:

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“What is the matter, O ‘A’ishah?

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Have you become jealous?”

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She said: “I said:

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‘And why should someone like me not be jealous of someone like you?’”

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The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said:

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“Has your devil come to you?”

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The Prophet, peace be upon him, counted her jealousy in this instance as an incitement of the devil.

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So what is the reason?

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The reason for that

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is the suspicion that occurred in her mind,

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which was that the Prophet, peace be upon him, had left her and gone to one of his other wives.

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This is an evil suspicion regarding the Prophet, peace be upon him,

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and that he would not be fair with her on her night.

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This evil suspicion

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does not enter the soul except from the whisperings of the devil.

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Al-Tibi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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“In his saying,

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‘Your devil has come to you,’

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there is an indication of what passed in the hadith of Jabir ibn ‘Atik,

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from his saying:

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‘As for the jealousy that Allah hates,

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it is jealousy in the absence of suspicion.’”

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Meaning: How can you be jealous of me?

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You think that I am being unjust to you?

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That is, this is not a situation of suspicion.

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So the jealousy emanating from a woman

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that is based on evil suspicion of the husband

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is among the blameworthy jealousy for which the woman is blamed,

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which causes her to fall into sin,

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and ruins her life with her husband.

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Jealousy is an innate trait in all women,

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yet it is capable of being modified

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and capable of being directed.

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It is possible to reduce its intensity

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and control it at a certain limit,

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as happened with Umm Salamah with the Prophet, peace be upon him,

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when the Prophet, peace be upon him, prayed for her

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that Allah would remove her jealousy.

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Just as the instructions of the Prophet, peace be upon him, came

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to his wives

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to stop at the Shari‘ah limit regarding jealousy,

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for anyone who violates the Shari‘ah guidelines of jealousy.

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The guidelines of Shari‘ah jealousy are three.

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They are:

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First:

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That it must be based on actual suspicion.

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Second:

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That she must not commit what is forbidden for her in speech or action.

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These are examples of forbidden acts:

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Jealousy does not permit backbiting.

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Jealousy does not permit the destruction of others' property.

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Jealousy does not permit a woman to demand from her husband what she has no right to.

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Jealousy does not permit injustice.

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Jealousy does not permit a woman to taunt her co-wife.

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Jealousy does not permit claiming from the husband what has not been given.

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Jealousy does not permit evil suspicion of the husband.

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Jealousy does not permit spying on the husband.

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Jealousy does not permit harming the husband.

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Third:

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That jealousy should not lead to the corruption of righteous deeds.

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These are the guidelines of jealousy.

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Whoever fails in one of these guidelines,

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she is to be blamed for her jealousy.

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As for the jealousy that makes her work to win the heart of her husband,

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this is praiseworthy jealousy,

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for which the woman is rewarded.

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We will continue in a future meeting, if Allah wills.

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And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

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Our mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.