1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:08,210 Categories of men. 3 00:00:08,210 --> 00:00:16,629 Regarding the hadith of Umm Zar‘. 4 00:00:16,629 --> 00:00:21,980 So that you may be among the best of men. 5 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,980 My dear brother, the husband. 6 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,980 This is the conclusion of our Ramadan series. 7 00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:29,980 On the explanation and reflection of the hadith of Umm Zar‘. 8 00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:31,980 In clarifying the categories of men. 9 00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:34,979 I have made these quick pieces of advice for myself and for you. 10 00:00:34,979 --> 00:00:37,979 May Allah make me and you. 11 00:00:37,979 --> 00:00:41,039 Among the best of men to their wives. 12 00:00:41,039 --> 00:00:44,039 Firstly, Allah has commanded us to follow. 13 00:00:44,039 --> 00:00:47,039 His Prophet, peace be upon him. 14 00:00:47,039 --> 00:00:50,039 For He said: "There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah. 15 00:00:50,039 --> 00:00:52,039 An excellent pattern." 16 00:00:52,039 --> 00:00:54,039 And part of this following. 17 00:00:54,039 --> 00:00:58,039 Is following the way he treated his wives. 18 00:00:58,039 --> 00:01:02,039 And this following of the Prophet, peace be upon him, cannot be realized. 19 00:01:02,039 --> 00:01:06,040 Except through our knowledge of his biography with his wives. 20 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:10,040 This means that we should read extensively the hadiths. 21 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,040 Related to the biography of the Prophet, peace be upon him. 22 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,040 With his wives. 23 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,040 From the books of hadith. 24 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,040 And from the books that have specifically collected these hadiths. 25 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,040 Such as the book *Husn al-Uswah*. 26 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:27,040 *Fima Thabata ‘an Allah wa Rasulihi fi al-Niswa* (The Best Example: Regarding What Has Been Authenticated from Allah and His Messenger Concerning Women). 27 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,040 By Siddiq Hasan Khan. 28 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,040 And the book. 29 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:35,040 *Mawsu‘at Ahadith al-Mar’ah fi al-Kutub al-Sittah* (Encyclopedia of Hadiths Concerning Women in the Six Books). 30 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,420 By ‘Adil al-Hamad. 31 00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:38,420 Secondly. 32 00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:41,420 The Prophet, peace be upon him, described. 33 00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:44,420 His life with his wives in a general description. 34 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,420 For he said: 35 00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:48,420 "The best of you is the best of you to his family. 36 00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:51,420 And I am the best of you to my family." 37 00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:53,459 Narrated by al-Tirmidhi. 38 00:01:53,459 --> 00:01:55,459 Ibn ‘Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 39 00:01:55,459 --> 00:01:57,459 "If there is goodness in you. 40 00:01:57,459 --> 00:02:00,459 Then place it with those closest to you. 41 00:02:00,459 --> 00:02:04,459 And let them be the first to benefit from this goodness." 42 00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:07,459 This is the opposite of what some people do today. 43 00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:10,460 You find him ill-mannered with his family. 44 00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:12,460 But well-mannered with others. 45 00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:15,460 This is a grave error. 46 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:18,460 Your family is more deserving of your good conduct. 47 00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:20,460 Treat them with the best of character. 48 00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:22,460 Because they are the ones who are with you. 49 00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:24,460 Night and day. 50 00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:26,460 In private and in public. 51 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:29,460 If something befalls you, they suffer with you. 52 00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:31,460 If you are happy, they rejoice with you. 53 00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:34,460 And if you are sad, they grieve with you. 54 00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:36,460 So let your treatment of them. 55 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:39,460 Be better than your treatment of strangers. 56 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:44,379 For the best of people is the best of them to his family. 57 00:02:44,379 --> 00:02:47,379 Thirdly, my dear brother, the husband. 58 00:02:47,379 --> 00:02:51,379 In order to achieve excellence in your treatment of your family. 59 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:54,379 You must adhere to these matters. 60 00:02:54,379 --> 00:02:55,379 First. 61 00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:59,610 Strive against your soul to adorn yourself with noble character. 62 00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:02,610 By reflecting on the hadith of Umm Zar‘. 63 00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:05,610 We find that everyone whom his wife praised. 64 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:07,610 She praised for his good character. 65 00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:09,610 And everyone whom his wife criticized. 66 00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:12,610 She criticized for his poor character. 67 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:16,610 This means that the most important issue you should attend to. 68 00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:18,610 After attending to your religion. 69 00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:20,610 Is your character. 70 00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:23,610 That is why he, peace be upon him, said: 71 00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:27,610 "If someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to you. 72 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:29,610 Then marry him off." 73 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,669 Narrated by al-Tirmidhi. 74 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,669 Character is part of the religion. 75 00:03:33,669 --> 00:03:36,669 But the Prophet, peace be upon him. 76 00:03:36,669 --> 00:03:41,669 Emphasized it because there are people who perform their worship to Allah well. 77 00:03:41,669 --> 00:03:44,669 Yet they are ill-mannered with people. 78 00:03:44,669 --> 00:03:48,669 And these are among the bankrupt losers on the Day of Resurrection. 79 00:03:48,669 --> 00:03:51,669 He, peace be upon him, said: 80 00:03:51,669 --> 00:03:57,669 "The bankrupt one of my Ummah is the one who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, fasting, and zakat. 81 00:03:57,669 --> 00:04:01,669 But he comes having insulted this one, slandered that one. 82 00:04:01,669 --> 00:04:06,669 Consumed the wealth of this one, shed the blood of that one, and struck this one. 83 00:04:06,669 --> 00:04:10,669 So this one is given from his good deeds, and that one is given from his good deeds. 84 00:04:10,669 --> 00:04:15,669 And if his good deeds are exhausted before what is due from him is settled. 85 00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:18,670 Then their sins are taken and cast upon him. 86 00:04:18,670 --> 00:04:20,670 Then he is cast into the Fire." 87 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:23,829 So do not be one of them, my dear brother, the husband. 88 00:04:23,829 --> 00:04:29,829 Second, apply all the hadiths regarding good treatment of people to your wife. 89 00:04:29,829 --> 00:04:35,860 Some believe that the hadiths urging good treatment of people. 90 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:38,860 Such as a cheerful face and smiling. 91 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,860 Bringing joy to a Muslim. 92 00:04:41,860 --> 00:04:44,860 Helping people in all its forms. 93 00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:47,860 And striving to care for widows and the needy. 94 00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:50,860 Some believe that this applies to everyone. 95 00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:53,860 Except for the wife and the household. 96 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,860 This is a grave error. 97 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:58,860 Which, if you fall into it, my dear brother, the husband. 98 00:04:58,860 --> 00:05:01,860 You miss out on many good deeds. 99 00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:06,860 And you miss out on happiness in your home and with your wife. 100 00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:10,899 Reflect on the good deeds that come to you from these actions. 101 00:05:10,899 --> 00:05:15,019 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: 102 00:05:15,019 --> 00:05:18,019 "That you leave your heirs wealthy. 103 00:05:18,019 --> 00:05:23,019 Is better than that you leave them dependent, begging from people. 104 00:05:23,019 --> 00:05:28,019 And you will not spend any expenditure seeking thereby the Face of Allah. 105 00:05:28,019 --> 00:05:33,019 But you will be rewarded for it, even for what you place in the mouth of your wife." 106 00:05:33,019 --> 00:05:35,019 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 107 00:05:35,019 --> 00:05:39,149 And the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: 108 00:05:39,149 --> 00:05:42,149 "And in the intimate act of any of you is a charity." 109 00:05:42,149 --> 00:05:44,149 They said: "O Messenger of Allah. 110 00:05:44,149 --> 00:05:49,149 Does one of us fulfill his desire and have a reward in it?" 111 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:53,149 He said: "Do you see, if he placed it in a forbidden act. 112 00:05:53,149 --> 00:05:55,149 Would he have a sin in it?" 113 00:05:55,149 --> 00:06:01,149 Likewise, if he places it in the lawful, he has a reward. 114 00:06:01,149 --> 00:06:03,470 Narrated by Muslim. 115 00:06:03,470 --> 00:06:06,470 These hadiths, my dear brother, the husband. 116 00:06:06,470 --> 00:06:10,470 Inform you of the volume of good deeds that come to you. 117 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,470 Because of your gentle treatment of your wife. 118 00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:18,470 And imagine the volume of happiness that will overwhelm her heart with this treatment. 119 00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:22,470 Which is part of the joy you bring to her. 120 00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:24,600 Third. 121 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,600 Consider your wife a continuous charity for you. 122 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:32,600 And a door of goodness whose reward does not cease. 123 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,660 And to achieve this point. 124 00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:38,660 Apply this hadith to your wife. 125 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:41,660 And I will place the word "your wife" in small text. 126 00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:44,790 So that the meaning becomes clear to you. 127 00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:48,790 On the authority of ‘Umar that a man came to the Prophet, peace be upon him. 128 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:51,790 And said: "O Messenger of Allah. 129 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:54,790 Which of the people is most beloved to Allah? 130 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:57,790 And which of the deeds is most beloved to Allah?" 131 00:06:57,790 --> 00:07:01,790 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: 132 00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:03,790 "The most beloved of people to Allah. 133 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:07,790 Is the most beneficial of them to people—to your wife. 134 00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:09,790 And the most beloved of deeds to Allah. 135 00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:12,790 Is a joy you bring to a Muslim. 136 00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:14,819 To your wife. 137 00:07:14,819 --> 00:07:16,819 Or you relieve him of a distress. 138 00:07:16,819 --> 00:07:18,819 Or her. 139 00:07:18,819 --> 00:07:20,819 Or you pay off a debt for him. 140 00:07:20,819 --> 00:07:22,819 Or for her. 141 00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:24,819 Or you drive away hunger from him. 142 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,889 Or from her. 143 00:07:26,889 --> 00:07:29,889 And that I walk with a brother of mine for a need. 144 00:07:29,889 --> 00:07:31,889 Or with my wife. 145 00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:36,889 Is more beloved to me than that I seclude myself in this mosque for a month." 146 00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:38,889 Meaning the mosque of Medina. 147 00:07:38,889 --> 00:07:42,949 "And whoever restrains his anger toward his wife. 148 00:07:42,949 --> 00:07:44,949 Allah will conceal his faults. 149 00:07:44,949 --> 00:07:47,949 And whoever suppresses his rage toward his wife. 150 00:07:47,949 --> 00:07:50,949 Even though he could have acted upon it, he refrained. 151 00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:54,949 Allah will fill his heart with hope on the Day of Resurrection. 152 00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:59,050 And whoever walks with a brother—with his wife. 153 00:07:59,050 --> 00:08:02,050 For a need until he establishes it for her. 154 00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:06,050 Allah will make his feet firm on the day when feet slip." 155 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:09,139 Narrated by al-Tabarani in *al-Kabir*. 156 00:08:09,139 --> 00:08:11,500 Fourth. 157 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,500 Pray for her in her absence. 158 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,500 Especially during your prostration. 159 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,620 Supplication for people. 160 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:20,620 Does not come except from a loving heart. 161 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,620 And I believe that you, my dear brother, the husband. 162 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,620 Love your wife. 163 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,620 So have you prayed for her in her absence? 164 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:29,620 Or in your prayer? 165 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:31,660 On the authority of ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her. 166 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,659 That she said: 167 00:08:33,659 --> 00:08:36,659 "When I saw from the Prophet, peace be upon him. 168 00:08:36,659 --> 00:08:38,659 A good mood. 169 00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:40,659 I said: 'O Messenger of Allah. 170 00:08:40,659 --> 00:08:42,659 Pray to Allah for me.'" 171 00:08:42,659 --> 00:08:44,659 So he said: 172 00:08:44,659 --> 00:08:46,659 "O Allah, forgive ‘A’ishah. 173 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:48,659 Her past sins. 174 00:08:48,659 --> 00:08:50,659 And her future ones. 175 00:08:50,659 --> 00:08:52,659 What she kept secret and what she made public." 176 00:08:52,659 --> 00:08:54,659 So ‘A’ishah laughed. 177 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,659 Until her head fell into her lap. 178 00:08:56,659 --> 00:08:58,690 From laughter. 179 00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:01,690 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said to her: 180 00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:04,690 "Does my supplication please you?" 181 00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:06,690 She said: 182 00:09:06,690 --> 00:09:08,690 "And why would your supplication not please me?" 183 00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:10,750 He said: 184 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,750 "By Allah, it is my supplication for my Ummah. 185 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:14,750 In every prayer." 186 00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,820 Narrated by Ibn Hibban. 187 00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:18,980 Fifth. 188 00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:20,980 Stay away from the spoilers. 189 00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,980 Of marital life. 190 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,139 The spoilers of marital life. 191 00:09:25,139 --> 00:09:27,139 Are many. 192 00:09:27,139 --> 00:09:29,139 But I warn you, my dear brother, the husband. 193 00:09:29,139 --> 00:09:31,139 Against two things. 194 00:09:31,139 --> 00:09:33,139 The first. 195 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,139 Casting glances at the faces of women. 196 00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:37,139 This looking. 197 00:09:37,139 --> 00:09:39,139 Will not end except with the fear of Allah. 198 00:09:39,139 --> 00:09:41,139 And the fear of His punishment. 199 00:09:41,139 --> 00:09:43,139 Otherwise, the faces 200 00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:45,139 of beautiful women are endless; 201 00:09:45,139 --> 00:09:47,139 for every time you look at one woman, 202 00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:49,139 another appears with the best 203 00:09:49,139 --> 00:09:51,139 of what she has to offer. 204 00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:53,139 Especially since Satan beautifies 205 00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:55,139 the forbidden for you, 206 00:09:55,139 --> 00:09:57,139 while making the lawful seem repulsive to you. 207 00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,139 Looking at what is forbidden 208 00:09:59,139 --> 00:10:01,139 is among the sins that may cause separation 209 00:10:01,139 --> 00:10:03,139 between you and your wife. 210 00:10:03,139 --> 00:10:05,200 The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: 211 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,200 "No two people are brought together 212 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,200 and then separated 213 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,200 except by a sin 214 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,200 committed by one of them." 215 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,200 Narrated by Ahmad. 216 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,259 The second point: 217 00:10:17,259 --> 00:10:19,259 Comparing what you see 218 00:10:19,259 --> 00:10:21,259 or hear with your own wife. 219 00:10:21,299 --> 00:10:23,299 This is one of the most dangerous things 220 00:10:23,299 --> 00:10:25,299 for your heart and your mental state, 221 00:10:25,299 --> 00:10:27,299 because you will never be content 222 00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:29,299 with what you have, 223 00:10:29,299 --> 00:10:31,299 and it is the beginning of problems with your wife. 224 00:10:31,299 --> 00:10:33,460 It may well be that the cause 225 00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:35,460 of the divorce of Umm Zar' 226 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,460 was what Abu Zar' fell into 227 00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:39,460 by casting his gaze upon other women 228 00:10:39,460 --> 00:10:41,460 and making comparisons between 229 00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:43,460 what he saw and his wife, 230 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:45,460 which is a sin that caused separation 231 00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:48,669 between them. 232 00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:50,669 In conclusion, 233 00:10:50,669 --> 00:10:52,669 I ask Allah to grant you happiness, dear brother, 234 00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:54,669 with your noble wife, 235 00:10:54,669 --> 00:10:56,669 to fill your heart with love for her, 236 00:10:56,669 --> 00:10:58,669 and for you to be 237 00:10:58,669 --> 00:11:00,669 the most beloved of people to her. 238 00:11:00,669 --> 00:11:02,830 We will meet you, 239 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,830 my brothers and sisters, in a 240 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,830 coming Ramadan series, 241 00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:08,830 if Allah wills. 242 00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,830 And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. 243 00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:12,830 May the peace and blessings of Allah be 244 00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:14,830 upon our Prophet Muhammad, 245 00:11:14,830 --> 00:11:16,830 and upon his family, 246 00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:18,830 and all of his Companions.