Riyad al-Salihin (The Meadows of the Righteous)
from the words of the Master of the Messengers,
peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.
Chapter: The Husband's Rights over the Wife.
Allah the Exalted said:
“Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” (4:34)
“Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” (4:34)
“Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” (4:34)
"So righteous women are devoutly obedient..."
“Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” (4:34)
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"If a man invites his wife to his bed
and she refuses to come,
and he spends the night angry with her,
the angels curse her until morning."
Agreed upon.
In another narration by them both:
"If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed,
the angels curse her until morning."
And in another narration:
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"By the One in Whose Hand is my soul,
there is no man who calls his wife to his bed,
and she refuses him,
except that the One in the heaven is displeased with her
until he becomes pleased with her."
Among the points of benefit from the hadith:
The obligation of the wife to obey her husband
when he calls her to his bed,
provided she has no valid excuse,
because the strongest matter that preoccupies a man
is the desire for intimacy.
Therefore, the Wise Lawgiver urged women
to assist the husband in this regard,
so that he may lower his gaze and guard his chastity.
It is incumbent upon the woman
to seek his pleasure in all that does not involve disobedience to Allah.
A man's patience in abstaining from intercourse is weaker than a woman's;
hence, a woman's refusal to come to her husband's bed is a major sin
that incurs the wrath of Allah.
The angels supplicate against people of sin as long as they persist in it,
and the supplication of the angels is answered, whether for good or bad,
because the Prophet (peace be upon him) warned against this and struck fear of it.
His saying (peace be upon him):
"except that the One in the heaven is displeased with her"
refers to Allah, Who is above the heaven,
as in the saying of the Exalted:
“Have ye taken security from Him Who is in the heaven that He will not cause the earth to swallow you when lo! it is convulsed?” (67:16)
“Or have ye taken security from Him Who is in the heaven that He will not let loose on you a hurricane? But ye shall know the manner of My warning.” (67:17)
"...then you will know how [terrible] was My warning."
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him),
that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"It is not lawful for a woman to fast while her husband is present except with his permission,
nor may she admit anyone into his home except with his permission."
Agreed upon.
"While her husband is present" means he is residing and not traveling.
Among the points of benefit from the hadith:
A wife's voluntary fasting while her husband is present requires his permission,
to safeguard his right over her and ensure it is not neglected.
It is not permissible for a woman to admit anyone into her husband's home except with his consent and approval.
On the authority of Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both),
from the Prophet (peace be upon him), who said:
"All of you are shepherds and all of you are responsible for your flock:
the ruler is a shepherd, and the man is a shepherd over the members of his household,
and the woman is a shepherdess over her husband's home and his children.
So all of you are shepherds, and all of you are responsible for your flock."
Agreed upon.
"Shepherd" means one entrusted with the care of a responsibility and custodian over it,
commanded to manage it with justice.
"His flock" means those under his care.
Among the points of benefit from the hadith:
Responsibility within the Muslim community is collective,
and each person bears it according to their capacity and ability;
for every Muslim stands upon one of the breach-points of Islam,
so let no breach occur from his direction.
The man is a shepherd over the members of his household:
he feeds them, clothes them, nurtures them, and teaches them.
The woman's role in Muslim society is immense,
and her influence is profound;
thus she ought to fulfill her husband's right
and discharge her duty toward her children,
in terms of nurturing and preparation,
so that they may uphold their religion with strength and pride.
On the authority of Abu 'Ali Talq Ibn 'Ali (may Allah be pleased with him),
that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"If a man calls his wife for his need,
let her come to him even if she is at the oven."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi and al-Nasa'i.
"His need" means what he requires of her
from among the duties incumbent upon her,
and it refers to sexual intimacy.
"The oven" refers to that in which bread is baked.
Among the points of benefit from the hadith:
The husband's right over his wife is immense,
so she ought to prepare herself for it.
It is the duty of the wife to strive
to please her husband and make him happy
in everything that he loves,
owing to the favor he holds over her
in providing protection and care.
Matters vary in degrees of importance,
with some taking precedence over others.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him),
from the Prophet (peace be upon him), who said:
"Were I to command anyone to prostrate before another,
I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi.
Among the points of benefit from the hadith:
Prostration is an act of worship that is not fitting
except for Allah alone.
The husband's right over his wife is immense,
second only to Allah's right over her.
It is not permissible for any human being to prostrate before another human being;
thus whoever prostrates before a human or an idol by choice
has cast off the bond of Islam from his neck.
On the authority of Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said:
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her
will enter Paradise."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi.
Among the points of benefit from the hadith:
If a Muslim woman passes away
while believing in Allah alone without any partner,
and having fulfilled her husband's rights,
she will enter Paradise through the mercy and favor of Allah.
This is an elucidation of the magnitude of the husband's right over his wife.
Corroborating this hadith is
the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him):
"When a woman prays her five daily prayers,
fasts her month,
guards her chastity,
and obeys her husband,
she may enter through whichever gate of Paradise she pleases."
On the authority of Mu'adh Ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him),
from the Prophet (peace be upon him), who said:
"No woman causes harm to her husband in this world
except that his wife among the wide-eyed maidens of Paradise says:
'Do not harm him, may Allah fight you!
For he is merely a passing guest with you;
he will soon depart from you to join us.'"
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi.
"A passing guest" means a temporary lodger and visitor.
Among the points of benefit from the hadith:
A warning to the woman against harming her husband, whether tangibly or intangibly.
Allah has prepared purified spouses for the believers in Paradise,
who await the believers with yearning and eagerness,
so much so that they cannot bear for the believer to be mistreated,
even by his wife in this worldly life.
Paradise and its bliss exist right now.
This world is an abode of trial and testing,
while the Hereafter is the abode of recompense and permanence.
On the authority of Usamah Ibn Zayd (may Allah be pleased with them both),
from the Prophet (peace be upon him), who said:
"I have not left behind me any trial
more harmful to men than women."
Agreed upon.
Among the points of benefit from the hadith:
The temptation of women is more perilous to men than any other;
therefore, women ought to abide peacefully in their homes
and not display their charms as was the practice in the former times of ignorance.
Riyad al-Salihin, O Riyad al-Salihin...
Riyad al-Salihin.