A summary of the concepts held by the Ahl al-Sunnah.
Discipline through punishment.
Punishment is not something inherently reprehensible or forbidden,
nor is it harmful to the character of an individual or a child,
as some contemporary schools of thought in modern-day ignorance claim.
For the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, commanded that a child be disciplined for neglecting prayer.
He said:
"Command your children to pray when they reach seven years of age,
and strike them for it when they reach ten."
However, what we need to establish and emphasize is the following:
First:
Punishment, in both its physical and psychological forms, should not be
the first resort for the educator.
Rather, one should begin with reward,
and if that proves ineffective,
then move on to punishment,
starting with the psychological before the physical.
Second:
Individual differences between one child and another must be taken into account,
and the type and necessary dosage of punishment must be determined with wisdom.
For there is a child who views being ignored as a deterrent punishment that deeply affects his conscience,
so one should not exceed that punishment or move on to another,
nor should the period of being ignored be prolonged if a little of it is sufficient.
Yet there is another child who will not be deterred except by physical punishment,
so one should use with him what is effective for him.
Third:
The educator should ensure that the punishment is also appropriate for the offense in terms of severity.
He should not have a fixed dosage of punishment that he applies to every case indiscriminately,
for that might embolden a child to commit a major transgression,
as long as its punishment is the same as that of a minor one.
Fourth:
Likewise, it is better to threaten with punishment than to actually carry it out,
because that preserves its lasting sense of awe in the child’s soul,
unlike frequent implementation,
which may cause the child to become accustomed to it and lose his fear of it.