In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
There is no harm in gentle reproach.
For Allah, the Almighty and Majestic, in His Noble Qur'an,
gently reproached His Prophet.
And the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
would reproach his Companions.
However, there are certain rules for reproach
that must be observed.
That is why it is said:
Excessive blame breeds enmity and hatred,
while abandoning reproach entirely leads to estrangement.
It is like salt in food;
if it exceeds its proper measure,
it turns into its opposite.
We have in the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
a beautiful example.
Anas Ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him,
the servant of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
says:
"I served the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, for ten years,
and he never once said 'uff' to me.
He never asked me regarding something I did, 'Why did you do it?'
Nor regarding something I left undone, 'Why did you leave it?'"
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
was among the best of people in character.
"I never touched silk or brocade,
nor anything softer than the palm of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.
And I never smelled musk,
nor any perfume, more fragrant than the sweat of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him."
Therefore, one must be gentle in reproach.
To eliminate it is a mistake,
and to do it excessively is a mistake.
Among the requirements of reproach
is to clarify the error to the one you are reproaching, if they are indeed in the wrong.
A second truth regarding reproach:
Do not demand that others never make mistakes.
For on the authority of Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, he said:
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
"Every son of Adam is a sinner,
and the best of sinners are those who repent."
If you wish to reproach a brother of yours,
use gentle words
and kind, acceptable speech,
for a good word is a charity.
Reproach is an art that few have mastered.
That is why we find many friends and loved ones
losing one another due to their ignorance of the art of reproach.
So, make the system of reproach between you and your brother
a means of strengthening your relationship with him,
and do not make it a cause for dispute.
For if you were to reproach,
let it be for the sake of goodness, righteousness, and virtue.
So be as the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was
in his reproach:
a soothing balm and a gentle touch,
a means of upbringing and compassion,
and a manifestation of truthfulness, pardon, appreciation, and respect.
How beautiful is reproach between those who love one another!
These are some of the rules of reproach;
adhere to them if you are to be one who reproaches.