In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
The story of Maryam, daughter of ‘Imran.
Peace be upon her.
The birth of ‘Isa, son of Maryam.
Maryam, peace be upon her, went through the stages of pregnancy,
which every woman experiences.
She lived through the pains of pregnancy with all the fluctuations known to women.
Maryam, peace be upon her, was [careful],
so that they would not perceive her pregnancy.
Allah the Almighty says:
“And she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a far place.” (19:22)
Ibn Jarir, may Allah have mercy on him, says:
He says:
She withdrew with the one she carried, who was ‘Isa,
and she retreated with him to a remote place.
He says:
A distant, secluded place away from people.
She distanced herself from people so that she would not have to face them before the birth,
because people did not know the truth of this pregnancy,
and that it was one of the signs of Allah.
[She waited] until she gave birth, then Allah would decree the matter.
She believed in the word of Allah and trusted in it,
so Allah would surely decree for her in her affair with the people.
This is evidence of her wisdom in dealing with this great and difficult event.
In this is a lesson for every woman:
not to rush into confronting people regarding events she has no control over,
especially matters related to her marital life.
Perhaps Allah will bring about a situation she had not imagined.
An example of this is divorce.
A woman may be divorced while she does not desire it,
so she should not rush to spread the news among people,
especially those whom the matter does not concern.
If it is rumored among people that she is divorced,
this may harm her psychologically,
and she will suffer because of people's talk.
Then Allah may bring about another turn of events,
and she returns to her husband.
Allah the Almighty says:
"O Prophet,
when you divorce women,
divorce them for their waiting period,"
and count the waiting period accurately.
"And fear Allah, your Lord."
“O Prophet! When ye (men) put away women, put them away for their (legal) period and reckon the period, and keep your duty to Allah, your Lord. Expel them not from their houses nor let them go forth unless they commit open immorality. Such are the limits (imposed by) Allah; and whoso transgresseth Allah's limits, he verily wrongeth his soul. Thou knowest not: it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass.” (65:1)
"And do not turn them out, except..."
"And do not turn them out, except..."
"...that they commit a clear immorality."
"And those are the limits of Allah."
"And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah,
has certainly wronged himself."
“O Prophet! When ye (men) put away women, put them away for their (legal) period and reckon the period, and keep your duty to Allah, your Lord. Expel them not from their houses nor let them go forth unless they commit open immorality. Such are the limits (imposed by) Allah; and whoso transgresseth Allah's limits, he verily wrongeth his soul. Thou knowest not: it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass.” (65:1)
“O Prophet! When ye (men) put away women, put them away for their (legal) period and reckon the period, and keep your duty to Allah, your Lord. Expel them not from their houses nor let them go forth unless they commit open immorality. Such are the limits (imposed by) Allah; and whoso transgresseth Allah's limits, he verily wrongeth his soul. Thou knowest not: it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass.” (65:1)
This verse gives hope
to every divorced woman
that she might return to her marital life better than it was before.
So do not be hasty, my dear sister,
in confronting people
with your private affairs,
lest they add worry upon your worry.
Maryam withdrew from the people,
and moved far away from them.
When the time of birth drew near,
as Allah the Almighty says:
“And she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a far place.” (19:22)
Al-Shinqiti, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
This remote place
has been described by Allah the Almighty
in another passage, saying:
“And We made the son of Mary and his mother a portent, and We gave them refuge on a height, a place of flocks and watersprings.” (23:50)
“And We made the son of Mary and his mother a portent, and We gave them refuge on a height, a place of flocks and watersprings.” (23:50)
Allah chose for her a blessed place
that suited her coming situation
of childbirth and postpartum.
Ibn Jarir al-Tabari, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
Regarding His saying, "And We sheltered them within a high ground,"
he says: We gathered them and brought them to a high ground.
It is said, "Awa fulan ila mawdi' kadha" (So-and-so sought refuge in such-and-such a place),
meaning he takes shelter there,
when he arrives at it.
It is on the pattern of "af'altuhu,"
meaning he provides shelter.
And His saying, "to a high ground" (rabwah),
means to a place elevated from the earth relative to what is around it.
Ibn Kathir, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
Al-Dahhak reported from Ibn ‘Abbas:
The "rabwah" is the elevated place of the earth,
and it is the best place for vegetation.
Ibn ‘Atiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
The meaning of the verse
is that it is among the lands whose qualities are complete.
It is worthy of being settled in,
and it is possible to settle there in perfection.
In lands where the water is from wells,
it is clarified that the water of this high ground
is seen as flowing water on the surface of the earth,
as stated by Ibn ‘Abbas.
This is the perfection of perfection.
The "ma'in" (flowing water) is that which is visible and flowing for the eye.
It is water that is abundant,
and it is that whose flow is witnessed,
not like a well or the like.
So Allah's choice and His granting of success to her
in the place of birth
is a sign indicating that
divine success and care
accompanied her even after the birth
and the confrontation with the people.
Then the labor pains began,
and she was in this place far from people,
alone, with no one to help her in childbirth,
and she did not know of the pains of childbirth
and its terrors before that,
nor how to act.
So she leaned against the trunk of a palm tree
on that high ground.
Allah the Almighty says, describing her state:
"And the pains of childbirth drove her
to the trunk of a palm tree."
Ibn Kathir, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
Meaning, it compelled her,
and the labor pains forced her
to the trunk of the palm tree.
Every woman
who has experienced childbirth
knows the pains of labor.
But what Maryam, peace be upon her, went through
was more difficult than what
every woman has gone through.
Yes, labor pains vary
from one woman to another,
but they all share
the joy after birth
with the newborn,
so they forget the pains of labor.
Except for Maryam, peace be upon her,
for she was suffering
from psychological pains
that gathered upon her
along with the pains of labor:
childbirth without marriage,
and the history of a family
that was entirely a people
of selection by Allah, goodness, and righteousness,
and many prophets,
and proximity
to the Holy House (Bayt al-Maqdis).
So how would she face the people?
And what would she say to them?
And how
would they believe her?
And this is indicated by these pains
in her saying:
"Oh, I wish I had died before this
“And the pangs of childbirth drove her unto the trunk of the palm-tree. She said: Oh, would that I had died ere this and had become a thing of naught, forgotten!” (19:23)
and was a thing forgotten,
utterly forgotten."
Ibn Jarir al-Tabari,
may Allah have mercy on him,
mentioned that she said this
during the state of labor,
out of shyness before the people.
And Ibn Kathir,
may Allah have mercy on him, said:
And His saying, the Almighty, informing about her:
“And the pangs of childbirth drove her unto the trunk of the palm-tree. She said: Oh, would that I had died ere this and had become a thing of naught, forgotten!” (19:23)
"And was a thing forgotten,
utterly forgotten,"
contains evidence for the permissibility
of wishing for death during a trial.
For she knew
that she would be tested and tried
with this newborn,
whom the people would not interpret
in her favor correctly,
nor would they believe her
in her account,
after she had been among them a worshiper
and a devout woman.
So she said:
“And the pangs of childbirth drove her unto the trunk of the palm-tree. She said: Oh, would that I had died ere this and had become a thing of naught, forgotten!” (19:23)
Meaning, before this
situation,
"I wish I had been a thing forgotten,
utterly forgotten."
Meaning, I had not been created,
and I had not been anything.
This was stated by Ibn ‘Abbas.
And Al-Suddi said:
She said it while she was in labor
from the pregnancy, out of shyness
before the people.
“And the pangs of childbirth drove her unto the trunk of the palm-tree. She said: Oh, would that I had died ere this and had become a thing of naught, forgotten!” (19:23)
This distress that
I am in, and the sadness
from the birth of the child
without a husband.
And Al-Shinqiti, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
And His saying in this
noble verse about her:
"And was a thing forgotten,
utterly forgotten."
The "nasi" and "nasi"
with a kasra or a fatha [on the nun],
is that which is fit to be discarded
and forgotten due to its insignificance,
like menstrual rags,
like sticks and twigs,
and the like.
And from the speech of the Arabs, when they departed
Regarding the word 'nasi' (forgetfulness/insignificance):
Consider the term 'nasi'—
the plural of 'nasi'—
refers to those trivial, insignificant things
that are naturally left behind and forgotten,
such as a walking stick, a tent peg,
or similar items.
Thus, her saying,
"And I had become a thing forgotten,"
means a trivial, insignificant thing
that deserves to be left behind.
And her saying,
"forgotten,"
means that this thing,
which is trivial and by nature
is left behind and forgotten,
has indeed been forgotten and cast aside,
so it has found the state of being forgotten
which is its rightful due.
Can you now imagine,
my dear sister, the magnitude
of the trial endured
by Maryam, peace be upon her,
to the point that she wished for death?
Have you sensed the degree
of chastity in the soul of Maryam
that led her to say what she said?
Indeed, a chaste woman
would wish for death
rather than have her chastity tarnished.
Chastity is a virtue
that is the highest of all virtues
for a woman, and to it return
many of her other moral qualities,
to which they are bound
by a firm connection from which
they can never be severed.
A woman's chastity
is manifested in her dress,
her gait, her speech,
her gaze, her adornment,
her remaining in her home,
and her keeping
away from mixing with men
in all spheres of life.
Indeed, chastity
is the essence of a woman's life;
and whenever it is tarnished,
the essence falls away,
leaving the body without a soul
or any splendor.
We shall continue in a future meeting,
if Allah wills,
and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.