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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

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Categories of men in the hadith of Umm Zur'ah.

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"My husband is like lean camel meat on top of a mountain."

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After the women sat down and pledged to speak truthfully about their husbands,

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and not to conceal anything,

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the first one said:

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"My husband is like lean camel meat on top of a mountain."

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"There is no ease to ascend it,"

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"nor is it plump enough to be moved."

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This wife is criticizing her husband with several reprehensible qualities,

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and likening him to spoiled camel meat.

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And despite its spoiled nature,

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it is placed on the highest point of the mountain.

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And the mountain is rugged.

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So who would covet lean, spoiled meat

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that is difficult to reach?

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And moving it from its place is not worth the effort expended on it,

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because it is lean and spoiled.

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Abu Ubayd al-Harawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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She describes his lack of goodness and his remoteness, along with that lack,

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like something on a difficult, high mountain,

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which can only be reached with hardship.

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And his lack of goodness means stinginess,

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which is a reprehensible trait, especially in men.

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Al-Qadi Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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This woman described her husband as stingy and lacking in goodness,

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and his goodness being remote and difficult to attain,

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like lean or spoiled meat that is moved,

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which one disdains and therefore does not seek.

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So how about if it were on a difficult, rugged mountain peak?

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Or a dune that has been trampled,

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on which one cannot walk,

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and can only be reached with hardship.

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Stinginess is a very reprehensible trait among people.

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For the stingy person withholds his wealth from those who deserve it or to whom it is due.

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And the one most harmed by stinginess is the wife,

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because the stingy person denies her her right to sustenance.

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And this is a continuous harm as long as she is married to him.

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Therefore, Bishr ibn al-Harith al-Hafi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"Do not marry a stingy man, nor deal with him."

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And this is a valuable piece of advice from a noble scholar

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to every woman approaching marriage.

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Do not agree to marry a stingy man.

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For the stingy person has no friend but money.

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The stingy person is not fit to be a husband,

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nor to lead people.

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For it is narrated in a hadith from Jabir ibn Abdullah, may Allah be pleased with them both, that he said:

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The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

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Who is your chief, O Banu Salimah?

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We said: "Judd ibn Qays, on the condition that he is stingy."

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He said: "And what ailment is more incurable than stinginess?"

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Rather, your chief is Umar ibn al-Jamuh.

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Narrated by Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad.

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The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

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did not accept that a stingy man be made chief over people.

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He described stinginess as the most destructive of diseases to a person's character.

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Al-Mawardi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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And from stinginess, other blameworthy traits may arise,

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even if it is a gateway to every form of condemnation.

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Four traits:

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Enough said about their vileness.

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They are greed and impetuosity,

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and ill suspicion,

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and withholding rights.

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Then he, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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As for withholding rights,

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the stingy person's soul is not willing to part with what it loves,

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nor does it submit to relinquishing what it desires.

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So it does not yield to a right,

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nor does it agree to fairness.

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And when the stingy person devolves into what we have described of these blameworthy traits

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and base dispositions,

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no good is to be hoped for from him,

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nor any betterment anticipated.

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The stingy person is of little intellect,

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poor in management,

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deprived of the good of this world,

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narrow-minded,

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he dislikes guests,

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and dislikes associating with people.

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His faith is weak,

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he has ill suspicion of his Lord.

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Blameworthy qualities have gathered in him,

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stemming from stinginess.

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This is but one of the traits that the first woman alluded to with her saying:

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"My husband is like rancid camel meat,

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atop a mountain,

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neither easy to ascend,

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nor so plump as to be moved."

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Some scholars have understood other traits that this woman indicated with this eloquent description.

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Al-Khattabi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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She describes his lack of goodness and his remoteness, along with that lack,

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like something on a difficult mountain,

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which can only be reached with hardship.

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I say:

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The meaning of "remoteness" here

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that he has been described with bad character,

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and arrogance, and carrying himself with haughtiness and pride.

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You mean that despite his lack of goodness and stinginess,

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he is arrogant towards his relatives,

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and turns away disdainfully.

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So he combines withholding support

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with causing harm and bad character.

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He is therefore in a good state, yet arrogant towards people.

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And this is a very great affliction.

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The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said about it:

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"He will not enter Paradise, whoever has in his heart

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an atom's weight of pride."

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A man said,

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"A man likes his clothes to be good and his sandals to be good."

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He said,

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"Allah is beautiful and loves beauty.

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Pride is

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rejecting the truth and looking down on people."

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Narrated by Muslim.

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And it is a wonder of this hadith

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that the man asked the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

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about a description that is never found in misers,

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which is their concern for their clothes, their demeanor, and their appearance.

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So the miser who combines stinginess and pride

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is among the worst of people.

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He did not benefit with his wealth,

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nor with his companionship to people,

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because he despises them and belittles them.

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And this is pride.

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He has deprived himself of the bliss of this world and the bliss of the Hereafter,

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and tormented himself in this world,

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and by despising people, he torments himself in the Hereafter.

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And among the beautiful words describing the psyche of this stingy, arrogant husband

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is what Al-Suyuti, may Allah have mercy on him, transmitted from Al-Shadhili in his contemplation of this hadith,

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where he said:

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The first type

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is the arrogant soul,

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the one who is turned away and rejected,

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whose delusion has overcome the resolve of a people,

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so they came with injustice and falsehood,

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and became arrogant within themselves,

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and transgressed a great transgression.

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And this is the most difficult soul to guide,

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the furthest in presence,

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the greatest in stubbornness,

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and the most averse.

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It charges with the charge of rulers and splendor,

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and rushes towards vices like a moth rushes,

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and she claims with her tongue

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"I am the sun and the moon."

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Then, when what she has of flaws becomes apparent,

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darkness descends and becomes murky.

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So, how vast the difference between bad news and good news!

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And she imitates the boastful in her words about the states of those who witness,

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and the plumage of peacocks,

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not to be confused with the thorns of hedgehogs.

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And the soul possessing these traits,

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when it is looked upon with the eye of divine support,

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and drawn by providence with the reins of rectitude,

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its arrogance, which was once fat, becomes emaciated,

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and its pride, which was once precious, becomes insignificant.

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It is isolated from self-discipline in a mountain difficult to traverse,

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far in its peaks and reaches,

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where the lovers of leadership have no path,

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nor do base ambitions rely upon it.

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So, when its soul submits to falsehood and is overthrown,

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it becomes as I have informed and stated:

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"My husband is rancid camel meat

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atop a rugged mountain."

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The burden of humility has emaciated the fat of its arrogance,

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and the light of his remembrance has melted the flesh of his immense pride.

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And it resides, from the mountain of self-discipline and obscurity,

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at a summit difficult to reach.

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Neither is the mountain easy to ascend,

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nor is the meat plump to be chosen.

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And the question that presents itself here is:

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What does a wife do if she is tested with such a husband?

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This issue occurred during the time of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.

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And he issued a ruling that satisfies the hearts,

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and remedies matters,

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and removes the hardship from the woman in her dealings with this stingy, miserly man.

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It is narrated from Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, that she said:

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Hind bint Utbah,

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the wife of Abu Sufyan,

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entered upon the Messenger of Allah,

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and said:

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"O Messenger of Allah,

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Abu Sufyan is a stingy man;

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he does not provide me with enough sustenance for myself and my children,

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except what I take from his wealth without his knowledge.

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Is there any sin upon me for that?"

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So the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

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"Take from his wealth, according to what is right, enough for you and your children."

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Narrated by Muslim.

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Ibn Abd al-Barr, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"So he ordered her to compensate him by taking her due from his wealth.

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The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, permitted her to take from his wealth

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without his knowledge what would suffice her and her children.

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He qualified this with "what is proper" (bi'l-ma'ruf).

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So do not be extravagant in taking from his wealth.

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And do not take more than your basic needs.

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Stinginess is a blameworthy trait that can be changed.

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So the advice to a stingy husband

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is to strive to change this trait

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by feigning generosity

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and increasing spending on public charities and other things,

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while persistently imploring Allah to remove this trait from himself

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and to adorn himself with noble character.

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From Abu Ad-Darda', may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

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Allah's Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

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Knowledge is only gained through learning.

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And forbearance is only gained through cultivating it.

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Whoever seeks good will be given it.

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And whoever guards against evil will be protected from it.

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Narrated by At-Tabarani in Al-Awsat.

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And from Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him,

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that Allah's Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

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used to seek refuge after prayers with these words:

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"O Allah, I seek refuge in You from cowardice and stinginess."

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Narrated by Al-Bukhari.

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Stinginess is not among the characteristics of prophets or the righteous.

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Indeed, the believer is generous and noble.

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Cowardice and stinginess

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are among the evil traits that are not befitting for a believer.

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And he should frequently seek refuge in Allah from them.

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My brother husband, feign generosity until you become generous,

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and seek good, and you will attain it.

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And stay away from evil, and Allah will keep it away from you.

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We will continue in a future meeting, Allah willing.

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And all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.