In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
With pens of longing and the ink of love,
we compose lines more precious than gold
describing the Master of Creation, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him:
the Prophetic characteristics (Shama'il).
Chapter on what has been narrated concerning the nighttime conversation of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.
Al-Samar is conversation by night,
and the linguistic root of samar relates to the color of moonlight,
because they used to converse beneath it.
On the authority of 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, who said:
Eleven women sat together,
and made a mutual covenant and pledge
that they would conceal nothing of their husbands' news.
The first one said:
"My husband is like the meat of an emaciated camel,
placed upon the summit of a rugged mountain:
it is neither easily accessible that one might climb to it,
nor is it plump that it might be brought down."
The second one said:
"My husband—I will not spread his news abroad,
for I fear that I will leave nothing unsaid;
if I mention him, I must mention his prominent knots and hidden flaws."
The third one said:
"My husband is a towering lanky man;
if I speak, I am divorced,
and if I remain silent, I am left in suspense."
The fourth one said:
"My husband is like the night of Tihamah:
neither hot nor cold,
bringing neither fear nor weariness."
The fifth one said:
"My husband, when he enters, is a leopard;
when he goes out, he is a lion;
and he never asks about what he had left behind."
The sixth one said:
"My husband, when he eats, devours everything;
when he drinks, drains every drop;
when he lies down, curls up alone;
and he never extends his hand
to know my sorrow."
The seventh one said:
"My husband is completely impotent—
or utterly dense—
wholly inept;
every affliction in the world is found in him:
he would fracture your head or break your bone,
or do both to you together."
The eighth one said:
"My husband's touch is the touch of a hare,
and his scent is the fragrance of wild lavender."
The ninth one said:
"My husband has a lofty pillar,
a long sword-belt,
an abundance of hearth-ashes,
and his house is close to the gathering hall."
The tenth one said:
"My husband is Malik,
and what a man is Malik!
Malik is far better than that;
he possesses camels that have many resting grounds
but few grazing pastures;
whenever they hear the strumming of the lute,
they are certain they are destined to be slaughtered."
The eleventh one said:
"My husband is Abu Zar',
and what a man was Abu Zar'!
He made my ears swing with ornaments,
filled my upper arms with fat,
and made me feel so cherished
that I became delighted with myself;
he found me among owners of a few sheep in a desolate ravine,
and brought me among owners of neighing horses, groaning camels, threshers, and purifiers of grain;
in his presence, I speak and am never reproached;
I sleep late into the morning,
and drink until my thirst is fully quenched.
As for the mother of Abu Zar'—
what a woman was the mother of Abu Zar'!
Her provisions were vast and bountiful,
and her house was spacious.
As for the son of Abu Zar'—
what a youth was the son of Abu Zar'!
His bed was like a peeled palm branch,
and he could be sated by the foreleg of a four-month-old kid.
As for the daughter of Abu Zar'—
what a daughter was the daughter of Abu Zar'!
She was obedient to her father,
obedient to her mother,
filling out her dress gracefully,
and the envy of her fellow wives.
As for the maidservant of Abu Zar'—
what a maidservant was the maidservant of Abu Zar'!
She did not spread our conversations abroad,
she did not squander our provisions,
nor did she leave our house cluttered with refuse."
She said:
"Abu Zar' went forth when the milk-skins were being churned,
and he met a woman who had two sons like leopards,
playing beneath her waist with two pomegranates;
so he divorced me and married her.
After him, I married a noble chieftain:
he rode a swift steed,
held a Khatti spear,
brought back to me an abundance of grazing livestock,
and gave me a pair of every type of animal,
saying:
'Eat, Umm Zar', and provide for your family.'
Yet, if I were to gather everything he gave me,
it would not fill the smallest vessel of Abu Zar'."
'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
"Then the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said to me:
'I am to you as Abu Zar' was to Umm Zar'.'"
This hadith is among the narrations concerning the Prophet's nighttime conversation, peace be upon him,
with some of his wives,
showing warm companionship and kindness.
This is an example of good companionship, cheerful disposition,
and frustrating the designs of Satan.
For pleasant conversation, humorous anecdotes, and entertaining tales
are things through which souls find relaxation,
hearts are comforted,
and mutual affection is fostered;
and all of this is among the objectives of the sacred law.
This lengthy account, narrated by 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, to the Prophet, peace be upon him,
regarding those women and the report each gave of her husband,
while the Prophet, peace be upon him, listened attentively out of gracious companionship and kindness,
mentions that eleven women assembled in a single gathering
and pledged to conceal nothing about their husbands,
whether by way of praise or blame.
Some of them mentioned their husbands with praise,
while others spoke of them with reproach.
The first woman said, describing her husband:
"My husband is like the meat of an emaciated camel"—
meaning that he is like camel meat that is extremely lean and worthless—
"placed upon the summit of a mountain."
And this mountain is not smooth or easy to climb,
because it is filled with rugged rocks;
nor is the meat fat and desirable so that it would be carried down—
that is, worth enduring hardship to retrieve.
She is completely dissatisfied,
seeing him as unworthy of any exertion to reach;
she is thoroughly displeased with her husband
due to his ill character and harsh disposition.
She likens him to camel meat
that the soul naturally finds unappetizing,
and she likens his poor temperament to a rugged mountain:
would that he were at least accessible despite his worthlessness!
Rather, he is atop a mountain whose ascent is treacherous,
and at the same time,
he is not worth enduring hardships
in order to attain him.
The second woman said:
"My husband—I will not spread his news abroad"—
meaning: I will not disclose or broadcast his traits and affairs;
"for I fear that I will leave nothing unsaid"—
meaning: I fear that if I begin describing him,
I will be unable to stop until I have laid bare every single thing,
because of how extensive and numerous they are,
referring to the abundance of his defects and vices;
thus I could never finish detailing them:
"if I mention him, I must mention his prominent knots and hidden flaws."
The original meaning of 'ajar refers to the swelling of veins in the neck,
while bajar refers to the protrusion of the navel;
so it is as if she said he possesses both visible and hidden faults:
she used 'ajar as a metaphor for the apparent defects,
which are like bulging veins,
while he also has hidden faults known only to a wife,
which she symbolized by bajar,
representing a protruding navel.
The third woman said:
"My husband is a towering lanky man"—
he is excessively tall,
and the intended meaning
is that he has nothing going for him except sheer height devoid of benefit;
"if I speak, I am divorced,
and if I remain silent, I am left in suspense"—
meaning that if she speaks out and he hears of it,
he will divorce her,
but if she stays silent about his defects,
she remains with him like a woman left in limbo:
neither enjoying the rights of a wife nor granted the freedom of a divorcee.
The fourth woman said:
"My husband is like the night of Tihamah"—
meaning that there is no harm in him,
but rather comfort and pleasant living, just like a night in Tihamah:
delightful and temperate,
having neither excessive heat nor biting cold;
and Tihamah
is the coastal plain along the Red Sea on the Arabian peninsula;
"bringing neither fear nor weariness"—
meaning: I do not fear him due to his noble character,
nor does he tire of me or find me burdensome so as to weary of my company;
nor is he ill-mannered
such that I would grow weary of living with him.
The fifth woman said:
"My husband, when he enters, is a leopard;
when he goes out, he is a lion"—
meaning that whenever he enters the house,
he is like a leopard in sleeping often,
intending that he sleeps soundly
and he overlooks domestic shortcomings that I am bound to rectify,
or he turns a blind eye to monitoring what has gone from his goods and wealth in his home and what remains,
never holding her to account for little or much.
And whenever he is outside the home,
he is like a lion in his courage, strength, and fierce resolve.
She means that he is gentle with her,
while being brave, formidable, and fierce outside the home.
"And he never asks about what he entrusted"—
meaning he does not question her about the wealth and provisions he left at home, out of his absolute generosity.
And the sixth woman said:
"My husband, when he eats, devours everything indiscriminately"—
meaning that he eats gluttonously,
leaving nothing of the food behind.
For 'devouring indiscriminately' regarding food
means eating excessively while mixing all kinds of dishes together
until nothing of them remains.
"And when he drinks, he drains it to the last drop"—
meaning he is one who leaves nothing in the vessel.
The term *ishtifāf* (draining completely) is derived from *shufāfah*,
which refers to whatever dregs remain in the vessel of a drink.
"And when he sleeps, he wraps himself up alone"—
meaning he rolls himself up in his garments alone in a corner of the house, withdrawing completely from her,
leaving her dejected because of that.
"And he does not insert his palm to feel my grief"—
meaning he does not slip his hand beneath my garment
to sense the sorrow that I feel,
and that is due to his total lack of care and closeness to her;
for he neither touches her, nor treats her gently, nor converses with her at night,
nor does he fulfill her marital desire,
nor can she confide her anguish and grief to him.
Thus, in her censure of him, she combined meanness and miserliness,
poor companionship toward his family,
and a lack of desire for intimacy,
alongside immense gluttony for food and drink;
and this was the ultimate form of disparagement among the Arabs.
And the seventh woman said:
"My husband is *ghayāyā'*"—
meaning he is obscured by deep ignorance,
derived from *al-ghayy*, which signifies ruin and frustration;
or she said *'ayāyā'*,
derived from *al-'iyy*, which means impotence and utter incapacity.
It is also said that it means an impotent man
who is unable to engage in sexual intercourse with women
and is utterly incapable of it;
or it means the foolish, dim-witted one;
and it is said to mean the one who is incapable of speaking,
such that his lips remain locked together.
"Every ailment belongs to him"—
meaning every ailment dispersed throughout mankind,
that is, every shortcoming,
has gathered in him.
"He would fracture your skull, or break your bones,
or inflict both upon you"—
meaning that if she were to joke with him,
he would fracture her head;
and if she angered him,
he would break one of her limbs,
or lacerate her skin,
or combine all of that:
beating, wounding,
fracturing a bone, and hurtful speech.
And the eighth woman said:
"My husband's touch is as soft as the touch of a hare,
and his scent is as fragrant as the scent of *zarnab*."
She described him as having smooth skin,
like the softness of a hare's fur.
It is also said that her words "the touch of a hare"
signify a gentle demeanor and noble character,
and that he possesses a pleasant sweat
due to his cleanliness and use of perfume.
And *zarnab* is a type of perfume,
or a sweet-smelling plant.
And the ninth woman said:
"My husband has a tall tent-pole"—
which is the central pole used to support the tent,
meaning that the abode he dwells in
has high pillars,
so that guests and those in need can easily see it.
It is also said that she intended by "a tall tent-pole"
to describe his nobility and exalted renown;
that is, his household has prestigious lineage.
"Long is his sword-belt"—meaning he is tall in stature;
"vast is his ash-heap"—
because his fire is never extinguished,
so that guests may be guided by it,
and thus its ashes become abundant;
and this indicates his boundless generosity.
"His house is close to the assembly hall"—
and *al-nādī* is the gathering place of the people,
meaning that whenever his people consult one another on a matter,
they rely upon his counsel.
And it is said:
she described him as possessing generosity and leadership,
for no one resides close to the assembly hall
except someone who possesses such qualities,
because guests head straight for the assembly hall,
and because those sitting in the assembly
obtain whatever provisions they need
for their gathering from a house nearby,
whereas the ignoble stay far away from the assembly.
And the tenth woman said:
"My husband is Mālik,
and what a man is Mālik!
Mālik is far better than that!"
And this is an exaltation of her husband;
his name was Mālik,
and he is far greater than any praise she could describe him with.
"He possesses camels that often kneel around the camp,
meaning he owns camels that mostly stay in their resting places,
which is the place where they kneel,
"and seldom go out to pasture"—
meaning he does not send many of them out to graze,
because he is always prepared for guests,
so that he can slaughter from them for them whenever they arrive,
and this proves his generosity.
"Whenever they hear the sound of the lute,
they are certain that they are doomed"—
meaning whenever the camels hear the sound of the lute,
played out of his joy at the arrival of guests,
the camels know that they are destined for slaughter,
and will be butchered to feed them.
And the *mizhar*
is an instrument of music and entertainment;
she meant that her husband had accustomed his camels that whenever guests arrived,
he would welcome them with musical instruments
and slaughter from those camels for them.
And the eleventh woman said—
and she is Umm Zar'
'Ātikah bint Ukaymil ibn Sā'idah al-Yamāniyyah:
"My husband is Abū Zar',
meaning his kunyah was Abū Zar',
"and what a man is Abū Zar'!
She intended by this to glorify him.
"He adorned my ears with swinging ornaments"—
meaning he filled my ears with jewelry,
"and filled the fat of my upper arms"—
and the upper arm (*'adud*) is what lies between the elbow and the shoulder,
and the meaning is: he fattened me and filled my body with fat and flesh through abundant food;
she did not mean the upper arms exclusively,
but rather, when they grow plump, the rest of the body grows plump as well.
And she said:
"He brought me delight, and so I felt delighted with myself"—
meaning he honored me in my own eyes,
so I became noble in my own estimation.
"He found me among people of a few sheep in Shiqq"—
meaning that her family were mere owners of sheep,
possessing neither camels nor horses,
so they were not wealthy,
for the Arabs did not hold owners of sheep in high regard,
but rather regarded owners of horses and camels;
and they lived in a place named Shiqq,
or the intended meaning is a narrow mountain ravine,
due to their small numbers and the meager size of their flock,
for *shiqq al-jabal* means the side of a mountain;
and it is also said to mean: he found me in hardship, severe distress, and strain of life.
She said:
"Then he placed me among owners of neighing horses and murmuring camels"—
*ṣahīl* is the neighing of horses,
and *aṭīṭ* is the sound of camels,
and the meaning is: he placed her among the owners of horses and camels,
and her words:
"and threshers and grain-purifiers"—
meaning threshing the crop so that the grain emerges from the ears,
and purifying the food,
by removing the chaff and the like that is mixed with it;
and the meaning is
that he transferred her from the hardship and toil of life
to vast wealth consisting of horses, camels, and fertile crops.
And her words:
"So in his presence, I speak and am never rebuked"—
meaning my words are never deemed ugly, nor are they rejected;
"and I sleep into the morning"—
meaning I sleep until late morning,
because she had servants who carried out the household chores for her;
"and I drink until I leave off drinking"—
meaning I drink until I abandon the drink out of total quench,
with nothing interrupting my drink.
Then the woman praised the mother of her husband, Abū Zar',
saying:
"The mother of Abū Zar',
and what a woman is the mother of Abū Zar'!
Her storage bags are enormous"—
*'ukūm* are the large containers in which provisions and goods are gathered,
and *radāḥ* means vast and full,
"and her house is spacious"—
meaning her home is vast and large.
Then she praised the son of Abū Zar',
saying:
"His sleeping place is like a stripped palm branch"—
meaning his bed is slender like a peeled palm frond,
intending that his physique resembles a drawn sword in its slender elegance and light frame;
and she says:
"and the arm of a four-month-old kid satisfies his hunger"—
and *al-jafrah* is a young female goat that has reached four months of age,
and her intended meaning
is that he eats very little,
and the Arabs praise this quality.
Then the woman praised the daughter of Abū Zar',
She said:
"Obedient to her father and obedient to her mother,"
meaning she is dutiful to both her parents,
never disobeying their command;
"and filling her garment,"
meaning she fills out her dress due to her plumpness;
"and the envy of her female neighbor,"
meaning she arouses the jealousy of her co-wife
because of her beauty, good manners, and chastity.
Then she praised the maidservant of Abu Zar',
saying:
"She does not spread our secrets abroad,"
meaning she does not broadcast or disclose their private talk and secrets;
"nor does she squander our provisions,"
meaning she does not ruin their food,
nor does she scatter it or carry it off—
the intent being to describe her trustworthiness;
"nor does she leave our house full of nests,"
meaning she does not leave rubbish scattered about the house like birds' nests,
but rather keeps the house in order,
taking meticulous care of its cleanliness.
Then Umm Zar' mentioned the change that occurred in her life with Abu Zar'
when he saw another woman,
married her, and divorced Umm Zar'.
She said:
"Abu Zar' went out when the milk-skins were being churned"—
and the *awtāb* are milk vessels
that are shaken to extract butter,
by which she meant that the time he went out
was during a season of plenty and the finest of spring.
She said:
"He met a woman who had two sons like two cheetahs with her."
The reason she described the fine quality of her two sons
was to point out why Abu Zar' chose to marry her,
for the Arabs were eager for their children to come
from noble women of excellent physical and moral constitution.
And her saying:
"Playing beneath her waist with two pomegranates,"
meaning they were moving about below her waist
and playing with the woman's small breasts,
which resembled two pomegranates in their beauty.
She said:
"So he divorced me and married her."
Then she says:
"After him, I married a noble man,"
meaning: after Abu Zar', I married a man of high status,
"who rode a spirited steed,"
meaning he pressed forward in his journey tirelessly and without pause,
"and took up a Khatti spear,"
the *khattī* being a spear
attributed to a place in Yemen
from which such spears are brought;
"and he brought me abundant livestock,"
meaning he brought her a great many camels,
for *al-thariyy* means an abundance of wealth and the like,
and from it comes *tharwah*, meaning great wealth;
and her saying:
"and gave me a pair of every kind of grazing beast that returned at evening,"
meaning he would give her, from everything
that returned at dusk—camels, cattle, sheep, and servants—a pair,
meaning two of each,
or it is possible she meant by a "pair"
a category or variety.
"And he said:
'Eat, Umm Zar', and provide for your family,'"
meaning: maintain ties with your kin, treat them well, and be generous to them with food.
She said:
"Yet, if I were to gather everything he gave me,
it would not fill the smallest vessel of Abu Zar'!"
meaning: all the honors he bestowed upon me
do not equal anything of the generous treatment of Abu Zar'.
For she described this second husband of hers
as possessing intrinsic nobility, wealth, courage,
virtue, and generosity,
since he permitted her to consume whatever she wished of his wealth
and gift whatever she wished to her family, out of utmost honor for her;
yet despite that, he never held the place of Abu Zar' in her heart,
and his abundance was lesser than the little of Abu Zar',
notwithstanding Abu Zar's ultimate mistreatment of her in divorcing her.
Yet her love for him made all other husbands distasteful to her,
and as it is said:
"Love belongs only to the first beloved."
And after the Mother of the Believers, 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), narrated
this story to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him),
he said to her:
"I am to you as Abu Zar' was to Umm Zar'."
And it was added in one narration:
"Except that I will not divorce you,"
meaning: my conduct with you in generosity and love
is just as Abu Zar's conduct was toward Umm Zar'.
This was from his humility (peace be upon him)
and the excellence of his character;
otherwise, he (peace be upon him)
is not to be compared to anyone else;
rather, he and his praiseworthy traits and character are the ones to be emulated.
Derived from this hadith is:
the permissibility of mentioning the virtues of women to men
when they are unnamed and unknown,
as opposed to specific, known women.
In it is also the permissibility of a man informing
his wife of his love for her.
In it also is the virtue of 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her),
and the vastness of her retention and memory
despite her young age;
and the Prophet's (peace be upon him) attentive listening to her
to console and delight her heart.
This hadith
contains numerous points of benefit
that would take too long to mention here,
and perhaps we will dedicate a separate series to it, by Allah's leave.
More of this hadith remains to be discussed, if Allah wills.
And Allah knows best.
May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad,
and upon his family and all his Companions.