1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,399
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

2
00:00:03,399 --> 00:00:13,199
Types of Husbands in the Hadith of Umm Zar'

3
00:00:13,199 --> 00:00:23,399
"My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!"

4
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:29,800
The tenth woman heard the women before her praise their husbands for their generosity and openhandedness,

5
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,500
especially the ninth woman.

6
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,600
So she wanted to boast of her husband's generosity,

7
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,399
elevate his status, and extol him.

8
00:00:38,399 --> 00:00:40,399
Thus, she proudly said:

9
00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:43,399
"My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!

10
00:00:43,399 --> 00:00:46,100
Malik is far better than that!

11
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:49,100
He possesses many camels that stay couched in his courtyard,

12
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:51,200
and rarely go out to pasture.

13
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,000
When they hear the sound of the lute,

14
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,570
they know with certainty that they are doomed to slaughter."

15
00:00:57,570 --> 00:01:00,969
Abu al-'Abbas al-Qurtubi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

16
00:01:00,969 --> 00:01:02,670
"And the tenth woman's saying:

17
00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:05,870
'My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!'

18
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:08,269
This is an expression of great veneration for her husband,

19
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,069
similar to the words of Allah, the Exalted:

20
00:01:11,069 --> 00:01:14,769
“And those on the right hand; what of those on the right hand?” (56:27)

21
00:01:14,769 --> 00:01:16,069
and His saying:

22
00:01:16,069 --> 00:01:18,469
﴾The Inevitable Reality—﴿

23
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:21,370
﴾What is the Inevitable Reality?﴿

24
00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:23,200
And her saying:

25
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,599
'Malik is far better than that!'

26
00:01:25,599 --> 00:01:28,500
means: he is too exalted for me to adequately describe him,

27
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,599
owing to his renowned virtue and abundant benevolence."

28
00:01:31,599 --> 00:01:34,760
Ibn al-Mulaqqin, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

29
00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:37,959
"It carries the sense of veneration and awe.

30
00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:39,459
Its literal implication is:

31
00:01:39,459 --> 00:01:41,959
'What a man is Malik, and what is he like?'

32
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,159
Meaning: what greatness could possibly describe him?

33
00:01:44,159 --> 00:01:47,560
How great, how magnificent, and how generous he is!

34
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,959
And her saying, 'Malik is far better than that'

35
00:01:50,959 --> 00:01:52,959
is an added degree of praise,

36
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:55,560
clarifying some of the preceding vagueness,

37
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,260
showing that he is far superior to whatever praise could be pointed out

38
00:01:58,260 --> 00:02:00,659
by way of commendation or good mention,

39
00:02:00,659 --> 00:02:03,159
or beyond what I personally believe him to possess

40
00:02:03,159 --> 00:02:06,790
of nobility and renown."

41
00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:09,289
When you reflect, dear husband,

42
00:02:09,289 --> 00:02:11,689
on this woman's lavish praise,

43
00:02:11,689 --> 00:02:14,990
you realize that she loved him immensely,

44
00:02:14,990 --> 00:02:17,389
took great pride in him among women,

45
00:02:17,389 --> 00:02:20,219
and venerated and commended him.

46
00:02:20,219 --> 00:02:22,219
Yet you might wonder:

47
00:02:22,219 --> 00:02:24,020
What made her love him

48
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:26,020
with such profound devotion,

49
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:28,719
even though in her praise here

50
00:02:28,719 --> 00:02:30,020
she did not mention a single thing

51
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:33,120
regarding his personal conduct with her?

52
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,419
Indeed, such extravagant praise

53
00:02:35,419 --> 00:02:37,719
conceals behind it exemplary treatment

54
00:02:37,719 --> 00:02:39,620
that she received from her husband.

55
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:42,319
That treatment was so remarkable

56
00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:45,120
that she kept it hidden from them,

57
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,020
contenting herself with praising him

58
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,849
solely in his dealings with people.

59
00:02:49,849 --> 00:02:52,250
This shows you, my dear brother,

60
00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,750
the profound intelligence of this woman,

61
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,550
who had pledged alongside the other women

62
00:02:57,550 --> 00:03:01,650
not to conceal anything about their husbands.

63
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:04,050
Yet she highlighted only one facet,

64
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,449
praising it in an exaggerated manner,

65
00:03:07,449 --> 00:03:09,650
in order to divert them from asking about the intimate details

66
00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,750
she did not wish to disclose

67
00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:14,469
regarding his private conduct with her.

68
00:03:14,469 --> 00:03:16,069
She directed their attention entirely

69
00:03:16,069 --> 00:03:18,770
toward a single aspect of his life,

70
00:03:18,770 --> 00:03:20,969
namely his hospitality,

71
00:03:20,969 --> 00:03:22,270
elaborating upon it

72
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:25,199
with consummate mastery.

73
00:03:25,199 --> 00:03:28,099
Know this, my noble brother,

74
00:03:28,099 --> 00:03:30,199
that a woman possesses the ability

75
00:03:31,199 --> 00:03:34,400
to reshape perception

76
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,199
or deflect attention away from the truth

77
00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:38,099
in a manner that eludes

78
00:03:38,099 --> 00:03:39,800
even the shrewdest of men,

79
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,669
all without ever uttering a lie.

80
00:03:42,669 --> 00:03:45,569
If you wish to understand this reality,

81
00:03:45,569 --> 00:03:47,669
reflect with me upon this verse,

82
00:03:47,669 --> 00:03:51,430
and the story I will cite after it.

83
00:03:51,430 --> 00:03:52,830
As for the verse,

84
00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:55,330
it is found in the story of Yusuf, peace be upon him,

85
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:57,430
with the wife of the 'Aziz.

86
00:03:57,430 --> 00:03:59,129
Allah, the Exalted, said:

87
00:03:59,129 --> 00:04:00,530
﴾And they both raced to the door,﴿

88
00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:03,530
“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)

89
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:06,830
﴾and they found her husband at the door.﴿

90
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:11,129
“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)

91
00:04:11,129 --> 00:04:15,620
“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)

92
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:19,720
She did not accuse Yusuf, peace be upon him, explicitly,

93
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,720
but rather gave her husband the distinct impression

94
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,519
that Yusuf, peace be upon him,

95
00:04:23,519 --> 00:04:25,720
had intended harm against her.

96
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,120
Yet Allah thwarted her plot and exposed her,

97
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,519
and her husband realized

98
00:04:30,519 --> 00:04:32,519
that she was manipulating words

99
00:04:32,519 --> 00:04:34,720
to distort the truth.

100
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,519
Allah, the Exalted, said:

101
00:04:36,519 --> 00:04:40,420
“So when he saw his shirt torn from behind, he said: Lo! this is of the guile of you women. Lo! the guile of you is very great.” (12:28)

102
00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:44,120
“So when he saw his shirt torn from behind, he said: Lo! this is of the guile of you women. Lo! the guile of you is very great.” (12:28)

103
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,410
﴾Indeed, it is of your cunning; surely your cunning is great.﴿

104
00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:49,910
And do not think, dear husband,

105
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:52,310
that a woman manipulates words

106
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:54,110
only with men;

107
00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:56,709
she does so even with other women.

108
00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:58,610
Consider the words of Allah, the Exalted,

109
00:04:58,610 --> 00:05:02,410
later in the story of Yusuf and the wife of the 'Aziz:

110
00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,810
“And women in the city said: The ruler's wife is asking of her slave-boy an ill-deed. Indeed he has smitten her to the heart with love. We behold her in plain aberration.” (12:30)

111
00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:06,709
﴾The wife of the 'Aziz is seducing﴿

112
00:05:06,709 --> 00:05:09,009
﴾her young slave;﴿

113
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,410
﴾he has passionately infatuated her with love.﴿

114
00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:15,509
“And women in the city said: The ruler's wife is asking of her slave-boy an ill-deed. Indeed he has smitten her to the heart with love. We behold her in plain aberration.” (12:30)

115
00:05:15,509 --> 00:05:18,209
﴾So when she heard of their malicious talk,﴿

116
00:05:18,209 --> 00:05:20,990
﴾she sent for them.﴿

117
00:05:20,990 --> 00:05:22,589
Here the question arises:

118
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,889
Can plotting actually be heard?

119
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:27,889
What is heard are spoken words and reports.

120
00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:31,490
Yet Allah called their talk "plotting"

121
00:05:31,490 --> 00:05:35,790
because they intended something beyond what they spoke;

122
00:05:35,790 --> 00:05:38,089
they merely wanted to gaze upon this man

123
00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:40,889
who had infatuated her with love.

124
00:05:40,889 --> 00:05:43,889
And so, when she heard what they were saying,

125
00:05:43,889 --> 00:05:47,610
she realized they were scheming against her.

126
00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:49,009
As for the story,

127
00:05:49,009 --> 00:05:54,009
it was an incident that took place before the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

128
00:05:54,009 --> 00:05:55,509
in which a woman spoke

129
00:05:55,509 --> 00:05:57,910
truthful words about her husband

130
00:05:57,910 --> 00:06:00,300
in her complaint against him.

131
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,699
On the authority of Abu Sa'id, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

132
00:06:03,699 --> 00:06:07,300
A woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him,

133
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,800
while we were with him,

134
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,100
and said:

135
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,899
"O Messenger of Allah,

136
00:06:11,899 --> 00:06:14,300
my husband, Safwan ibn al-Mu'attal,

137
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,500
beats me when I pray,

138
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,899
forces me to break my fast when I fast,

139
00:06:18,899 --> 00:06:21,000
and does not pray the Fajr prayer

140
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,500
until the sun has risen."

141
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,500
He said:

142
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,500
And Safwan was present with him.

143
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,500
He said:

144
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,899
So he asked him about what she said.

145
00:06:29,899 --> 00:06:31,100
Safwan replied:

146
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,699
"O Messenger of Allah,

147
00:06:32,699 --> 00:06:36,300
as for her saying that I beat her when she prays,

148
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:40,300
she recites two long surahs while praying, though I forbade her."

149
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,300
The Prophet said:

150
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,500
He said:

151
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:46,699
"Even if it were one surah, it would suffice the people."

152
00:06:46,699 --> 00:06:49,699
"And as for her saying that I force her to break her fast,

153
00:06:49,699 --> 00:06:52,199
she goes and fasts voluntarily,

154
00:06:52,199 --> 00:06:55,699
and I am a young man and cannot restrain myself."

155
00:06:55,899 --> 00:06:59,899
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

156
00:06:59,899 --> 00:07:03,899
"No woman may fast voluntarily except with her husband's permission."

157
00:07:03,899 --> 00:07:05,899
Safwan continued, "And as for her saying

158
00:07:05,899 --> 00:07:08,899
that I do not pray until the sun has risen,

159
00:07:08,899 --> 00:07:12,899
we belong to a household well-known for that trait;

160
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:16,899
we hardly ever wake up until the sun has already risen."

161
00:07:16,899 --> 00:07:17,899
The Prophet said:

162
00:07:17,899 --> 00:07:20,899
"When you wake up, perform your prayer."

163
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,930
Recorded by Abu Dawud.

164
00:07:22,930 --> 00:07:24,930
She did not lie about him,

165
00:07:25,129 --> 00:07:27,129
but she obscured the full context

166
00:07:27,129 --> 00:07:29,129
using carefully framed words,

167
00:07:29,129 --> 00:07:31,129
making it seem that the fault was entirely her husband's.

168
00:07:31,129 --> 00:07:35,259
The tenth woman praised her husband for his generosity,

169
00:07:35,259 --> 00:07:38,259
describing his manner of honoring guests

170
00:07:38,259 --> 00:07:41,259
and his readiness for them before they even arrived.

171
00:07:41,259 --> 00:07:42,259
She said:

172
00:07:42,259 --> 00:07:45,259
"He possesses many camels that stay couched in his courtyard,

173
00:07:45,259 --> 00:07:47,259
and rarely go out to pasture.

174
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,259
When they hear the sound of the lute,

175
00:07:50,259 --> 00:07:53,740
they know with certainty that they are doomed to slaughter."

176
00:07:53,939 --> 00:07:56,939
Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

177
00:07:56,939 --> 00:07:57,939
"She means:

178
00:07:57,939 --> 00:08:02,939
he rarely sends them out to graze during the day,

179
00:08:02,939 --> 00:08:05,939
but rather keeps them couched right in his courtyard,

180
00:08:05,939 --> 00:08:07,939
so that whenever a guest arrives,

181
00:08:07,939 --> 00:08:10,939
the camels are never far away,

182
00:08:10,939 --> 00:08:12,939
but readily at hand,

183
00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:15,939
so he can entertain the guest with their milk and meat."

184
00:08:15,939 --> 00:08:20,100
Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

185
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:24,300
"This woman described her husband as possessing generosity and abundant hospitality,

186
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:26,300
readiness to receive guests,

187
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:31,290
and exceeding all limits in honoring and caring for them."

188
00:08:31,290 --> 00:08:35,289
The Arabs used to vie with one another in honoring guests,

189
00:08:35,289 --> 00:08:37,289
because they viewed it as one of the finest virtues

190
00:08:37,289 --> 00:08:40,389
for which a man is commended.

191
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:42,389
If you reflect, my noble brother,

192
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:45,389
you will find that more than one woman

193
00:08:45,389 --> 00:08:47,389
among those gathered in that assembly

194
00:08:47,389 --> 00:08:50,389
described her husband as generous,

195
00:08:50,389 --> 00:08:52,389
but the manner of honoring guests

196
00:08:52,389 --> 00:08:54,389
and preparing for them

197
00:08:54,389 --> 00:08:57,389
varies from one man to another.

198
00:08:57,389 --> 00:09:00,389
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, praised

199
00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:02,389
generosity, saying:

200
00:09:02,389 --> 00:09:05,389
"Indeed, Allah is generous and loves generosity;

201
00:09:05,389 --> 00:09:08,389
He is magnanimous and loves magnanimity;

202
00:09:08,389 --> 00:09:10,389
He loves noble character,

203
00:09:10,389 --> 00:09:13,389
and dislikes petty matters."

204
00:09:13,389 --> 00:09:16,549
Recorded by al-Khara'iti in Makarim al-Akhlaq.

205
00:09:16,549 --> 00:09:18,549
And Abu Hatim

206
00:09:18,549 --> 00:09:21,549
al-Busti, may Allah have mercy on him, spoke of generosity

207
00:09:21,549 --> 00:09:24,549
in his book *Rawdat al-'Uqala'*

208
00:09:24,549 --> 00:09:26,549
*wa Nuzhat al-Fudala'*,

209
00:09:26,549 --> 00:09:28,549
at great length,

210
00:09:28,549 --> 00:09:30,740
from which these are selected excerpts:

211
00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:33,740
"Those seasoned by worldly experience,

212
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,740
the people of religious virtue,

213
00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:37,740
and those devoted to noble deeds all agree

214
00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:39,740
that the finest possession a man can acquire

215
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,740
for himself in this world,

216
00:09:41,740 --> 00:09:44,740
and the most sublime treasure he can store for the Hereafter,

217
00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:46,740
is adhering to generosity.

218
00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:49,740
For generosity ennobles one's legacy

219
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:51,740
and elevates one's standing.

220
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:54,120
The generous person is never vindictive,

221
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,120
nor envious,

222
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,120
nor gloating,

223
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,120
nor oppressive,

224
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,120
nor heedless,

225
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,120
nor frivolous,

226
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,120
nor wicked,

227
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:04,120
nor boastful,

228
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,120
nor deceitful,

229
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,120
nor fickle.

230
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,120
He never breaks his bonds of affection,

231
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,120
nor harms his brethren,

232
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,120
nor neglects loyalty,

233
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,120
nor turns cold in love.

234
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,120
He gives to those from whom he expects nothing,

235
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,120
reassures those who fear no harm from him,

236
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,120
pardons when he possesses the power to retaliate,

237
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,120
and maintains ties with those who cut him off.

238
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,509
The generous man leaves a praiseworthy impact in this life

239
00:10:26,509 --> 00:10:29,509
and offers deeds pleasing to Allah in the Hereafter.

240
00:10:29,509 --> 00:10:31,509
He is beloved by both the near and the far,

241
00:10:31,509 --> 00:10:34,509
and embraced alike by the discontented and the pleased.

242
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,509
Enemies and the vile depart from his company,

243
00:10:37,509 --> 00:10:41,509
while the wise and noble remain his companions."

244
00:10:41,509 --> 00:10:45,600
If these are the traits of the generous person

245
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,600
toward people in general,

246
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,600
how then should he be toward his wife—

247
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,600
whom he chose to be

248
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,600
his life's companion,

249
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,600
the one who aids him in honoring guests,

250
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,600
and who speaks profusely in praise of her husband's generosity?

251
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:03,080
My dear, noble husband,

252
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:06,080
where do you stand when it comes to generosity toward your wife?

253
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,080
To what degree is she satisfied

254
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,080
with your spending on her,

255
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,080
and does she truly consider you generous?

256
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,879
We shall continue in our next gathering,

257
00:11:15,879 --> 00:11:17,879
if Allah wills,

258
00:11:17,879 --> 00:11:20,879
and all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds.