In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Types of Husbands in the Hadith of Umm Zar'
"My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!"
The tenth woman heard the women before her praise their husbands for their generosity and openhandedness,
especially the ninth woman.
So she wanted to boast of her husband's generosity,
elevate his status, and extol him.
Thus, she proudly said:
"My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!
Malik is far better than that!
He possesses many camels that stay couched in his courtyard,
and rarely go out to pasture.
When they hear the sound of the lute,
they know with certainty that they are doomed to slaughter."
Abu al-'Abbas al-Qurtubi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"And the tenth woman's saying:
'My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!'
This is an expression of great veneration for her husband,
similar to the words of Allah, the Exalted:
“And those on the right hand; what of those on the right hand?” (56:27)
and His saying:
﴾The Inevitable Reality—﴿
﴾What is the Inevitable Reality?﴿
And her saying:
'Malik is far better than that!'
means: he is too exalted for me to adequately describe him,
owing to his renowned virtue and abundant benevolence."
Ibn al-Mulaqqin, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"It carries the sense of veneration and awe.
Its literal implication is:
'What a man is Malik, and what is he like?'
Meaning: what greatness could possibly describe him?
How great, how magnificent, and how generous he is!
And her saying, 'Malik is far better than that'
is an added degree of praise,
clarifying some of the preceding vagueness,
showing that he is far superior to whatever praise could be pointed out
by way of commendation or good mention,
or beyond what I personally believe him to possess
of nobility and renown."
When you reflect, dear husband,
on this woman's lavish praise,
you realize that she loved him immensely,
took great pride in him among women,
and venerated and commended him.
Yet you might wonder:
What made her love him
with such profound devotion,
even though in her praise here
she did not mention a single thing
regarding his personal conduct with her?
Indeed, such extravagant praise
conceals behind it exemplary treatment
that she received from her husband.
That treatment was so remarkable
that she kept it hidden from them,
contenting herself with praising him
solely in his dealings with people.
This shows you, my dear brother,
the profound intelligence of this woman,
who had pledged alongside the other women
not to conceal anything about their husbands.
Yet she highlighted only one facet,
praising it in an exaggerated manner,
in order to divert them from asking about the intimate details
she did not wish to disclose
regarding his private conduct with her.
She directed their attention entirely
toward a single aspect of his life,
namely his hospitality,
elaborating upon it
with consummate mastery.
Know this, my noble brother,
that a woman possesses the ability
to reshape perception
or deflect attention away from the truth
in a manner that eludes
even the shrewdest of men,
all without ever uttering a lie.
If you wish to understand this reality,
reflect with me upon this verse,
and the story I will cite after it.
As for the verse,
it is found in the story of Yusuf, peace be upon him,
with the wife of the 'Aziz.
Allah, the Exalted, said:
﴾And they both raced to the door,﴿
“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)
﴾and they found her husband at the door.﴿
“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)
“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)
She did not accuse Yusuf, peace be upon him, explicitly,
but rather gave her husband the distinct impression
that Yusuf, peace be upon him,
had intended harm against her.
Yet Allah thwarted her plot and exposed her,
and her husband realized
that she was manipulating words
to distort the truth.
Allah, the Exalted, said:
“So when he saw his shirt torn from behind, he said: Lo! this is of the guile of you women. Lo! the guile of you is very great.” (12:28)
“So when he saw his shirt torn from behind, he said: Lo! this is of the guile of you women. Lo! the guile of you is very great.” (12:28)
﴾Indeed, it is of your cunning; surely your cunning is great.﴿
And do not think, dear husband,
that a woman manipulates words
only with men;
she does so even with other women.
Consider the words of Allah, the Exalted,
later in the story of Yusuf and the wife of the 'Aziz:
“And women in the city said: The ruler's wife is asking of her slave-boy an ill-deed. Indeed he has smitten her to the heart with love. We behold her in plain aberration.” (12:30)
﴾The wife of the 'Aziz is seducing﴿
﴾her young slave;﴿
﴾he has passionately infatuated her with love.﴿
“And women in the city said: The ruler's wife is asking of her slave-boy an ill-deed. Indeed he has smitten her to the heart with love. We behold her in plain aberration.” (12:30)
﴾So when she heard of their malicious talk,﴿
﴾she sent for them.﴿
Here the question arises:
Can plotting actually be heard?
What is heard are spoken words and reports.
Yet Allah called their talk "plotting"
because they intended something beyond what they spoke;
they merely wanted to gaze upon this man
who had infatuated her with love.
And so, when she heard what they were saying,
she realized they were scheming against her.
As for the story,
it was an incident that took place before the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
in which a woman spoke
truthful words about her husband
in her complaint against him.
On the authority of Abu Sa'id, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:
A woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him,
while we were with him,
and said:
"O Messenger of Allah,
my husband, Safwan ibn al-Mu'attal,
beats me when I pray,
forces me to break my fast when I fast,
and does not pray the Fajr prayer
until the sun has risen."
He said:
And Safwan was present with him.
He said:
So he asked him about what she said.
Safwan replied:
"O Messenger of Allah,
as for her saying that I beat her when she prays,
she recites two long surahs while praying, though I forbade her."
The Prophet said:
He said:
"Even if it were one surah, it would suffice the people."
"And as for her saying that I force her to break her fast,
she goes and fasts voluntarily,
and I am a young man and cannot restrain myself."
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
"No woman may fast voluntarily except with her husband's permission."
Safwan continued, "And as for her saying
that I do not pray until the sun has risen,
we belong to a household well-known for that trait;
we hardly ever wake up until the sun has already risen."
The Prophet said:
"When you wake up, perform your prayer."
Recorded by Abu Dawud.
She did not lie about him,
but she obscured the full context
using carefully framed words,
making it seem that the fault was entirely her husband's.
The tenth woman praised her husband for his generosity,
describing his manner of honoring guests
and his readiness for them before they even arrived.
She said:
"He possesses many camels that stay couched in his courtyard,
and rarely go out to pasture.
When they hear the sound of the lute,
they know with certainty that they are doomed to slaughter."
Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"She means:
he rarely sends them out to graze during the day,
but rather keeps them couched right in his courtyard,
so that whenever a guest arrives,
the camels are never far away,
but readily at hand,
so he can entertain the guest with their milk and meat."
Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"This woman described her husband as possessing generosity and abundant hospitality,
readiness to receive guests,
and exceeding all limits in honoring and caring for them."
The Arabs used to vie with one another in honoring guests,
because they viewed it as one of the finest virtues
for which a man is commended.
If you reflect, my noble brother,
you will find that more than one woman
among those gathered in that assembly
described her husband as generous,
but the manner of honoring guests
and preparing for them
varies from one man to another.
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, praised
generosity, saying:
"Indeed, Allah is generous and loves generosity;
He is magnanimous and loves magnanimity;
He loves noble character,
and dislikes petty matters."
Recorded by al-Khara'iti in Makarim al-Akhlaq.
And Abu Hatim
al-Busti, may Allah have mercy on him, spoke of generosity
in his book *Rawdat al-'Uqala'*
*wa Nuzhat al-Fudala'*,
at great length,
from which these are selected excerpts:
"Those seasoned by worldly experience,
the people of religious virtue,
and those devoted to noble deeds all agree
that the finest possession a man can acquire
for himself in this world,
and the most sublime treasure he can store for the Hereafter,
is adhering to generosity.
For generosity ennobles one's legacy
and elevates one's standing.
The generous person is never vindictive,
nor envious,
nor gloating,
nor oppressive,
nor heedless,
nor frivolous,
nor wicked,
nor boastful,
nor deceitful,
nor fickle.
He never breaks his bonds of affection,
nor harms his brethren,
nor neglects loyalty,
nor turns cold in love.
He gives to those from whom he expects nothing,
reassures those who fear no harm from him,
pardons when he possesses the power to retaliate,
and maintains ties with those who cut him off.
The generous man leaves a praiseworthy impact in this life
and offers deeds pleasing to Allah in the Hereafter.
He is beloved by both the near and the far,
and embraced alike by the discontented and the pleased.
Enemies and the vile depart from his company,
while the wise and noble remain his companions."
If these are the traits of the generous person
toward people in general,
how then should he be toward his wife—
whom he chose to be
his life's companion,
the one who aids him in honoring guests,
and who speaks profusely in praise of her husband's generosity?
My dear, noble husband,
where do you stand when it comes to generosity toward your wife?
To what degree is she satisfied
with your spending on her,
and does she truly consider you generous?
We shall continue in our next gathering,
if Allah wills,
and all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds.