WEBVTT

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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

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Types of Husbands in the Hadith of Umm Zar'

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"My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!"

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The tenth woman heard the women before her praise their husbands for their generosity and openhandedness,

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especially the ninth woman.

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So she wanted to boast of her husband's generosity,

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elevate his status, and extol him.

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Thus, she proudly said:

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"My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!

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Malik is far better than that!

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He possesses many camels that stay couched in his courtyard,

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and rarely go out to pasture.

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When they hear the sound of the lute,

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they know with certainty that they are doomed to slaughter."

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Abu al-'Abbas al-Qurtubi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"And the tenth woman's saying:

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'My husband is Malik; and what a man Malik is!'

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This is an expression of great veneration for her husband,

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similar to the words of Allah, the Exalted:

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“And those on the right hand; what of those on the right hand?” (56:27)

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and His saying:

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﴾The Inevitable Reality—﴿

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﴾What is the Inevitable Reality?﴿

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And her saying:

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'Malik is far better than that!'

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means: he is too exalted for me to adequately describe him,

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owing to his renowned virtue and abundant benevolence."

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Ibn al-Mulaqqin, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"It carries the sense of veneration and awe.

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Its literal implication is:

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'What a man is Malik, and what is he like?'

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Meaning: what greatness could possibly describe him?

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How great, how magnificent, and how generous he is!

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And her saying, 'Malik is far better than that'

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is an added degree of praise,

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clarifying some of the preceding vagueness,

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showing that he is far superior to whatever praise could be pointed out

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by way of commendation or good mention,

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or beyond what I personally believe him to possess

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of nobility and renown."

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When you reflect, dear husband,

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on this woman's lavish praise,

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you realize that she loved him immensely,

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took great pride in him among women,

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and venerated and commended him.

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Yet you might wonder:

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What made her love him

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with such profound devotion,

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even though in her praise here

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she did not mention a single thing

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regarding his personal conduct with her?

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Indeed, such extravagant praise

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conceals behind it exemplary treatment

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that she received from her husband.

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That treatment was so remarkable

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that she kept it hidden from them,

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contenting herself with praising him

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solely in his dealings with people.

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This shows you, my dear brother,

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the profound intelligence of this woman,

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who had pledged alongside the other women

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not to conceal anything about their husbands.

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Yet she highlighted only one facet,

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praising it in an exaggerated manner,

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in order to divert them from asking about the intimate details

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she did not wish to disclose

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regarding his private conduct with her.

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She directed their attention entirely

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toward a single aspect of his life,

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namely his hospitality,

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elaborating upon it

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with consummate mastery.

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Know this, my noble brother,

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that a woman possesses the ability

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to reshape perception

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or deflect attention away from the truth

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in a manner that eludes

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even the shrewdest of men,

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all without ever uttering a lie.

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If you wish to understand this reality,

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reflect with me upon this verse,

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and the story I will cite after it.

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As for the verse,

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it is found in the story of Yusuf, peace be upon him,

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with the wife of the 'Aziz.

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Allah, the Exalted, said:

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﴾And they both raced to the door,﴿

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“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)

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﴾and they found her husband at the door.﴿

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“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)

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“And they raced with one another to the door, and she tore his shirt from behind, and they met her lord and master at the door. She said: What shall be his reward, who wisheth evil to thy folk, save prison or a painful doom?” (12:25)

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She did not accuse Yusuf, peace be upon him, explicitly,

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but rather gave her husband the distinct impression

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that Yusuf, peace be upon him,

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had intended harm against her.

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Yet Allah thwarted her plot and exposed her,

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and her husband realized

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that she was manipulating words

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to distort the truth.

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Allah, the Exalted, said:

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“So when he saw his shirt torn from behind, he said: Lo! this is of the guile of you women. Lo! the guile of you is very great.” (12:28)

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“So when he saw his shirt torn from behind, he said: Lo! this is of the guile of you women. Lo! the guile of you is very great.” (12:28)

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﴾Indeed, it is of your cunning; surely your cunning is great.﴿

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And do not think, dear husband,

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that a woman manipulates words

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only with men;

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she does so even with other women.

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Consider the words of Allah, the Exalted,

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later in the story of Yusuf and the wife of the 'Aziz:

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“And women in the city said: The ruler's wife is asking of her slave-boy an ill-deed. Indeed he has smitten her to the heart with love. We behold her in plain aberration.” (12:30)

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﴾The wife of the 'Aziz is seducing﴿

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﴾her young slave;﴿

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﴾he has passionately infatuated her with love.﴿

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“And women in the city said: The ruler's wife is asking of her slave-boy an ill-deed. Indeed he has smitten her to the heart with love. We behold her in plain aberration.” (12:30)

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﴾So when she heard of their malicious talk,﴿

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﴾she sent for them.﴿

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Here the question arises:

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Can plotting actually be heard?

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What is heard are spoken words and reports.

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Yet Allah called their talk "plotting"

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because they intended something beyond what they spoke;

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they merely wanted to gaze upon this man

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who had infatuated her with love.

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And so, when she heard what they were saying,

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she realized they were scheming against her.

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As for the story,

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it was an incident that took place before the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

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in which a woman spoke

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truthful words about her husband

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in her complaint against him.

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On the authority of Abu Sa'id, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

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A woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him,

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while we were with him,

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and said:

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"O Messenger of Allah,

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my husband, Safwan ibn al-Mu'attal,

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beats me when I pray,

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forces me to break my fast when I fast,

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and does not pray the Fajr prayer

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until the sun has risen."

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He said:

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And Safwan was present with him.

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He said:

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So he asked him about what she said.

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Safwan replied:

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"O Messenger of Allah,

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as for her saying that I beat her when she prays,

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she recites two long surahs while praying, though I forbade her."

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The Prophet said:

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He said:

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"Even if it were one surah, it would suffice the people."

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"And as for her saying that I force her to break her fast,

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she goes and fasts voluntarily,

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and I am a young man and cannot restrain myself."

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Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

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"No woman may fast voluntarily except with her husband's permission."

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Safwan continued, "And as for her saying

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that I do not pray until the sun has risen,

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we belong to a household well-known for that trait;

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we hardly ever wake up until the sun has already risen."

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The Prophet said:

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"When you wake up, perform your prayer."

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Recorded by Abu Dawud.

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She did not lie about him,

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but she obscured the full context

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using carefully framed words,

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making it seem that the fault was entirely her husband's.

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The tenth woman praised her husband for his generosity,

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describing his manner of honoring guests

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and his readiness for them before they even arrived.

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She said:

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"He possesses many camels that stay couched in his courtyard,

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and rarely go out to pasture.

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When they hear the sound of the lute,

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they know with certainty that they are doomed to slaughter."

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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"She means:

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he rarely sends them out to graze during the day,

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but rather keeps them couched right in his courtyard,

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so that whenever a guest arrives,

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the camels are never far away,

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but readily at hand,

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so he can entertain the guest with their milk and meat."

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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"This woman described her husband as possessing generosity and abundant hospitality,

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readiness to receive guests,

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and exceeding all limits in honoring and caring for them."

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The Arabs used to vie with one another in honoring guests,

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because they viewed it as one of the finest virtues

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for which a man is commended.

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If you reflect, my noble brother,

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you will find that more than one woman

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among those gathered in that assembly

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described her husband as generous,

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but the manner of honoring guests

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and preparing for them

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varies from one man to another.

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The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, praised

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generosity, saying:

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"Indeed, Allah is generous and loves generosity;

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He is magnanimous and loves magnanimity;

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He loves noble character,

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and dislikes petty matters."

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Recorded by al-Khara'iti in Makarim al-Akhlaq.

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And Abu Hatim

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al-Busti, may Allah have mercy on him, spoke of generosity

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in his book *Rawdat al-'Uqala'*

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*wa Nuzhat al-Fudala'*,

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at great length,

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from which these are selected excerpts:

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"Those seasoned by worldly experience,

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the people of religious virtue,

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and those devoted to noble deeds all agree

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that the finest possession a man can acquire

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for himself in this world,

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and the most sublime treasure he can store for the Hereafter,

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is adhering to generosity.

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For generosity ennobles one's legacy

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and elevates one's standing.

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The generous person is never vindictive,

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nor envious,

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nor gloating,

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nor oppressive,

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nor heedless,

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nor frivolous,

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nor wicked,

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nor boastful,

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nor deceitful,

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nor fickle.

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He never breaks his bonds of affection,

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nor harms his brethren,

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nor neglects loyalty,

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nor turns cold in love.

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He gives to those from whom he expects nothing,

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reassures those who fear no harm from him,

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pardons when he possesses the power to retaliate,

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and maintains ties with those who cut him off.

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The generous man leaves a praiseworthy impact in this life

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and offers deeds pleasing to Allah in the Hereafter.

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He is beloved by both the near and the far,

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and embraced alike by the discontented and the pleased.

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Enemies and the vile depart from his company,

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while the wise and noble remain his companions."

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If these are the traits of the generous person

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toward people in general,

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how then should he be toward his wife—

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whom he chose to be

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his life's companion,

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the one who aids him in honoring guests,

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and who speaks profusely in praise of her husband's generosity?

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My dear, noble husband,

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where do you stand when it comes to generosity toward your wife?

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To what degree is she satisfied

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with your spending on her,

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and does she truly consider you generous?

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We shall continue in our next gathering,

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if Allah wills,

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and all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds.