Our Mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.
"O ‘A’ishah, what makes you weep?"
The way the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, treated his wives, the Mothers of the Believers,
is the most refined example of conduct between a husband and his wife.
Anyone who wishes to learn the art of interaction between spouses
must study how our Prophet, peace be upon him, treated his wives.
For this is the supreme ideal for all married couples.
Among the beautiful examples of the interaction between the Prophet, peace be upon him, and his wife ‘A’ishah
is what she experienced while with him during the Farewell Pilgrimage.
‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, says:
"We set out with the intention of Hajj."
"When we reached Sarif, I began to menstruate."
"The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, came to me while I was weeping."
"He asked, 'What makes you weep, O ‘A’ishah?'"
"I replied, 'I wish I had not performed Hajj this year.'"
"He said, 'Subhan Allah!'"
"'This is something that Allah, the Almighty, has decreed for the daughters of Adam.'"
"'Perform all the rites of the pilgrimage, except that you should not circumambulate the House (the Ka‘bah).'"
"She said, 'When we entered Makkah,'"
"the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said:"
"'Whoever wishes to change their intention to ‘Umrah, let them do so,'"
"'unless they have the sacrificial animal with them.'"
"She said, 'The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, sacrificed cows on behalf of his wives on the Day of Sacrifice.'"
"When we reached the night at al-Batha’, I had become pure (my period had ended)."
"I said, 'O Messenger of Allah,'"
"'will my companions return with both Hajj and ‘Umrah,'"
"'while I return with only Hajj?'"
"He then commanded ‘Abd al-Rahman Ibn Abi Bakr,"
"and he took me to al-Tan‘im, where I entered into the state of ihram for ‘Umrah."
Narrated by Ahmad.
Our Mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,
was listening to the sermon of the Prophet, peace be upon him, to his Companions,
in which he encouraged them to convert their Hajj into an ‘Umrah.
However, she was surprised by the onset of her menstruation
while she was at Sarif, near Makkah.
This meant she would be unable to perform ‘Umrah,
as the time remaining until the Day of ‘Arafah was short,
and menstruation has its own duration.
Our Mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, realized
that she would not be able to perform ‘Umrah.
As she heard the Prophet, peace be upon him, encouraging his Companions
to convert their pilgrimage into an ‘Umrah,
she wept.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, came to her
while she was weeping,
and he comforted her to understand the reason for her tears.
He asked,
"What makes you weep, O ‘A’ishah?"
The weeping of ‘A’ishah when she began her period
occurred because of the distress and sadness she felt at missing the ‘Umrah.
This is a reason that men might not quickly grasp,
and a man might not pay much attention to it,
because he views menstruation as a natural occurrence for every woman.
And it is indeed so.
However, a woman may be in a psychological state
where she is deeply affected by the onset of her period,
such as a woman who has been waiting to conceive and is disappointed when it does not happen,
so she weeps when her period arrives,
or for any other reason.
Thus, the action of the Prophet, peace be upon him, with ‘A’ishah
serves as guidance for husbands on the art of dealing with a woman in such a state.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, did not stop
at merely asking her the reason for her weeping;
rather, he eased the matter for her
by explaining that she was not the only one afflicted with this menstruation,
but that it is the case for all daughters of Adam.
He said,
"This is a matter that Allah has decreed for the daughters of Adam."
Al-Qurtubi said: "Meaning menstruation."
"And He decreed it upon them,"
meaning He created them with this nature,
and established it for them.
This was a way of comforting and consoling her,
and it is evidence of his inclination toward her and his tenderness for her.
Ibn Rajab, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"He ordained it for them and bound them to it."
"Thus, they are rewarded for their patience with it."
The Prophet, peace be upon him, calmed her distress with two points:
First, that menstruation is a matter Allah has decreed for women in general;
and second, that she is like them,
experiencing what they experience.
After the Prophet, peace be upon him, calmed our Mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,
he moved to another dimension of psychological comfort for her.
He explained to her that the onset of menstruation for a woman in the state of ihram does not harm her,
nor does it affect her ihram.
Then the Prophet, peace be upon him, instructed her on what to do in her situation,
saying:
"Perform all the rites of the pilgrimage, except that you should not circumambulate the House."
Al-Bukhari titled this hadith in his Sahih by saying:
"The menstruating woman performs all the rites except circumambulation of the House."
Ibn Rajab, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"The intention of al-Bukhari in this chapter"
"is that menstruation does not prevent any of the rites of Hajj,"
"except for circumambulation of the House and the prayer following it."
"As for everything else, such as standing (at ‘Arafah), dhikr, and supplication,"
"menstruation does not prevent any of it."
"The menstruating woman performs all of that."
"This includes standing at ‘Arafah and Muzdalifah,"
"stoning the pillars, and remembering Allah, the Almighty,"
"and supplicating to Him in these places."
"All of this is unanimously agreed to be permissible."
Ibn al-Mulaqqin, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"Regarding the menstruating woman witnessing all the rites,"
"and her saying the takbir during the two ‘Eids,"
"is evidence for the permissibility of her reciting the Qur'an,"
"because it is from the Sunnah to remember Allah during the rites."
A woman in Ramadan
may be anxious about the arrival of her monthly cycle,
especially in the last ten nights,
due to her intense desire for worship, reading the Qur'an,
and seizing the season of goodness.
She might resort to using certain medications
that delay the onset of menstruation,
which are rarely free from harm
to her health and psychological state.
These medications may even cause
a disruption in the woman's cycle,
resulting in discharge of various colors,
which leaves her in a state of confusion,
not knowing whether she is menstruating or pure.
If only the woman would remember
the words of the Prophet, peace be upon him,
to ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her:
"That is something Allah has decreed for the daughters of Adam."
"So do what the pilgrim does,"
"except do not circumambulate the House until you are pure."
If she were to be content with what Allah has decreed for her regarding menstruation
at the time Allah has ordained for her,
and then perform what the fasting person does
of righteousness and good deeds during this month,
except that she does not fast or pray,
it would be better for her than these medications
that may harm her without her realizing it.
Among the ways the Prophet, peace be upon him, pleased
the heart of ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,
was that he, peace be upon him,
when he departed from Mina after stoning the pillars,
stopped at al-Muhassab,
which is a place between Mina and the Sacred Mosque,
and prayed there the Dhuhr, ‘Asr,
Maghrib, and ‘Isha’ prayers.
When evening came,
‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, spoke with him
regarding the matter of her rites.
She said, "O Messenger of Allah,"
"will my companions return with both Hajj and ‘Umrah,"
"while I return with only Hajj?"
The Prophet, peace be upon him, tried
to convince her that it had been written for her.
He said to her,
"Your circumambulation of the House and between al-Safa and al-Marwah"
"suffices for both your Hajj and your ‘Umrah."
Narrated by Abu Dawud.
But she refused and said, "O Messenger of Allah,"
"you have performed ‘Umrah, but I have not."
"O Messenger of Allah,"
"the people return with two rewards,"
"while I return with one."
"O Messenger of Allah,"
"the people depart with two rites,"
"while I depart with only one."
"O Messenger of Allah,"
"your Companions return with the reward of Hajj and ‘Umrah,"
"while I have not added anything to the Hajj."
"Will your wives return with Hajj and ‘Umrah,"
"while I return with Hajj that has no ‘Umrah with it?"
Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"When she persisted,"
"he allowed her to perform ‘Umrah to comfort her heart."
And Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"She felt in herself"
"that her companions would return"
"with a separate Hajj and ‘Umrah,"
"as they were performing Tamattu‘,"
"and they did not menstruate nor were they performing Qiran,"
"while she would return with an ‘Umrah included within her Hajj."
"So he commanded her brother to take her to perform ‘Umrah from al-Tan‘im"
"to soothe her heart."
This is an example from the fragrant Seerah
of the Prophet, peace be upon him,
expressing the beauty of his conduct, peace be upon him,
with ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.
And his entire Seerah is beautiful.
We shall continue in a future meeting, if Allah wills.
And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
Our Mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.