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Riyad al-Salihin (The Meadows of the Righteous)

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From the Words of the Master of the Messengers,

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Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.

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Chapter: The Prohibition of Mistreating Parents and Severing Ties of Kinship.

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Allah the Exalted said:

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“Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?” (47:22)

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“Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?” (47:22)

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"Those are the ones whom Allah has cursed,

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so He made them deaf and blinded their vision."

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And the Exalted said:

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“And those who break the covenant of Allah after ratifying it, and sever that which Allah hath commanded should be joined, and make mischief in the earth: theirs is the curse and theirs the ill abode.” (13:25)

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"...after its ratification,

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and sever what Allah has ordered

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to be joined and spread corruption on earth.

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Those—the curse will be upon them,

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and for them is the terrible home."

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And the Exalted said:

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“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)

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"...and be good to parents..."

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“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)

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“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)

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“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)

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“And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.” (17:24)

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“And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.” (17:24)

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On the authority of Abu Bakrah,

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Nufay' ibn al-Harith (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:

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The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

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"Shall I not inform you of the greatest of major sins?"—repeating it three times.

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We said: "Yes, indeed, O Messenger of Allah!"

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He said: "Associating partners with Allah,

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and undutifulness to parents."

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He had been reclining, but then sat upright

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and said: "Beware, and false speech and false testimony!"

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And he kept repeating it until we said: "If only he would fall silent."

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Agreed upon.

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Among the benefits derived from this hadith:

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Sins vary in their gravity according to the corruption they cause.

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The stern warning against mistreating parents and giving false testimony.

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The deep love of the Companions for the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).

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From it is also derived the student's compassionate concern for his teacher

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when he sees him agitated,

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and the desire that he not be distressed.

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The recommendation to repeat a statement or exhortation three times so it may be properly understood.

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The recommendation of passionate earnestness and emotional intensity in a preacher's exhortation

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and in a speaker's sermon,

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so that it leaves a stronger impact on the listeners' awareness

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and serves as a firmer deterrent against committing what is forbidden.

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For whenever the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) delivered a sermon,

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his voice would rise and his face would redden,

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as though he were warning of an invading army.

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As for a lifeless, lethargic delivery in preaching,

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it merely induces drowsiness and apathy.

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The hadith provides proof that sins are categorized into major and minor sins.

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It is also known that avoiding major sins expiates minor ones,

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as the Exalted said.

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“If ye avoid the great (things) which ye are forbidden, We will remit from you your evil deeds and make you enter at a noble gate.” (4:31)

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The permissibility of a scholar initiating a discussion with his companions by posing a question.

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And on the authority of 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As (may Allah be pleased with them both),

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from the Prophet (peace be upon him), who said:

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"The major sins are:

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Associating partners with Allah,

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undutifulness to parents,

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taking a life,

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and the false, engulfing oath (al-yamin al-ghamus)."

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Narrated by al-Bukhari.

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The false, engulfing oath

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is that which a person swears falsely and intentionally.

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It is called "ghamus" (engulfing)

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because it plunges the one who swears it deep into sin.

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Among the benefits derived from this hadith:

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In addition to what was mentioned in the preceding hadith,

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this hadith conveys

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the absolute prohibition of taking a life unlawfully.

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Major sins are more numerous than what is enumerated here,

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but the specific context necessitated this selection,

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so he mentioned those most damaging and critically perilous.

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Clarifying that oaths fall into several categories:

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Among them is the engulfing false oath,

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which is akin to bearing false witness;

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among them is the binding oath (al-yamin al-mun'aqidah);

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and among them is the unintentional oath (yamin al-laghw).

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And on the authority of 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As (may Allah be pleased with them both),

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that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

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"Among the major sins is for a man to revile his parents."

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They said: "O Messenger of Allah,

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does a man ever revile his own parents?"

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He replied: "Yes;

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he insults another man's father,

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so that man insults his father in return,

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and he insults his mother,

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so that man insults his mother in return."

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Agreed upon.

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And in another narration:

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"Indeed, among the greatest of major sins is for a man to curse his parents."

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It was asked: "O Messenger of Allah,

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how does a man curse his parents?"

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He said:

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"He insults another man's father,

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so that man insults his father in return,

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and he insults his mother,

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so that man insults his mother in return."

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Among the benefits derived from this hadith:

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The prohibition of reviling parents

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and an affirmation of the immense right of one's parents.

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Part of mistreating parents is

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exposing them to insult and humiliation,

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or serving as the cause for them to be disrespected.

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The hadith serves as an evidence

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for the legal maxim of "warding off harms,"

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and that it takes precedence

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over "securing benefits."

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It also establishes the principle of "blocking the means to evil" (sadd al-dhara'i'),

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which is a momentous principle

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in the religion;

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neglecting it inevitably leads to corruption

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upon the earth.

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Whoever causes an act to occur

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is treated as though he committed it himself,

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whether for good or for bad.

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Applying the principle of blocking the means

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and securing benefits

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is judged according to what normally and predominantly happens.

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It is possible that the other man

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might insult his father back,

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and it is possible that he might refrain;

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however, in the vast majority of cases,

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he will retaliate with similar insults,

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because in such a moment of heedlessness

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and an hour of provoked fury,

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Satan gains mastery over man.

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“Save him on whom Allah hath mercy. Lo! He is the Mighty, the Merciful.” (44:42)

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The permissibility of a student

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seeking clarification from his teacher

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regarding statements that appear puzzling or difficult to understand.

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And on the authority of Abu Muhammad

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Jubayr ibn Mut'im

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(may Allah be pleased with him),

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that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)

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said:

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"There shall not enter Paradise

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one who severs."

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Sufyan said in his narration:

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"Meaning: one who severs ties of kinship."

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Agreed upon.

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Among the benefits derived from this hadith:

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A severe warning

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against severing ties of kinship,

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and that it is a cause for stern punishment

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which stands as a barrier

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preventing a person from entering Paradise.

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Whoever deems the severing of kinship permissible

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while knowing its explicit prohibition

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will never enter Paradise

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at all.

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And on the authority of Abu 'Isa,

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al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah

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(may Allah be pleased with him),

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from the Prophet (peace be upon him),

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who said:

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"Indeed, Allah the Exalted

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has forbidden you from mistreating

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mothers,

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withholding dues while demanding what is not yours ('man'an wa hat'),

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burying female infants alive,

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indulging in gossip and idle chatter (qila wa qala),

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persistent asking of unnecessary questions,

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and squandering wealth."

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Agreed upon.

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His saying "withholding" (man'an)

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means withholding what one is obligated to give,

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while "demanding" (hat)

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means asking for that to which one has no right.

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"Burying female infants alive"

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means burying them

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while they are still living.

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"Gossip and idle chatter" (qila wa qala)

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means recounting everything one hears,

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such that one says:

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"It was said such-and-such,"

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and "So-and-so said such-and-such,"

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concerning matters whose truth he does not know,

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nor even thinks likely to be true;

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and it is sufficient falsehood for a person

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to convey everything he hears.

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"Squandering wealth"

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means wasting it and spending it

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on avenues that are not permitted

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among the legitimate objectives

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of the Hereafter or this worldly life,

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as well as failing to preserve it properly

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when one has the ability to safeguard it.

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And "excessive questioning"

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pertains to matters wherein there is no real need.

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Among the benefits derived from this hadith:

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The strict prohibition of mistreating

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mothers,

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and likewise fathers;

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mothers were singled out for mention here

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due to their physical vulnerability

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and their profound need,

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and because showing kindness to them

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takes precedence over showing kindness to fathers.

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The prohibition of withholding

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the rightful dues of people.

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The prohibition of taking that

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to which you have no legitimate right.

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The dispraise of disputation, contentious bickering,

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and posing questions that contain

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no real benefit,

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and yields no benefit

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or warding off of harm.

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The prohibition against squandering

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and wasting wealth.

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The prohibition of burying children alive;

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daughters were specifically singled out

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because that was the predominant

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and prevalent practice in the life of the Arabs before

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Islam,

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so the prohibition was directed toward it.

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This hadith is a foundational basis for understanding

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good character,

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and it encompasses all

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noble morals.

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Chapter on the Virtue of Maintaining Ties with the Friends of

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One's Father, Mother, Relatives,

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Wife, and All Those Whom

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It Is Recommended to Honor.

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On the authority of Ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with

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both of them, that the Prophet,

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peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

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"The highest form of

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dutifulness is for a man to maintain ties with

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his father's friends."

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And on the authority of 'Abdullah ibn Dinar,

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from 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar,

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may Allah be pleased with them,

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that a Bedouin man

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met him along the road to Mecca,

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so 'Abdullah greeted him

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ibn 'Umar,

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and mounted him upon a donkey

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that he used to ride,

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and gave him a turban

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that was on his own head.

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Ibn Dinar said:

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We said to him,

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"May Allah set your affairs right,

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they are just Bedouins!"

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Ibn 'Umar replied,

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00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:55,350
"This man's father was

251
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,350
a close friend of 'Umar ibn al-Khattab,

252
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may Allah be pleased with him,

253
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,350
and indeed I heard the Messenger of Allah,

254
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,350
peace be upon him, say:

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00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:05,350
'The highest form of dutifulness

256
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:07,350
is for a man to maintain ties with the family of

257
00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:09,539
his father's friend.'"

258
00:11:09,539 --> 00:11:10,539
And in another narration

259
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,539
from Ibn Dinar,

260
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,539
from Ibn 'Umar,

261
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:15,539
that whenever he set out for Mecca,

262
00:11:15,539 --> 00:11:17,539
he had a donkey

263
00:11:17,539 --> 00:11:19,539
on which he would take relief

264
00:11:19,539 --> 00:11:24,679
when weary of riding his camel, and a turban with which he bound his head.

265
00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:27,980
Thus, one day while he was riding that donkey,

266
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:30,480
a Bedouin happened to pass by him,

267
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:31,899
so he said,

268
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:34,440
"Are you not so-and-so, son of so-and-so?"

269
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:35,940
He replied, "Yes, indeed."

270
00:11:35,940 --> 00:11:37,740
So he gave him the donkey,

271
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:38,879
saying,

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00:11:38,879 --> 00:11:40,639
"Ride this,"

273
00:11:40,639 --> 00:11:42,539
and gave him the turban,

274
00:11:42,539 --> 00:11:43,840
saying,

275
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,100
"Bind your head with it."

276
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,539
Some of his companions said to him,

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"May Allah forgive you!

278
00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:53,129
You gave this Bedouin a donkey

279
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,230
on which you used to take relief,

280
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:59,100
and a turban with which you used to bind your head!"

281
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,440
He replied,

282
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:05,639
"I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, say:

283
00:12:05,639 --> 00:12:07,740
'Indeed, among the highest forms of dutifulness

284
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:12,740
is for a man to maintain ties with the family of his father's friend after he has passed away,'

285
00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:17,600
and his father was a friend of 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him."

286
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:22,789
All of these narrations were related by Muslim.

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00:12:22,789 --> 00:12:24,289
"The highest form of dutifulness" (abr al-birr):

288
00:12:24,289 --> 00:12:26,789
meaning its most complete and profound degree.

289
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,029
"Wudd":

290
00:12:28,029 --> 00:12:31,679
meaning love, affection, and friendship.

291
00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,679
"Al-A'rab" is the plural of a'rabi,

292
00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,240
and they are the dwellers of the desert.

293
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,039
"He would take relief on it":

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00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:41,440
meaning he would rest upon it.

295
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,539
"Malla":

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00:12:42,539 --> 00:12:44,679
meaning grew weary and tired.

297
00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:46,539
"After he has passed away":

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00:12:46,539 --> 00:12:50,070
meaning after he dies.

299
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,600
Among the benefits of the hadith:

300
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,460
It is part of dutifulness to parents

301
00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:58,460
to maintain ties with their friends and companions after their death,

302
00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:00,259
even with something small;

303
00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:01,860
and whoever finds nothing material,

304
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:06,039
then by visiting or offering a kind word.

305
00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:09,139
Teaching the proper etiquette of supplication through their words:

306
00:13:09,139 --> 00:13:10,840
"May Allah forgive you,"

307
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,360
and "May Allah set your affairs right."

308
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,720
A sign of complete dutifulness and maintaining ties

309
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,519
is spending on the friends of one's parents

310
00:13:18,519 --> 00:13:22,799
from one's choicest belongings and that which one cherishes for oneself.

311
00:13:22,799 --> 00:13:27,360
The numerous virtues of 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with them both,

312
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:31,200
among which are his profound loyalty and love for his father,

313
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,200
maintaining ties with his father's loved ones after his death,

314
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:39,139
his responsiveness to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

315
00:13:39,139 --> 00:13:41,860
spending from his finest wealth,

316
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:45,700
and preferring others over himself.

317
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,899
In the description given by the companions of Ibn 'Umar concerning the Bedouins,

318
00:13:49,899 --> 00:13:52,500
that they are content with very little,

319
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:56,399
is an indication of how deeply man is influenced by his environment;

320
00:13:56,399 --> 00:13:58,600
for Bedouins are people of meager subsistence,

321
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:03,570
and therefore they are satisfied with little.

322
00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:05,269
On the authority of Abu Usayd,

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00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:10,129
Malik ibn Rabi'ah al-Sa'idi, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

324
00:14:10,129 --> 00:14:15,330
While we were sitting with the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

325
00:14:15,429 --> 00:14:18,730
a man from Banu Salamah came to him

326
00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:20,029
and said,

327
00:14:20,029 --> 00:14:21,830
"O Messenger of Allah,

328
00:14:21,830 --> 00:14:28,029
does there remain any dutifulness toward my parents with which I may honor them after their death?"

329
00:14:28,029 --> 00:14:29,730
He replied, "Yes:

330
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:31,629
praying for them,

331
00:14:31,629 --> 00:14:33,730
seeking forgiveness for them,

332
00:14:33,730 --> 00:14:36,929
fulfilling their pledges after them,

333
00:14:36,929 --> 00:14:38,330
maintaining the ties of kinship

334
00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:41,330
that are joined only through them,

335
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:44,419
and honoring their friend."

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00:14:44,419 --> 00:14:47,720
Recorded by Abu Dawud.

337
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,149
Among the benefits of the hadith:

338
00:14:50,149 --> 00:14:54,250
Seizing the opportunity of the presence of both parents or either of them

339
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:56,730
to treat them dutifully.

340
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,230
Part of a person's dutifulness toward his parents

341
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:03,110
is supplication and seeking forgiveness for them.

342
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:08,110
Attending to the affairs of parents during their lifetime and after their death:

343
00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,110
as for their lifetime,

344
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,909
by managing their needs;

345
00:15:12,909 --> 00:15:15,210
and as for after their death,

346
00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:18,110
by executing their lawful bequests,

347
00:15:18,110 --> 00:15:22,110
maintaining the kinship ties that exist through them,

348
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:26,740
and honoring their friends and companions.

349
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:30,639
Striving to raise children righteously

350
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:36,980
so that it brings benefit to the parents in life and in death.

351
00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:40,480
On the authority of 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, who said:

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00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:45,779
"I was never jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet, peace be upon him,

353
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:49,279
as I was jealous of Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her,

354
00:15:49,279 --> 00:15:51,879
even though I never saw her;

355
00:15:51,879 --> 00:15:54,879
but he used to mention her frequently,

356
00:15:54,879 --> 00:15:56,879
and he would often slaughter a sheep,

357
00:15:56,879 --> 00:15:59,379
then cut it into limbs,

358
00:15:59,379 --> 00:16:02,940
and send them to Khadijah's friends.

359
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:04,940
So I would sometimes say to him,

360
00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:08,440
'It is as though there were no other woman in the world except Khadijah!'

361
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,940
and he would say,

362
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:12,940
'Indeed, she was such and such,

363
00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:15,440
and I had children from her.'"

364
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,440
Agreed upon.

365
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,940
And in another narration:

366
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,440
"Whenever he slaughtered a sheep,

367
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:25,940
he would send as gifts to her close female friends whatever would suffice them."

368
00:16:25,940 --> 00:16:27,440
And in another narration:

369
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,440
Whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would say:

370
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:34,470
"Send it to Khadijah's friends."

371
00:16:34,470 --> 00:16:36,970
And in another narration, she said:

372
00:16:36,970 --> 00:16:39,970
Halah bint Khuwaylid,

373
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:41,470
the sister of Khadijah,

374
00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:45,470
asked permission to enter upon the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

375
00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:47,970
and he recognized Khadijah's manner of asking permission,

376
00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:49,970
which deeply moved him,

377
00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:51,470
so he said,

378
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:56,399
"O Allah, let it be Halah bint Khuwaylid!"

379
00:16:56,399 --> 00:16:58,659
Among the benefits of the hadith:

380
00:16:58,659 --> 00:17:03,159
It highlights the virtues of the Mother of the Believers, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid,

381
00:17:03,159 --> 00:17:05,160
may Allah be pleased with her;

382
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:09,660
for she believed in the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

383
00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:11,660
aided him with her wealth,

384
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:13,660
encouraged him to remain steadfast,

385
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:17,730
and was among the foremost, first believers.

386
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:21,730
The noble loyalty of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

387
00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:24,230
to the memory of his first wife,

388
00:17:24,230 --> 00:17:27,710
who supported and comforted him.

389
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:31,210
Among the beloved qualities of a righteous woman

390
00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:34,210
is that she be affectionate and fertile;

391
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:37,710
therefore, the Messenger, peace be upon him, commanded

392
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:40,319
marrying such women.

393
00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:42,319
Affirmation of jealousy,

394
00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:46,319
and that it is not condemned in virtuous women;

395
00:17:46,319 --> 00:17:49,319
for here is 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,

396
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:54,319
of whom the other wives of the Prophet, peace be upon him,

397
00:17:54,319 --> 00:17:56,319
may Allah be pleased with them, were jealous,

398
00:17:56,319 --> 00:18:01,769
yet she herself was jealous of Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her.

399
00:18:01,769 --> 00:18:05,769
Frequent remembrance indicates profound love;

400
00:18:05,769 --> 00:18:10,769
hence the hallmark of those who love Allah, the Lord of the Worlds,

401
00:18:10,769 --> 00:18:16,980
is that they are among the men and women who remember Allah much.

402
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:20,980
On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

403
00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:26,980
I set out with Jarir ibn 'Abdillah al-Bajali, may Allah be pleased with him, on a journey,

404
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,980
and he used to serve me;

405
00:18:28,980 --> 00:18:31,980
so I said to him, "Do not do that!"

406
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:32,980
Whereupon he said,

407
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:39,980
"Indeed, I saw the Ansar do something for the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

408
00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:46,109
"I resolved upon myself never to accompany any of them without serving him."

409
00:18:46,109 --> 00:18:49,170
Agreed upon.

410
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:52,170
"I resolved" (ālaytu) means "I swore an oath."

411
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:56,809
"A thing" refers to a matter of immense importance.

412
00:18:56,809 --> 00:18:58,809
Among the benefits derived from this hadith:

413
00:18:58,809 --> 00:19:05,099
The humility and immense virtue of the Companions of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.

414
00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:12,480
Honoring those who treated the Prophet, peace be upon him, with excellence, even if they are younger in age.

415
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,829
Venerating and showing respect to elders.

416
00:19:15,829 --> 00:19:24,089
The distinct virtues, precedence, and dedicated service of the Ansar to the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him.

417
00:19:24,089 --> 00:19:28,180
Riyad al-Salihin.