Riyad al-Salihin (The Meadows of the Righteous)
From the Words of the Master of the Messengers,
Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.
Chapter: The Prohibition of Mistreating Parents and Severing Ties of Kinship.
Allah the Exalted said:
“Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?” (47:22)
“Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?” (47:22)
"Those are the ones whom Allah has cursed,
so He made them deaf and blinded their vision."
And the Exalted said:
“And those who break the covenant of Allah after ratifying it, and sever that which Allah hath commanded should be joined, and make mischief in the earth: theirs is the curse and theirs the ill abode.” (13:25)
"...after its ratification,
and sever what Allah has ordered
to be joined and spread corruption on earth.
Those—the curse will be upon them,
and for them is the terrible home."
And the Exalted said:
“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)
"...and be good to parents..."
“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)
“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)
“Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)
“And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.” (17:24)
“And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.” (17:24)
On the authority of Abu Bakrah,
Nufay' ibn al-Harith (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
"Shall I not inform you of the greatest of major sins?"—repeating it three times.
We said: "Yes, indeed, O Messenger of Allah!"
He said: "Associating partners with Allah,
and undutifulness to parents."
He had been reclining, but then sat upright
and said: "Beware, and false speech and false testimony!"
And he kept repeating it until we said: "If only he would fall silent."
Agreed upon.
Among the benefits derived from this hadith:
Sins vary in their gravity according to the corruption they cause.
The stern warning against mistreating parents and giving false testimony.
The deep love of the Companions for the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).
From it is also derived the student's compassionate concern for his teacher
when he sees him agitated,
and the desire that he not be distressed.
The recommendation to repeat a statement or exhortation three times so it may be properly understood.
The recommendation of passionate earnestness and emotional intensity in a preacher's exhortation
and in a speaker's sermon,
so that it leaves a stronger impact on the listeners' awareness
and serves as a firmer deterrent against committing what is forbidden.
For whenever the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) delivered a sermon,
his voice would rise and his face would redden,
as though he were warning of an invading army.
As for a lifeless, lethargic delivery in preaching,
it merely induces drowsiness and apathy.
The hadith provides proof that sins are categorized into major and minor sins.
It is also known that avoiding major sins expiates minor ones,
as the Exalted said.
“If ye avoid the great (things) which ye are forbidden, We will remit from you your evil deeds and make you enter at a noble gate.” (4:31)
The permissibility of a scholar initiating a discussion with his companions by posing a question.
And on the authority of 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As (may Allah be pleased with them both),
from the Prophet (peace be upon him), who said:
"The major sins are:
Associating partners with Allah,
undutifulness to parents,
taking a life,
and the false, engulfing oath (al-yamin al-ghamus)."
Narrated by al-Bukhari.
The false, engulfing oath
is that which a person swears falsely and intentionally.
It is called "ghamus" (engulfing)
because it plunges the one who swears it deep into sin.
Among the benefits derived from this hadith:
In addition to what was mentioned in the preceding hadith,
this hadith conveys
the absolute prohibition of taking a life unlawfully.
Major sins are more numerous than what is enumerated here,
but the specific context necessitated this selection,
so he mentioned those most damaging and critically perilous.
Clarifying that oaths fall into several categories:
Among them is the engulfing false oath,
which is akin to bearing false witness;
among them is the binding oath (al-yamin al-mun'aqidah);
and among them is the unintentional oath (yamin al-laghw).
And on the authority of 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As (may Allah be pleased with them both),
that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"Among the major sins is for a man to revile his parents."
They said: "O Messenger of Allah,
does a man ever revile his own parents?"
He replied: "Yes;
he insults another man's father,
so that man insults his father in return,
and he insults his mother,
so that man insults his mother in return."
Agreed upon.
And in another narration:
"Indeed, among the greatest of major sins is for a man to curse his parents."
It was asked: "O Messenger of Allah,
how does a man curse his parents?"
He said:
"He insults another man's father,
so that man insults his father in return,
and he insults his mother,
so that man insults his mother in return."
Among the benefits derived from this hadith:
The prohibition of reviling parents
and an affirmation of the immense right of one's parents.
Part of mistreating parents is
exposing them to insult and humiliation,
or serving as the cause for them to be disrespected.
The hadith serves as an evidence
for the legal maxim of "warding off harms,"
and that it takes precedence
over "securing benefits."
It also establishes the principle of "blocking the means to evil" (sadd al-dhara'i'),
which is a momentous principle
in the religion;
neglecting it inevitably leads to corruption
upon the earth.
Whoever causes an act to occur
is treated as though he committed it himself,
whether for good or for bad.
Applying the principle of blocking the means
and securing benefits
is judged according to what normally and predominantly happens.
It is possible that the other man
might insult his father back,
and it is possible that he might refrain;
however, in the vast majority of cases,
he will retaliate with similar insults,
because in such a moment of heedlessness
and an hour of provoked fury,
Satan gains mastery over man.
“Save him on whom Allah hath mercy. Lo! He is the Mighty, the Merciful.” (44:42)
The permissibility of a student
seeking clarification from his teacher
regarding statements that appear puzzling or difficult to understand.
And on the authority of Abu Muhammad
Jubayr ibn Mut'im
(may Allah be pleased with him),
that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)
said:
"There shall not enter Paradise
one who severs."
Sufyan said in his narration:
"Meaning: one who severs ties of kinship."
Agreed upon.
Among the benefits derived from this hadith:
A severe warning
against severing ties of kinship,
and that it is a cause for stern punishment
which stands as a barrier
preventing a person from entering Paradise.
Whoever deems the severing of kinship permissible
while knowing its explicit prohibition
will never enter Paradise
at all.
And on the authority of Abu 'Isa,
al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah
(may Allah be pleased with him),
from the Prophet (peace be upon him),
who said:
"Indeed, Allah the Exalted
has forbidden you from mistreating
mothers,
withholding dues while demanding what is not yours ('man'an wa hat'),
burying female infants alive,
indulging in gossip and idle chatter (qila wa qala),
persistent asking of unnecessary questions,
and squandering wealth."
Agreed upon.
His saying "withholding" (man'an)
means withholding what one is obligated to give,
while "demanding" (hat)
means asking for that to which one has no right.
"Burying female infants alive"
means burying them
while they are still living.
"Gossip and idle chatter" (qila wa qala)
means recounting everything one hears,
such that one says:
"It was said such-and-such,"
and "So-and-so said such-and-such,"
concerning matters whose truth he does not know,
nor even thinks likely to be true;
and it is sufficient falsehood for a person
to convey everything he hears.
"Squandering wealth"
means wasting it and spending it
on avenues that are not permitted
among the legitimate objectives
of the Hereafter or this worldly life,
as well as failing to preserve it properly
when one has the ability to safeguard it.
And "excessive questioning"
pertains to matters wherein there is no real need.
Among the benefits derived from this hadith:
The strict prohibition of mistreating
mothers,
and likewise fathers;
mothers were singled out for mention here
due to their physical vulnerability
and their profound need,
and because showing kindness to them
takes precedence over showing kindness to fathers.
The prohibition of withholding
the rightful dues of people.
The prohibition of taking that
to which you have no legitimate right.
The dispraise of disputation, contentious bickering,
and posing questions that contain
no real benefit,
and yields no benefit
or warding off of harm.
The prohibition against squandering
and wasting wealth.
The prohibition of burying children alive;
daughters were specifically singled out
because that was the predominant
and prevalent practice in the life of the Arabs before
Islam,
so the prohibition was directed toward it.
This hadith is a foundational basis for understanding
good character,
and it encompasses all
noble morals.
Chapter on the Virtue of Maintaining Ties with the Friends of
One's Father, Mother, Relatives,
Wife, and All Those Whom
It Is Recommended to Honor.
On the authority of Ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with
both of them, that the Prophet,
peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
"The highest form of
dutifulness is for a man to maintain ties with
his father's friends."
And on the authority of 'Abdullah ibn Dinar,
from 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar,
may Allah be pleased with them,
that a Bedouin man
met him along the road to Mecca,
so 'Abdullah greeted him
ibn 'Umar,
and mounted him upon a donkey
that he used to ride,
and gave him a turban
that was on his own head.
Ibn Dinar said:
We said to him,
"May Allah set your affairs right,
they are just Bedouins!"
Ibn 'Umar replied,
"This man's father was
a close friend of 'Umar ibn al-Khattab,
may Allah be pleased with him,
and indeed I heard the Messenger of Allah,
peace be upon him, say:
'The highest form of dutifulness
is for a man to maintain ties with the family of
his father's friend.'"
And in another narration
from Ibn Dinar,
from Ibn 'Umar,
that whenever he set out for Mecca,
he had a donkey
on which he would take relief
when weary of riding his camel, and a turban with which he bound his head.
Thus, one day while he was riding that donkey,
a Bedouin happened to pass by him,
so he said,
"Are you not so-and-so, son of so-and-so?"
He replied, "Yes, indeed."
So he gave him the donkey,
saying,
"Ride this,"
and gave him the turban,
saying,
"Bind your head with it."
Some of his companions said to him,
"May Allah forgive you!
You gave this Bedouin a donkey
on which you used to take relief,
and a turban with which you used to bind your head!"
He replied,
"I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, say:
'Indeed, among the highest forms of dutifulness
is for a man to maintain ties with the family of his father's friend after he has passed away,'
and his father was a friend of 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him."
All of these narrations were related by Muslim.
"The highest form of dutifulness" (abr al-birr):
meaning its most complete and profound degree.
"Wudd":
meaning love, affection, and friendship.
"Al-A'rab" is the plural of a'rabi,
and they are the dwellers of the desert.
"He would take relief on it":
meaning he would rest upon it.
"Malla":
meaning grew weary and tired.
"After he has passed away":
meaning after he dies.
Among the benefits of the hadith:
It is part of dutifulness to parents
to maintain ties with their friends and companions after their death,
even with something small;
and whoever finds nothing material,
then by visiting or offering a kind word.
Teaching the proper etiquette of supplication through their words:
"May Allah forgive you,"
and "May Allah set your affairs right."
A sign of complete dutifulness and maintaining ties
is spending on the friends of one's parents
from one's choicest belongings and that which one cherishes for oneself.
The numerous virtues of 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with them both,
among which are his profound loyalty and love for his father,
maintaining ties with his father's loved ones after his death,
his responsiveness to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,
spending from his finest wealth,
and preferring others over himself.
In the description given by the companions of Ibn 'Umar concerning the Bedouins,
that they are content with very little,
is an indication of how deeply man is influenced by his environment;
for Bedouins are people of meager subsistence,
and therefore they are satisfied with little.
On the authority of Abu Usayd,
Malik ibn Rabi'ah al-Sa'idi, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:
While we were sitting with the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,
a man from Banu Salamah came to him
and said,
"O Messenger of Allah,
does there remain any dutifulness toward my parents with which I may honor them after their death?"
He replied, "Yes:
praying for them,
seeking forgiveness for them,
fulfilling their pledges after them,
maintaining the ties of kinship
that are joined only through them,
and honoring their friend."
Recorded by Abu Dawud.
Among the benefits of the hadith:
Seizing the opportunity of the presence of both parents or either of them
to treat them dutifully.
Part of a person's dutifulness toward his parents
is supplication and seeking forgiveness for them.
Attending to the affairs of parents during their lifetime and after their death:
as for their lifetime,
by managing their needs;
and as for after their death,
by executing their lawful bequests,
maintaining the kinship ties that exist through them,
and honoring their friends and companions.
Striving to raise children righteously
so that it brings benefit to the parents in life and in death.
On the authority of 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, who said:
"I was never jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet, peace be upon him,
as I was jealous of Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her,
even though I never saw her;
but he used to mention her frequently,
and he would often slaughter a sheep,
then cut it into limbs,
and send them to Khadijah's friends.
So I would sometimes say to him,
'It is as though there were no other woman in the world except Khadijah!'
and he would say,
'Indeed, she was such and such,
and I had children from her.'"
Agreed upon.
And in another narration:
"Whenever he slaughtered a sheep,
he would send as gifts to her close female friends whatever would suffice them."
And in another narration:
Whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would say:
"Send it to Khadijah's friends."
And in another narration, she said:
Halah bint Khuwaylid,
the sister of Khadijah,
asked permission to enter upon the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,
and he recognized Khadijah's manner of asking permission,
which deeply moved him,
so he said,
"O Allah, let it be Halah bint Khuwaylid!"
Among the benefits of the hadith:
It highlights the virtues of the Mother of the Believers, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid,
may Allah be pleased with her;
for she believed in the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,
aided him with her wealth,
encouraged him to remain steadfast,
and was among the foremost, first believers.
The noble loyalty of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,
to the memory of his first wife,
who supported and comforted him.
Among the beloved qualities of a righteous woman
is that she be affectionate and fertile;
therefore, the Messenger, peace be upon him, commanded
marrying such women.
Affirmation of jealousy,
and that it is not condemned in virtuous women;
for here is 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,
of whom the other wives of the Prophet, peace be upon him,
may Allah be pleased with them, were jealous,
yet she herself was jealous of Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her.
Frequent remembrance indicates profound love;
hence the hallmark of those who love Allah, the Lord of the Worlds,
is that they are among the men and women who remember Allah much.
On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:
I set out with Jarir ibn 'Abdillah al-Bajali, may Allah be pleased with him, on a journey,
and he used to serve me;
so I said to him, "Do not do that!"
Whereupon he said,
"Indeed, I saw the Ansar do something for the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,
"I resolved upon myself never to accompany any of them without serving him."
Agreed upon.
"I resolved" (ālaytu) means "I swore an oath."
"A thing" refers to a matter of immense importance.
Among the benefits derived from this hadith:
The humility and immense virtue of the Companions of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.
Honoring those who treated the Prophet, peace be upon him, with excellence, even if they are younger in age.
Venerating and showing respect to elders.
The distinct virtues, precedence, and dedicated service of the Ansar to the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him.
Riyad al-Salihin.