In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
The Life of the Salaf Between Word and Deed.
Brotherhood and Companionship.
The Virtue of Brotherhood and Companionship for Allah's Sake,
and Showing Kindness to Them.
On the authority of Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him and his father), who said:
"Love for the sake of Allah and hate for the sake of Allah,
be loyal for the sake of Allah and oppose for the sake of Allah;
for indeed, the friendship of Allah is attained only through this.
And a servant will never taste the true flavor of faith—
even if his prayers and fasting are abundant—
until he becomes like that."
And on the authority of Ka'b al-Ahbar (may Allah have mercy on him), who said:
"Many a standing worshiper is grateful and rewarded,
while many a sleeping person is forgiven.
That is because two men love each other for the sake of Allah;
one of them stands up to pray,
and Allah accepts his prayer and supplication,
rejecting none of what he asks for.
So he remembers his brother in his night prayers,
saying: 'O Lord, my brother so-and-so,
forgive him!'
And so Allah forgives him while he is asleep."
Ibn al-Muqaffa' (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Among the greatest aids in dispelling worries
and attaining peace of mind
is for a brother to meet his brother,
and for each of them to pour out
his grief and distress to his companion.
And whenever a close companion is separated from his companion,
his tranquility is stripped away and his joy is denied."
And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Know that true, sincere brothers
are the best worldly gains:
they are an adornment in times of ease,
a support in times of hardship,
and an aid toward the best of this life and the Hereafter.
So never neglect winning them
and seeking ties and avenues to connect with them."
Muhammad ibn Suqah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"No man gains a brother for the sake of Allah
except that Allah raises him by a degree on account of it."
And on the authority of 'Ali ibn al-Husayn (may Allah have mercy on him), who said:
"The loss of loved ones is true estrangement."
Al-Qasim ibn Muhammad (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Allah has made a righteous friend
a substitute for a neglectful kin."
And on the authority of Makhul (may Allah have mercy on him), who said:
"Whoever loves a righteous man
has only loved Allah."
Muhammad ibn Yusuf (may Allah have mercy on him) said,
speaking of brothers in faith:
"Where can one find the likes of a righteous brother?
Your family is dividing your inheritance,
while he alone stands by your grave,
praying for you while you are buried beneath the layers of the earth."
And on the authority of Abu Zur'ah ibn 'Amr ibn Jarir
(may Allah have mercy on him), who said:
"No two men love each other for the sake of Allah, the Exalted and Glorious,
except that the better of the two is the one who is more intense
in his love for his companion."
Stories and Incidents of Kindness
Toward a Brother and Friend.
On the authority of Umm al-Darda' (may Allah be pleased with her):
"Abu al-Darda' (may Allah be pleased with him) had
three hundred and sixty close friends for the sake of Allah,
for whom he used to supplicate in his prayer.
So I questioned him about that,
and he said: 'There is no man
who supplicates for his brother in his absence
except that Allah appoints two angels over him who say:
\"And for you the like thereof.\"
Should I not desire that the angels pray for me?'"
Ka'b ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said,
in his account of when he stayed behind
from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
during the Battle of Tabuk, and then Allah accepted his repentance:
"And the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) announced
Allah's acceptance of our repentance
when he prayed the dawn prayer.
People then met me in groups,
congratulating me on the acceptance of my repentance, saying:
'May Allah's acceptance of your repentance bring you joy!'
until I entered the mosque,
and there was the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)
surrounded by people.
Talhah ibn 'Ubaydillah (may Allah be pleased with him) stood up,
jogging toward me until he shook my hand
and congratulated me. By Allah,
no man from among the Emigrants stood up to me besides him;
I will never forget that gesture of Talhah's."
The nephew of Muhammad ibn Suqah (may Allah have mercy on him)
once asked him for some assistance,
so he wept. The nephew said to him:
"By Allah, my uncle, had I known that my asking
would cause you this much grief, I would not have asked you."
He replied: "I did not weep because you asked;
rather, I wept because
I did not initiate giving to you before you had to ask."
And on the authority of Mutarrif ibn al-Shikhkhir (may Allah have mercy on him),
he said to one of his brothers:
"O so-and-so,
whenever you have a need,
do not speak to me of it, but write it on a slip of paper;
for I dislike to see upon your face
the humiliation of begging."
Tawus (may Allah have mercy on him) stayed behind to tend to a sick companion of his,
even to the point that he missed the Hajj pilgrimage.
Being Patient with Them, Overlooking Their Shortcomings,
and Seeking Excuses for Them.
'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
"Never think ill of a word that comes out of the mouth of a fellow Muslim
as long as you can find for it
a good and reasonable interpretation."
And on the authority of Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him),
regarding the words of Allah, the Blessed and Exalted:
“The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and thee there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend.” (41:34)
"Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better;
“The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and thee there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend.” (41:34)
and thereupon, the one whom between you and him was enmity
will become as though he was a devoted friend.
“But none is granted it save those who are steadfast, and none is granted it save the owner of great happiness.” (41:35)
But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one of great fortune."
“But none is granted it save those who are steadfast, and none is granted it save the owner of great happiness.” (41:35)
He said:
"It refers to a man whose brother insults him,
and so he says: 'If you are truthful,
may Allah forgive me;
and if you are lying, may Allah forgive you.'"
There was a dispute between Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas
and Khalid ibn al-Walid (may Allah be pleased with them both),
and a man went
to disparage Khalid in the presence of Sa'd.
But Sa'd said: "Quiet! Whatever is between us
has not affected our commitment to our religion."
And on the authority of Abu Qilabah (may Allah have mercy on him), who said:
"If something you dislike reaches you concerning your brother,
strive to find an excuse for him with all your might;
and if you cannot find an excuse for him,
then say to yourself: 'Perhaps my brother has an excuse
of which I am unaware.'"
And on the authority of Yunus ibn 'Abd al-A'la, who said:
Al-Shafi'i (may Allah have mercy on him) said to me:
"O Yunus, if something you dislike reaches you
concerning a friend of yours,
do not confront him with hostility and severance of loyalty,
lest you become one who displaces certainty with doubt.
Rather, meet him and say to him:
'Such-and-such has reached me about you,'
taking care never to name the person who conveyed it.
If he denies it, say to him:
'You are more truthful and righteous,'
and do not add anything further to that.
But if he admits to it
and you see a valid excuse for him in it,
then accept it from him.
And if you do not see one, say to him:
'What did you intend by what has reached me concerning you?'
If he mentions something that carries a plausible excuse,
accept it from him;
but if you see no valid excuse for it
and the matter narrows upon you,
only then count it against him as a misdeed.
If you wish, you may repay him with the like thereof,
without exceeding it;
and if you wish, you may forgive him.
For pardoning is closer to righteousness
and more profound in nobility,
in accordance with the words of Allah the Exalted:
“The guerdon of an ill-deed is an ill the like thereof. But whosoever pardoneth and amendeth, his wage is the affair of Allah. Lo! He loveth not wrong-doers.” (42:40)
'So whoever pardons and makes reconciliation—his reward is due from Allah.'
If your soul urges you to retaliate,
recall his previous acts of kindness toward you and count them,
and then offset this misdeed
with an act of kindness toward him;
and do not diminish his remaining past kindness
on account of this single misdeed,
for that is the very essence of injustice.
O Yunus,
whenever you have a friend, hold firmly to him with both hands,
for acquiring a true friend is difficult."
A son of Yunus ibn 'Ubayd (may Allah have mercy on them both)
passed away,
and it was said to him: "Ibn 'Awn did not come to console you."
He replied:
"Indeed, when we are confident in the affection of a brother,
it does not harm us that he failed to come to us."
Counsel and Guidance for Companionship.
On the authority of Bakr ibn 'Abdillah al-Muzani
(may Allah have mercy on him), who said:
"A man's humility toward his brothers
increases his stature in their eyes."
Yahya ibn Mu'adh (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Let the believer have three shares of your treatment:
if you cannot benefit him, do not harm him;
if you cannot bring him joy, do not bring him grief;
and if you cannot praise him, do not disparage him."
And on the authority of Ja'far ibn Burqan, who said:
Maymun ibn Mihran (may Allah have mercy on him) said to me:
"O Ja'far,
tell me directly to my face what I dislike to hear,
for a man does not truly counsel his brother
until he tells him directly to his face what he dislikes to hear."
The poet spoke truly:
"He has cast you into a perilous wasteland,
who spends his nights concealing your faults from you."
Muhammad ibn Sirin, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"Do not honor your brother with something he dislikes."
Malik ibn Dinar, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"Every brother, companion, and associate
from whom you gain no benefit in your religion—
cast off his company."
One of the wise said:
"Do not be overly effusive in brotherhood,
only to turn away from it later,
lest your excess in intimacy be exposed
by your harshness in turning away."
Imam Malik, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"Keep company with one whose speech increases your knowledge
and whose actions call you to the state of the Hereafter.
And beware of sitting with one whose speech merely diverts you,
whose religious practice disgraces you,
and whose actions lure you toward this world."
Al-Shafi'i, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"Do not neglect your brother's rights
relying solely upon his affection."
Al-Sari al-Saqati, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"Do not accompany the wicked,
and do not let sitting with the righteous
distract you from Allah."
Ibn al-Muqaffa', may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"If someone approaches you with affection
and you wish for him not to turn away,
do not overwhelm him with excessive enthusiasm,
nor open up to him completely;
for it is human nature to pull away from one who clings too closely,
and to cling to one who keeps his distance—
except for one who disciplines himself with proper etiquette
and overcomes his natural inclinations."
'Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, heard
a man praising another,
so he asked: "Have you traveled with him?"
He replied: "No."
He asked: "Have you dealt with him in business?"
He replied: "No."
He said: "By Allah, besides Whom there is no deity,
you do not know him."
It was narrated that Malik ibn Dinar, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"Any companion from whom you derive
no good, avoid him."
It was narrated that al-Zuhri, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"When a gathering prolongs, Satan
gets a share in it."
It was narrated that Mujahid, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"Three things will purify your brother's affection for you:
that you initiate the greeting of peace when you meet him,
make room for him in the gathering,
and call him by the names most beloved to him."
And three traits stem from moral deficiency:
that you criticize in others what you commit yourself,
that you notice in others what remains hidden to you in yourself,
and that you trouble your companion with what does not concern you.
A sound and peaceful life
consists of upright speech and deed.