In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Types of men in the hadith of Umm Zara’
My husband, if I remember him, I remember his fate
After the first woman finished describing her husband
It was the turn of the second
And she said
My husband, I don't share his news
I'm afraid I won't let him go
If I remember him, I remember his reward and reward
The group pledged to mention all of her husband's conditions
But she was confused between two things
The first
She promised women not to conceal anything from her husband
The second
She hated hating her husband and talking about him
The reason for this confusion
It is her fear of what he will say to him by talking about him
She is afraid of two things
The first
To talk about it for a long time
Remember all his apparent and hidden faults
Al-Asbahani, may God have mercy on him, said
And she said, “I don’t broadcast his news.”
That is, I do not publish news about it
I'm afraid I won't let him go
That is, I do not leave any of his experience behind
Affliction and ugliness are defects
Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said
She said, “I don’t broadcast his news.”
I'm afraid I won't leave him
That is, leave his speech
And it's back to the news
That is, because of its length and abundance
If I started it, I wouldn't be able to finish it
This means that this man's disadvantages are very many
Some are uglier than others
Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said
That is, if I was told about any of his faults and shortcomings
It led to mentioning something else even uglier
Her companions pledged not to conceal any of his characteristics from them
She hated what she had contracted with them
She went to cover her husband's faults because they were many
You did not want to mention some without others
And if she mentions one thing, it causes another to be mentioned
She saw constipation first
Her words also indicate that her heart is full of him
She had not spoken to anyone before this council about her concerns with her husband
This is one of the mistakes of women
They carry their worries alone
If the problem gets bigger, run
It became difficult to solve the problem
Advice for those in this situation
To turn to someone who advises her to solve her problems
Who you trust are good and righteous people
From scholars, preachers, or reformers
It is not enough for her to broadcast her concerns to women like her
They have no advice for her
Rather, it is dangerous in spreading the conditions of marital life between women
Those who are not known for their knowledge, righteousness, or ability to solve problems
To broadcast these matters to them
It may compound the problem
And your heart warms to your husband
Because she may suffer like you
It increases your worry over their worry
You may be talking about all men
She describes them as unjust
So give your heart to them all
The second thing this woman is afraid of
It is divorce
Abu Abbas Al-Qurtubi, may God have mercy on him, said
It means that if she described her husband's condition, she mentioned his faults
And if you do that
She was afraid of leaving him
She hates him breaking up with the ties between them
Her fear of divorce
It has several meanings
The most important of which is that she loves him and hates leaving him
This is what Al-Qurtubi said
The relationship between them is a love relationship
With all its reprehensible qualities
Except she loves him
Some may not be able to understand this difficult equation
Love and bad qualities
This is because we did not understand women and their nature
And her way of thinking
Some men may not realize the great love that their women have for them
Great attachment to them
Either because they are busy with their personal lives
Or in practical life and earning a living
Or by not thinking about the issue at all
The original, honorable men
That women do not like or want divorce
Even if you ask for it during problems
The state of anger makes everything possible
Because the angry person does not know what to say
This does not mean, dear man
To take advantage of a woman's love for you
So you continue to hurt her with the qualities in you that she does not like
Rather, the wisest of men
He who invests in the honesty of those around him in his criticism of him
By changing his bad traits
The woman is afraid of what her husband will say to her
Another important benefit
It is thinking about the consequences of things before undertaking them
This indicates that this second woman is very rational
She thinks about the outcome of things
A far cry from the blameworthy haste
Which may ruin her life in the future
Her heart is filled with remorse
She regrets the past
This woman's behavior also indicates her patience with her husband
She treated him well
It is unimaginable for a man to have such bad morals
He meets a woman with the same character as him
Then he does not divorce her
As indicated by this woman’s words
She must control her tongue when talking about her husband
Controlling the tongue is one of the most important morals that saves one from Hell
It indicates a high level of reason and contemplation
Before giving the speech and speaking it
This can only be imagined by those who have balance and self-control
Especially when she does it
This is a patient, rational woman
Think about the outcome of things
She has the ability to control her tongue
Keeper of her husband's secrets
And his flaws are hidden
But she was plagued by an apparently hidden husband
Good dealing with people
It is poorly treated inside the house
Its disadvantages are very many
Its harm is only to his family
Judge Ayyab, may God have mercy on him, said
And I see, and God knows best
It was apparently hidden
Reply Albat
She did not want to tear off his cover
And if she spoke
What her companions had agreed upon
Revealed his hidden ugliness
She was in bad shape
Her greatest concern for him was that which had not appeared before
But even if she waved, she did not declare it
You explained and explained more beautifully
It has been broadcast
And if she says I don't broadcast
The source must exhale
Who is blessed with such a sane woman?
It is not appropriate for him to continue his mistake in dealing with her
It is a blessing from God Almighty upon him
You need to thank
Giving thanks for grace begins with changing the soul
And commitment to the truth
And create good morals
I advise men to act on this hadith
Following the example of the Holy Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace
He followed his example in his dealings with his family
On the authority of Aisha, may God be pleased with her, she said
The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, said
The best of you is the best to his family
I am the best of you to my family
Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi
Ibn Battar, may God have mercy on him, said
This clearly indicates that what is best for a person and good for him
Be patient with the harm of his family and turn a blind eye to them
And forgiveness for the harm he suffers from them in himself
Without what was in God's essence
This is due to what Omar, may God be pleased with him, mentioned
On the authority of the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace
Of his patience with the evil that befell him from the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace
And he gave them to him and abandoned them for him
It was not mentioned that the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, punished them for that
Rather, he mentioned that Omar was the one who advised them against it, rather than the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace
And in the same way as Omar mentioned, the creation of the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace
News continued about him
Is there anyone like him who mourned his nation, peace and blessings be upon him?
Ibn Uthaymeen, may God have mercy on him, said
This is the best of people
He is the best to his family
If there is good in you
So keep it with the people closest to you
Let him be the first to benefit from this goodness
This is the opposite of what some people do today
You find that he has a bad attitude towards his family
Good manners with others
This is a big mistake
Your family is more deserving of good behavior
Have good manners with them
Because they are the ones who are with you day and night
Secretly and openly
If something happens to you
They were injured with you
If you please, they will walk with you
If you are sad, they will be sad with you
Your treatment with them should be better than your treatment with foreigners
The best of people are the best to their families
How are you, honorable man, with your family?
Which type are you with your wife?
We will continue in an upcoming meeting, God willing
Praise be to God, Lord of the worlds