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In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

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The categories of husbands in the hadith of Umm Zar'.

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"Gently, O so-and-so, do not break the glassware!"

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The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) likened women to glass vessels.

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And the nature of glass is that it shatters easily.

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Thus, he commanded men to show consideration and gentleness.

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It is narrated in the hadith of Anas Ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said:

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The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had a camel-driver named Anjashah,

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and he had a beautiful voice.

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So the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to him:

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"Gently, O Anjashah, do not break the glassware!"

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Qatadah said:

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"He meant the delicate women."

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Narrated by al-Bukhari.

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Ibn Battal (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

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"Because when the camels are stirred by the chanting

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and hasten their pace because of it,

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it is feared that the women might fall,

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and thus suffer the same breaking that happens to glass vessels.

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Indeed, the mere rapid movement of the camels and the excessive swaying while they are atop them

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exhausts them and harms their bodies, even without falling."

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Abu al-Abbas al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

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"He meant by it the delicate women,

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and he likened them to glass vessels

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due to how quickly they are affected

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and their lack of physical endurance.

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He feared that driving the pace and speeding up would cause some of them to fall,

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or cause them pain from the excessive motion and jostling

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that results from speed and haste."

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There is another meaning pointed out by al-Qadi 'Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him),

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as he said:

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"He likened them to glass due to the fragility of their resolves,

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and glass breaks easily;

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and Anjashah was chanting for their camels,

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singing poetry and rhymed verses containing love-themes,

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so he could not be sure it would not entice them

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or that his chanting would touch their hearts,

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hence he ordered him to refrain from that."

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A woman is tender-hearted like a glass vessel;

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a bitter word breaks her.

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If a woman cannot bear a hurtful word due to the tenderness of her heart,

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how then could she bear someone who strikes her body and her face,

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twists her arm,

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and acts as though he were in a wrestling ring?

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Whoever wishes to emulate the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)

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in his treatment of his wife,

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let him reflect upon this hadith:

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On the authority of 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said:

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"The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) never struck

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anything with his hand—

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neither a woman nor a servant—

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except when fighting in the cause of Allah.

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Nor was any harm ever done to him for which he took revenge upon the perpetrator,

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unless one of the sacred boundaries of Allah was violated,

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in which case he would take retribution for the sake of Allah, Mighty and Majestic."

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Narrated by Muslim.

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Reflect, dear brother husband,

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upon the Prophetic morals within this Seerah:

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he never struck with his hand,

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and he never took revenge for his own self.

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This is the Prophetic wisdom in interpersonal conduct.

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Indeed, a man's haste in resorting to striking his wife

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is clear proof of a lack of wisdom and sound judgment.

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Had he reflected for a moment,

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he would have found alternatives before striking,

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and resolved the matter in a better and more lasting way.

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But it is haste conjoined with anger and vindication of the ego.

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Looking at the Seerah of the Prophet (peace be upon him)

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in his counsel to his Companions

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regarding how to treat their wives,

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we find that he directs them toward gentleness and good companionship,

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and clarifies that striking—

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even if permitted in specific cases with strict conditions—

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is neither the first resort nor the ideal solution

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that a sensible man begins with.

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Here, dear brother husband, are some hadiths:

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On the authority of Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:

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I said, "O Messenger of Allah,

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what are the rights of our wives upon us, and what should we avoid?"

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He said, "Approach your tilth whenever you wish,

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feed her when you eat,

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clothe her when you clothe yourself,

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do not revile her face, and do not strike her."

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Narrated by Abu Dawud.

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Thus, he forbade him from striking her and from saying:

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"May Allah uglify your face!"

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In reflecting upon this prohibition:

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a man initially approached the woman

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only after looking at her face and admiring it;

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how then can he revile a face he chose himself and desired,

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and spent wealth to be united with?

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The prohibition against reviling indicates the impermissibility of humiliation and degradation,

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and shows that a hurtful word

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may leave a deeper impact than a physical blow,

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because it penetrates the heart and its traces endure.

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This is part of the perfection of his guidance (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)

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in building households

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upon the foundation of dignity and good companionship,

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not upon insult and belittlement.

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In the lengthy hadith of Laqit Ibn Sabirah, he said:

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I said, "O Messenger of Allah,

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I have a wife who has something sharp in her tongue"—

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meaning foul language.

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He said, "Divorce her then."

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He replied, "O Messenger of Allah,

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she has been a companion to me, and I have children with her."

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He said, "Then command her"—

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meaning: admonish her—

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"for if there is any good in her, she will comply;

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and do not beat your wife as you beat your bondwoman."

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Narrated by Abu Dawud.

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Al-Khattabi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

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"His saying:

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'Do not beat your wife as you beat your bondwoman':

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for al-dha'inah refers to the wife,

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and she is called dha'inah

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because she travels (tadh'anu) with the husband

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and moves wherever he moves.

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There is nothing in this that prohibits striking them

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or makes it unlawful for husbands when necessary,

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for Allah Almighty has permitted that in His saying:

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'Admonish them, forsake them in bed, and strike them.'

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Rather, it contains a prohibition against severe, agonizing beating,

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as slaves are beaten

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according to the customs of those who deem beating them permissible

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and mistreat their charges.

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Citing the beating of slaves as an example

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does not necessitate that beating them is permissible;

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rather, it was mentioned here by way of censuring their conduct,

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and forbidding him from emulating it."

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On the authority of Iyas Ibn 'Abdillah Ibn Abi Dhubab (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:

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The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

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"Do not strike the female servants of Allah."

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Then 'Umar came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said:

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"The women have become emboldened against their husbands."

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So he granted a concession to strike them.

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Thereupon, many women surrounded the family of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him),

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complaining about their husbands.

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So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

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"Many women have gone around the family of Muhammad,

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complaining about their husbands;

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those [husbands] are not the best among you."

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Narrated by Abu Dawud.

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Al-Khattabi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

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"His word 'dha'irna'

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means bad character and defiance toward husbands;

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according to this, its meaning is

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that they became insolent toward their husbands

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and disregarded their rights.

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The hadith contains the fiqh

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that disciplining women regarding the withholding of marital rights is permissible,

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provided it is a non-severe blow.

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It also contains a clarification that being patient with their ill-temper

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and overlooking what comes from them is superior."

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Al-Tibi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

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"He negated their being among the best,

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since they did not show patience and did not endure their annoyance."

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Do you wish, dear brother husband,

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to be deprived of being among the best

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through your lack of patience with a woman of your own choosing,

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with whom you have lived for years,

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and who bore you sons and daughters?

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On the authority of Sulayman Ibn 'Amr Ibn al-Ahwas:

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he said, my father told me that he witnessed the Farewell Pilgrimage

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with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).

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He praised Allah, extolled Him,

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reminded, and admonished.

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He mentioned a narrative in the hadith,

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saying: "Behold, treat women well,

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for they are like captives under your care;

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you possess nothing more from them than that,

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unless they commit manifest indecency.

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If they do so, forsake them in bed

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and strike them with a non-severe blow.

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But if they obey you, seek no means against them."

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Narrated by al-Tirmidhi.

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Abu al-Abbas al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

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"'For they are like captives ('awan) under your care':

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'awan is the plural of 'aniyah, which means a captive,

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and al-'ani is the captive,

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because she is bound to the right of the husband.

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Thus, a woman is like a captive with her husband:

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she cannot go out except with his permission,

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nor can she marry another because she is under his marital bond;

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she belongs exclusively to him, with no one sharing her with him."

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The great Prophetic injunction is:

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"Behold, treat women well!"

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So are you, dear brother husband,

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among those who treat their wives well?

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I ask Allah that you be so,

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and I seek refuge in Allah that you be

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among those about whom the seventh woman said:

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"Every flaw is found in him:

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he fractures your head, or breaks your bone,

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or combines both against you."

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We will continue in our next session, if Allah wills.

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And all praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds.