Summary of the Concepts of Ahl al-Sunnah Marriage in Islam and Its Purposes In Islam, marriage is not merely a gratification of animalistic, instinctive desires between a man and a woman, like the relationship between males and females among most animals, nor is it unregulated passion and romance lacking disciplined order, as is prevalent today in non-Muslim lands. Rather, it is a sacred bond between spouses, having noble goals and lofty purposes. The most important of these are: First: Preserving the chastity and moral purity of both spouses through an organized, Islamically lawful path, as Allah Almighty says: ◁ ...All others beyond these are lawful for you... ▷ “And all married women (are forbidden unto you) save those (captives) whom your right hands possess. It is a decree of Allah for you. Lawful unto you are all beyond those mentioned, so that ye seek them with your wealth in honest wedlock, not debauchery. And those of whom ye seek content (by marrying them), give unto them their portions as a duty. And there is no sin for you in what ye do by mutual agreement after the duty (hath been done). Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Wise.” (4:24) And in another verse: “This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and live with them in honour, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter.” (5:5) Taking secret lovers refers to committing fornication with paramours. Marriage is called "ihsan" (fortification/chastity)— meaning protection and safeguarding— because of the mutual chastity it affords both spouses. And Allah Almighty says: ◁ Marry off the single among you and the righteous of your male and female slaves. ▷ And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "O young men! Whoever among you can afford to marry, let him marry, for it lowers the gaze and best guards chastity. And whoever is unable, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him." Agreed upon. All of this establishes in the hearts of believers that bachelorhood and staying unmarried is a temporary state that one must strive to bring to an end and overcome whatever obstacles hinder it. Marriage thus becomes, in the customary understanding of believers, an act of obedience and a means of drawing close to Allah Almighty. Second: Establishing a Muslim family in which the rights of both spouses are observed, as indicated by the words of Allah Almighty: ◁ ...Who created you from a single soul, ▷ ◁ and created from it its mate... ▷ For wives were created from men, in that the wife of Adam (peace be upon him) was created from his rib. Thus, between men and women lies the closest kinship, the strongest bond, and the most sacred relationship, as Allah Almighty says: “It is made lawful for you to go in unto your wives on the night of the fast. They are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them. Allah is Aware that ye were deceiving yourselves in this respect and He hath turned in mercy toward you and relieved you. So hold intercourse with them and seek that which Allah hath ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white thread becometh distinct to you from the black thread of the dawn. Then strictly observe the fast till nightfall and touch them not, but be at your devotions in the mosques. These are the limits imposed by Allah, so approach them not. Thus Allah expoundeth His revelation to mankind that they may ward off (evil).” (2:187) It is a connection involving the intimate blending of one soul with another. Therefore, the Muslim family and the Muslim home are a place of tranquility wherein affection and mercy flourish, as Allah Almighty says: “And of His signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect.” (30:21) ◁ ...that you may find tranquility in them... ▷ “And of His signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect.” (30:21) This is the most magnificent and precise depiction of the marital relationship and the formation of the Muslim home. Islam does not stop at these spiritual indications and inspiring nuances; rather, it follows them up with practical regulations and legislative safeguards that guarantee the rights of each party. Third: Increasing the offspring of the Muslims. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Marry the loving and fertile, for I will boast of your great numbers before the other nations." Narrated by Abu Dawud, al-Nasa'i, and Ahmad, and authenticated by al-Albani. Guardianship (Qawamah) Allah Almighty has established for the man in his home the role of guardianship over the woman, for Allah Almighty says: “Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” (4:34) “Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” (4:34) “Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” (4:34) This guardianship does not imply the erasure of the woman's personality in the home or in human society, as some believe out of ignorance of what the Islamic law requires of us. Rather, it is a matter rooted in functional reasons, stemming from innate disposition and natural capacity. For Allah, Mighty and Majestic, made among the functions of a woman pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and child-rearing. These are momentous tasks requiring gentleness, affection, prompt responsiveness, and an immediate meeting of the demands of childhood. All of these are distinctive qualities of women, setting them apart from men. Therefore, it is not fair that a woman be burdened, alongside these heavy responsibilities, with the duty of earning a living, providing financially for the household, and managing its administrative affairs— matters requiring qualities she does not naturally possess, but which are instead characteristic of men, such as deliberate deliberation in thought, studying issues from all perspectives, as well as strength and decisiveness in firm decisions. Therefore, Allah tasked men with all of that, granting them leadership and guardianship in those matters, so that they may fulfill the role assigned to them. Thus, if this balance is disrupted, and duties and functions are swapped, or if one party monopolizes all of them to the exclusion of the other, discord inevitably creeps between the spouses, the home becomes unstable, and its problems multiply. Truthful are the words of Allah Almighty, Who said: “Should He not know what He created? And He is the Subtile, the Aware.” (67:14) ◁ ...and He is the Subtle, the All-Aware. ▷ Guardianship is also an indispensable necessity, because the home, like any institution, must have a single leader who bears ultimate responsibility for its management, after consultation and mutual understanding with his partners within it. His guardianship does not negate the presence of partners and those working in its various roles, nor does it erase their individuality. Furthermore, guardianship is a right granted to the man that is balanced by the obligation to spend financially on the home, protect it, and manage its affairs. In short, it is a guardianship inextricably tied to compassion, care, protection, and proper conduct toward the wife and children. It is a complementary relationship between man and woman; hence, it is a grave error to turn this relationship into one of conflict and antagonism. Polygyny and Justice Between Wives Allah has permitted men to marry up to four wives, stipulating justice between them as a condition for that. Allah Almighty says: “And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice.” (4:3) ◁ ...two or three or four... ▷ “And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice.” (4:3) ◁ ...or those your right hands possess... ▷ “And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice.” (4:3) The required justice is justice in treatment, financial support, and companionship. As for justice in heart felt feelings and emotions, no one is held accountable for it, because it is beyond human capacity. This is what Allah referred to in the other verse: “Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (4:129) “Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so). But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (4:129) So let no one attempt to use this verse as proof for prohibiting polygyny, for that would be pitting verses of the Book against one another and applying them to meanings for which they were not revealed. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is the finest example of practicing justice among his wives in financial support and companionship. Yet despite this, all of his wives (may Allah be pleased with them) recognized his deep love for the Mother of the Believers, 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), and that he singled her out with a special heartfelt affection, without blaming him for that. The Importance of the Home and Family for the Muslim Child A child grows up gradually within a Muslim home and family, receiving during that time an ample store of love, cooperation, mutual support, and constructive care. He experiences the mother's tenderness and affection, alongside the father's guardianship and protection, observing the mutual love and mercy between them. Consequently, he grows up balanced, upright, and sound in his natural disposition and emotions. As for the child deprived of this natural nurture, his upbringing becomes abnormal and distorted in many aspects of his life, no matter how many means of comfort and education are provided for him outside the family environment. The very first thing he loses is the sense of love and tenderness, because a child naturally longs to have his mother all to himself during the first two years of his life, in which he relies primarily on her and cannot bear to share her with anyone else. Children in orphanages and nurseries share the caregivers and nannies who look after them; in fact, caregivers alternate over them in shifts based on scheduled work hours, resulting in emotional disturbance and a disruption in the child's innate disposition, which may even cause children to harbor resentment toward one another. Furthermore, his lack of a single supervising authority leads to an unstable, unsettled personality. Indeed, public institutional child-care experiments reveal daily the profound wisdom in making the family the foundational building block of a healthy society— a society that Islam aims to establish on a sound basis aligned with human nature. The Family and Honoring the Rights of Parents and Relatives In a Muslim family, children should be raised to uphold the rights of parents and magnify their status, as the command to honor them is paired with the command to worship Allah alone in monotheism. “And serve Allah. Ascribe no thing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and unto the neighbour who is of kin (unto you) and the neighbour who is not of kin, and the fellow-traveller and the wayfarer and (the slaves) whom your right hands possess. Lo! Allah loveth not such as are proud and boastful,” (4:36) Indeed, doing good is not restricted to parents alone— even though it takes precedence over all other forms of goodness— but extends to all relatives, neighbors, orphans, the needy, and so forth. The remainder of the verse states: ◁ ...and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those your right hands possess... ▷ “And serve Allah. Ascribe no thing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and unto the neighbour who is of kin (unto you) and the neighbour who is not of kin, and the fellow-traveller and the wayfarer and (the slaves) whom your right hands possess. Lo! Allah loveth not such as are proud and boastful,” (4:36) The end of the verse indicates that neglecting these duties and falling short in them is a form of boastfulness, arrogance, and pride. Honoring the rights of parents is not confined to the period of living with them in a single family and household. Rather, when a son or daughter grows up and marries, separating from the parents to form an independent family, and the parents grow old and advanced in age, at that stage, dutifulness and care toward them become even more paramount, and neglecting them is strictly forbidden. Almighty Allah says: “Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23) “Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23) “Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23) “And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.” (17:24) “And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.” (17:24) Thus, a son should not become preoccupied by his new family and responsibilities to the neglect of his parents. The primary role of a Muslim woman Islamic law has designated a woman's primary role to be taking care of her husband's home, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "And the woman is a guardian over her husband's house, and she is responsible for her charge." Agreed upon. Indeed, the true essence of a home and tranquility is only realized when the woman creates it by spreading tenderness, affection, and proper upbringing within it— unlike the woman who works outside the home, who brings back nothing but exhaustion, fatigue, and burnout. While necessity may permit a woman to work outside her home, it often leads to disastrous consequences regarding domestic peace and stability— something from which working women suffer in the disbelieving West as well as in our contemporary societies. Therefore, a woman should not work outside her home except within the bounds of necessity and pressing need. The safety and security of the home and family Islam aims to foster peace within the home, while simultaneously addressing the individual conscience and human society at large; for all these are interconnected links bound together in mutual influence. To foster this peace, Islam has guaranteed several measures and urged their implementation within the Muslim home. Among these, first: The marital bond must be based on mutual consent, without coercing either party into it, especially the woman. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "A virgin is not to be married until her permission is sought, nor a previously married woman until her consent is obtained." It was asked, "O Messenger of Allah, how is her permission given?" He replied, "If she remains silent." Narrated by al-Bukhari. In order for this consent to be genuine, both prospective spouses should see each other before marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah when he intended to marry: "Look at her, for it is more likely to foster love and harmony between you." Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasa'i, and Ahmad, and authenticated by al-Albani. Second: Marriage must also be publicized and witnessed; it must not take place in secret as if it were a crime, as occurs in temporary marriage (mut'ah). There must be an explicit offer and acceptance, witnessed by witnesses, so as to eliminate any doubt regarding the legitimacy of this union. Third: Marriage must be contracted with the intention of permanence, not temporary duration, so that it does not become a mut'ah marriage, whose purpose is not to build a Muslim family or a Muslim home. Fourth: Islam emphasizes the concept of tranquility, love, and mercy between spouses. Fifth: It assigns the responsibility of guardianship (qawamah) to the man so he can properly manage this partnership. Sixth: It designates the woman's primary role as taking care of her husband's house. Seventh: Islam forbids display of adornment (tabarruj) and the free mixing of sexes, to prevent any temptation between men and women— including married women and married men— when they meet with so-called male or female work colleagues. A man might find his female colleague elegant, beautified, and revealingly dressed, whereas he does not see her in her true, natural domestic state as he sees his own wife. Allah Almighty said to women: "And do not display your finery like the displaying of the former days of ignorance." He commanded them to wear the hijab, and commanded both men and women to lower their gaze to prevent temptation between them. Conversely, a woman should adorn herself at home for her husband and not neglect her appearance, so as to keep her husband chaste and prevent him from being repelled by her or looking elsewhere outside his lawful family bond. Eighth: Islamic law accords privacy and sanctity to homes, making it obligatory to seek permission before entering them. Allah Almighty says: ▷ O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome and greet their inhabitants. ◁ “O ye who believe! Enter not houses other than your own without first announcing your presence and invoking peace upon the folk thereof. That is better for you, that ye may be heedful.” (24:27) “O ye who believe! Enter not houses other than your own without first announcing your presence and invoking peace upon the folk thereof. That is better for you, that ye may be heedful.” (24:27) “O ye who believe! Enter not houses other than your own without first announcing your presence and invoking peace upon the folk thereof. That is better for you, that ye may be heedful.” (24:27) Ninth: It forbids spying on homes and looking inside to uncover private affairs. Allah Almighty says: "And do not spy." And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "If someone looks into a people's house without their permission, and they gouge out his eye, no penalty or retaliation is incurred." Narrated by Abu Dawud, and authenticated by al-Albani. Tenth: It commands the safeguarding of private parts and privacy, even among members of the same household— even if they are children— excluding none except spouses between themselves. Allah Almighty says: “O ye who believe! Let your slaves, and those of you who have not come to puberty, ask leave of you at three times (before they come into your presence): Before the prayer of dawn, and when ye lay aside your raiment for the heat of noon, and after the prayer of night. Three times of privacy for you. It is no sin for them or for you at other times, when some of you go round attendant upon others (if they come into your presence without leave). Thus Allah maketh clear the revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.” (24:58) ▷ ...those whom your right hands possess... ◁ “O ye who believe! Let your slaves, and those of you who have not come to puberty, ask leave of you at three times (before they come into your presence): Before the prayer of dawn, and when ye lay aside your raiment for the heat of noon, and after the prayer of night. Three times of privacy for you. It is no sin for them or for you at other times, when some of you go round attendant upon others (if they come into your presence without leave). Thus Allah maketh clear the revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.” (24:58) “O ye who believe! Let your slaves, and those of you who have not come to puberty, ask leave of you at three times (before they come into your presence): Before the prayer of dawn, and when ye lay aside your raiment for the heat of noon, and after the prayer of night. Three times of privacy for you. It is no sin for them or for you at other times, when some of you go round attendant upon others (if they come into your presence without leave). Thus Allah maketh clear the revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.” (24:58) “O ye who believe! Let your slaves, and those of you who have not come to puberty, ask leave of you at three times (before they come into your presence): Before the prayer of dawn, and when ye lay aside your raiment for the heat of noon, and after the prayer of night. Three times of privacy for you. It is no sin for them or for you at other times, when some of you go round attendant upon others (if they come into your presence without leave). Thus Allah maketh clear the revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.” (24:58) “O ye who believe! Let your slaves, and those of you who have not come to puberty, ask leave of you at three times (before they come into your presence): Before the prayer of dawn, and when ye lay aside your raiment for the heat of noon, and after the prayer of night. Three times of privacy for you. It is no sin for them or for you at other times, when some of you go round attendant upon others (if they come into your presence without leave). Thus Allah maketh clear the revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.” (24:58) ▷ ...three times of privacy for you... ◁ ▷ ...There is no blame upon you nor upon them after these [times]... ◁ “O ye who believe! Let your slaves, and those of you who have not come to puberty, ask leave of you at three times (before they come into your presence): Before the prayer of dawn, and when ye lay aside your raiment for the heat of noon, and after the prayer of night. Three times of privacy for you. It is no sin for them or for you at other times, when some of you go round attendant upon others (if they come into your presence without leave). Thus Allah maketh clear the revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.” (24:58) ▷ ...Thus does Allah make clear to you the verses... ◁ ▷ ...and Allah is Knowing and Wise. ◁ “And when the children among you come to puberty then let them ask leave even as those before them used to ask it. Thus Allah maketh clear His revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.” (24:59) “And when the children among you come to puberty then let them ask leave even as those before them used to ask it. Thus Allah maketh clear His revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise.” (24:59) ▷ ...Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses... ◁ ▷ ...and Allah is Knowing and Wise. ◁ Eleventh: It commands justice between co-wives, so that every wife lives secure from injustice, as well as justice among children in gifts and treatment. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Fear Allah and be just among your children." Agreed upon. Twelfth: Even divorce— which seemingly appears to disrupt family harmony— is, in reality, a means of security and peace when living together becomes impossible between spouses, and the children are negatively impacted by this strained living situation. However, for divorce to serve as a means of security and peace, its execution must abide by sacred legal rulings: it must be the last resort, after attempts at reconciliation between both parties, including sending an arbitrator from each family to try to reconcile them. If that ultimately fails, then divorce becomes necessary, while maintaining honorable treatment between both parties and their families. Thirteenth: Most importantly, above all the aforementioned points, to ensure the security and peace of the Muslim home, is preserving the integrity of faith and noble character among family members, commanding them to obey Allah and protecting them from the causes of punishment in this life and the Hereafter. Allah Almighty says: "O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones." The evils found in homes arise from violating the aforementioned principles, particularly the last point; all of that constitutes objectionable evil within homes. In addition, there are practices that have currently spread in Muslim households, including: First: Laxity regarding depictions of animate beings, such as those found in illustrated magazines, especially women's magazines; this prevents angels from entering the home and deprives it of blessings. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "The angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or pictures." Agreed upon. Second: Introducing uncensored television into homes, given the vast evil and great sin it contains that angers Allah Almighty. How many family members— male and female—have been corrupted because of this great evil, becoming lost and straying from the right path! So let the head of the household fear his Lord, and know that he will be held accountable for that on the Day of Resurrection. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "All of you are guardians, and each of you is responsible for his charge..." to the end of the hadith. Third: Employing foreign domestic workers, both male and female, in homes without observing the rules of hijab and without preventing free mixing between the sexes— a practice that has become widespread and rampant among Muslim families, even the families of preachers and practicing Muslims; there is no power nor strength except in Allah, the Most High, the Most Great. Fourth: Laxity regarding women's modesty within large extended family households comprising several families, where mixing freely among brothers and all their wives is common without adhering to the proper Islamic hijab. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Beware of entering upon women." A man from the Ansar asked: "O Messenger of Allah, what about the in-law?" He replied: "The in-law is death." Agreed upon. This alone serves as a sufficient deterrent against mixing male in-laws and relatives in a single place. Contemporary issues threatening the Muslim family Among the dangerous issues threatening the Muslim family and home: First: The issue of women's liberation, an agenda championed by atheists, secularists, hypocrites, and their ilk, who claim they want women's freedom and their rescue from oppression and servitude. Yet the reality of their call They call on her to abandon the hijab and freely mix with men, branding this as the liberation of women. Yet they forget that Allah, Mighty and Majestic is He, is the One who guaranteed women's rights and honored her, as is abundantly clear throughout the Qur'an and Sunnah. What they advocate for is, in reality, the destruction of the family. Second, and even worse than the former, is what is currently known as the "independent woman." This is a movement championed by feminist organizations known as feminism. It goes beyond the mere concept of "women's liberation" by promoting the idea that a woman has no need for a man, advocating that she live independently in her own home, with no objection to her bringing home whichever lovers or paramours she wishes. She earns her own living, and possesses, by their claim, full rights and freedom to live however she pleases. Recently in America, a counter-feminist movement has emerged against this, calling women to return to their primary role in the home and raising children, which carries political influence in America today in particular. Third, and the most dangerous of all, is the widespread support currently given to homosexual men and women. They permit a woman to be satisfied with another woman, and a man with another man— which is the exact deed of the people of Lot, and a sufficient crime and indecency in itself. They advocate for them to live together in one household, claiming that this constitutes a family, and they deceptively label this group—to embellish their actions— as "homosexuals." In the West, they have enacted laws and regulations that legalize the marriage of a man to a man, and a woman to a woman. Indeed, it has escalated today to criminalizing anyone who opposes this, threatening them with severe sanctions. By Allah, this is the very essence of declaring lawful what is forbidden and legislating alongside Allah. So let the Muslims hold fast to their Divine Law, firmly reject these ideas, and await Allah's wrath, curse, and destruction upon anyone who permits such acts. “And he of Egypt who purchased him said unto his wife: Receive him honourably. Perchance he may prove useful to us or we may adopt him as a son. Thus we established Joseph in the land that We might teach him the interpretation of events. And Allah was predominant in His career, but most of mankind know not.” (12:21) "But most of mankind do not know."