1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:16,980 Categories of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar' 3 00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:23,219 A Wife's Reaction to Being Struck 4 00:00:23,219 --> 00:00:28,219 In the previous talk, I addressed the first point regarding striking: 5 00:00:28,219 --> 00:00:32,219 namely, its permissibility alongside the preference of avoiding it. 6 00:00:32,219 --> 00:00:35,219 And now for the second point: 7 00:00:35,219 --> 00:00:39,539 when does striking serve as a disciplinary measure? 8 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,539 Striking is a disciplinary measure 9 00:00:42,539 --> 00:00:46,539 stipulated by the Qur'an for dealing with a recalcitrant wife, 10 00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:49,539 and stipulated by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) 11 00:00:49,539 --> 00:00:52,539 regarding training a child to pray 12 00:00:52,539 --> 00:00:55,670 once they reach the age of ten and do not pray. 13 00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:58,670 Yet this striking is of no avail unless it adheres to 14 00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:01,670 the legal conditions governing the manner of striking 15 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,829 and when it may be used. 16 00:01:04,829 --> 00:01:07,829 Whenever a man violates the conditions of this measure 17 00:01:07,829 --> 00:01:10,829 in disciplining his wife, 18 00:01:10,829 --> 00:01:13,829 no benefit can be expected from it; 19 00:01:13,829 --> 00:01:16,829 rather, the woman's reaction is expected to turn out 20 00:01:16,829 --> 00:01:20,019 contrary to what the man desires and hopes for. 21 00:01:20,019 --> 00:01:23,019 The husband faces two scenarios: 22 00:01:23,019 --> 00:01:26,019 The first scenario is that he abides 23 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,019 by what the Sharia has prescribed regarding the manner of striking 24 00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:32,019 and the stage at which it is employed, 25 00:01:32,019 --> 00:01:35,019 following the steps that precede striking, 26 00:01:35,019 --> 00:01:38,019 such as admonition and forsaking them in bed, 27 00:01:38,019 --> 00:01:41,019 should the woman persist in her recalcitrance; 28 00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:44,019 although it remains better not to resort to striking, 29 00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:47,019 following the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him). 30 00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:50,019 As stated in the hadith of 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), 31 00:01:50,019 --> 00:01:53,019 she said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) never struck 32 00:01:53,019 --> 00:01:56,019 anything at all with his hand, 33 00:01:56,019 --> 00:01:59,019 neither a woman nor a servant, 34 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:02,019 except when fighting in the cause of Allah. 35 00:02:02,019 --> 00:02:05,019 Nor was he ever harmed in any way and sought retribution 36 00:02:05,019 --> 00:02:08,020 against the perpetrator, unless one of the 37 00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:11,020 sacred bounds of Allah was violated, in which case he took retribution 38 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:14,020 for the sake of Allah, the Almighty and Majestic." Narrated 39 00:02:14,020 --> 00:02:17,120 by Muslim. Imam al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 40 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,120 "This indicates that striking a wife, a servant, 41 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,120 or an animal, even if permissible for disciplinary purposes, 42 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,979 is better avoided." 43 00:02:26,979 --> 00:02:29,979 As for the wife's reaction toward such a righteous husband, 44 00:02:29,979 --> 00:02:32,979 it falls into two cases: 45 00:02:32,979 --> 00:02:35,979 The first is if she is righteous, sensible, 46 00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:38,979 and fears Allah Almighty; 47 00:02:38,979 --> 00:02:41,979 she is then expected to return to her senses, 48 00:02:41,979 --> 00:02:44,979 obey her husband, and abandon her recalcitrance. 49 00:02:44,979 --> 00:02:47,979 The second is that she persists in recalcitrance, 50 00:02:47,979 --> 00:02:50,979 even after being struck. 51 00:02:50,979 --> 00:02:53,979 This may be due to one of two reasons: 52 00:02:53,979 --> 00:02:56,979 The first reason is that she detests him, 53 00:02:56,979 --> 00:02:59,979 is forced to remain with him, 54 00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:02,979 and is pressured by those around her, 55 00:03:02,979 --> 00:03:05,979 such as her family and friends. 56 00:03:05,979 --> 00:03:08,979 Thus, she is wronged and finds no one to support her, 57 00:03:08,979 --> 00:03:11,979 even though the Sharia grants her the right to *khul'* (no-fault divorce). 58 00:03:11,979 --> 00:03:14,979 So she may ransom herself with what he gave her 59 00:03:14,979 --> 00:03:17,979 of the bridal gift (mahr) and divorce herself, 60 00:03:17,979 --> 00:03:20,979 as in the story of the wife of Thabit ibn Qays. 61 00:03:21,979 --> 00:03:24,979 On the authority of Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both), 62 00:03:24,979 --> 00:03:27,979 he said: "The wife of Thabit ibn Qays came 63 00:03:27,979 --> 00:03:30,979 to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) 64 00:03:30,979 --> 00:03:33,979 and said: 'O Messenger of Allah, 65 00:03:33,979 --> 00:03:36,979 I do not reproach Thabit 66 00:03:36,979 --> 00:03:39,979 in his religious commitment or character, 67 00:03:39,979 --> 00:03:42,979 but I cannot bear to live with him.' 68 00:03:42,979 --> 00:03:45,979 The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 69 00:03:45,979 --> 00:03:48,979 'Will you return his orchard to him?' 70 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:53,020 She said: 'Yes.'" Narrated by al-Bukhari. 71 00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:56,080 If a woman possesses valid 72 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:59,080 legal grounds for *khul'*, 73 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,080 she is permitted to request a *khul'* divorce, 74 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,080 and a sensible man ought to accept the compensation from her 75 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,300 and not force her into a life she does not desire. 76 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:11,300 The second reason is that the woman 77 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,300 is influenced by feminist ideology, 78 00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:17,300 which calls upon her to rebel against the man 79 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:20,300 and against the teachings of Islam, 80 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,300 granting her absolute freedom 81 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,300 to act upon whatever her desires dictate, 82 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,500 while humiliating the man and undermining his authority. 83 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,500 The counsel for the husband here 84 00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:35,500 is to employ the divine guidance 85 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:38,500 in dealing with this type of woman, 86 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:41,529 as stated in His words, the Exalted: 87 00:04:41,529 --> 00:04:44,529 ﴾O you who have believed, 88 00:04:45,529 --> 00:04:48,529 it is not lawful for you to treat them with harshness in order to take away 89 00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:51,529 a part of what you have given them, 90 00:04:51,529 --> 00:04:54,529 unless they commit a clear immorality.﴿ 91 00:04:54,529 --> 00:04:57,689 Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 92 00:04:57,689 --> 00:05:00,689 "It is not permissible for a man to constrain a woman 93 00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:03,689 by mistreating and pressuring her 94 00:05:03,689 --> 00:05:06,689 so that she surrenders part of her bridal gift, 95 00:05:06,689 --> 00:05:09,689 nor may he strike her for that purpose. 96 00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:12,689 However, if she commits a clear immorality, 97 00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:15,689 he may constrain her so that she ransoms herself from him, 98 00:05:15,689 --> 00:05:18,689 and he may strike her. 99 00:05:18,689 --> 00:05:21,689 This is between the man and Allah." 100 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:25,259 So what is the immorality that permits a man 101 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:28,259 to compel her to seek *khul'* 102 00:05:28,259 --> 00:05:31,389 and return the bridal gift? 103 00:05:31,389 --> 00:05:34,389 Ibn Jarir (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 104 00:05:34,389 --> 00:05:37,389 "The most appropriate interpretation of His words, 105 00:05:37,389 --> 00:05:40,389 ﴾Unless they commit a clear immorality,﴿ 106 00:05:40,389 --> 00:05:43,389 is that it refers to any obscenity, such as foulness 107 00:05:43,389 --> 00:05:46,389 of tongue directed against her husband, 108 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:49,389 harming him, or committing unlawful sexual intercourse. 109 00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:52,389 That is because Allah, Exalted is His praise, 110 00:05:52,389 --> 00:05:55,389 encompassed through His words, 111 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:58,389 ﴾Unless they commit a clear immorality,﴿ 112 00:05:58,389 --> 00:06:01,389 every manifest and evident obscenity." 113 00:06:01,389 --> 00:06:05,189 The corruption of a woman's religious commitment through feminist ideology 114 00:06:05,189 --> 00:06:08,189 is most intolerable to a protective husband. 115 00:06:09,189 --> 00:06:12,189 For feminist ideology 116 00:06:12,189 --> 00:06:15,189 urges the woman to rebel against the man 117 00:06:15,189 --> 00:06:18,189 in every conceivable manner, 118 00:06:18,189 --> 00:06:21,189 inciting her to go out displaying her adornments and wearing perfume, 119 00:06:21,189 --> 00:06:24,189 and encouraging her to freely mix with men 120 00:06:24,189 --> 00:06:27,189 in workplaces, cafes, parties, and elsewhere, 121 00:06:27,189 --> 00:06:30,259 even if the husband does not approve of it. 122 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,259 The second scenario 123 00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:36,259 is when the man exceeds the legal limits in striking, 124 00:06:36,259 --> 00:06:39,259 beating the woman severely 125 00:06:39,259 --> 00:06:42,259 in violation of the command of the Prophet (peace be upon him). 126 00:06:42,259 --> 00:06:45,259 The woman's reaction 127 00:06:45,259 --> 00:06:48,259 in this situation 128 00:06:48,259 --> 00:06:51,259 is to seek divorce on grounds of harm inflicted upon her 129 00:06:51,259 --> 00:06:54,480 by this husband. 130 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,480 Yet the concern is that this woman's reaction might turn 131 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,480 in a direction that violates the Sharia, 132 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,480 because of this husband's violent treatment of her, 133 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,480 leading her to attribute her husband's misconduct to Islam. 134 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,480 Then the promoters of misguidance seize upon her— 135 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,480 those who advocate the destruction of families— 136 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,480 to use her as an argument for prohibiting the striking of women 137 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,480 entirely and unconditionally, 138 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,480 and to call for adopting Western frameworks, 139 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,769 such as their domestic violence laws and the like. 140 00:07:25,769 --> 00:07:28,769 Muhammad Rashid Rida (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 141 00:07:28,769 --> 00:07:31,769 "Some of those who blindly imitate the Westerners act arrogantly, 142 00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:35,769 decrying the permissibility of disciplining a recalcitrant wife, 143 00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:38,769 while they do not deem it outrageous that she rebels and exalts herself over him, 144 00:07:38,769 --> 00:07:41,769 turning him, though he is the head of the household, into a subordinate— 145 00:07:41,769 --> 00:07:44,769 or rather, an object of contempt! 146 00:07:44,769 --> 00:07:47,769 She persists in her recalcitrance, 147 00:07:47,769 --> 00:07:50,769 neither softening at his admonition and counsel, 148 00:07:50,769 --> 00:07:53,769 nor caring about his turning away and forsaking her. 149 00:07:53,769 --> 00:07:56,769 I do not know how they propose to remedy such recalcitrant wives, 150 00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:59,769 or what counsel they offer to their husbands. 151 00:08:00,769 --> 00:08:03,899 Perhaps they imagine a frail, slender, 152 00:08:03,899 --> 00:08:06,899 refined, and well-mannered woman 153 00:08:06,899 --> 00:08:09,899 oppressed by a coarse, harsh man 154 00:08:09,899 --> 00:08:12,899 who feeds his whip with her tender flesh 155 00:08:12,899 --> 00:08:15,899 and drenches it in her flowing blood, 156 00:08:15,899 --> 00:08:18,899 claiming that Allah Almighty permitted him 157 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,899 such a manner of beating, 158 00:08:21,899 --> 00:08:24,899 and fabricating accusations against her when she is innocent of any fault, 159 00:08:24,899 --> 00:08:27,899 as is frequently done by hard-hearted, 160 00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:30,899 callous men of rigid temperament. 161 00:08:30,899 --> 00:08:33,899 Far be it from Allah to permit such injustice 162 00:08:33,899 --> 00:08:36,960 or to be pleased with it! 163 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,960 Indeed, among men there is the haughty and harsh oppressor 164 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,960 who wrongs a woman out of pure aggression; 165 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,960 numerous hadiths have been transmitted regarding the counsel to treat women well 166 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,960 in rebuke of men like him, 167 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,960 and what applies to them is what the Qur'anic verse 168 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,120 prescribed regarding arbitration. 169 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,120 Likewise, among women there are 170 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,120 the spiteful, defiant, and insolent wives 171 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,120 who despise their husbands, 172 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,120 deny their favors, 173 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,120 defy them out of vanity and obstinacy, 174 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,120 and burden them beyond their endurance. 175 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:15,149 So what corruption would occur on earth 176 00:09:15,149 --> 00:09:18,149 if a pious, noble man is permitted 177 00:09:18,149 --> 00:09:21,149 to curb the arrogance of such a woman 178 00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:24,149 and bring down her haughty pride 179 00:09:24,149 --> 00:09:27,149 with a light strike to her hand 180 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:30,340 or a light slap aimed at her neck? 181 00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:33,340 Even many of their Western leaders 182 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,340 beat their educated, sophisticated wives, 183 00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:39,340 as well as those who are clothed yet naked, 184 00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:42,340 seductively swaying and leading others astray. 185 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:45,340 This is practiced by their philosophers, their scholars, 186 00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:48,340 their kings, and their princes; 187 00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:51,340 it is a necessity indispensable even to those who go to extremes 188 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:54,340 in honoring those educated women. 189 00:09:54,340 --> 00:09:57,340 How then can its permissibility out of necessity be denounced 190 00:09:57,340 --> 00:10:00,340 in a universal religion meant for both bedouins and urban dwellers, 191 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:03,340 encompassing all categories of humanity?" 192 00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:07,080 So take heed, dear husband, 193 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,080 of the consequences of your actions with your wife; 194 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,080 adhere to wisdom in resolving your marital issues, 195 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,080 and consult the people of knowledge, 196 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,080 for you will never fail to find goodness in seeking counsel. 197 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,909 We shall continue in a future session, if Allah wills. 198 00:10:22,909 --> 00:10:25,909 And all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all worlds.