WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.000 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:16.980 Categories of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar' 00:00:16.980 --> 00:00:23.219 A Wife's Reaction to Being Struck 00:00:23.219 --> 00:00:28.219 In the previous talk, I addressed the first point regarding striking: 00:00:28.219 --> 00:00:32.219 namely, its permissibility alongside the preference of avoiding it. 00:00:32.219 --> 00:00:35.219 And now for the second point: 00:00:35.219 --> 00:00:39.539 when does striking serve as a disciplinary measure? 00:00:39.539 --> 00:00:42.539 Striking is a disciplinary measure 00:00:42.539 --> 00:00:46.539 stipulated by the Qur'an for dealing with a recalcitrant wife, 00:00:46.539 --> 00:00:49.539 and stipulated by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) 00:00:49.539 --> 00:00:52.539 regarding training a child to pray 00:00:52.539 --> 00:00:55.670 once they reach the age of ten and do not pray. 00:00:55.670 --> 00:00:58.670 Yet this striking is of no avail unless it adheres to 00:00:58.670 --> 00:01:01.670 the legal conditions governing the manner of striking 00:01:01.670 --> 00:01:04.829 and when it may be used. 00:01:04.829 --> 00:01:07.829 Whenever a man violates the conditions of this measure 00:01:07.829 --> 00:01:10.829 in disciplining his wife, 00:01:10.829 --> 00:01:13.829 no benefit can be expected from it; 00:01:13.829 --> 00:01:16.829 rather, the woman's reaction is expected to turn out 00:01:16.829 --> 00:01:20.019 contrary to what the man desires and hopes for. 00:01:20.019 --> 00:01:23.019 The husband faces two scenarios: 00:01:23.019 --> 00:01:26.019 The first scenario is that he abides 00:01:26.019 --> 00:01:29.019 by what the Sharia has prescribed regarding the manner of striking 00:01:29.019 --> 00:01:32.019 and the stage at which it is employed, 00:01:32.019 --> 00:01:35.019 following the steps that precede striking, 00:01:35.019 --> 00:01:38.019 such as admonition and forsaking them in bed, 00:01:38.019 --> 00:01:41.019 should the woman persist in her recalcitrance; 00:01:41.019 --> 00:01:44.019 although it remains better not to resort to striking, 00:01:44.019 --> 00:01:47.019 following the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him). 00:01:47.019 --> 00:01:50.019 As stated in the hadith of 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), 00:01:50.019 --> 00:01:53.019 she said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) never struck 00:01:53.019 --> 00:01:56.019 anything at all with his hand, 00:01:56.019 --> 00:01:59.019 neither a woman nor a servant, 00:01:59.019 --> 00:02:02.019 except when fighting in the cause of Allah. 00:02:02.019 --> 00:02:05.019 Nor was he ever harmed in any way and sought retribution 00:02:05.019 --> 00:02:08.020 against the perpetrator, unless one of the 00:02:08.020 --> 00:02:11.020 sacred bounds of Allah was violated, in which case he took retribution 00:02:11.020 --> 00:02:14.020 for the sake of Allah, the Almighty and Majestic." Narrated 00:02:14.020 --> 00:02:17.120 by Muslim. Imam al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:20.120 "This indicates that striking a wife, a servant, 00:02:20.120 --> 00:02:23.120 or an animal, even if permissible for disciplinary purposes, 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:26.979 is better avoided." 00:02:26.979 --> 00:02:29.979 As for the wife's reaction toward such a righteous husband, 00:02:29.979 --> 00:02:32.979 it falls into two cases: 00:02:32.979 --> 00:02:35.979 The first is if she is righteous, sensible, 00:02:35.979 --> 00:02:38.979 and fears Allah Almighty; 00:02:38.979 --> 00:02:41.979 she is then expected to return to her senses, 00:02:41.979 --> 00:02:44.979 obey her husband, and abandon her recalcitrance. 00:02:44.979 --> 00:02:47.979 The second is that she persists in recalcitrance, 00:02:47.979 --> 00:02:50.979 even after being struck. 00:02:50.979 --> 00:02:53.979 This may be due to one of two reasons: 00:02:53.979 --> 00:02:56.979 The first reason is that she detests him, 00:02:56.979 --> 00:02:59.979 is forced to remain with him, 00:02:59.979 --> 00:03:02.979 and is pressured by those around her, 00:03:02.979 --> 00:03:05.979 such as her family and friends. 00:03:05.979 --> 00:03:08.979 Thus, she is wronged and finds no one to support her, 00:03:08.979 --> 00:03:11.979 even though the Sharia grants her the right to *khul'* (no-fault divorce). 00:03:11.979 --> 00:03:14.979 So she may ransom herself with what he gave her 00:03:14.979 --> 00:03:17.979 of the bridal gift (mahr) and divorce herself, 00:03:17.979 --> 00:03:20.979 as in the story of the wife of Thabit ibn Qays. 00:03:21.979 --> 00:03:24.979 On the authority of Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both), 00:03:24.979 --> 00:03:27.979 he said: "The wife of Thabit ibn Qays came 00:03:27.979 --> 00:03:30.979 to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) 00:03:30.979 --> 00:03:33.979 and said: 'O Messenger of Allah, 00:03:33.979 --> 00:03:36.979 I do not reproach Thabit 00:03:36.979 --> 00:03:39.979 in his religious commitment or character, 00:03:39.979 --> 00:03:42.979 but I cannot bear to live with him.' 00:03:42.979 --> 00:03:45.979 The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 00:03:45.979 --> 00:03:48.979 'Will you return his orchard to him?' 00:03:49.979 --> 00:03:53.020 She said: 'Yes.'" Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:03:53.020 --> 00:03:56.080 If a woman possesses valid 00:03:56.080 --> 00:03:59.080 legal grounds for *khul'*, 00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:02.080 she is permitted to request a *khul'* divorce, 00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:05.080 and a sensible man ought to accept the compensation from her 00:04:05.080 --> 00:04:08.300 and not force her into a life she does not desire. 00:04:08.300 --> 00:04:11.300 The second reason is that the woman 00:04:11.300 --> 00:04:14.300 is influenced by feminist ideology, 00:04:14.300 --> 00:04:17.300 which calls upon her to rebel against the man 00:04:17.300 --> 00:04:20.300 and against the teachings of Islam, 00:04:20.300 --> 00:04:23.300 granting her absolute freedom 00:04:23.300 --> 00:04:26.300 to act upon whatever her desires dictate, 00:04:26.300 --> 00:04:29.500 while humiliating the man and undermining his authority. 00:04:29.500 --> 00:04:32.500 The counsel for the husband here 00:04:32.500 --> 00:04:35.500 is to employ the divine guidance 00:04:35.500 --> 00:04:38.500 in dealing with this type of woman, 00:04:38.500 --> 00:04:41.529 as stated in His words, the Exalted: 00:04:41.529 --> 00:04:44.529 ﴾O you who have believed, 00:04:45.529 --> 00:04:48.529 it is not lawful for you to treat them with harshness in order to take away 00:04:48.529 --> 00:04:51.529 a part of what you have given them, 00:04:51.529 --> 00:04:54.529 unless they commit a clear immorality.﴿ 00:04:54.529 --> 00:04:57.689 Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 00:04:57.689 --> 00:05:00.689 "It is not permissible for a man to constrain a woman 00:05:00.689 --> 00:05:03.689 by mistreating and pressuring her 00:05:03.689 --> 00:05:06.689 so that she surrenders part of her bridal gift, 00:05:06.689 --> 00:05:09.689 nor may he strike her for that purpose. 00:05:09.689 --> 00:05:12.689 However, if she commits a clear immorality, 00:05:12.689 --> 00:05:15.689 he may constrain her so that she ransoms herself from him, 00:05:15.689 --> 00:05:18.689 and he may strike her. 00:05:18.689 --> 00:05:21.689 This is between the man and Allah." 00:05:21.689 --> 00:05:25.259 So what is the immorality that permits a man 00:05:25.259 --> 00:05:28.259 to compel her to seek *khul'* 00:05:28.259 --> 00:05:31.389 and return the bridal gift? 00:05:31.389 --> 00:05:34.389 Ibn Jarir (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 00:05:34.389 --> 00:05:37.389 "The most appropriate interpretation of His words, 00:05:37.389 --> 00:05:40.389 ﴾Unless they commit a clear immorality,﴿ 00:05:40.389 --> 00:05:43.389 is that it refers to any obscenity, such as foulness 00:05:43.389 --> 00:05:46.389 of tongue directed against her husband, 00:05:46.389 --> 00:05:49.389 harming him, or committing unlawful sexual intercourse. 00:05:49.389 --> 00:05:52.389 That is because Allah, Exalted is His praise, 00:05:52.389 --> 00:05:55.389 encompassed through His words, 00:05:55.389 --> 00:05:58.389 ﴾Unless they commit a clear immorality,﴿ 00:05:58.389 --> 00:06:01.389 every manifest and evident obscenity." 00:06:01.389 --> 00:06:05.189 The corruption of a woman's religious commitment through feminist ideology 00:06:05.189 --> 00:06:08.189 is most intolerable to a protective husband. 00:06:09.189 --> 00:06:12.189 For feminist ideology 00:06:12.189 --> 00:06:15.189 urges the woman to rebel against the man 00:06:15.189 --> 00:06:18.189 in every conceivable manner, 00:06:18.189 --> 00:06:21.189 inciting her to go out displaying her adornments and wearing perfume, 00:06:21.189 --> 00:06:24.189 and encouraging her to freely mix with men 00:06:24.189 --> 00:06:27.189 in workplaces, cafes, parties, and elsewhere, 00:06:27.189 --> 00:06:30.259 even if the husband does not approve of it. 00:06:30.259 --> 00:06:33.259 The second scenario 00:06:33.259 --> 00:06:36.259 is when the man exceeds the legal limits in striking, 00:06:36.259 --> 00:06:39.259 beating the woman severely 00:06:39.259 --> 00:06:42.259 in violation of the command of the Prophet (peace be upon him). 00:06:42.259 --> 00:06:45.259 The woman's reaction 00:06:45.259 --> 00:06:48.259 in this situation 00:06:48.259 --> 00:06:51.259 is to seek divorce on grounds of harm inflicted upon her 00:06:51.259 --> 00:06:54.480 by this husband. 00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:57.480 Yet the concern is that this woman's reaction might turn 00:06:57.480 --> 00:07:00.480 in a direction that violates the Sharia, 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:03.480 because of this husband's violent treatment of her, 00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:07.480 leading her to attribute her husband's misconduct to Islam. 00:07:07.480 --> 00:07:10.480 Then the promoters of misguidance seize upon her— 00:07:10.480 --> 00:07:13.480 those who advocate the destruction of families— 00:07:13.480 --> 00:07:16.480 to use her as an argument for prohibiting the striking of women 00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:19.480 entirely and unconditionally, 00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:22.480 and to call for adopting Western frameworks, 00:07:22.480 --> 00:07:25.769 such as their domestic violence laws and the like. 00:07:25.769 --> 00:07:28.769 Muhammad Rashid Rida (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 00:07:28.769 --> 00:07:31.769 "Some of those who blindly imitate the Westerners act arrogantly, 00:07:32.769 --> 00:07:35.769 decrying the permissibility of disciplining a recalcitrant wife, 00:07:35.769 --> 00:07:38.769 while they do not deem it outrageous that she rebels and exalts herself over him, 00:07:38.769 --> 00:07:41.769 turning him, though he is the head of the household, into a subordinate— 00:07:41.769 --> 00:07:44.769 or rather, an object of contempt! 00:07:44.769 --> 00:07:47.769 She persists in her recalcitrance, 00:07:47.769 --> 00:07:50.769 neither softening at his admonition and counsel, 00:07:50.769 --> 00:07:53.769 nor caring about his turning away and forsaking her. 00:07:53.769 --> 00:07:56.769 I do not know how they propose to remedy such recalcitrant wives, 00:07:56.769 --> 00:07:59.769 or what counsel they offer to their husbands. 00:08:00.769 --> 00:08:03.899 Perhaps they imagine a frail, slender, 00:08:03.899 --> 00:08:06.899 refined, and well-mannered woman 00:08:06.899 --> 00:08:09.899 oppressed by a coarse, harsh man 00:08:09.899 --> 00:08:12.899 who feeds his whip with her tender flesh 00:08:12.899 --> 00:08:15.899 and drenches it in her flowing blood, 00:08:15.899 --> 00:08:18.899 claiming that Allah Almighty permitted him 00:08:18.899 --> 00:08:21.899 such a manner of beating, 00:08:21.899 --> 00:08:24.899 and fabricating accusations against her when she is innocent of any fault, 00:08:24.899 --> 00:08:27.899 as is frequently done by hard-hearted, 00:08:27.899 --> 00:08:30.899 callous men of rigid temperament. 00:08:30.899 --> 00:08:33.899 Far be it from Allah to permit such injustice 00:08:33.899 --> 00:08:36.960 or to be pleased with it! 00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:39.960 Indeed, among men there is the haughty and harsh oppressor 00:08:39.960 --> 00:08:42.960 who wrongs a woman out of pure aggression; 00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:45.960 numerous hadiths have been transmitted regarding the counsel to treat women well 00:08:45.960 --> 00:08:48.960 in rebuke of men like him, 00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:51.960 and what applies to them is what the Qur'anic verse 00:08:51.960 --> 00:08:55.120 prescribed regarding arbitration. 00:08:55.120 --> 00:08:57.120 Likewise, among women there are 00:08:57.120 --> 00:09:00.120 the spiteful, defiant, and insolent wives 00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:03.120 who despise their husbands, 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:06.120 deny their favors, 00:09:06.120 --> 00:09:09.120 defy them out of vanity and obstinacy, 00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:12.120 and burden them beyond their endurance. 00:09:12.120 --> 00:09:15.149 So what corruption would occur on earth 00:09:15.149 --> 00:09:18.149 if a pious, noble man is permitted 00:09:18.149 --> 00:09:21.149 to curb the arrogance of such a woman 00:09:21.149 --> 00:09:24.149 and bring down her haughty pride 00:09:24.149 --> 00:09:27.149 with a light strike to her hand 00:09:27.149 --> 00:09:30.340 or a light slap aimed at her neck? 00:09:30.340 --> 00:09:33.340 Even many of their Western leaders 00:09:33.340 --> 00:09:36.340 beat their educated, sophisticated wives, 00:09:36.340 --> 00:09:39.340 as well as those who are clothed yet naked, 00:09:39.340 --> 00:09:42.340 seductively swaying and leading others astray. 00:09:42.340 --> 00:09:45.340 This is practiced by their philosophers, their scholars, 00:09:45.340 --> 00:09:48.340 their kings, and their princes; 00:09:48.340 --> 00:09:51.340 it is a necessity indispensable even to those who go to extremes 00:09:51.340 --> 00:09:54.340 in honoring those educated women. 00:09:54.340 --> 00:09:57.340 How then can its permissibility out of necessity be denounced 00:09:57.340 --> 00:10:00.340 in a universal religion meant for both bedouins and urban dwellers, 00:10:00.340 --> 00:10:03.340 encompassing all categories of humanity?" 00:10:03.340 --> 00:10:07.080 So take heed, dear husband, 00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:10.080 of the consequences of your actions with your wife; 00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:13.080 adhere to wisdom in resolving your marital issues, 00:10:13.080 --> 00:10:16.080 and consult the people of knowledge, 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:19.080 for you will never fail to find goodness in seeking counsel. 00:10:19.080 --> 00:10:22.909 We shall continue in a future session, if Allah wills. 00:10:22.909 --> 00:10:25.909 And all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all worlds.