1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,399 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 2 00:00:03,399 --> 00:00:16,500 The Types of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar' 3 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:21,960 The Types of Men in Relation to Their Wives 4 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,559 All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds, 5 00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:28,660 and may peace and blessings be upon the noblest of prophets and messengers, 6 00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:30,559 our Prophet Muhammad, 7 00:00:30,559 --> 00:00:33,659 and upon his family and all his Companions. 8 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,060 To proceed: 9 00:00:35,259 --> 00:00:37,460 This is a new series, 10 00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:42,659 somewhat different from the series produced in past years. 11 00:00:42,659 --> 00:00:46,759 It does not recount the story of a specific woman mentioned in the Noble Qur'an, 12 00:00:46,759 --> 00:00:50,159 nor is its primary subject simply women. 13 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:55,659 Rather, it addresses the different types of men in their treatment of their wives. 14 00:00:55,659 --> 00:00:57,759 This classification of men 15 00:00:57,759 --> 00:01:00,960 was articulated by a group of women 16 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:05,560 who spoke about their husbands with utter candor and clarity, 17 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,719 in exceptionally eloquent Arabic. 18 00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:12,719 The one who conveyed this beneficial account to us 19 00:01:12,719 --> 00:01:15,819 is our mother 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, 20 00:01:15,819 --> 00:01:18,519 in the lengthy hadith of Umm Zar', 21 00:01:18,519 --> 00:01:22,819 which she narrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). 22 00:01:22,819 --> 00:01:25,819 He listened to her attentively and with keen interest, 23 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:29,519 then commented on her words with profound remarks 24 00:01:29,519 --> 00:01:33,000 full of lessons for those who reflect. 25 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,900 "The Types of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar'" 26 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:39,599 is the theme of this Ramadan series. 27 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,099 The objective of presenting this topic 28 00:01:42,099 --> 00:01:46,299 is to recognize the qualities a woman loves in her husband 29 00:01:46,299 --> 00:01:49,200 and the traits she dislikes in him, 30 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:54,299 as well as to understand how women handled these traits. 31 00:01:54,299 --> 00:01:56,299 Indeed, the hadith of Umm Zar', 32 00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:59,599 while focusing on detailing the types of men, 33 00:01:59,599 --> 00:02:04,099 also reveals the extent of a woman’s suffering with her husband, 34 00:02:04,099 --> 00:02:06,099 and what lies concealed within her heart 35 00:02:06,099 --> 00:02:09,199 that is otherwise difficult to disclose to anyone. 36 00:02:09,199 --> 00:02:13,699 Thus, this hadith is of immense importance for a man, 37 00:02:13,699 --> 00:02:16,199 enabling him to understand how a woman thinks, 38 00:02:16,199 --> 00:02:19,199 how she views the man in her life, 39 00:02:19,199 --> 00:02:23,199 and her most vital emotional and physical needs. 40 00:02:23,199 --> 00:02:26,199 This magnificent hadith also highlights 41 00:02:26,199 --> 00:02:29,199 some of woman's innate dispositions, 42 00:02:29,199 --> 00:02:32,699 as well as both commendable and blameworthy traits. 43 00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:38,199 This means that woman is strongly present within the meanings of the hadith 44 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:41,360 and throughout the details of this series. 45 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,360 We can truly say 46 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,360 that this series 47 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,860 is women speaking about men 48 00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:49,860 and elucidating their various types. 49 00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:52,860 A man needs to examine himself 50 00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:54,860 and identify which category he belongs to, 51 00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:58,360 so that he may rectify his shortcomings if he is at fault, 52 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,360 capitalize on the good qualities he possesses, 53 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,419 nurture them, and find happiness through them. 54 00:03:04,419 --> 00:03:06,419 Likewise, a woman 55 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:09,419 needs to understand her husband's nature 56 00:03:09,419 --> 00:03:11,419 and which type of man he is, 57 00:03:11,419 --> 00:03:13,419 in order to interact with him effectively, 58 00:03:13,419 --> 00:03:16,919 guide him toward the good within him, 59 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:20,680 and steer him away from blameworthy male traits. 60 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,180 This is truly a magnificent hadith, 61 00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:26,680 about which al-Hafiz Ibn al-Mulaqqin (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 62 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,180 "This hadith is grand and comprehensive, 63 00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:30,680 teeming with benefits. 64 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,680 Dedicated treatises have been authored on it; 65 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,680 treatises were devoted to it by Abu al-Qasim Ibn Hibban, 66 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,680 al-Qadi, and Ibn Qutaybah." 67 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:43,169 Scholars dedicated independent works to it exclusively 68 00:03:43,169 --> 00:03:45,669 because of its abundant benefits 69 00:03:45,669 --> 00:03:48,669 and precise details that are rarely found 70 00:03:48,669 --> 00:03:50,669 gathered together anywhere else. 71 00:03:50,669 --> 00:03:52,729 It is therefore incumbent upon all of us, 72 00:03:52,729 --> 00:03:54,729 both men and women, 73 00:03:54,729 --> 00:03:58,729 to pay close attention to this hadith—studying it, teaching it, 74 00:03:58,729 --> 00:04:03,020 and even memorizing it whenever possible. 75 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:07,020 Abu al-Qasim al-Qazwini (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 76 00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:09,020 "My father (may Allah have mercy on him) 77 00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:13,020 used to encourage me to memorize this hadith in my youth 78 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,019 due to its numerous benefits and eloquent wording." 79 00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:20,939 This encouragement from his father 80 00:04:20,939 --> 00:04:23,939 led him to author a commentary on this hadith, 81 00:04:24,939 --> 00:04:28,290 the hadith of Umm Zar'. 82 00:04:28,290 --> 00:04:31,290 Some people may find it challenging to comprehend certain words found 83 00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:33,290 in the hadith upon first encounter, 84 00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:36,290 and that is hardly surprising; 85 00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:39,290 for these words were uttered by women 86 00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:41,290 who were pure, native Arabs 87 00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:44,290 whose tongues were never mixed with foreign influence, 88 00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:47,290 and who engaged in nothing other than the pristine Arabic tongue. 89 00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,290 This stands in contrast to our present age, 90 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:53,290 in which tongues have grown weak in speaking classical Arabic, 91 00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:56,290 foreign influences have encroached upon us from all directions, 92 00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:59,290 and foreign languages have become predominant 93 00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:02,519 across the Muslim lands. 94 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,519 As for this hadith, 95 00:05:04,519 --> 00:05:07,519 it has reached us in remarkably beautiful Arabic phrasing. 96 00:05:07,519 --> 00:05:10,519 Al-Qadi 'Iyad al-Yahsubi 97 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,519 (may Allah have mercy on him) said of it: 98 00:05:12,519 --> 00:05:15,519 "In sum, the speech of these women 99 00:05:15,519 --> 00:05:18,519 belongs to the most eloquent expressions, 100 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,519 the soundest meanings, 101 00:05:20,519 --> 00:05:22,519 and the most masterfully articulated rhetoric. 102 00:05:22,519 --> 00:05:25,519 It is ingenious in its metonymy and allusion, 103 00:05:25,519 --> 00:05:28,519 and sublime in its similes and metaphors. 104 00:05:28,519 --> 00:05:30,519 Some of them were more eloquent in utterance, 105 00:05:30,519 --> 00:05:32,519 superior in mastery, 106 00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:34,519 more expansive in elaboration, 107 00:05:34,519 --> 00:05:36,519 and more firmly grounded in rhetorical principle. 108 00:05:36,519 --> 00:05:40,519 The speech of some possessed greater elegance and splendor, 109 00:05:40,519 --> 00:05:44,519 refined delicacy, and sweeter flow; 110 00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:47,519 while others were more direct in eloquence, 111 00:05:47,519 --> 00:05:50,519 clearer in exposition, 112 00:05:50,519 --> 00:05:53,519 and more subtle in concise argumentation. 113 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:58,180 If you contemplate the speech of Umm Zar', 114 00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:02,180 you find that, despite its many sections and lack of superfluity, 115 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:06,180 it consists of carefully chosen words and distinctly clear features, 116 00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:08,180 sharply delineated. 117 00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:11,180 Its words are precisely measured to match its meanings, 118 00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:13,180 its foundations are firmly established, 119 00:06:13,180 --> 00:06:15,180 and its structures are loftily erected. 120 00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:18,180 Every part of it occupies an esteemed place in rhetoric, 121 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:22,310 and within it are deposited literary marvels. 122 00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:25,310 And if you examine the words of the ninth woman— 123 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:28,310 the one who described the high pillar, long sword-belt, and abundant ashes— 124 00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:32,310 you will find that she encompasses diverse avenues of eloquence, 125 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:35,310 elevates the craft of rhetoric, 126 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:39,430 and strikes deeply with concise, purposeful expression." 127 00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:45,089 Now, turning to the text of the hadith: 128 00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:48,189 On the authority of 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said: 129 00:06:48,189 --> 00:06:50,189 "Eleven women sat together 130 00:06:50,189 --> 00:06:52,189 and covenanted and pledged 131 00:06:52,189 --> 00:06:56,189 not to conceal anything regarding their husbands. 132 00:06:56,189 --> 00:06:58,439 The first woman said: 133 00:06:58,439 --> 00:07:01,439 'My husband is like the meat of a scrawny camel 134 00:07:01,439 --> 00:07:03,439 atop a rugged mountain peak: 135 00:07:03,439 --> 00:07:05,439 neither easy to ascend 136 00:07:05,439 --> 00:07:08,439 nor plump enough to be worth retrieving.' 137 00:07:08,439 --> 00:07:10,600 The second woman said: 138 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,600 'I shall not broadcast my husband's news, 139 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,600 for I fear I would never finish with it; 140 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,600 if I were to mention him, I would recount his visible and hidden faults.' 141 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,019 The third woman said: 142 00:07:22,019 --> 00:07:24,019 'My husband is a tall tyrant: 143 00:07:24,019 --> 00:07:26,019 if I speak, I am divorced; 144 00:07:26,019 --> 00:07:28,019 and if I remain silent, I am left suspended.' 145 00:07:28,019 --> 00:07:30,339 The fourth woman said: 146 00:07:30,339 --> 00:07:32,339 'My husband is like the night of Tihamah: 147 00:07:32,339 --> 00:07:35,339 neither hot nor cold, 148 00:07:35,339 --> 00:07:38,339 inspiring neither fear nor weariness.' 149 00:07:38,339 --> 00:07:40,629 The fifth woman said: 150 00:07:40,629 --> 00:07:42,629 'My husband, when he enters, is like a leopard; 151 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,629 when he goes out, he is like a lion; 152 00:07:44,629 --> 00:07:47,629 and he does not inquire about what he had left behind.' 153 00:07:47,629 --> 00:07:49,920 The sixth woman said: 154 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,920 'My husband, when he eats, devours everything; 155 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,920 when he drinks, leaves nothing behind; 156 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,920 and when he lies down, wraps himself up entirely, 157 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,920 never extending his hand 158 00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,920 to feel my sorrow.' 159 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,240 The seventh woman said: 160 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,240 'My husband is utterly inept 161 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,240 and senseless, 162 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,240 a heavy burden; 163 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,240 every ailment in others is combined in him: 164 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,240 he would fracture your head, or break your bone, 165 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,240 or inflict both upon you.' 166 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,779 The eighth woman said: 167 00:08:16,779 --> 00:08:18,779 'My husband's touch 168 00:08:18,779 --> 00:08:20,779 is as soft as the touch of a rabbit, 169 00:08:20,779 --> 00:08:22,779 and his scent is the fragrance of sweet aromatic herbs.' 170 00:08:22,779 --> 00:08:25,040 The ninth woman said: 171 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,040 'My husband is of a lofty tent-pillar, 172 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,040 with a long sword-belt, 173 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,040 of abundant hearth-ashes, 174 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,039 and his home is close to the gathering hall.' 175 00:08:33,039 --> 00:08:35,039 The tenth woman said: 176 00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:37,289 'My husband is Malik, 177 00:08:37,289 --> 00:08:39,289 and what a man Malik is! 178 00:08:39,289 --> 00:08:41,289 Malik is far better than any praise I could offer. 179 00:08:41,289 --> 00:08:43,289 He possesses many camels that stay resting in their pens 180 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,289 and rarely go out to pasture; 181 00:08:45,289 --> 00:08:47,289 rarely go out to pasture, 182 00:08:47,289 --> 00:08:49,289 rarely go out to pasture. 183 00:08:49,289 --> 00:08:51,289 Whenever they hear the strumming of the lute, 184 00:08:51,289 --> 00:08:53,289 they are certain they are about to be slaughtered for guests; 185 00:08:53,289 --> 00:08:55,710 they are certain they are about to be slaughtered.' 186 00:08:55,710 --> 00:08:57,710 The eleventh woman said: 187 00:08:57,710 --> 00:08:59,710 'My husband is Abu Zar', 188 00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:01,740 and what a man Abu Zar' is! 189 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,740 He loaded my ears with swinging jewelry 190 00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:05,740 and filled my upper arms with plumpness; 191 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,740 and filled my upper arms with plumpness. 192 00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:09,740 He gladdened and dignified me, 193 00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:11,740 so I felt dignified and pleased with myself. 194 00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,740 He found me among people of modest sheep on a rugged hill, 195 00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:15,740 and brought me to owners of neighing horses, 196 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,740 groaning camels, grain-threshers, and winnowers. 197 00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,740 In his presence, I speak 198 00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:21,840 and am never reviled; 199 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,840 I would sleep late into the morning, 200 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,840 and drink until my thirst was thoroughly quenched. 201 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,840 And the mother of Abu Zar'— 202 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,159 what a woman she was! 203 00:09:30,159 --> 00:09:32,159 Her storage bags were always overflowing, 204 00:09:32,159 --> 00:09:34,159 and her house was spacious. 205 00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:36,159 The son of Abu Zar'— 206 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,409 what a fine youth he was! 207 00:09:38,409 --> 00:09:40,409 His sleeping place was like an unsheathed, slender sword, 208 00:09:40,409 --> 00:09:42,409 as lean as a stripped palm stalk, 209 00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:44,409 and the leg of a young goat fully satisfied his appetite. 210 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,409 The daughter of Abu Zar'— 211 00:09:46,409 --> 00:09:48,700 what an exceptional daughter she was! 212 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,700 Devotedly obedient to her father, 213 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,700 obedient to her mother, 214 00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:54,700 filling her garment gracefully with her plump form, 215 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,700 and the envy of her rival. 216 00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:58,700 The maidservant of Abu Zar'— 217 00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,889 what a loyal servant she was! 218 00:10:00,889 --> 00:10:02,889 She never divulged our private conversations 219 00:10:02,889 --> 00:10:04,889 to anyone, 220 00:10:04,889 --> 00:10:06,889 nor did she squander our provisions 221 00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,889 or leave them wasted, 222 00:10:08,889 --> 00:10:10,889 nor did she leave our home 223 00:10:10,889 --> 00:10:12,889 in clutter and disarray— 224 00:10:12,889 --> 00:10:14,889 cluttered with rubbish. 225 00:10:14,889 --> 00:10:17,179 She continued: 226 00:10:17,179 --> 00:10:19,179 Once, Abu Zar' went out 227 00:10:19,179 --> 00:10:21,179 while the milk-skins were being churned, 228 00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:23,179 and he came across a woman who had with her 229 00:10:23,179 --> 00:10:25,179 two boys agile as young leopards, 230 00:10:25,179 --> 00:10:27,179 playfully sporting under her waist 231 00:10:27,179 --> 00:10:29,179 with two pomegranates. 232 00:10:29,179 --> 00:10:31,179 So he divorced me and married her. 233 00:10:31,179 --> 00:10:33,309 After him, I married 234 00:10:33,309 --> 00:10:35,309 a noble and wealthy man. 235 00:10:35,309 --> 00:10:37,309 He rode a spirited, swift steed, 236 00:10:37,309 --> 00:10:39,309 held a fine spear in his hand, 237 00:10:39,309 --> 00:10:41,309 and brought home for me an abundance of livestock. 238 00:10:41,309 --> 00:10:43,309 He was a master rider, 239 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,309 and he bestowed upon me a pair of every kind of cattle 240 00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:47,309 that returned at evening, 241 00:10:47,309 --> 00:10:49,309 saying: 242 00:10:49,309 --> 00:10:51,559 'Eat generously, Umm Zar', 243 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,559 and provide for your own family.' 244 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,559 Yet, even if I gathered everything 245 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,559 he had ever given me, 246 00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:59,980 it would not fill the smallest vessel 247 00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:01,980 belonging to Abu Zar'." 248 00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:03,980 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: 249 00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:05,980 The Messenger of Allah 250 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:08,139 (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) then said to me: 251 00:11:08,139 --> 00:11:10,139 "I am to you just as Abu Zar' was to Umm Zar'." 252 00:11:10,139 --> 00:11:12,330 It was narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim. 253 00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:14,620 Al-Tabarani added 254 00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:16,620 in another narration of his: 255 00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:18,620 "O 'A'ishah, 256 00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,620 I am to you as Abu Zar' was 257 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,620 to Umm Zar', 258 00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:24,620 except that Abu Zar' 259 00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:26,620 divorced his wife, and I will never divorce you." 260 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,720 It was authenticated 261 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,720 by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami'. 262 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:34,220 We will continue in our next 263 00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:36,220 gathering, if Allah wills. 264 00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:38,220 And all praise is due to Allah, 265 00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:40,220 Lord of all the worlds.