WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.399 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:16.500 The Types of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar' 00:00:16.500 --> 00:00:21.960 The Types of Men in Relation to Their Wives 00:00:21.960 --> 00:00:24.559 All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds, 00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:28.660 and may peace and blessings be upon the noblest of prophets and messengers, 00:00:28.660 --> 00:00:30.559 our Prophet Muhammad, 00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:33.659 and upon his family and all his Companions. 00:00:33.659 --> 00:00:35.060 To proceed: 00:00:35.259 --> 00:00:37.460 This is a new series, 00:00:37.460 --> 00:00:42.659 somewhat different from the series produced in past years. 00:00:42.659 --> 00:00:46.759 It does not recount the story of a specific woman mentioned in the Noble Qur'an, 00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:50.159 nor is its primary subject simply women. 00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:55.659 Rather, it addresses the different types of men in their treatment of their wives. 00:00:55.659 --> 00:00:57.759 This classification of men 00:00:57.759 --> 00:01:00.960 was articulated by a group of women 00:01:01.060 --> 00:01:05.560 who spoke about their husbands with utter candor and clarity, 00:01:05.560 --> 00:01:09.719 in exceptionally eloquent Arabic. 00:01:09.719 --> 00:01:12.719 The one who conveyed this beneficial account to us 00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:15.819 is our mother 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, 00:01:15.819 --> 00:01:18.519 in the lengthy hadith of Umm Zar', 00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:22.819 which she narrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). 00:01:22.819 --> 00:01:25.819 He listened to her attentively and with keen interest, 00:01:25.819 --> 00:01:29.519 then commented on her words with profound remarks 00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:33.000 full of lessons for those who reflect. 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:35.900 "The Types of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar'" 00:01:35.900 --> 00:01:39.599 is the theme of this Ramadan series. 00:01:39.599 --> 00:01:42.099 The objective of presenting this topic 00:01:42.099 --> 00:01:46.299 is to recognize the qualities a woman loves in her husband 00:01:46.299 --> 00:01:49.200 and the traits she dislikes in him, 00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:54.299 as well as to understand how women handled these traits. 00:01:54.299 --> 00:01:56.299 Indeed, the hadith of Umm Zar', 00:01:56.299 --> 00:01:59.599 while focusing on detailing the types of men, 00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:04.099 also reveals the extent of a woman’s suffering with her husband, 00:02:04.099 --> 00:02:06.099 and what lies concealed within her heart 00:02:06.099 --> 00:02:09.199 that is otherwise difficult to disclose to anyone. 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:13.699 Thus, this hadith is of immense importance for a man, 00:02:13.699 --> 00:02:16.199 enabling him to understand how a woman thinks, 00:02:16.199 --> 00:02:19.199 how she views the man in her life, 00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:23.199 and her most vital emotional and physical needs. 00:02:23.199 --> 00:02:26.199 This magnificent hadith also highlights 00:02:26.199 --> 00:02:29.199 some of woman's innate dispositions, 00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:32.699 as well as both commendable and blameworthy traits. 00:02:32.699 --> 00:02:38.199 This means that woman is strongly present within the meanings of the hadith 00:02:38.199 --> 00:02:41.360 and throughout the details of this series. 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:43.360 We can truly say 00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:45.360 that this series 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:47.860 is women speaking about men 00:02:47.860 --> 00:02:49.860 and elucidating their various types. 00:02:49.860 --> 00:02:52.860 A man needs to examine himself 00:02:52.860 --> 00:02:54.860 and identify which category he belongs to, 00:02:54.860 --> 00:02:58.360 so that he may rectify his shortcomings if he is at fault, 00:02:58.360 --> 00:03:01.360 capitalize on the good qualities he possesses, 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:04.419 nurture them, and find happiness through them. 00:03:04.419 --> 00:03:06.419 Likewise, a woman 00:03:06.419 --> 00:03:09.419 needs to understand her husband's nature 00:03:09.419 --> 00:03:11.419 and which type of man he is, 00:03:11.419 --> 00:03:13.419 in order to interact with him effectively, 00:03:13.419 --> 00:03:16.919 guide him toward the good within him, 00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:20.680 and steer him away from blameworthy male traits. 00:03:20.680 --> 00:03:23.180 This is truly a magnificent hadith, 00:03:23.180 --> 00:03:26.680 about which al-Hafiz Ibn al-Mulaqqin (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 00:03:26.680 --> 00:03:29.180 "This hadith is grand and comprehensive, 00:03:29.180 --> 00:03:30.680 teeming with benefits. 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:32.680 Dedicated treatises have been authored on it; 00:03:32.680 --> 00:03:35.680 treatises were devoted to it by Abu al-Qasim Ibn Hibban, 00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:38.680 al-Qadi, and Ibn Qutaybah." 00:03:38.680 --> 00:03:43.169 Scholars dedicated independent works to it exclusively 00:03:43.169 --> 00:03:45.669 because of its abundant benefits 00:03:45.669 --> 00:03:48.669 and precise details that are rarely found 00:03:48.669 --> 00:03:50.669 gathered together anywhere else. 00:03:50.669 --> 00:03:52.729 It is therefore incumbent upon all of us, 00:03:52.729 --> 00:03:54.729 both men and women, 00:03:54.729 --> 00:03:58.729 to pay close attention to this hadith—studying it, teaching it, 00:03:58.729 --> 00:04:03.020 and even memorizing it whenever possible. 00:04:03.020 --> 00:04:07.020 Abu al-Qasim al-Qazwini (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 00:04:07.020 --> 00:04:09.020 "My father (may Allah have mercy on him) 00:04:09.020 --> 00:04:13.020 used to encourage me to memorize this hadith in my youth 00:04:13.020 --> 00:04:16.019 due to its numerous benefits and eloquent wording." 00:04:16.019 --> 00:04:20.939 This encouragement from his father 00:04:20.939 --> 00:04:23.939 led him to author a commentary on this hadith, 00:04:24.939 --> 00:04:28.290 the hadith of Umm Zar'. 00:04:28.290 --> 00:04:31.290 Some people may find it challenging to comprehend certain words found 00:04:31.290 --> 00:04:33.290 in the hadith upon first encounter, 00:04:33.290 --> 00:04:36.290 and that is hardly surprising; 00:04:36.290 --> 00:04:39.290 for these words were uttered by women 00:04:39.290 --> 00:04:41.290 who were pure, native Arabs 00:04:41.290 --> 00:04:44.290 whose tongues were never mixed with foreign influence, 00:04:44.290 --> 00:04:47.290 and who engaged in nothing other than the pristine Arabic tongue. 00:04:47.290 --> 00:04:49.290 This stands in contrast to our present age, 00:04:49.290 --> 00:04:53.290 in which tongues have grown weak in speaking classical Arabic, 00:04:53.290 --> 00:04:56.290 foreign influences have encroached upon us from all directions, 00:04:56.290 --> 00:04:59.290 and foreign languages have become predominant 00:04:59.290 --> 00:05:02.519 across the Muslim lands. 00:05:02.519 --> 00:05:04.519 As for this hadith, 00:05:04.519 --> 00:05:07.519 it has reached us in remarkably beautiful Arabic phrasing. 00:05:07.519 --> 00:05:10.519 Al-Qadi 'Iyad al-Yahsubi 00:05:10.519 --> 00:05:12.519 (may Allah have mercy on him) said of it: 00:05:12.519 --> 00:05:15.519 "In sum, the speech of these women 00:05:15.519 --> 00:05:18.519 belongs to the most eloquent expressions, 00:05:18.519 --> 00:05:20.519 the soundest meanings, 00:05:20.519 --> 00:05:22.519 and the most masterfully articulated rhetoric. 00:05:22.519 --> 00:05:25.519 It is ingenious in its metonymy and allusion, 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:28.519 and sublime in its similes and metaphors. 00:05:28.519 --> 00:05:30.519 Some of them were more eloquent in utterance, 00:05:30.519 --> 00:05:32.519 superior in mastery, 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:34.519 more expansive in elaboration, 00:05:34.519 --> 00:05:36.519 and more firmly grounded in rhetorical principle. 00:05:36.519 --> 00:05:40.519 The speech of some possessed greater elegance and splendor, 00:05:40.519 --> 00:05:44.519 refined delicacy, and sweeter flow; 00:05:44.519 --> 00:05:47.519 while others were more direct in eloquence, 00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:50.519 clearer in exposition, 00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:53.519 and more subtle in concise argumentation. 00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:58.180 If you contemplate the speech of Umm Zar', 00:05:58.180 --> 00:06:02.180 you find that, despite its many sections and lack of superfluity, 00:06:02.180 --> 00:06:06.180 it consists of carefully chosen words and distinctly clear features, 00:06:06.180 --> 00:06:08.180 sharply delineated. 00:06:08.180 --> 00:06:11.180 Its words are precisely measured to match its meanings, 00:06:11.180 --> 00:06:13.180 its foundations are firmly established, 00:06:13.180 --> 00:06:15.180 and its structures are loftily erected. 00:06:15.180 --> 00:06:18.180 Every part of it occupies an esteemed place in rhetoric, 00:06:19.180 --> 00:06:22.310 and within it are deposited literary marvels. 00:06:22.310 --> 00:06:25.310 And if you examine the words of the ninth woman— 00:06:25.310 --> 00:06:28.310 the one who described the high pillar, long sword-belt, and abundant ashes— 00:06:28.310 --> 00:06:32.310 you will find that she encompasses diverse avenues of eloquence, 00:06:32.310 --> 00:06:35.310 elevates the craft of rhetoric, 00:06:35.310 --> 00:06:39.430 and strikes deeply with concise, purposeful expression." 00:06:39.430 --> 00:06:45.089 Now, turning to the text of the hadith: 00:06:45.089 --> 00:06:48.189 On the authority of 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said: 00:06:48.189 --> 00:06:50.189 "Eleven women sat together 00:06:50.189 --> 00:06:52.189 and covenanted and pledged 00:06:52.189 --> 00:06:56.189 not to conceal anything regarding their husbands. 00:06:56.189 --> 00:06:58.439 The first woman said: 00:06:58.439 --> 00:07:01.439 'My husband is like the meat of a scrawny camel 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:03.439 atop a rugged mountain peak: 00:07:03.439 --> 00:07:05.439 neither easy to ascend 00:07:05.439 --> 00:07:08.439 nor plump enough to be worth retrieving.' 00:07:08.439 --> 00:07:10.600 The second woman said: 00:07:10.600 --> 00:07:13.600 'I shall not broadcast my husband's news, 00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:15.600 for I fear I would never finish with it; 00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:19.600 if I were to mention him, I would recount his visible and hidden faults.' 00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:22.019 The third woman said: 00:07:22.019 --> 00:07:24.019 'My husband is a tall tyrant: 00:07:24.019 --> 00:07:26.019 if I speak, I am divorced; 00:07:26.019 --> 00:07:28.019 and if I remain silent, I am left suspended.' 00:07:28.019 --> 00:07:30.339 The fourth woman said: 00:07:30.339 --> 00:07:32.339 'My husband is like the night of Tihamah: 00:07:32.339 --> 00:07:35.339 neither hot nor cold, 00:07:35.339 --> 00:07:38.339 inspiring neither fear nor weariness.' 00:07:38.339 --> 00:07:40.629 The fifth woman said: 00:07:40.629 --> 00:07:42.629 'My husband, when he enters, is like a leopard; 00:07:42.629 --> 00:07:44.629 when he goes out, he is like a lion; 00:07:44.629 --> 00:07:47.629 and he does not inquire about what he had left behind.' 00:07:47.629 --> 00:07:49.920 The sixth woman said: 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:51.920 'My husband, when he eats, devours everything; 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:53.920 when he drinks, leaves nothing behind; 00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:55.920 and when he lies down, wraps himself up entirely, 00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:57.920 never extending his hand 00:07:57.920 --> 00:07:59.920 to feel my sorrow.' 00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:02.240 The seventh woman said: 00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:04.240 'My husband is utterly inept 00:08:04.240 --> 00:08:06.240 and senseless, 00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:08.240 a heavy burden; 00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:10.240 every ailment in others is combined in him: 00:08:10.240 --> 00:08:12.240 he would fracture your head, or break your bone, 00:08:12.240 --> 00:08:14.240 or inflict both upon you.' 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:16.779 The eighth woman said: 00:08:16.779 --> 00:08:18.779 'My husband's touch 00:08:18.779 --> 00:08:20.779 is as soft as the touch of a rabbit, 00:08:20.779 --> 00:08:22.779 and his scent is the fragrance of sweet aromatic herbs.' 00:08:22.779 --> 00:08:25.040 The ninth woman said: 00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:27.040 'My husband is of a lofty tent-pillar, 00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:29.040 with a long sword-belt, 00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:31.040 of abundant hearth-ashes, 00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:33.039 and his home is close to the gathering hall.' 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:35.039 The tenth woman said: 00:08:35.039 --> 00:08:37.289 'My husband is Malik, 00:08:37.289 --> 00:08:39.289 and what a man Malik is! 00:08:39.289 --> 00:08:41.289 Malik is far better than any praise I could offer. 00:08:41.289 --> 00:08:43.289 He possesses many camels that stay resting in their pens 00:08:43.289 --> 00:08:45.289 and rarely go out to pasture; 00:08:45.289 --> 00:08:47.289 rarely go out to pasture, 00:08:47.289 --> 00:08:49.289 rarely go out to pasture. 00:08:49.289 --> 00:08:51.289 Whenever they hear the strumming of the lute, 00:08:51.289 --> 00:08:53.289 they are certain they are about to be slaughtered for guests; 00:08:53.289 --> 00:08:55.710 they are certain they are about to be slaughtered.' 00:08:55.710 --> 00:08:57.710 The eleventh woman said: 00:08:57.710 --> 00:08:59.710 'My husband is Abu Zar', 00:08:59.710 --> 00:09:01.740 and what a man Abu Zar' is! 00:09:01.740 --> 00:09:03.740 He loaded my ears with swinging jewelry 00:09:03.740 --> 00:09:05.740 and filled my upper arms with plumpness; 00:09:05.740 --> 00:09:07.740 and filled my upper arms with plumpness. 00:09:07.740 --> 00:09:09.740 He gladdened and dignified me, 00:09:09.740 --> 00:09:11.740 so I felt dignified and pleased with myself. 00:09:11.740 --> 00:09:13.740 He found me among people of modest sheep on a rugged hill, 00:09:13.740 --> 00:09:15.740 and brought me to owners of neighing horses, 00:09:15.740 --> 00:09:17.740 groaning camels, grain-threshers, and winnowers. 00:09:17.740 --> 00:09:19.740 In his presence, I speak 00:09:19.740 --> 00:09:21.840 and am never reviled; 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:23.840 I would sleep late into the morning, 00:09:23.840 --> 00:09:25.840 and drink until my thirst was thoroughly quenched. 00:09:25.840 --> 00:09:27.840 And the mother of Abu Zar'— 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:30.159 what a woman she was! 00:09:30.159 --> 00:09:32.159 Her storage bags were always overflowing, 00:09:32.159 --> 00:09:34.159 and her house was spacious. 00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:36.159 The son of Abu Zar'— 00:09:36.159 --> 00:09:38.409 what a fine youth he was! 00:09:38.409 --> 00:09:40.409 His sleeping place was like an unsheathed, slender sword, 00:09:40.409 --> 00:09:42.409 as lean as a stripped palm stalk, 00:09:42.409 --> 00:09:44.409 and the leg of a young goat fully satisfied his appetite. 00:09:44.409 --> 00:09:46.409 The daughter of Abu Zar'— 00:09:46.409 --> 00:09:48.700 what an exceptional daughter she was! 00:09:48.700 --> 00:09:50.700 Devotedly obedient to her father, 00:09:50.700 --> 00:09:52.700 obedient to her mother, 00:09:52.700 --> 00:09:54.700 filling her garment gracefully with her plump form, 00:09:54.700 --> 00:09:56.700 and the envy of her rival. 00:09:56.700 --> 00:09:58.700 The maidservant of Abu Zar'— 00:09:58.700 --> 00:10:00.889 what a loyal servant she was! 00:10:00.889 --> 00:10:02.889 She never divulged our private conversations 00:10:02.889 --> 00:10:04.889 to anyone, 00:10:04.889 --> 00:10:06.889 nor did she squander our provisions 00:10:06.889 --> 00:10:08.889 or leave them wasted, 00:10:08.889 --> 00:10:10.889 nor did she leave our home 00:10:10.889 --> 00:10:12.889 in clutter and disarray— 00:10:12.889 --> 00:10:14.889 cluttered with rubbish. 00:10:14.889 --> 00:10:17.179 She continued: 00:10:17.179 --> 00:10:19.179 Once, Abu Zar' went out 00:10:19.179 --> 00:10:21.179 while the milk-skins were being churned, 00:10:21.179 --> 00:10:23.179 and he came across a woman who had with her 00:10:23.179 --> 00:10:25.179 two boys agile as young leopards, 00:10:25.179 --> 00:10:27.179 playfully sporting under her waist 00:10:27.179 --> 00:10:29.179 with two pomegranates. 00:10:29.179 --> 00:10:31.179 So he divorced me and married her. 00:10:31.179 --> 00:10:33.309 After him, I married 00:10:33.309 --> 00:10:35.309 a noble and wealthy man. 00:10:35.309 --> 00:10:37.309 He rode a spirited, swift steed, 00:10:37.309 --> 00:10:39.309 held a fine spear in his hand, 00:10:39.309 --> 00:10:41.309 and brought home for me an abundance of livestock. 00:10:41.309 --> 00:10:43.309 He was a master rider, 00:10:43.309 --> 00:10:45.309 and he bestowed upon me a pair of every kind of cattle 00:10:45.309 --> 00:10:47.309 that returned at evening, 00:10:47.309 --> 00:10:49.309 saying: 00:10:49.309 --> 00:10:51.559 'Eat generously, Umm Zar', 00:10:51.559 --> 00:10:53.559 and provide for your own family.' 00:10:53.559 --> 00:10:55.559 Yet, even if I gathered everything 00:10:55.559 --> 00:10:57.559 he had ever given me, 00:10:57.559 --> 00:10:59.980 it would not fill the smallest vessel 00:10:59.980 --> 00:11:01.980 belonging to Abu Zar'." 00:11:01.980 --> 00:11:03.980 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: 00:11:03.980 --> 00:11:05.980 The Messenger of Allah 00:11:05.980 --> 00:11:08.139 (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) then said to me: 00:11:08.139 --> 00:11:10.139 "I am to you just as Abu Zar' was to Umm Zar'." 00:11:10.139 --> 00:11:12.330 It was narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim. 00:11:12.330 --> 00:11:14.620 Al-Tabarani added 00:11:14.620 --> 00:11:16.620 in another narration of his: 00:11:16.620 --> 00:11:18.620 "O 'A'ishah, 00:11:18.620 --> 00:11:20.620 I am to you as Abu Zar' was 00:11:20.620 --> 00:11:22.620 to Umm Zar', 00:11:22.620 --> 00:11:24.620 except that Abu Zar' 00:11:24.620 --> 00:11:26.620 divorced his wife, and I will never divorce you." 00:11:26.620 --> 00:11:28.720 It was authenticated 00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:30.720 by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami'. 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:34.220 We will continue in our next 00:11:34.220 --> 00:11:36.220 gathering, if Allah wills. 00:11:36.220 --> 00:11:38.220 And all praise is due to Allah, 00:11:38.220 --> 00:11:40.220 Lord of all the worlds.