WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.399 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:16.440 The various types of men as described in the hadith of Umm Zar‘. 00:00:16.440 --> 00:00:22.460 "I am to you as Abu Zar‘ was to Umm Zar‘." 00:00:22.460 --> 00:00:27.460 After ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, finished recounting the story of the women, 00:00:27.460 --> 00:00:30.460 who had gathered to speak to one another about their husbands, 00:00:30.460 --> 00:00:35.460 and the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was listening to her attentively, 00:00:35.460 --> 00:00:39.460 he commented on her lengthy narration with a few brief words, 00:00:39.460 --> 00:00:43.460 expressing the beauty of his companionship and his treatment of her. 00:00:43.460 --> 00:00:49.520 He said, "I am to you as Abu Zar‘ was to Umm Zar‘." 00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:55.520 In another narration: "O ‘A’ishah, I am to you as Abu Zar‘ was to Umm Zar‘, 00:00:55.520 --> 00:01:00.520 except that Abu Zar‘ divorced, whereas I do not divorce." 00:01:00.520 --> 00:01:03.710 Qadi ‘Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 00:01:03.710 --> 00:01:07.709 "The statement of the Prophet, peace be upon him, to ‘A’ishah, 00:01:07.709 --> 00:01:10.709 'I am to you as Abu Zar‘ was to Umm Zar‘,' 00:01:10.709 --> 00:01:15.709 was to comfort her and to emphasize the excellence of his companionship, 00:01:15.709 --> 00:01:19.709 because of what Umm Zar‘ had mentioned regarding the goodness of his company, 00:01:19.709 --> 00:01:22.709 and her gratitude for his overall conduct toward her. 00:01:22.709 --> 00:01:26.709 He then made an exception regarding the one unpleasant aspect of him, 00:01:26.709 --> 00:01:29.709 by saying that he had divorced her, 00:01:29.709 --> 00:01:31.709 whereas I do not divorce you," 00:01:31.709 --> 00:01:34.709 as a way to complete her comfort, 00:01:34.709 --> 00:01:37.709 to perfect the tranquility of her heart, 00:01:37.709 --> 00:01:42.709 and to remove any misconception that the comparison applied to all of Abu Zar‘’s circumstances, 00:01:42.709 --> 00:01:47.709 since there was nothing blameworthy in his conduct other than his divorcing her. 00:01:47.709 --> 00:01:52.670 Indeed, the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, was 00:01:52.670 --> 00:01:57.670 the model to be emulated in how to treat one’s wife. 00:01:57.670 --> 00:02:00.670 It is impossible to know the details of this model 00:02:00.670 --> 00:02:04.670 except by reading his Prophetic biography (Seerah) with his wives. 00:02:04.670 --> 00:02:09.699 These few pages are too brief to contain this fragrant biography, 00:02:09.699 --> 00:02:16.699 but I will provide some examples of his beautiful life with ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her. 00:02:16.699 --> 00:02:20.889 He, peace be upon him, used to play with her 00:02:20.889 --> 00:02:23.889 while they were performing ghusl (ritual bathing) from janabah (major ritual impurity). 00:02:23.889 --> 00:02:27.110 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:02:27.110 --> 00:02:33.110 "I would perform ghusl with the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, from a single vessel; 00:02:33.110 --> 00:02:36.110 he would race me, and I would race him, 00:02:36.110 --> 00:02:39.110 until he would say, 'Leave some for me,' 00:02:39.110 --> 00:02:42.110 and I would say, 'Leave some for me.'" 00:02:42.110 --> 00:02:44.110 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:02:44.110 --> 00:02:50.680 He, peace be upon him, used to kiss her while he was fasting. 00:02:50.680 --> 00:02:53.680 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:59.680 "The Prophet, peace be upon him, would kiss and embrace while fasting, 00:02:59.680 --> 00:03:02.680 for he was the most capable of you in controlling his desires." 00:03:02.680 --> 00:03:04.710 Narrated by Muslim. 00:03:04.710 --> 00:03:11.539 He, peace be upon him, would kiss her while leaving for prayer. 00:03:11.539 --> 00:03:15.770 On the authority of ‘Urwah from ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her: 00:03:15.770 --> 00:03:20.770 The Prophet, peace be upon him, kissed one of his wives, 00:03:20.770 --> 00:03:24.860 then went out to prayer without performing wudu’. 00:03:24.860 --> 00:03:28.860 ‘Urwah said, "Who could it be but you?" 00:03:28.860 --> 00:03:30.900 She laughed. 00:03:30.900 --> 00:03:32.900 Narrated by Abu Dawud. 00:03:32.900 --> 00:03:38.949 He, peace be upon him, would eat from the same spot she had eaten from, 00:03:38.949 --> 00:03:42.110 and drink from the same spot she had drunk from. 00:03:42.110 --> 00:03:46.110 On the authority of Shurayh from ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her: 00:03:46.110 --> 00:03:51.110 I asked her, "Does a woman eat with her husband while she is menstruating?" 00:03:51.110 --> 00:03:52.110 She replied, "Yes. 00:03:52.110 --> 00:03:59.110 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, would call me to eat with him while I was menstruating. 00:03:59.110 --> 00:04:03.110 He would take a piece of meat and ask me to bite from it, 00:04:03.110 --> 00:04:06.110 so I would take a bite and put it down, 00:04:06.110 --> 00:04:08.110 then he would take it and bite from it, 00:04:08.110 --> 00:04:12.180 placing his mouth exactly where I had placed mine on the meat. 00:04:12.180 --> 00:04:18.180 He would call for a drink and ask me to drink from it before he did, 00:04:18.180 --> 00:04:21.180 so I would take it and drink, then put it down, 00:04:21.180 --> 00:04:24.180 and he would take it and drink from it, 00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:28.430 placing his mouth exactly where I had placed mine on the cup." 00:04:28.430 --> 00:04:31.329 Narrated by Muslim. 00:04:31.329 --> 00:04:37.459 He, peace be upon him, would hold her hand while walking among the people. 00:04:37.459 --> 00:04:41.459 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:04:41.459 --> 00:04:45.459 "I wanted to enter the House (the Ka‘bah) to pray inside it, 00:04:45.459 --> 00:04:49.459 so the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, took my hand, 00:04:49.459 --> 00:04:51.459 brought me into the Hijr, 00:04:51.459 --> 00:04:56.459 and said, 'Pray in the Hijr if you wish to enter the House, 00:04:56.459 --> 00:04:59.459 for it is a part of the House, 00:04:59.459 --> 00:05:03.459 but your people excluded it when they rebuilt the Ka‘bah, 00:05:03.459 --> 00:05:05.459 and left it outside the House.'" 00:05:05.459 --> 00:05:08.459 Narrated by Abu Dawud. 00:05:08.459 --> 00:05:14.379 He, peace be upon him, would help her with household chores. 00:05:14.379 --> 00:05:16.420 Al-Aswad said: 00:05:16.420 --> 00:05:19.420 I asked ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, 00:05:19.420 --> 00:05:24.420 "What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do in his house?" 00:05:24.420 --> 00:05:25.420 She said: 00:05:25.420 --> 00:05:28.420 "He would be in the service of his family," 00:05:28.420 --> 00:05:30.420 meaning, helping his family. 00:05:30.420 --> 00:05:32.420 "And when the time for prayer arrived, 00:05:32.420 --> 00:05:34.420 he would go out to prayer." 00:05:34.420 --> 00:05:36.420 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:05:36.420 --> 00:05:44.089 He, peace be upon him, would be mindful of her feelings and psychological state. 00:05:44.089 --> 00:05:47.279 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:05:47.279 --> 00:05:50.279 "We set out, intending nothing but Hajj. 00:05:50.279 --> 00:05:53.279 When we reached Sarif, I began to menstruate. 00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:59.279 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, entered upon me while I was weeping. 00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:00.279 He said, 00:06:00.279 --> 00:06:03.279 'What is the matter? Have you begun to menstruate?' 00:06:03.279 --> 00:06:04.279 I said, 'Yes.' 00:06:04.279 --> 00:06:05.279 He said, 00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:10.279 'This is something Allah has decreed for the daughters of Adam. 00:06:10.279 --> 00:06:12.279 Perform all the rites that the pilgrim performs, 00:06:12.279 --> 00:06:15.279 except that you do not circumambulate the House.'" 00:06:15.279 --> 00:06:16.279 She added: 00:06:16.279 --> 00:06:22.279 "And the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, sacrificed cows on behalf of his wives." 00:06:22.279 --> 00:06:24.379 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:06:24.379 --> 00:06:29.779 He, peace be upon him, would pamper her. 00:06:29.779 --> 00:06:34.040 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:38.040 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, was sitting 00:06:38.040 --> 00:06:42.040 when we heard a commotion and the sound of children. 00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:46.040 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, stood up, 00:06:46.040 --> 00:06:51.040 and there was an Abyssinian woman dancing, with the children around her. 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:52.040 He said, 00:06:52.040 --> 00:06:56.040 "O ‘A’ishah, come and look." 00:06:56.040 --> 00:06:57.040 I came, 00:06:57.040 --> 00:07:03.040 and rested my chin on the shoulder of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:07.040 and began watching her from between his shoulder and his head. 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:09.040 He said to me, 00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:12.040 "Have you had enough? Have you had enough?" 00:07:12.040 --> 00:07:13.040 She said: 00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:16.040 "I kept saying, 'No,' 00:07:16.040 --> 00:07:19.170 just to see how much I meant to him." 00:07:19.170 --> 00:07:21.550 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:07:21.550 --> 00:07:24.550 And ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:07:24.550 --> 00:07:26.550 I said, "O Messenger of Allah, 00:07:26.550 --> 00:07:32.550 tell me, if you descended into a valley where there was a tree that had been grazed upon, 00:07:32.550 --> 00:07:35.550 and you found a tree that had not been grazed upon, 00:07:35.550 --> 00:07:38.579 which one would you let your camel graze from?" 00:07:38.579 --> 00:07:39.579 He said, 00:07:39.579 --> 00:07:42.579 "The one that had not been grazed upon." 00:07:42.579 --> 00:07:49.680 She meant that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, had not married any virgin other than her. 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:51.680 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:57.959 His, peace be upon him, knowledge of her varying moods. 00:07:57.959 --> 00:08:01.379 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:08:01.379 --> 00:08:05.379 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said to me, 00:08:05.379 --> 00:08:08.379 "I certainly know when you are pleased with me, 00:08:08.379 --> 00:08:11.379 and when you are angry with me." 00:08:11.379 --> 00:08:13.470 She said: 00:08:13.470 --> 00:08:14.470 I asked, 00:08:14.470 --> 00:08:16.470 "How do you know that?" 00:08:16.470 --> 00:08:17.470 He said, 00:08:17.470 --> 00:08:20.470 "When you are pleased with me, 00:08:20.470 --> 00:08:24.470 you say, 'No, by the Lord of Muhammad.' 00:08:24.470 --> 00:08:27.470 But when you are angry with me, 00:08:27.470 --> 00:08:30.470 you say, 'No, by the Lord of Ibrahim.'" 00:08:30.470 --> 00:08:31.500 She said: 00:08:31.500 --> 00:08:32.500 I said, 00:08:32.500 --> 00:08:35.500 "Indeed, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah, 00:08:35.500 --> 00:08:37.500 I only avoid mentioning your name." 00:08:37.500 --> 00:08:40.629 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:08:40.629 --> 00:08:46.429 He, peace be upon him, would converse with her during the last part of the night. 00:08:46.429 --> 00:08:48.750 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said 00:08:48.750 --> 00:08:53.750 that the Prophet, peace be upon him, would pray, 00:08:53.750 --> 00:08:56.750 and if I were awake, he would talk to me, 00:08:56.750 --> 00:09:00.750 otherwise, he would lie down until the call to prayer. 00:09:00.750 --> 00:09:02.779 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:09:02.779 --> 00:09:09.159 He, peace be upon him, would be intimate with her while she was menstruating. 00:09:09.159 --> 00:09:12.539 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:09:12.539 --> 00:09:17.539 I would perform ghusl with the Prophet, peace be upon him, 00:09:17.539 --> 00:09:19.539 from a single vessel, 00:09:19.539 --> 00:09:20.539 both of us being in a state of major ritual impurity. 00:09:20.539 --> 00:09:23.539 He would command me to wear an izar (waist wrapper), 00:09:23.539 --> 00:09:26.539 then he would be intimate with me while I was menstruating. 00:09:26.539 --> 00:09:30.580 He would lean his head toward me while he was in i‘tikaf (seclusion in the mosque), 00:09:30.580 --> 00:09:33.580 and I would wash it while I was menstruating. 00:09:33.580 --> 00:09:35.740 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:09:35.740 --> 00:09:43.700 He, peace be upon him, would recline in her lap and recite the Qur'an. 00:09:43.700 --> 00:09:46.950 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:09:46.950 --> 00:09:53.950 The Prophet, peace be upon him, would recline in my lap while I was menstruating, 00:09:53.950 --> 00:09:56.950 and then he would recite the Qur'an. 00:09:56.950 --> 00:09:58.980 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:09:58.980 --> 00:10:06.980 He, peace be upon him, was mindful of her need for recreation and permissible play. 00:10:06.980 --> 00:10:10.299 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 00:10:10.299 --> 00:10:15.299 I used to play with dolls in the presence of the Prophet, peace be upon him, 00:10:15.299 --> 00:10:19.299 and I had friends who would play with me. 00:10:19.299 --> 00:10:25.299 When the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, would enter, they would hide from him, 00:10:25.299 --> 00:10:29.299 so he would send them to me, and they would play with me. 00:10:29.299 --> 00:10:32.389 Narrated by al-Bukhari. 00:10:32.389 --> 00:10:38.509 He, peace be upon him, would race with her and play with her. 00:10:38.509 --> 00:10:41.929 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, 00:10:41.929 --> 00:10:46.929 was with the Prophet, peace be upon him, on a journey. 00:10:46.929 --> 00:10:47.929 She said: 00:10:47.929 --> 00:10:51.929 "I raced him, and I beat him on foot. 00:10:51.929 --> 00:10:54.960 Later, when I had gained some weight, 00:10:54.960 --> 00:10:57.960 I raced him again, and he beat me." 00:10:57.960 --> 00:10:58.960 He said, 00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:02.090 "This is for that race." 00:11:02.090 --> 00:11:05.759 Narrated by Abu Dawud. 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:12.820 These are examples from the life of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, with ‘A’ishah. 00:11:12.820 --> 00:11:16.820 So, how are you, noble man, with your wife? 00:11:16.820 --> 00:11:21.590 We shall continue in a future meeting, if Allah wills. 00:11:21.590 --> 00:11:25.590 And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.