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Our mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.

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“O ‘A’ishah, and from where would the resemblance come?”

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The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, praised modesty (haya’).

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He said, “Modesty is entirely good.”

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Narrated by Muslim.

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He, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, also said,

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“Modesty brings nothing but good.”

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Narrated by al-Bukhari.

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When the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, passed

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by a man from the Ansar

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who was admonishing his brother for being too modest,

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he said to him,

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“Leave him, for modesty is part of faith.”

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Narrated by al-Bukhari.

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If this is the description of modesty,

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it cannot lead to the loss of rights

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or the spread of ignorance among people,

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especially since modesty is a branch of faith.

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However, what some people fall into

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is confusing modesty

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with certain negative traits

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that lead to the loss of rights and silence in the face of injustice,

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such as fear, cowardice, and weakness.

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They label these as modesty.

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Al-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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“As for the statement that modesty is entirely good

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and brings nothing but good,

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some people may find this difficult to reconcile

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because a modest person

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might be too shy to confront someone they respect with the truth,

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and thus abandon enjoining good and forbidding evil.

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Modesty might also lead them

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to fail to fulfill certain rights,

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and other such things known in common custom.”

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The answer to this is what a group of scholars provided,

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among them Shaykh Abu ‘Umar Ibn al-Salah, may Allah have mercy on him:

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“This obstacle we have mentioned

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is not true modesty;

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rather, it is incapacity, weakness, and baseness.

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Its labeling as modesty is merely a colloquial usage by some,

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applied metaphorically due to its resemblance to true modesty.

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The reality of modesty is

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a character trait that prompts one to abandon what is ugly

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and prevents one from falling short in the rights of those who are entitled to them,

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and the like.”

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Abu Qatadah said:

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“We were with ‘Imran Ibn Husayn in a group,

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and among us was Bashir Ibn Ka‘b.

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‘Imran narrated to us that day,

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and he said:

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‘The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

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Modesty is entirely good.’”

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Bashir Ibn Ka‘b said:

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“We find in some books or wisdom

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that part of it is tranquility and dignity for the sake of Allah,

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and part of it is weakness.”

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He said:

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‘Imran became so angry that his eyes turned red,

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and he said:

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“Do I not see myself narrating to you from the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

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and you are contradicting it?”

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He said:

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‘Imran repeated the hadith.

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He said:

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Bashir repeated his objection.

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‘Imran became angry.

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He said:

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We kept saying to him,

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“He is one of us, O Abu Nujayd,

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there is no harm in him.”

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Narrated by Muslim.

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‘Imran Ibn Husayn was angry with Bashir

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for contradicting the hadith of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

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with what he found in the cultures of other nations.

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The duty of the believer

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is to submit to the words of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

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with absolute submission,

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and not to prioritize anyone’s opinion over his,

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nor to contradict it with anything.

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Modesty is an innate trait in women,

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developing with them from a young age,

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yet it is susceptible to alteration and change

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according to the upbringing one receives in their primary environment,

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or the effects of mixing with men in the various arenas of life.

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Modesty increases and decreases in both men and women,

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and the fortunate one is he who increases in modesty

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and increases in faith.

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In a beautiful story

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that took place in the presence of ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,

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the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, utilized it to teach and nurture ‘A’ishah,

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while answering the question of the Ansari woman.

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From ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her:

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Umm Sulaym the Ansari woman said:

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“O Messenger of Allah,

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Allah, the Almighty, is not shy of the truth.

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Does a woman have to perform ghusl if she sees in a dream what a man sees?”

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“Does she have to perform ghusl or not?”

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‘A’ishah said:

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The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

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“Yes,

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she must perform ghusl if she sees the fluid.”

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‘A’ishah said:

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I turned to her

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and said, “Shame on you!

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Does a woman actually see that?”

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The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, turned to me and said:

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“May your right hand be rubbed with dust, O ‘A’ishah!

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From where would the resemblance come?”

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Narrated by Muslim.

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This story contains several educational benefits:

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Among them is the sagacity and intelligence of Umm Sulaym,

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as she prefaced her question with an introduction that would excuse her for what she wanted to mention,

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which a woman would normally be shy to mention in front of men.

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She said:

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“Allah, the Almighty, is not shy of the truth.”

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Al-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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“The scholars said:

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Its meaning is that He does not refrain from explaining the truth,

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or from setting forth a parable of a mosquito or something similar,

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as He, the Glorified and Exalted, said:

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“Lo! Allah disdaineth not to coin the similitude even of a gnat. Those who believe know that it is the truth from their Lord; but those who disbelieve say: What doth Allah wish (to teach) by such a similitude? He misleadeth many thereby, and He guideth many thereby; and He misleadeth thereby only miscreants;” (2:26)

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Thus, I do not refrain from asking about what I am in need of.”

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It was also said that its meaning is:

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“Allah does not command modesty regarding the truth, nor does He permit it.”

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She said this as an apology before her question

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regarding what she needed to know,

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which women are usually shy to ask about

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or mention in the presence of men.

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Among the benefits is the eagerness of the female Companions to gain understanding in the religion.

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Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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“In this hadith

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is a clarification of the state of the women of that time,

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in their concern for the affairs of their religion

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and asking about them.

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This is incumbent upon every believing man and woman:

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if they are ignorant of something in their religion, they must ask about it.”

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Among the benefits is that modesty does not prevent one from seeking knowledge.

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Al-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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“It indicates that whoever encounters an issue should ask about it,

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and not refrain from asking out of shyness to mention it,

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for that is not true modesty,

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because modesty is entirely good,

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and modesty brings nothing but good.

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Refraining from asking in this situation is not good;

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rather, it is evil.

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So how could it be modesty?”

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Among the benefits is the permissibility of a woman asking a chaste scholar about her religious affairs,

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even if it is something one is usually shy to mention.

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Among the benefits is

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the use of beautiful language to express one’s intent without obscenity,

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as Umm Sulaym said:

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“Does a woman have to perform ghusl if she sees in a dream what a man sees?”

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“Does she have to perform ghusl or not?”

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Among the benefits is

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that women are the counterparts of men

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regarding the issue of nocturnal emission and what follows from it.

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Among the benefits is correcting the one who is mistaken

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and rectifying their opinion with evidence and proof.

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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, disapproved of Umm Sulaym’s question,

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so the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, corrected her

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and explained the truth of the matter to her.

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Among the benefits is using rational deduction for religious issues,

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for the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to ‘A’ishah,

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in explaining that a woman experiences nocturnal emission and sees the fluid,

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by saying:

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“And from where would the resemblance come?”

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Among the benefits is that a woman who asks about her religion,

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even regarding issues that are considered shameful,

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is acting in a praiseworthy manner,

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and it is not permissible to admonish, discourage,

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or condemn her action.

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The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, defended Umm Sulaym

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for her question about nocturnal emission,

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which is when a woman sees in her dream what a man sees

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of full intimacy between her and a man.

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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, praised the women of the Ansar,

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saying:

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“How excellent are the women of the Ansar!

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Modesty did not prevent them from gaining understanding in the religion.”

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O Allah, grant us understanding in Your religion,

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teach us what benefits us,

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benefit us with what You have taught us, and increase us in knowledge.

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We will continue in a future meeting, if Allah wills.

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And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

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Our mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.