Our mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.
“O ‘A’ishah, and from where would the resemblance come?”
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, praised modesty (haya’).
He said, “Modesty is entirely good.”
Narrated by Muslim.
He, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, also said,
“Modesty brings nothing but good.”
Narrated by al-Bukhari.
When the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, passed
by a man from the Ansar
who was admonishing his brother for being too modest,
he said to him,
“Leave him, for modesty is part of faith.”
Narrated by al-Bukhari.
If this is the description of modesty,
it cannot lead to the loss of rights
or the spread of ignorance among people,
especially since modesty is a branch of faith.
However, what some people fall into
is confusing modesty
with certain negative traits
that lead to the loss of rights and silence in the face of injustice,
such as fear, cowardice, and weakness.
They label these as modesty.
Al-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
“As for the statement that modesty is entirely good
and brings nothing but good,
some people may find this difficult to reconcile
because a modest person
might be too shy to confront someone they respect with the truth,
and thus abandon enjoining good and forbidding evil.
Modesty might also lead them
to fail to fulfill certain rights,
and other such things known in common custom.”
The answer to this is what a group of scholars provided,
among them Shaykh Abu ‘Umar Ibn al-Salah, may Allah have mercy on him:
“This obstacle we have mentioned
is not true modesty;
rather, it is incapacity, weakness, and baseness.
Its labeling as modesty is merely a colloquial usage by some,
applied metaphorically due to its resemblance to true modesty.
The reality of modesty is
a character trait that prompts one to abandon what is ugly
and prevents one from falling short in the rights of those who are entitled to them,
and the like.”
Abu Qatadah said:
“We were with ‘Imran Ibn Husayn in a group,
and among us was Bashir Ibn Ka‘b.
‘Imran narrated to us that day,
and he said:
‘The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
Modesty is entirely good.’”
Bashir Ibn Ka‘b said:
“We find in some books or wisdom
that part of it is tranquility and dignity for the sake of Allah,
and part of it is weakness.”
He said:
‘Imran became so angry that his eyes turned red,
and he said:
“Do I not see myself narrating to you from the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
and you are contradicting it?”
He said:
‘Imran repeated the hadith.
He said:
Bashir repeated his objection.
‘Imran became angry.
He said:
We kept saying to him,
“He is one of us, O Abu Nujayd,
there is no harm in him.”
Narrated by Muslim.
‘Imran Ibn Husayn was angry with Bashir
for contradicting the hadith of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
with what he found in the cultures of other nations.
The duty of the believer
is to submit to the words of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,
with absolute submission,
and not to prioritize anyone’s opinion over his,
nor to contradict it with anything.
Modesty is an innate trait in women,
developing with them from a young age,
yet it is susceptible to alteration and change
according to the upbringing one receives in their primary environment,
or the effects of mixing with men in the various arenas of life.
Modesty increases and decreases in both men and women,
and the fortunate one is he who increases in modesty
and increases in faith.
In a beautiful story
that took place in the presence of ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,
the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, utilized it to teach and nurture ‘A’ishah,
while answering the question of the Ansari woman.
From ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her:
Umm Sulaym the Ansari woman said:
“O Messenger of Allah,
Allah, the Almighty, is not shy of the truth.
Does a woman have to perform ghusl if she sees in a dream what a man sees?”
“Does she have to perform ghusl or not?”
‘A’ishah said:
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“Yes,
she must perform ghusl if she sees the fluid.”
‘A’ishah said:
I turned to her
and said, “Shame on you!
Does a woman actually see that?”
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, turned to me and said:
“May your right hand be rubbed with dust, O ‘A’ishah!
From where would the resemblance come?”
Narrated by Muslim.
This story contains several educational benefits:
Among them is the sagacity and intelligence of Umm Sulaym,
as she prefaced her question with an introduction that would excuse her for what she wanted to mention,
which a woman would normally be shy to mention in front of men.
She said:
“Allah, the Almighty, is not shy of the truth.”
Al-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
“The scholars said:
Its meaning is that He does not refrain from explaining the truth,
or from setting forth a parable of a mosquito or something similar,
as He, the Glorified and Exalted, said:
“Lo! Allah disdaineth not to coin the similitude even of a gnat. Those who believe know that it is the truth from their Lord; but those who disbelieve say: What doth Allah wish (to teach) by such a similitude? He misleadeth many thereby, and He guideth many thereby; and He misleadeth thereby only miscreants;” (2:26)
Thus, I do not refrain from asking about what I am in need of.”
It was also said that its meaning is:
“Allah does not command modesty regarding the truth, nor does He permit it.”
She said this as an apology before her question
regarding what she needed to know,
which women are usually shy to ask about
or mention in the presence of men.
Among the benefits is the eagerness of the female Companions to gain understanding in the religion.
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
“In this hadith
is a clarification of the state of the women of that time,
in their concern for the affairs of their religion
and asking about them.
This is incumbent upon every believing man and woman:
if they are ignorant of something in their religion, they must ask about it.”
Among the benefits is that modesty does not prevent one from seeking knowledge.
Al-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
“It indicates that whoever encounters an issue should ask about it,
and not refrain from asking out of shyness to mention it,
for that is not true modesty,
because modesty is entirely good,
and modesty brings nothing but good.
Refraining from asking in this situation is not good;
rather, it is evil.
So how could it be modesty?”
Among the benefits is the permissibility of a woman asking a chaste scholar about her religious affairs,
even if it is something one is usually shy to mention.
Among the benefits is
the use of beautiful language to express one’s intent without obscenity,
as Umm Sulaym said:
“Does a woman have to perform ghusl if she sees in a dream what a man sees?”
“Does she have to perform ghusl or not?”
Among the benefits is
that women are the counterparts of men
regarding the issue of nocturnal emission and what follows from it.
Among the benefits is correcting the one who is mistaken
and rectifying their opinion with evidence and proof.
‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, disapproved of Umm Sulaym’s question,
so the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, corrected her
and explained the truth of the matter to her.
Among the benefits is using rational deduction for religious issues,
for the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to ‘A’ishah,
in explaining that a woman experiences nocturnal emission and sees the fluid,
by saying:
“And from where would the resemblance come?”
Among the benefits is that a woman who asks about her religion,
even regarding issues that are considered shameful,
is acting in a praiseworthy manner,
and it is not permissible to admonish, discourage,
or condemn her action.
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, defended Umm Sulaym
for her question about nocturnal emission,
which is when a woman sees in her dream what a man sees
of full intimacy between her and a man.
‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, praised the women of the Ansar,
saying:
“How excellent are the women of the Ansar!
Modesty did not prevent them from gaining understanding in the religion.”
O Allah, grant us understanding in Your religion,
teach us what benefits us,
benefit us with what You have taught us, and increase us in knowledge.
We will continue in a future meeting, if Allah wills.
And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
Our mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.