WEBVTT

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In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

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Categories of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar'.

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Umm Zar' and the Beauty of the Family Environment.

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Among the blessings of happiness a woman can attain in her marital life

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is to be granted a close-knit, wise, and sensible family,

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encompassed by love, tolerance, and noble character,

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completely free from troubles—

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whether from the husband, his relatives,

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the children, or the servants.

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Umm Zar' was truly blessed with all of this,

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and she recounted the details herself, saying:

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"The mother of Abu Zar'—and what can describe the mother of Abu Zar'!

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Her storage bags were full, and her house was spacious.

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The son of Abu Zar'—and what can describe the son of Abu Zar'!

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His sleeping place was like a drawn palm branch,

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and the arm of a four-month-old kid would satisfy his hunger.

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The daughter of Abu Zar'—and what can describe the daughter of Abu Zar'!

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She was obedient to her father, obedient to her mother,

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filled out her clothes gracefully, and was the envy of her female neighbor.

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The maidservant of Abu Zar'—and what can describe the maidservant of Abu Zar'!

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She never divulged our secrets abroad,

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nor embezzled our provisions wastefully,

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nor left our home untidy with scattered refuse."

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This was the household that surrounded Umm Zar'.

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However, these eloquent, classical Arabic words

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with which Umm Zar' described the members of this household

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require explanation,

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so that the beauty of that environment becomes clear to us,

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along with the immense bliss in which Umm Zar' lived,

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leading us to wonder:

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How did she eventually lose this bliss?

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And did she cause its loss through her own misbehavior?

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Before answering this question,

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we will highlight the beauty of the family environment in which Umm Zar' lived.

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First: The mother of Abu Zar'.

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Umm Zar' said of her:

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"Her storage bags were full, and her house was spacious."

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She praised her mother-in-law in two respects:

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First, she praised her person,

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saying that "her storage bags were full" (*'ukūmuhā radāḥ*).

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The word *'ukūm* carries two meanings.

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The first meaning

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refers to large sacks or trunks

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in which provisions and goods are kept;

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she described them as heavy and brimming with possessions.

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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"*Al-'ukūm*

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are the packed hampers and sacks containing vessels

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filled with various kinds of food and goods,

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the singular being *'ikm*."

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As for her description *radāḥ*,

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he explains:

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"They are large, bulky, and heavily packed."

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The second meaning

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refers to a woman's hips and buttocks,

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also termed *kafal*.

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According to this, the meaning is

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that she possessed full, ample buttocks,

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and due to their fullness,

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they folded with layers of fat.

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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"It is possible that the expression *'ukūm* and its plumpness (*radāḥah*) was an allusion

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to her hips and their fullness,

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just as one says

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'a *radāḥ* maiden,'

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meaning one with ample hips.

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She used the plural *'ukūm* (sacks) for the hip due to its immense size,

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as though each side of it were an entire sack."

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Both meanings

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demonstrate that the mother of Abu Zar'

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lived the lavish life of the wealthy and prosperous,

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to the point of possessing abundant storage chests for her belongings

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due to their great quantity and diversity;

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likewise, she enjoyed ample food

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which left its distinct marks upon her body,

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seen in plumpness, luxury, and vibrant physical health.

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Second, she praised her house,

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describing it as expansive in its bounties and courtyard.

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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"She used the spaciousness of the house and the breadth of the courtyard as an allusion

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to its abundant bounty,

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its comfortable living,

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and generosity toward whoever visited it;

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just as people use 'welcome' (*marḥaban*, from *raḥb*, spaciousness) to express the same,

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saying: 'Welcome!'

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They also say:

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'So-and-so has a spacious home,'

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by which they do not mean its physical dimensions,

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but rather his abundant goodness and generous hospitality."

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But why did she praise her mother-in-law?

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Ibn Hajar, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"By describing her husband's mother, she indicated

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that her husband was exceptionally dutiful to his mother,

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and that he was not advanced in age,

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for that is typically the case

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with someone whose mother is described in such youthful terms."

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Thus, this was a praise of her husband

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as well as of his mother.

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Furthermore, if her mother-in-law was relatively young

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and yet no conflict arose between her and Umm Zar'

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regarding the usual jealousy found among women,

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this was a true blessing enjoyed by Umm Zar'—

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to be free of rivalry

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over the heart of this noble young man, Abu Zar'.

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Second:

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The son of Abu Zar'.

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Umm Zar' said of him:

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"His sleeping place was like a drawn palm branch,

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and the arm of a four-month-old kid would satisfy his hunger."

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She praised him for his slender build,

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requiring only a narrow space to lie in,

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like a single reed drawn from a woven mat,

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and being satisfied with very little food.

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He was not a glutton

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who burdened her with demands for food,

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its quantity, or its variety.

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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"She alluded to this by noting that the place where he slept was so narrow

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that it was like the strip left by a single reed

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when drawn out from a woven palm mat,

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leaving an empty slot among its counterparts;

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and this slender build was an attribute praised among Arab men."

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Ibn Hajar, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"Similarly, her statement:

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'and the arm of a kid would satisfy his hunger,'

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indicates that he did not consume what she possessed,

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let alone demand it;

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rather, if he ate at her home,

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he would be content with very little,

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just enough of food and drink to sustain himself."

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This too was among the blessings she enjoyed with the son of Abu Zar'.

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Third:

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The daughter of Abu Zar'.

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Umm Zar' said of her:

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"She was obedient to her father, obedient to her mother,

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filled out her clothes gracefully, and was the envy of her female neighbor."

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She praised her for three qualities:

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First,

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her obedience to her parents.

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This is among the greatest sources of happiness for a woman:

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to have her daughter be obedient to her,

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because a daughter often

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competes with her mother for the father's affection,

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and troubles frequently arise

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between a daughter and her mother

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due to stubbornness and mutual jealousy.

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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"That is, she was dutiful to them both,

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never opposing their judgment,

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which demonstrates her modesty and sound intellect."

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Second,

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she praised the beauty of her body.

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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"She described her as being of full figure

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and well-fleshed,

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expressing that by saying she filled out her garment;

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for a garment is only filled out by a well-proportioned, statuesque body,

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a complete figure,

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ample flesh,

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and a delicate, well-nourished frame;

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and this is among the qualities for which women were praised,

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while dispraised for their opposite."

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Third,

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her peers envied her

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because of the beauty and excellent manners she possessed.

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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"She further reinforced her praise of her

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by indicating that she was the finest of her fellow women—

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meaning the women of her era or her tribe—

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and that due to her consummate beauty

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and the harmony between her outward perfection and her noble character,

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she was 'the grief of her neighbor,'

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meaning her co-wife or her neighbor;

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whatever she saw of her qualities distressed her, stirred her jealousy,

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and left her bewildered."

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If we look closely at Umm Zar's praise of her family,

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we find that she focused heavily on physical, aesthetic appearances.

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And this is not surprising,

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for the women of the Pre-Islamic Period of Ignorance (Jahiliyyah)

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directed their utmost concern toward physical appearance.

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As for a woman's intellect and heart,

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that concern belongs to those who adhere to the teachings of Islam;

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otherwise, even Muslim women today

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have become preoccupied with sculpting the body according to modern European, ignorant standards.

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I ask Allah to grant them guidance and success.

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Fourth:

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The maidservant of Abu Zar'.

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She praised her with three lovely traits

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that every woman desires in her domestic helper,

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saying:

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"She never divulged our secrets abroad,

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nor embezzled our provisions wastefully,

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nor left our home untidy with scattered refuse."

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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

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"She described her as trustworthy regarding secrets and property,

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dedicated to serving their interests with sincere goodwill:

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she never disclosed their private talk,

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nor squandered their food or acted deceitfully with it,

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nor did she carry it outside to others;

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she neither spoiled nor squandered it;

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nor did she sow resentment among them;

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nor did she neglect their service or the upkeep of their home.

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This was a maidservant who would earn the highest possible rating in managing a household.

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This was merely part of the bliss in which Umm Zar' lived,

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and which every woman longs for in her life.

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How, then, did she come to lose this bliss?

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And was the real reason truly as she recounted at the end of her hadith:

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that he simply went out, saw another woman, and divorced her?

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Or were there other underlying reasons she concealed,

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which were the true causes of the divorce?

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We shall continue in our next gathering, if Allah wills.

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And all praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds.