Part of Women's Suffering (series completed)
· Lesson 17 of 18
The suffering of women in the time of Moses, peace be upon him | Episode (17) | Women's suffering in marriage
0:000:00
Transcript
Machine translation — may contain errors
0:00
The Story of Women’s Suffering in the Time of Moses (peace be upon him)
0:06
A Woman’s Suffering in Marriage
0:13
A woman naturally desires to be sought after, not the seeker—cherished and pursued by a man.
0:19
This is something every woman loves to feel.
0:23
She wants to see young men coming forward to propose, eagerly seeking her approval,
0:29
while she chooses among them the one who pleases her,
0:32
according to the criteria she desires
0:35
and the dreams she builds for her future family life.
0:40
However, a woman may suffer from the lack of those qualities she seeks in a future husband
0:46
if she lives in a society where men possessing such desired traits are scarce.
0:53
Today, a righteous and religious woman
0:56
does not seek wealth or fame;
0:59
rather, she seeks a righteous, upright man
1:03
whose adherence to his religion is evident in his obedience to his Lord,
1:08
and whose noble character shines through in his dealings with people.
1:12
Here lies a woman’s struggle on her journey toward marriage:
1:18
many young men may propose to her,
1:21
yet she is unsatisfied with their commitment to religion.
1:24
Years pass by as she waits,
1:27
while others move ahead of her in marriage, childbirth,
1:31
and fulfilling motherhood, yet she continues to wait—
1:35
because a woman of principle will not accept just any man to share her life with.
1:40
This struggle that women face today in some societies
1:46
was experienced by the righteous young woman in the city of Madyan
1:50
during the time of Moses (peace be upon him).
1:53
The men of Madyan lacked chivalry, protective jealousy over women, and compassion;
2:00
they were harsh and treated women callously,
2:04
as we noted in a previous episode.
2:08
We add in this episode that trustworthiness was rare among the men of Madyan,
2:14
as evidenced by the daughter's statement to her father.
2:17
“One of the two women said: O my father! Hire him! For the best (man) that thou canst hire in the strong, the trustworthy.” (28:26)
2:23
Had trustworthiness been a widespread trait among the men of Madyan,
2:28
the daughter would not have said those words to her father;
2:32
for the need for someone to shepherd the flock
2:35
existed long before the arrival of Moses (peace be upon him).
2:39
The obstacle to hiring a worker from the people of Madyan
2:44
was the absence or extreme rarity of trustworthiness among them.
2:48
A righteous woman looks for a husband who is trustworthy, strong,
2:52
chivalrous, and possessive of protective jealousy over his women.
2:56
The two women, daughters of the righteous man,
3:00
were raised upon lofty morals
3:04
that were clearly reflected in their conduct in life,
3:07
both outside and inside the home.
3:10
As for outside the home, they were raised to avoid
3:14
mixing with unrelated men,
3:17
as indicated by His Almighty's saying:
3:20
“And when he came unto the water of Midian he found there a whole tribe of men, watering. And he found apart from them two women keeping back (their flocks). He said: What aileth you? The two said: We cannot give (our flocks) to drink till the shepherds return from the water; and our father is a very old man.” (28:23)
3:24
"...a crowd of people watering [their flocks],"
3:27
"and he found besides them two women keeping back [their flocks]."
3:31
They were also raised to understand that speaking to an unrelated man
3:35
should be strictly out of necessity and delivered with complete clarity,
3:39
as indicated by His Almighty's statement regarding them:
3:42
"He said, 'What is your affair?'"
3:45
"They said, 'We cannot water until the shepherds dispatch [their flocks],'"
3:49
"'and our father is a very old man.'"
3:52
And His Almighty's saying:
3:54
“Then there came unto him one of the two women, walking shyly. She said: Lo! my father biddeth thee, that he may reward thee with a payment for that thou didst water (the flock) for us. Then, when he came unto him and told him the (whole) story, he said: Fear not! Thou hast escaped from the wrongdoing folk.” (28:25)
4:01
Ibn Kathir (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
4:04
"This was a polite and refined expression;
4:06
she did not invite him in an unconditional or suggestive manner,
4:09
but rather in a way that left no room for suspicion,
4:11
“Then there came unto him one of the two women, walking shyly. She said: Lo! my father biddeth thee, that he may reward thee with a payment for that thou didst water (the flock) for us. Then, when he came unto him and told him the (whole) story, he said: Fear not! Thou hast escaped from the wrongdoing folk.” (28:25)
4:17
meaning: so that he may reward and compensate you for watering our sheep."
4:23
She was also raised upon modesty,
4:26
which is a woman's true adornment
4:29
and from which all other noble ethics radiate;
4:32
for modesty is a branch of faith.
4:36
This modesty clearly influenced her movements outside the home.
4:40
Allah Almighty said:
4:42
“Then there came unto him one of the two women, walking shyly. She said: Lo! my father biddeth thee, that he may reward thee with a payment for that thou didst water (the flock) for us. Then, when he came unto him and told him the (whole) story, he said: Fear not! Thou hast escaped from the wrongdoing folk.” (28:25)
4:46
Indeed, the task for which she went out
4:49
was extremely difficult for her soul:
4:52
inviting Moses—a complete stranger to her—
4:55
to meet her father.
4:58
The difficulty stemmed from the intense modesty
5:01
with which she was adorned.
5:03
Al-Sa'di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
5:05
"'Then one of the two came to him walking bashfully.'
5:08
This indicates her noble origin
5:11
and her refined character,
5:13
for modesty is among the most virtuous morals,
5:16
especially in women."
5:18
Such a modest woman
5:22
is completely unsuited for a man who lacks chivalry,
5:25
who is harsh, rude,
5:27
devoid of protective jealousy for his women,
5:29
and untrustworthy with people's wealth—
5:33
so how could he ever be trusted with this woman?
5:36
However, this modest woman,
5:39
when she found the qualities desired
5:42
by every young woman in a husband
5:44
embodied in the Prophet of Allah, Moses,
5:47
subtly hinted to her father her wish to marry him,
5:51
saying:
5:53
"O my father, hire him..."
5:55
“One of the two women said: O my father! Hire him! For the best (man) that thou canst hire in the strong, the trustworthy.” (28:26)
5:59
Al-Sa'di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
6:01
"Meaning that Moses is the most worthy person to be hired,
6:04
for he combines both strength and trustworthiness,
6:07
and the best person you can hire is one who combines these two traits:
6:11
strength and ability to perform the required task,
6:15
and trustworthiness to refrain from betrayal.
6:18
These two qualities
6:20
ought to be considered
6:22
in anyone entrusted with
6:24
a task, whether through employment or otherwise.
6:27
For shortcoming only occurs
6:29
due to the absence of both or one of them;
6:32
whereas when both are present,
6:34
the work is completed and perfected.
6:37
She only said that
6:40
because she witnessed Moses's physical strength
6:43
when he watered the flock for them, as well as his vigor,
6:45
through which she recognized his strength;
6:47
and she witnessed his trustworthiness and piety,
6:50
and that he showed them mercy
6:52
in a situation where he expected no benefit from them,
6:55
seeking by his action only
6:57
the countenance of Allah Almighty."
7:00
Indeed, this characterization by the woman
7:02
of this stranger
7:04
could not simply pass by her father
7:06
unexamined—
7:08
he was the one who raised her upon modesty
7:10
and taught her how to interact
7:12
with unrelated men.
7:14
Thus, he quickly understood her intention
7:16
and seized the opportunity.
7:18
Ibn Jarir
7:20
(may Allah have mercy on him) said:
7:22
"It was said that when she stated
7:24
that to her father,
7:26
her father inquired further,
7:28
questioning her about her description of him,
7:30
and asked her:
7:32
'And how do you know that?'
7:34
She replied:
7:36
'As for his strength,
7:38
I saw how he handled
7:40
the heavy stone at the well when watering the flock;
7:42
and as for his trustworthiness,
7:44
I saw how he lowered his gaze from me.'
7:46
Similar reports have been transmitted
7:48
from the scholars of Tafsir."
7:53
This description from her
7:55
demonstrates keen observation,
7:57
just as it reflects admiration
7:59
for this young man.
8:01
The affectionate father realized
8:03
what had touched his daughter's heart
8:05
from the very beginning of the story.
8:07
Ibn Kathir (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
8:09
"When the two women returned
8:11
quickly with the sheep to their father,
8:13
he was surprised by their situation
8:15
because of their early return,
8:17
so he asked them about
8:19
what had happened.
8:21
They recounted to him the deed of
8:23
Moses (peace be upon him).
8:25
Then one of them came to him
8:27
to invite him to her father.
8:29
Allah Almighty said:
8:31
'Then one of the two came to him,
8:33
walking bashfully,'
8:35
meaning walking with the dignity of noble, freeborn women."
8:40
This righteous father
8:42
recognized his daughter's need for marriage;
8:44
he understood her hint
8:46
when she mentioned the most vital qualities of a righteous husband,
8:48
so he promptly initiated by offering
8:50
one of his two daughters to Moses,
8:52
allowing him to choose whichever he wished
8:54
to marry.
8:56
He said:
8:58
“He said: Lo! I fain would marry thee to one of these two daughters of mine on condition that thou hirest thyself to me for (the term of) eight pilgrimages. Then if thou completest ten it will be of thine own accord, for I would not make it hard for thee. Allah willing, thou wilt find me of the righteous.” (28:27)
9:00
"...one of these two daughters of mine..."
9:02
Thus, it is fitting
9:04
for a righteous man
9:06
to seize the opportunity whenever
9:08
it presents itself to marry off his daughter
9:10
to a righteous man.
9:12
Consider, my dear sister,
9:14
how Allah, the Mighty and Sublime, honored
9:16
the woman who held fast to her religion and modesty—
9:18
she who had been suffering
9:20
from the lack of true manhood
9:22
among the youth of Madyan—
9:24
by bringing her a righteous husband,
9:26
indeed a noble Prophet
9:28
from among the resolute Messengers (Ulu al-'Azm),
9:30
coming from outside her city
9:32
to marry her.
9:34
We shall continue in a future
9:37
gathering, Allah willing.
9:39
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
9:43
The Story of the Suffering
9:46
of Women
9:48
in the Time of Moses
9:50
(peace be upon him).