The suffering of women in the time of Moses, peace be upon him | Episode (13) | The suffering of women in an urban society

0:00 The story of woman's suffering during the time of Moses, peace be upon him.

0:06 The suffering of woman in the society of Madyan.

0:15 When Moses learned of the conspiracy hatched against him by the chiefs of Pharaoh's people,

0:20 A well-wisher advised him to flee the country.

0:24 Thus, peace be upon him, he set out toward Madyan.

0:27 And upon reaching Madyan,

0:29 The very first sight he encountered was that which Allah recounted to us in His saying:

0:34 “And when he came unto the water of Midian he found there a whole tribe of men, watering. And he found apart from them two women keeping back (their flocks). He said: What aileth you? The two said: We cannot give (our flocks) to drink till the shepherds return from the water; and our father is a very old man.” (28:23)

0:41 "And he found beside them two women holding back [their flock]."

0:45 It was a remarkable scene,

0:47 Laden with indications revealing the nature of the people in the city of Madyan—

0:53 A nature that Moses, peace be upon him, found entirely unacceptable.

0:58 He saw men bringing their livestock and herds to drink at the water of the well,

1:04 While beside them he found two women holding back their flock from approaching the water.

1:10 The significance of this scene reveals to us a glimpse of woman's suffering in Madyanite society.

1:17 This sight demonstrates the nature of men devoid of compassion for women,

1:25 For they offered them no assistance in watering their livestock.

1:28 This reflects a callousness and harshness in the disposition of these men, whose hearts remained unmoved by the sight of two women struggling with their sheep.

1:39 This very callousness and harshness evident in this scene

1:44 Illustrates the manner in which men treated women in the society of Madyan,

1:49 Whether the woman was a wife, a daughter, a sister,

1:55 Or any other woman among the general populace—

1:58 And perhaps even the same harsh treatment was extended to mothers.

2:02 In the story of the man who saw the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, kissing Al-Hasan,

2:08 There lies proof that kissing children is an expression of mercy.

2:11 Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated:

2:15 Allah's Messenger, peace be upon him, kissed Al-Hasan ibn 'Ali

2:20 While Al-Aqra' ibn Habis Al-Tamimi was sitting in his presence.

2:24 Al-Aqra' remarked: "I have ten children, yet I have never kissed any of them."

2:31 The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, looked at him and said:

2:37 "He who shows no mercy shall be shown no mercy."

2:40 Related by Al-Bukhari.

2:42 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated:

2:45 A Bedouin came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and asked:

2:50 "Do you kiss children? We do not kiss them."

2:55 The Prophet, peace be upon him, replied:

2:58 "Can I help it if Allah has stripped mercy from your heart?"

3:03 Related by Al-Bukhari.

3:05 These hadiths demonstrate that refraining from kissing children is evidence that mercy has been stripped from the heart.

3:13 Moreover, one who does not kiss a child typically fails to share tender kisses with his wife,

3:19 For inherent harshness and coldness prevent him from doing so.

3:23 Thus he approaches his wife without foreplay or affection.

3:28 If we envision such harshness among the men of Madyan,

3:33 We can appreciate the severity of their wives' suffering

3:38 Regarding intimate relations stripped of tenderness and preliminary affection,

3:42 As well as the emotional drought in daily marital interactions—

3:47 Which constitutes profound psychological suffering,

3:50 Endured continuously with husbands of this nature.

3:54 Another implication of the scene witnessed by Moses, peace be upon him,

3:58 Is the lack of chivalry among the men of Madyan.

4:01 Otherwise, how could their conscience allow them to see two women

4:05 Struggling to restrain their sheep

4:08 From coming down to the well where the men were drawing water,

4:11 Without it stirring any sympathy or action in them?

4:15 A lack of chivalry is typically accompanied by a lack of protective honor (ghirah)

4:21 Over female relatives.

4:23 And when a man's chivalry and protective honor for his women weaken,

4:27 Society falls into ruin:

4:29 Wrongdoing goes unrebuked when it manifests,

4:32 And virtue is no longer commanded when neglected.

4:35 The sensibilities of this class of men become

4:38 Completely desensitized toward the misconduct of women in society,

4:42 Or toward their mistreatment.

4:45 Another insight from this scene is that this vile trait—

4:49 Namely, the deficiency in chivalry and protective honor—

4:52 Was a widespread characteristic among the men of Madyan,

4:55 For not a single man among them moved to assist the two women in their ordeal,

5:00 Nor did anyone denounce the situation,

5:02 Despite this scene repeating daily before their eyes.

5:06 For watering livestock is not a once-a-year occurrence,

5:09 But rather an arduous daily chore.

5:13 This demonstrates that continuous exposure desensitizes the heart.

5:19 So, my dear sister, do you realize the suffering of a woman

5:22 Who lives in a society whose men possess no protective honor for their women,

5:27 And lack the chivalry to alleviate a woman's hardship,

5:31 Whatever that hardship may be,

5:34 Or to defend her against men's injustice?

5:37 Indeed, Allah, Mighty and Majestic is He,

5:40 Held society responsible for resolving a woman's predicament

5:44 Whenever discord arises between her and her husband.

5:46 For He said:

5:48 “And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware.” (4:35)

5:52 "So appoint an arbiter from his family

5:56 And an arbiter from her family.

6:08 If they both desire reconciliation,

6:12 Allah will cause harmony between them."

6:17 “And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware.” (4:35)

6:24 Thus Allah addressed them, saying:

6:27 "And if you fear..." addressing the wise and prominent figures of society,

6:31 And those who hold authority in the community.

6:34 Ibn al-'Arabi, may Allah have mercy on him, stated:

6:37 "As for he who asserts

6:39 That the addressees are the spouses themselves,

6:41 He has failed to comprehend Allah's Book, as we previously explained.

6:45 But as for he who asserts

6:47 That it refers to those in authority, that is the truth."

6:50 And He, the Exalted, said:

6:53 "And if you fear that they will not keep within the limits set by Allah,

6:57 There is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself."

7:00 Muhammad Abu Zahrah, may Allah have mercy on him, stated:

7:03 "The word *junah* means sin or blame,

7:06 Derived from *janaha*, meaning to incline.

7:09 *Iftida'* means redeeming oneself with property expended to secure freedom

7:15 And to avert harm from oneself;

7:17 Its root is *fida'* (ransom),

7:19 And *fida'* signifies safeguarding oneself from calamity through what one expends.

7:24 The address in the verse

7:26 Is either directed to the collective body of believers,

7:29 In as much as they cooperate among themselves

7:32 Whenever they discern discord between spouses;

7:35 Or it is an address directed to husbands

7:39 Who experience between themselves and their wives

7:42 That which causes them to fear

7:44 That neither spouse will maintain the boundaries established by Allah for marital life.

7:50 Thus the address serves to permit taking the ransom and redeeming oneself.

7:54 In my view, addressing the collective body of believers is more worthy of consideration,

8:00 For it is incumbent upon whoever becomes aware of marital discord

8:03 To intervene with counsel, guidance, and an explanation of Allah's ruling.

8:07 Hence the address was general to the collective body of believers

8:12 In His saying: 'And if you fear that they will not keep within the limits set by Allah,'

8:16 While the absolution from sin in taking the ransom was specific to the spouses."

8:20 “Divorce must be pronounced twice and then (a woman) must be retained in honour or released in kindness. And it is not lawful for you that ye take from women aught of that which ye have given them; except (in the case) when both fear that they may not be able to keep within the limits (imposed by) Allah. And if ye fear that they may not be able to keep the limits of Allah, in that case it is no sin for either of them if the woman ransom herself. These are the limits (imposed by) Allah. Transgress them not. For whoso transgresseth Allah's limits: such are wrong-doers.” (2:229)

8:25 Dr. 'Abd al-'Aziz al-Tarifi stated:

8:28 "The second mention of fear in the verse refers to the fear felt by parties other than the spouses.

8:33 'Authority' refers to the highest leadership in society,

8:39 Intervening to resolve the woman's plight when conflict arises with her husband,

8:44 Whether due to the husband's injustice toward her or her own recalcitrance (nushuz).

8:48 Even though a woman has her own family who can stand by her and aid her,

8:54 Allah, Mighty and Majestic is He, willed that society bear the burden of rectifying the situation,

9:00 Rather than standing idly by in the face of injustice against a woman or her recalcitrance.

9:05 If Allah commanded the wise members of society to intervene in resolving a private matter between spouses

9:13 In order to protect the family from breakdown,

9:16 Then protecting society from injustice against women or their corruption applies with all the greater reason.

9:22 But if the men in a society have lost all chivalry and protective honor for women,

9:28 Who then will rectify the state of society?

9:31 Who will defend a woman when she is wronged?

9:34 And who will guide a woman back to the truth if she strays?

9:39 We shall continue in a future gathering, if Allah wills.

9:44 And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

The suffering of women in the time of Moses, peace be upon him | Episode (13) | The suffering of women in an urban society

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