Our mother, Aisha | Episode (25) | Oh Aisha, this one

0:00 Our mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her: "This is for that."

0:17 Allah, the Almighty, commanded that wives be treated with kindness.

0:21 He, the Exalted, said: ﴿...and live with them in kindness...﴾

0:26 Al-Sa‘di, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

0:28 This encompasses kindness in both speech and action.

0:32 A husband must treat his wife with kindness,

0:37 which includes refraining from harm and showing benevolence,

0:39 as well as good conduct.

0:41 This also includes providing maintenance, clothing, and the like.

0:45 A husband is obligated to provide his wife with the kindness customary for someone of her status, in that time and place.

0:52 This varies according to circumstances.

0:55 The best person to have applied this verse in his life

0:59 was the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.

1:02 He even said of himself, peace be upon him:

1:05 "The best of you is the best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family."

1:10 Narrated by Ibn Majah.

1:12 Al-San‘ani, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

1:15 He was the best of people in an absolute sense.

1:18 This was not out of boasting,

1:20 but rather to inform the servants of Allah of the excellent companionship he maintained, so that they might emulate him.

1:25 It is well known from his Prophetic characteristics (Shama'il), peace be upon him,

1:29 that he was the best of people to all people,

1:33 and even more so to his own family.

1:35 He treated his family in a way no one else could,

1:39 with excellent companionship, patience in the face of annoyance, and fairness,

1:43 and other such qualities found in books detailing his virtues and his Prophetic biography (Seerah).

1:47 Al-Sindi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

1:50 His intent is that good companionship with one's family

1:53 is among the things required by the religion.

1:56 Thus, one who possesses this quality is among the best in this regard.

2:00 It is also possible that one who possesses this quality is granted success in all other righteous deeds,

2:04 until he becomes the best in an absolute sense.

2:07 And Allah knows best.

2:09 Among the beautiful stories of the Prophet, peace be upon him,

2:13 regarding his excellent companionship with his wives,

2:16 is his racing with ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, while traveling.

2:20 For ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:

2:24 "I raced the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

2:28 and I beat him.

2:30 But when I had gained some weight,

2:32 he raced me and beat me,

2:34 and said: 'O ‘A’ishah,

2:37 this is for that.'"

2:39 Narrated by Al-Humaydi.

2:42 This racing was not devoid of playfulness and joy;

2:46 rather, the Prophet, peace be upon him, would engage her

2:49 with humor and laughter, may Allah be pleased with her.

2:53 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:

2:56 "I went out with the Prophet, peace be upon him, on one of his journeys,

3:01 while I was still a young girl, having not yet gained weight or grown heavy.

3:05 He said to the people: 'Go on ahead,'

3:08 and they went ahead.

3:10 Then he said to me: 'Come, let me race you.'

3:14 I raced him and beat him,

3:16 and he said nothing to me.

3:18 Later, when I had gained weight, grown heavy, and forgotten the incident,

3:22 I went out with him on one of his journeys.

3:25 He said to the people: 'Go on ahead,'

3:27 and they went ahead.

3:29 Then he said: 'Come, let me race you.'

3:33 I raced him and he beat me,

3:35 and he began to laugh, saying:

3:38 'This is for that.'"

3:40 Narrated by Ahmad.

3:42 In a narration by Al-Tabarani,

3:44 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:

3:47 "I raced him and he beat me,

3:50 and he tapped me between my shoulders and said:

3:52 'This is for that.'"

3:54 Furthermore, the Prophet, peace be upon him,

3:57 actually urged her to race a second time,

4:01 because she had excused herself due to having gained weight.

4:05 But the Prophet, peace be upon him, insisted on the race.

4:09 ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, reported

4:13 that she was with the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, on a journey,

4:18 and he said to his Companions:

4:20 "Go on ahead,"

4:21 and they went ahead.

4:22 Then he said to me:

4:23 "Come, let me race you."

4:26 I raced him and beat him.

4:28 Then, some time later,

4:30 I went out with him on a journey,

4:32 and he said to his Companions:

4:34 "Go on ahead,"

4:35 and they went ahead.

4:37 Then he said:

4:38 "Come, let me race you."

4:40 I had forgotten what had happened before,

4:42 and I had gained weight.

4:44 So I said:

4:45 "How can I race you, O Messenger of Allah, while I am in this state?"

4:50 He said:

4:51 "You shall do it."

4:52 I raced him and he beat me,

4:55 and he said:

4:56 "This is for that race."

4:58 Narrated by Abu Nu‘aym.

5:00 Thus, peace be upon him, he would show affection to ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, through this racing.

5:07 Ibn Kathir, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

5:10 It was among the noble character of the Prophet, peace be upon him,

5:14 that he was pleasant in companionship and always cheerful.

5:17 He would joke with his family and treat them with gentleness,

5:20 and he was generous with them in his spending.

5:22 He would laugh with his wives,

5:24 to the point that he would race ‘A’ishah, the Mother of the Believers, may Allah be pleased with her,

5:29 showing her affection through that.

5:32 This was his Prophetic biography (Seerah), peace be upon him,

5:36 bearing witness to his excellent treatment of his family with kindness,

5:40 to the extent that he was the best of people to his family.

5:43 However, we have been afflicted with a type of thinking

5:47 that considers playing with one's wife to be contrary to chivalry,

5:51 and imagines masculinity to be a stern face toward one's wife,

5:55 while smiling only at one's friends.

5:58 Some people have even come to think that this is what Islam commands.

6:03 This approach has not succeeded in dealing with women in general,

6:07 and wives in particular,

6:09 because it contradicts the natural disposition (fitra) upon which Allah created people.

6:14 Consequently, the reaction from many women of this time,

6:18 who have been afflicted with this type of man,

6:22 has been to resent Islam and its followers,

6:25 describing it with every ugly term,

6:27 and praising Western culture,

6:29 considering it the model that should be followed

6:33 in valuing women and respecting their feelings.

6:36 Professor Muhammad Rashid Rida, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

6:40 Among the affection between spouses

6:44 is joking and playing.

6:47 Some men believe that amusing one's wife and joking with her

6:51 diminishes the awe she holds for him,

6:54 and her modesty before him.

6:56 They forget that abandoning this diminishes her comfort with him,

7:00 her tranquility in him, and her love for him.

7:03 Indeed, love is sufficient to replace the need for awe and excessive formality,

7:07 if it were true that joking and playing—

7:10 that amusement and playfulness—are incompatible with them.

7:14 But that is not true.

7:16 For the greatest of men in status, among the Prophets, the wise,

7:20 and the refined kings,

7:22 used to please their wives in their homes,

7:25 and that did not diminish their dignity or majesty in the slightest.

7:30 The Messenger, peace be upon him,

7:33 used to joke with his wives and play with them.

7:36 He said to Jabir, may Allah be pleased with him,

7:39 when he asked his permission to marry a previously married woman:

7:42 "Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she might play with you?"

7:45 The hadith is in the two Sahihs.

7:48 Likewise, the Prophet, peace be upon him, used to do this,

7:51 to the point that it is narrated he would race ‘A’ishah in running,

7:56 meaning intense sprinting.

7:58 He raced her and she won,

8:00 then he raced her and he won,

8:03 and he said: "This is for that."

8:06 It is found in Abu Dawud, Al-Nasa'i, and Ibn Majah,

8:09 and its chain of narration is authentic.

8:11 It is also related from ‘Umar that he used to say:

8:14 "A man should be like a child in his home."

8:17 And in [Ihya’ ‘Ulum al-Din],

8:19 it is said that ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, despite his sternness, said:

8:22 "It is fitting for a man to be like a child among his family,

8:26 but when they seek what he has, they find him a man."

8:30 Yet, there is a limit to playfulness in the home;

8:32 whoever exceeds it loses his respect,

8:35 and whoever falls short in it makes his companionship burdensome.

8:38 A wife finding her husband burdensome

8:41 is a path to calamity and a cause of misery.

8:44 So, are you among those who joke with their wives and play with them?

8:48 I hope so.

8:50 We shall continue in a future meeting, if Allah wills.

8:54 And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

9:00 Our mother ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.

Our mother, Aisha | Episode (25) | Oh Aisha, this one

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