Al-Shamail Al-Muhammadiya | Episode (23) | Chapter on what was mentioned in the words of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, regarding Samar

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0:00 In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
0:07 With pens of longing and the ink of love,
0:11 we compose lines more precious than gold
0:15 describing the Master of Creation, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him:
0:20 the Prophetic characteristics (Shama'il).
0:30 Chapter on what has been narrated concerning the nighttime conversation of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.
0:38 Al-Samar is conversation by night,
0:41 and the linguistic root of samar relates to the color of moonlight,
0:44 because they used to converse beneath it.
0:47 On the authority of 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, who said:
0:52 Eleven women sat together,
0:55 and made a mutual covenant and pledge
0:58 that they would conceal nothing of their husbands' news.
1:02 The first one said:
1:04 "My husband is like the meat of an emaciated camel,
1:06 placed upon the summit of a rugged mountain:
1:09 it is neither easily accessible that one might climb to it,
1:11 nor is it plump that it might be brought down."
1:14 The second one said:
1:16 "My husband—I will not spread his news abroad,
1:18 for I fear that I will leave nothing unsaid;
1:21 if I mention him, I must mention his prominent knots and hidden flaws."
1:25 The third one said:
1:27 "My husband is a towering lanky man;
1:29 if I speak, I am divorced,
1:31 and if I remain silent, I am left in suspense."
1:33 The fourth one said:
1:36 "My husband is like the night of Tihamah:
1:38 neither hot nor cold,
1:40 bringing neither fear nor weariness."
1:43 The fifth one said:
1:45 "My husband, when he enters, is a leopard;
1:48 when he goes out, he is a lion;
1:50 and he never asks about what he had left behind."
1:52 The sixth one said:
1:54 "My husband, when he eats, devours everything;
1:57 when he drinks, drains every drop;
1:59 when he lies down, curls up alone;
2:01 and he never extends his hand
2:03 to know my sorrow."
2:05 The seventh one said:
2:08 "My husband is completely impotent—
2:10 or utterly dense—
2:12 wholly inept;
2:14 every affliction in the world is found in him:
2:16 he would fracture your head or break your bone,
2:18 or do both to you together."
2:20 The eighth one said:
2:22 "My husband's touch is the touch of a hare,
2:25 and his scent is the fragrance of wild lavender."
2:28 The ninth one said:
2:31 "My husband has a lofty pillar,
2:33 a long sword-belt,
2:35 an abundance of hearth-ashes,
2:37 and his house is close to the gathering hall."
2:39 The tenth one said:
2:41 "My husband is Malik,
2:43 and what a man is Malik!
2:45 Malik is far better than that;
2:47 he possesses camels that have many resting grounds
2:51 but few grazing pastures;
2:53 whenever they hear the strumming of the lute,
2:56 they are certain they are destined to be slaughtered."
2:59 The eleventh one said:
3:01 "My husband is Abu Zar',
3:03 and what a man was Abu Zar'!
3:05 He made my ears swing with ornaments,
3:08 filled my upper arms with fat,
3:11 and made me feel so cherished
3:13 that I became delighted with myself;
3:15 he found me among owners of a few sheep in a desolate ravine,
3:18 and brought me among owners of neighing horses, groaning camels, threshers, and purifiers of grain;
3:24 in his presence, I speak and am never reproached;
3:27 I sleep late into the morning,
3:30 and drink until my thirst is fully quenched.
3:32 As for the mother of Abu Zar'—
3:35 what a woman was the mother of Abu Zar'!
3:38 Her provisions were vast and bountiful,
3:40 and her house was spacious.
3:42 As for the son of Abu Zar'—
3:44 what a youth was the son of Abu Zar'!
3:46 His bed was like a peeled palm branch,
3:49 and he could be sated by the foreleg of a four-month-old kid.
3:52 As for the daughter of Abu Zar'—
3:54 what a daughter was the daughter of Abu Zar'!
3:56 She was obedient to her father,
3:58 obedient to her mother,
4:00 filling out her dress gracefully,
4:02 and the envy of her fellow wives.
4:04 As for the maidservant of Abu Zar'—
4:06 what a maidservant was the maidservant of Abu Zar'!
4:09 She did not spread our conversations abroad,
4:12 she did not squander our provisions,
4:16 nor did she leave our house cluttered with refuse."
4:19 She said:
4:22 "Abu Zar' went forth when the milk-skins were being churned,
4:25 and he met a woman who had two sons like leopards,
4:30 playing beneath her waist with two pomegranates;
4:34 so he divorced me and married her.
4:37 After him, I married a noble chieftain:
4:40 he rode a swift steed,
4:42 held a Khatti spear,
4:44 brought back to me an abundance of grazing livestock,
4:47 and gave me a pair of every type of animal,
4:51 saying:
4:52 'Eat, Umm Zar', and provide for your family.'
4:56 Yet, if I were to gather everything he gave me,
4:59 it would not fill the smallest vessel of Abu Zar'."
5:03 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
5:06 "Then the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said to me:
5:10 'I am to you as Abu Zar' was to Umm Zar'.'"
5:17 This hadith is among the narrations concerning the Prophet's nighttime conversation, peace be upon him,
5:22 with some of his wives,
5:24 showing warm companionship and kindness.
5:26 This is an example of good companionship, cheerful disposition,
5:29 and frustrating the designs of Satan.
5:31 For pleasant conversation, humorous anecdotes, and entertaining tales
5:34 are things through which souls find relaxation,
5:37 hearts are comforted,
5:39 and mutual affection is fostered;
5:42 and all of this is among the objectives of the sacred law.
5:45 This lengthy account, narrated by 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, to the Prophet, peace be upon him,
5:53 regarding those women and the report each gave of her husband,
5:58 while the Prophet, peace be upon him, listened attentively out of gracious companionship and kindness,
6:05 mentions that eleven women assembled in a single gathering
6:10 and pledged to conceal nothing about their husbands,
6:15 whether by way of praise or blame.
6:19 Some of them mentioned their husbands with praise,
6:22 while others spoke of them with reproach.
6:25 The first woman said, describing her husband:
6:28 "My husband is like the meat of an emaciated camel"—
6:31 meaning that he is like camel meat that is extremely lean and worthless—
6:35 "placed upon the summit of a mountain."
6:37 And this mountain is not smooth or easy to climb,
6:40 because it is filled with rugged rocks;
6:43 nor is the meat fat and desirable so that it would be carried down—
6:46 that is, worth enduring hardship to retrieve.
6:49 She is completely dissatisfied,
6:51 seeing him as unworthy of any exertion to reach;
6:54 she is thoroughly displeased with her husband
6:57 due to his ill character and harsh disposition.
7:00 She likens him to camel meat
7:03 that the soul naturally finds unappetizing,
7:05 and she likens his poor temperament to a rugged mountain:
7:09 would that he were at least accessible despite his worthlessness!
7:14 Rather, he is atop a mountain whose ascent is treacherous,
7:17 and at the same time,
7:19 he is not worth enduring hardships
7:23 in order to attain him.
7:25 The second woman said:
7:29 "My husband—I will not spread his news abroad"—
7:31 meaning: I will not disclose or broadcast his traits and affairs;
7:35 "for I fear that I will leave nothing unsaid"—
7:38 meaning: I fear that if I begin describing him,
7:42 I will be unable to stop until I have laid bare every single thing,
7:45 because of how extensive and numerous they are,
7:47 referring to the abundance of his defects and vices;
7:50 thus I could never finish detailing them:
7:53 "if I mention him, I must mention his prominent knots and hidden flaws."
7:57 The original meaning of 'ajar refers to the swelling of veins in the neck,
8:01 while bajar refers to the protrusion of the navel;
8:04 so it is as if she said he possesses both visible and hidden faults:
8:09 she used 'ajar as a metaphor for the apparent defects,
8:12 which are like bulging veins,
8:15 while he also has hidden faults known only to a wife,
8:19 which she symbolized by bajar,
8:21 representing a protruding navel.
8:24 The third woman said:
8:28 "My husband is a towering lanky man"—
8:30 he is excessively tall,
8:32 and the intended meaning
8:33 is that he has nothing going for him except sheer height devoid of benefit;
8:37 "if I speak, I am divorced,
8:39 and if I remain silent, I am left in suspense"—
8:41 meaning that if she speaks out and he hears of it,
8:46 he will divorce her,
8:48 but if she stays silent about his defects,
8:50 she remains with him like a woman left in limbo:
8:53 neither enjoying the rights of a wife nor granted the freedom of a divorcee.
8:56 The fourth woman said:
9:01 "My husband is like the night of Tihamah"—
9:03 meaning that there is no harm in him,
9:06 but rather comfort and pleasant living, just like a night in Tihamah:
9:10 delightful and temperate,
9:12 having neither excessive heat nor biting cold;
9:16 and Tihamah
9:17 is the coastal plain along the Red Sea on the Arabian peninsula;
9:22 "bringing neither fear nor weariness"—
9:25 meaning: I do not fear him due to his noble character,
9:28 nor does he tire of me or find me burdensome so as to weary of my company;
9:33 nor is he ill-mannered
9:35 such that I would grow weary of living with him.
9:37 The fifth woman said:
9:41 "My husband, when he enters, is a leopard;
9:43 when he goes out, he is a lion"—
9:45 meaning that whenever he enters the house,
9:48 he is like a leopard in sleeping often,
9:51 intending that he sleeps soundly
9:53 and he overlooks domestic shortcomings that I am bound to rectify,
9:57 or he turns a blind eye to monitoring what has gone from his goods and wealth in his home and what remains,
10:03 never holding her to account for little or much.
10:07 And whenever he is outside the home,
10:09 he is like a lion in his courage, strength, and fierce resolve.
10:14 She means that he is gentle with her,
10:17 while being brave, formidable, and fierce outside the home.
10:22 "And he never asks about what he entrusted"—
10:24 meaning he does not question her about the wealth and provisions he left at home, out of his absolute generosity.
10:31 And the sixth woman said:
10:35 "My husband, when he eats, devours everything indiscriminately"—
10:37 meaning that he eats gluttonously,
10:40 leaving nothing of the food behind.
10:43 For 'devouring indiscriminately' regarding food
10:45 means eating excessively while mixing all kinds of dishes together
10:48 until nothing of them remains.
10:51 "And when he drinks, he drains it to the last drop"—
10:53 meaning he is one who leaves nothing in the vessel.
10:56 The term *ishtifāf* (draining completely) is derived from *shufāfah*,
11:00 which refers to whatever dregs remain in the vessel of a drink.
11:03 "And when he sleeps, he wraps himself up alone"—
11:05 meaning he rolls himself up in his garments alone in a corner of the house, withdrawing completely from her,
11:11 leaving her dejected because of that.
11:14 "And he does not insert his palm to feel my grief"—
11:17 meaning he does not slip his hand beneath my garment
11:20 to sense the sorrow that I feel,
11:23 and that is due to his total lack of care and closeness to her;
11:26 for he neither touches her, nor treats her gently, nor converses with her at night,
11:31 nor does he fulfill her marital desire,
11:33 nor can she confide her anguish and grief to him.
11:36 Thus, in her censure of him, she combined meanness and miserliness,
11:40 poor companionship toward his family,
11:43 and a lack of desire for intimacy,
11:46 alongside immense gluttony for food and drink;
11:49 and this was the ultimate form of disparagement among the Arabs.
11:52 And the seventh woman said:
11:56 "My husband is *ghayāyā'*"—
11:59 meaning he is obscured by deep ignorance,
12:02 derived from *al-ghayy*, which signifies ruin and frustration;
12:05 or she said *'ayāyā'*,
12:08 derived from *al-'iyy*, which means impotence and utter incapacity.
12:11 It is also said that it means an impotent man
12:13 who is unable to engage in sexual intercourse with women
12:16 and is utterly incapable of it;
12:19 or it means the foolish, dim-witted one;
12:21 and it is said to mean the one who is incapable of speaking,
12:24 such that his lips remain locked together.
12:27 "Every ailment belongs to him"—
12:29 meaning every ailment dispersed throughout mankind,
12:32 that is, every shortcoming,
12:34 has gathered in him.
12:36 "He would fracture your skull, or break your bones,
12:38 or inflict both upon you"—
12:40 meaning that if she were to joke with him,
12:43 he would fracture her head;
12:45 and if she angered him,
12:47 he would break one of her limbs,
12:49 or lacerate her skin,
12:51 or combine all of that:
12:53 beating, wounding,
12:55 fracturing a bone, and hurtful speech.
12:58 And the eighth woman said:
13:02 "My husband's touch is as soft as the touch of a hare,
13:05 and his scent is as fragrant as the scent of *zarnab*."
13:07 She described him as having smooth skin,
13:10 like the softness of a hare's fur.
13:12 It is also said that her words "the touch of a hare"
13:16 signify a gentle demeanor and noble character,
13:19 and that he possesses a pleasant sweat
13:21 due to his cleanliness and use of perfume.
13:24 And *zarnab* is a type of perfume,
13:26 or a sweet-smelling plant.
13:30 And the ninth woman said:
13:32 "My husband has a tall tent-pole"—
13:35 which is the central pole used to support the tent,
13:38 meaning that the abode he dwells in
13:41 has high pillars,
13:43 so that guests and those in need can easily see it.
13:46 It is also said that she intended by "a tall tent-pole"
13:49 to describe his nobility and exalted renown;
13:53 that is, his household has prestigious lineage.
13:56 "Long is his sword-belt"—meaning he is tall in stature;
14:00 "vast is his ash-heap"—
14:02 because his fire is never extinguished,
14:04 so that guests may be guided by it,
14:06 and thus its ashes become abundant;
14:09 and this indicates his boundless generosity.
14:11 "His house is close to the assembly hall"—
14:14 and *al-nādī* is the gathering place of the people,
14:17 meaning that whenever his people consult one another on a matter,
14:20 they rely upon his counsel.
14:22 And it is said:
14:23 she described him as possessing generosity and leadership,
14:26 for no one resides close to the assembly hall
14:29 except someone who possesses such qualities,
14:31 because guests head straight for the assembly hall,
14:34 and because those sitting in the assembly
14:36 obtain whatever provisions they need
14:38 for their gathering from a house nearby,
14:42 whereas the ignoble stay far away from the assembly.
14:47 And the tenth woman said:
14:49 "My husband is Mālik,
14:51 and what a man is Mālik!
14:53 Mālik is far better than that!"
14:55 And this is an exaltation of her husband;
14:58 his name was Mālik,
15:00 and he is far greater than any praise she could describe him with.
15:04 "He possesses camels that often kneel around the camp,
15:07 meaning he owns camels that mostly stay in their resting places,
15:10 which is the place where they kneel,
15:12 "and seldom go out to pasture"—
15:15 meaning he does not send many of them out to graze,
15:19 because he is always prepared for guests,
15:21 so that he can slaughter from them for them whenever they arrive,
15:25 and this proves his generosity.
15:28 "Whenever they hear the sound of the lute,
15:30 they are certain that they are doomed"—
15:33 meaning whenever the camels hear the sound of the lute,
15:36 played out of his joy at the arrival of guests,
15:39 the camels know that they are destined for slaughter,
15:42 and will be butchered to feed them.
15:44 And the *mizhar*
15:45 is an instrument of music and entertainment;
15:49 she meant that her husband had accustomed his camels that whenever guests arrived,
15:54 he would welcome them with musical instruments
15:56 and slaughter from those camels for them.
15:59 And the eleventh woman said—
16:03 and she is Umm Zar'
16:05 'Ātikah bint Ukaymil ibn Sā'idah al-Yamāniyyah:
16:09 "My husband is Abū Zar',
16:11 meaning his kunyah was Abū Zar',
16:13 "and what a man is Abū Zar'!
16:15 She intended by this to glorify him.
16:18 "He adorned my ears with swinging ornaments"—
16:21 meaning he filled my ears with jewelry,
16:24 "and filled the fat of my upper arms"—
16:27 and the upper arm (*'adud*) is what lies between the elbow and the shoulder,
16:31 and the meaning is: he fattened me and filled my body with fat and flesh through abundant food;
16:37 she did not mean the upper arms exclusively,
16:39 but rather, when they grow plump, the rest of the body grows plump as well.
16:43 And she said:
16:45 "He brought me delight, and so I felt delighted with myself"—
16:48 meaning he honored me in my own eyes,
16:50 so I became noble in my own estimation.
16:52 "He found me among people of a few sheep in Shiqq"—
16:55 meaning that her family were mere owners of sheep,
16:58 possessing neither camels nor horses,
17:01 so they were not wealthy,
17:03 for the Arabs did not hold owners of sheep in high regard,
17:06 but rather regarded owners of horses and camels;
17:10 and they lived in a place named Shiqq,
17:14 or the intended meaning is a narrow mountain ravine,
17:16 due to their small numbers and the meager size of their flock,
17:19 for *shiqq al-jabal* means the side of a mountain;
17:22 and it is also said to mean: he found me in hardship, severe distress, and strain of life.
17:28 She said:
17:29 "Then he placed me among owners of neighing horses and murmuring camels"—
17:33 *ṣahīl* is the neighing of horses,
17:35 and *aṭīṭ* is the sound of camels,
17:38 and the meaning is: he placed her among the owners of horses and camels,
17:43 and her words:
17:44 "and threshers and grain-purifiers"—
17:46 meaning threshing the crop so that the grain emerges from the ears,
17:50 and purifying the food,
17:52 by removing the chaff and the like that is mixed with it;
17:56 and the meaning is
17:57 that he transferred her from the hardship and toil of life
18:00 to vast wealth consisting of horses, camels, and fertile crops.
18:05 And her words:
18:06 "So in his presence, I speak and am never rebuked"—
18:09 meaning my words are never deemed ugly, nor are they rejected;
18:12 "and I sleep into the morning"—
18:15 meaning I sleep until late morning,
18:17 because she had servants who carried out the household chores for her;
18:23 "and I drink until I leave off drinking"—
18:25 meaning I drink until I abandon the drink out of total quench,
18:29 with nothing interrupting my drink.
18:31 Then the woman praised the mother of her husband, Abū Zar',
18:37 saying:
18:38 "The mother of Abū Zar',
18:39 and what a woman is the mother of Abū Zar'!
18:41 Her storage bags are enormous"—
18:43 *'ukūm* are the large containers in which provisions and goods are gathered,
18:48 and *radāḥ* means vast and full,
18:50 "and her house is spacious"—
18:53 meaning her home is vast and large.
18:56 Then she praised the son of Abū Zar',
18:59 saying:
19:00 "His sleeping place is like a stripped palm branch"—
19:03 meaning his bed is slender like a peeled palm frond,
19:07 intending that his physique resembles a drawn sword in its slender elegance and light frame;
19:12 and she says:
19:13 "and the arm of a four-month-old kid satisfies his hunger"—
19:16 and *al-jafrah* is a young female goat that has reached four months of age,
19:21 and her intended meaning
19:22 is that he eats very little,
19:24 and the Arabs praise this quality.
19:27 Then the woman praised the daughter of Abū Zar',
19:31 She said:
19:32 "Obedient to her father and obedient to her mother,"
19:36 meaning she is dutiful to both her parents,
19:39 never disobeying their command;
19:41 "and filling her garment,"
19:43 meaning she fills out her dress due to her plumpness;
19:46 "and the envy of her female neighbor,"
19:48 meaning she arouses the jealousy of her co-wife
19:50 because of her beauty, good manners, and chastity.
19:54 Then she praised the maidservant of Abu Zar',
19:58 saying:
19:59 "She does not spread our secrets abroad,"
20:03 meaning she does not broadcast or disclose their private talk and secrets;
20:07 "nor does she squander our provisions,"
20:10 meaning she does not ruin their food,
20:12 nor does she scatter it or carry it off—
20:15 the intent being to describe her trustworthiness;
20:18 "nor does she leave our house full of nests,"
20:21 meaning she does not leave rubbish scattered about the house like birds' nests,
20:26 but rather keeps the house in order,
20:29 taking meticulous care of its cleanliness.
20:33 Then Umm Zar' mentioned the change that occurred in her life with Abu Zar'
20:38 when he saw another woman,
20:41 married her, and divorced Umm Zar'.
20:44 She said:
20:45 "Abu Zar' went out when the milk-skins were being churned"—
20:49 and the *awtāb* are milk vessels
20:52 that are shaken to extract butter,
20:54 by which she meant that the time he went out
20:57 was during a season of plenty and the finest of spring.
21:00 She said:
21:02 "He met a woman who had two sons like two cheetahs with her."
21:06 The reason she described the fine quality of her two sons
21:09 was to point out why Abu Zar' chose to marry her,
21:13 for the Arabs were eager for their children to come
21:16 from noble women of excellent physical and moral constitution.
21:20 And her saying:
21:22 "Playing beneath her waist with two pomegranates,"
21:25 meaning they were moving about below her waist
21:28 and playing with the woman's small breasts,
21:31 which resembled two pomegranates in their beauty.
21:35 She said:
21:36 "So he divorced me and married her."
21:39 Then she says:
21:40 "After him, I married a noble man,"
21:43 meaning: after Abu Zar', I married a man of high status,
21:47 "who rode a spirited steed,"
21:49 meaning he pressed forward in his journey tirelessly and without pause,
21:54 "and took up a Khatti spear,"
21:56 the *khattī* being a spear
21:58 attributed to a place in Yemen
22:01 from which such spears are brought;
22:03 "and he brought me abundant livestock,"
22:06 meaning he brought her a great many camels,
22:10 for *al-thariyy* means an abundance of wealth and the like,
22:13 and from it comes *tharwah*, meaning great wealth;
22:17 and her saying:
22:18 "and gave me a pair of every kind of grazing beast that returned at evening,"
22:22 meaning he would give her, from everything
22:25 that returned at dusk—camels, cattle, sheep, and servants—a pair,
22:29 meaning two of each,
22:31 or it is possible she meant by a "pair"
22:34 a category or variety.
22:36 "And he said:
22:37 'Eat, Umm Zar', and provide for your family,'"
22:40 meaning: maintain ties with your kin, treat them well, and be generous to them with food.
22:45 She said:
22:47 "Yet, if I were to gather everything he gave me,
22:50 it would not fill the smallest vessel of Abu Zar'!"
22:53 meaning: all the honors he bestowed upon me
22:56 do not equal anything of the generous treatment of Abu Zar'.
22:59 For she described this second husband of hers
23:02 as possessing intrinsic nobility, wealth, courage,
23:06 virtue, and generosity,
23:08 since he permitted her to consume whatever she wished of his wealth
23:12 and gift whatever she wished to her family, out of utmost honor for her;
23:17 yet despite that, he never held the place of Abu Zar' in her heart,
23:21 and his abundance was lesser than the little of Abu Zar',
23:25 notwithstanding Abu Zar's ultimate mistreatment of her in divorcing her.
23:29 Yet her love for him made all other husbands distasteful to her,
23:33 and as it is said:
23:35 "Love belongs only to the first beloved."
23:38 And after the Mother of the Believers, 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), narrated
23:44 this story to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him),
23:47 he said to her:
23:49 "I am to you as Abu Zar' was to Umm Zar'."
23:52 And it was added in one narration:
23:54 "Except that I will not divorce you,"
23:57 meaning: my conduct with you in generosity and love
24:01 is just as Abu Zar's conduct was toward Umm Zar'.
24:05 This was from his humility (peace be upon him)
24:08 and the excellence of his character;
24:10 otherwise, he (peace be upon him)
24:13 is not to be compared to anyone else;
24:15 rather, he and his praiseworthy traits and character are the ones to be emulated.
24:20 Derived from this hadith is:
24:22 the permissibility of mentioning the virtues of women to men
24:26 when they are unnamed and unknown,
24:28 as opposed to specific, known women.
24:30 In it is also the permissibility of a man informing
24:33 his wife of his love for her.
24:35 In it also is the virtue of 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her),
24:38 and the vastness of her retention and memory
24:41 despite her young age;
24:43 and the Prophet's (peace be upon him) attentive listening to her
24:47 to console and delight her heart.
24:49 This hadith
24:51 contains numerous points of benefit
24:53 that would take too long to mention here,
24:55 and perhaps we will dedicate a separate series to it, by Allah's leave.
25:00 More of this hadith remains to be discussed, if Allah wills.
25:04 And Allah knows best.
25:06 May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad,
25:09 and upon his family and all his Companions.