Part of The Hadith of Umm Zar' (series completed)
· Lesson 1 of 25
Types of men in the hadith of Umm Zara’ | Episode (1) | Types of men with their wives
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Transcript
Machine translation — may contain errors
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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
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The Types of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar'
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The Types of Men in Relation to Their Wives
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All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds,
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and may peace and blessings be upon the noblest of prophets and messengers,
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our Prophet Muhammad,
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and upon his family and all his Companions.
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To proceed:
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This is a new series,
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somewhat different from the series produced in past years.
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It does not recount the story of a specific woman mentioned in the Noble Qur'an,
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nor is its primary subject simply women.
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Rather, it addresses the different types of men in their treatment of their wives.
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This classification of men
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was articulated by a group of women
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who spoke about their husbands with utter candor and clarity,
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in exceptionally eloquent Arabic.
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The one who conveyed this beneficial account to us
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is our mother 'A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,
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in the lengthy hadith of Umm Zar',
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which she narrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
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He listened to her attentively and with keen interest,
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then commented on her words with profound remarks
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full of lessons for those who reflect.
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"The Types of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar'"
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is the theme of this Ramadan series.
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The objective of presenting this topic
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is to recognize the qualities a woman loves in her husband
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and the traits she dislikes in him,
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as well as to understand how women handled these traits.
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Indeed, the hadith of Umm Zar',
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while focusing on detailing the types of men,
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also reveals the extent of a woman’s suffering with her husband,
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and what lies concealed within her heart
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that is otherwise difficult to disclose to anyone.
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Thus, this hadith is of immense importance for a man,
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enabling him to understand how a woman thinks,
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how she views the man in her life,
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and her most vital emotional and physical needs.
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This magnificent hadith also highlights
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some of woman's innate dispositions,
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as well as both commendable and blameworthy traits.
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This means that woman is strongly present within the meanings of the hadith
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and throughout the details of this series.
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We can truly say
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that this series
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is women speaking about men
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and elucidating their various types.
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A man needs to examine himself
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and identify which category he belongs to,
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so that he may rectify his shortcomings if he is at fault,
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capitalize on the good qualities he possesses,
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nurture them, and find happiness through them.
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Likewise, a woman
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needs to understand her husband's nature
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and which type of man he is,
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in order to interact with him effectively,
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guide him toward the good within him,
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and steer him away from blameworthy male traits.
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This is truly a magnificent hadith,
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about which al-Hafiz Ibn al-Mulaqqin (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"This hadith is grand and comprehensive,
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teeming with benefits.
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Dedicated treatises have been authored on it;
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treatises were devoted to it by Abu al-Qasim Ibn Hibban,
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al-Qadi, and Ibn Qutaybah."
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Scholars dedicated independent works to it exclusively
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because of its abundant benefits
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and precise details that are rarely found
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gathered together anywhere else.
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It is therefore incumbent upon all of us,
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both men and women,
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to pay close attention to this hadith—studying it, teaching it,
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and even memorizing it whenever possible.
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Abu al-Qasim al-Qazwini (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"My father (may Allah have mercy on him)
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used to encourage me to memorize this hadith in my youth
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due to its numerous benefits and eloquent wording."
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This encouragement from his father
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led him to author a commentary on this hadith,
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the hadith of Umm Zar'.
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Some people may find it challenging to comprehend certain words found
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in the hadith upon first encounter,
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and that is hardly surprising;
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for these words were uttered by women
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who were pure, native Arabs
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whose tongues were never mixed with foreign influence,
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and who engaged in nothing other than the pristine Arabic tongue.
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This stands in contrast to our present age,
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in which tongues have grown weak in speaking classical Arabic,
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foreign influences have encroached upon us from all directions,
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and foreign languages have become predominant
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across the Muslim lands.
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As for this hadith,
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it has reached us in remarkably beautiful Arabic phrasing.
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad al-Yahsubi
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(may Allah have mercy on him) said of it:
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"In sum, the speech of these women
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belongs to the most eloquent expressions,
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the soundest meanings,
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and the most masterfully articulated rhetoric.
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It is ingenious in its metonymy and allusion,
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and sublime in its similes and metaphors.
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Some of them were more eloquent in utterance,
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superior in mastery,
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more expansive in elaboration,
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and more firmly grounded in rhetorical principle.
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The speech of some possessed greater elegance and splendor,
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refined delicacy, and sweeter flow;
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while others were more direct in eloquence,
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clearer in exposition,
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and more subtle in concise argumentation.
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If you contemplate the speech of Umm Zar',
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you find that, despite its many sections and lack of superfluity,
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it consists of carefully chosen words and distinctly clear features,
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sharply delineated.
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Its words are precisely measured to match its meanings,
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its foundations are firmly established,
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and its structures are loftily erected.
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Every part of it occupies an esteemed place in rhetoric,
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and within it are deposited literary marvels.
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And if you examine the words of the ninth woman—
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the one who described the high pillar, long sword-belt, and abundant ashes—
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you will find that she encompasses diverse avenues of eloquence,
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elevates the craft of rhetoric,
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and strikes deeply with concise, purposeful expression."
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Now, turning to the text of the hadith:
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On the authority of 'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said:
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"Eleven women sat together
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and covenanted and pledged
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not to conceal anything regarding their husbands.
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The first woman said:
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'My husband is like the meat of a scrawny camel
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atop a rugged mountain peak:
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neither easy to ascend
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nor plump enough to be worth retrieving.'
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The second woman said:
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'I shall not broadcast my husband's news,
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for I fear I would never finish with it;
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if I were to mention him, I would recount his visible and hidden faults.'
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The third woman said:
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'My husband is a tall tyrant:
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if I speak, I am divorced;
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and if I remain silent, I am left suspended.'
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The fourth woman said:
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'My husband is like the night of Tihamah:
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neither hot nor cold,
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inspiring neither fear nor weariness.'
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The fifth woman said:
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'My husband, when he enters, is like a leopard;
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when he goes out, he is like a lion;
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and he does not inquire about what he had left behind.'
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The sixth woman said:
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'My husband, when he eats, devours everything;
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when he drinks, leaves nothing behind;
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and when he lies down, wraps himself up entirely,
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never extending his hand
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to feel my sorrow.'
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The seventh woman said:
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'My husband is utterly inept
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and senseless,
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a heavy burden;
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every ailment in others is combined in him:
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he would fracture your head, or break your bone,
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or inflict both upon you.'
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The eighth woman said:
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'My husband's touch
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is as soft as the touch of a rabbit,
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and his scent is the fragrance of sweet aromatic herbs.'
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The ninth woman said:
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'My husband is of a lofty tent-pillar,
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with a long sword-belt,
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of abundant hearth-ashes,
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and his home is close to the gathering hall.'
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The tenth woman said:
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'My husband is Malik,
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and what a man Malik is!
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Malik is far better than any praise I could offer.
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He possesses many camels that stay resting in their pens
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and rarely go out to pasture;
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rarely go out to pasture,
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rarely go out to pasture.
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Whenever they hear the strumming of the lute,
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they are certain they are about to be slaughtered for guests;
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they are certain they are about to be slaughtered.'
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The eleventh woman said:
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'My husband is Abu Zar',
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and what a man Abu Zar' is!
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He loaded my ears with swinging jewelry
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and filled my upper arms with plumpness;
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and filled my upper arms with plumpness.
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He gladdened and dignified me,
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so I felt dignified and pleased with myself.
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He found me among people of modest sheep on a rugged hill,
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and brought me to owners of neighing horses,
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groaning camels, grain-threshers, and winnowers.
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In his presence, I speak
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and am never reviled;
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I would sleep late into the morning,
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and drink until my thirst was thoroughly quenched.
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And the mother of Abu Zar'—
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what a woman she was!
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Her storage bags were always overflowing,
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and her house was spacious.
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The son of Abu Zar'—
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what a fine youth he was!
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His sleeping place was like an unsheathed, slender sword,
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as lean as a stripped palm stalk,
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and the leg of a young goat fully satisfied his appetite.
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The daughter of Abu Zar'—
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what an exceptional daughter she was!
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Devotedly obedient to her father,
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obedient to her mother,
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filling her garment gracefully with her plump form,
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and the envy of her rival.
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The maidservant of Abu Zar'—
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what a loyal servant she was!
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She never divulged our private conversations
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to anyone,
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nor did she squander our provisions
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or leave them wasted,
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nor did she leave our home
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in clutter and disarray—
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cluttered with rubbish.
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She continued:
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Once, Abu Zar' went out
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while the milk-skins were being churned,
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and he came across a woman who had with her
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two boys agile as young leopards,
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playfully sporting under her waist
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with two pomegranates.
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So he divorced me and married her.
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After him, I married
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a noble and wealthy man.
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He rode a spirited, swift steed,
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held a fine spear in his hand,
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and brought home for me an abundance of livestock.
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He was a master rider,
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and he bestowed upon me a pair of every kind of cattle
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that returned at evening,
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saying:
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'Eat generously, Umm Zar',
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and provide for your own family.'
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Yet, even if I gathered everything
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he had ever given me,
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it would not fill the smallest vessel
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belonging to Abu Zar'."
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'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
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The Messenger of Allah
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(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) then said to me:
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"I am to you just as Abu Zar' was to Umm Zar'."
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It was narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
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Al-Tabarani added
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in another narration of his:
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"O 'A'ishah,
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I am to you as Abu Zar' was
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to Umm Zar',
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except that Abu Zar'
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divorced his wife, and I will never divorce you."
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It was authenticated
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by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami'.
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We will continue in our next
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gathering, if Allah wills.
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And all praise is due to Allah,
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Lord of all the worlds.