Part of The Hadith of Umm Zar' (series completed)
· Lesson 15 of 25
Types of men in the hadith of Umm Zara’ | Episode (15) | My husband is a high-ranking man
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Transcript
Machine translation — may contain errors
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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
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Categories of Husbands in the Hadith of Umm Zar'.
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"My husband is of lofty stature (possessor of a tall tent pole)."
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While the eighth woman praised her husband concisely with eloquent words,
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the ninth woman gave a detailed praise of her husband, likewise in eloquent words.
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She said: "My husband is of lofty stature, has a long sword-belt, possesses abundant ashes, and his house is close to the meeting place."
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Thus, she described him with four noble characteristics desirable in a man.
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The first is that he is of noble lineage, which she expressed by saying: "of lofty stature."
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "She describes him as possessing nobility and exalted renown."
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The flash of lightning (*sana*) and the radiance of plants are spelled with a shortened alif, while exalted renown (*al-sana'*) denoting honor is spelled with an extended alif.
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The root meaning of *'imad* is the central pillar of a tent, its plural being *'amad*, which are the wooden poles by which tents are supported.
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This is a metaphor meaning that his standing and household are exalted among his people.
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "Her saying 'of lofty stature' described him as possessing nobility in lineage and leadership among his people.
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She borrowed the visible height of a dwelling's pillars as a metaphor for the intangible nobility of his ancestral standing."
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It was the custom of the Arabs to boast of their noble lineages,
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so a woman would take pride before other women around her that her husband comes from a high lineage.
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The benefit of a noble lineage is that it restrains a person from trivial matters and base conduct;
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one of noble lineage rises above the actions of the ignorant and the foolish,
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and society expects nothing from him except the finest characteristics.
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For if he were to fall short, people would criticize him, and he would become a subject of reproach among all.
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This is what prevented Abu Sufyan from lying about the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
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On the authority of 'Abdullah ibn 'Abbas, Abu Sufyan ibn Harb informed him
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that Heraclius sent for him while he was in a caravan of Quraysh who were trading in the Levant,
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during the period in which the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)
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had concluded a truce with Abu Sufyan and the disbelievers of Quraysh.
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They came to him while they were in Ilya' (Jerusalem), and he summoned them into his court,
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surrounded by the Roman dignitaries; then he called for them and summoned his interpreter.
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He said, "Which of you is closest in lineage to this man who claims to be a prophet?"
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Abu Sufyan said, "I replied: 'I am the closest to him in lineage.'"
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He said, "Bring him close to me, and bring his companions close and place them behind his back."
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Then he said to his interpreter, "Tell them that I am going to question him about this man,
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and if he lies to me, they must contradict him. By Allah, had I not been ashamed that they would transmit lies about me, I would have lied about him."
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Narrated by al-Bukhari. People of noble lineage are eager to preserve an untarnished reputation among people,
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so they rise above shameful deeds. There is yet another meaning in her describing his elevated standing among his people:
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him) said regarding it: "She might also mean by *'imad* the physical house,
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and its elevation would mean that it overlooks a high place so that guests can easily spot and seek it out."
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This is a sign of hospitality, for she is stating that his home is prominent to people and not hidden away among the dwellings,
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allowing guests to reach it with ease.
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The second quality is a handsome, tall stature, which she expressed by saying: "has a long sword-belt."
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "She describes him as being tall of stature.
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The *nijad* is the baldric or strap of the sword, which needs to be proportionate to his height."
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This is among the qualities for which poets used to praise men; the poet said:
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"His sword-belts fell short upon him and drew up, though the blacksmith had taken care to lengthen them."
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "She described him as being complete in form and tall in physical build.
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She alluded to this by saying 'has a long sword-belt,' for a tall man requires his sword-belt to be lengthened."
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She thus praises her husband for an attribute denoting physical attractiveness in her eyes, something women naturally desire;
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for it is in a woman's nature not to want her husband to be shorter than her,
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because walking beside him, she might feel as though he were one of her children, or onlookers might perceive him as such.
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Such a feeling bothers her and deprives her of a sense of strength and security with him due to his short stature.
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A woman may find herself in great perplexity if a suitor with fine qualities proposes to her, yet he is short;
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she might even turn him down despite his noble qualities because of his height, for moderate tallness is a sign of strength.
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She also hints at his strength through his sword-belts being long to match his frame, making it effortless for him to draw and wield his sword when needed.
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The third quality is generosity and hospitality, which she expressed by saying: "possesses abundant ashes."
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "She describes him as generous, offering abundant hospitality with camel meat and other kinds of meat.
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Whenever he does so, his cooking fire grows large and its fuel multiplies, resulting in a proportionate abundance of ashes."
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "She then described him as innately generous, open-handed with his wealth.
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She hinted at this by saying 'possesses abundant ashes,' for whoever hosts many guests, slaughtering for them,
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roasting, and cooking their meals, will have an immense fire and consequently vast heaps of ashes."
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This, then, is a generous husband, and whoever honors his guests honors his family. In praising him for being generous and hosting numerous guests,
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she indicates through these words her own love for having many guests and her lack of resentment toward them.
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For there must be service she herself provides, prepares, and contributes to those numerous guests.
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None accepts this willingly except a woman of noble character who loves guests, never tires of serving them, and does not hinder her husband from welcoming them.
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The fourth quality is his accessibility to people, which she expressed by saying: "his house is close to the meeting place."
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "She means that he settles in the midst of people so they know his place,
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so that guests can lodge with him, and he does not distance himself or hide away to evade tribulations or visiting guests."
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "She means that he settles among the people, in the gathering place of the tribe, where travelers and hospitality-seekers head, so that his guests multiply.
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He does not hide away at the fringes of settlements and the depths of valleys, turning away from the path of travelers to flee from seekers and evade night-callers,
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lest they find his place, or find his dwelling too distant and thus turn away from him."
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This is a magnificent trait indicating a love for hospitality, serving people, aiding the distressed, and supporting the oppressed;
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for when a man is close to the people, having opened the doors of his council to them, it becomes easy for people to reach him.
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Thus, anyone in need who is unable to fulfill a matter comes to him, seeking his assistance with it.
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People only turn to someone who opens his heart to them, listening to them, comforting their hearts, and fulfilling whatever needs he can.
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A man possessing such praiseworthy traits would naturally exert the finest influence upon his household.
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A woman is truly fortunate with such a husband and such a blessing, and she ought to thank Allah for what He has bestowed upon her
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and be an aid to her husband in doing good.
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Where do you stand, noble brother, regarding these beautiful characteristics, and is your heart broad enough to welcome people and listen to what weighs upon their chests?
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I ask Allah to grant us success in adorning ourselves with noble characteristics.
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We shall continue in an upcoming gathering, if Allah wills; and all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all worlds.