Part of حديث أم زرع (اكتملت السلسلة)
· Lesson 24 of 25
أصناف الرجال في حديث أم زرع | الحلقة (24) | عندما تتكلم المرأة عن زوجها
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Transcript
Machine translation — may contain errors
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In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
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Men's items
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In the hadith of Umm Zara’
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When a woman talks about her husband
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A woman loves to talk about her husband
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And that should be the focus of her talk
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There is no surprise in that
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The nature of women is completely different from the nature of men
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This council is only an example of women's councils
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And the talk about his wives
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Ibn Hajar, may God have mercy on him, said commenting on the story of this council:
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And it is the business of women if they speak
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Their conversation should only be about men
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This is unlike men
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Most of their talk is regarding matters of livelihood
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But what are the rules for talking about husbands between women?
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First, beware of backbiting
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God Almighty forbids backbiting
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He said, “Do not backbite one another.”
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The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, explained the meaning of backbiting, saying:
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Do you know what backbiting is?
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They said: God and His Messenger know best
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He said: He reminded you of your brother in a way that he dislikes
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It was said: What do you think if there is something in my brother that I say?
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He said, "If what you say is true, then you backbited him."
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If it is not in it, then it has guided him
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Narrated by Muslim
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The wife is the one most aware of the husband's faults
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And it is
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Therefore, he covered her and she covered him
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If you talk between women about something that the husband hates
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I fell into occultation
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Women often fall into backbiting
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When she talks to her mother and sisters about her husband
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The fact that she wants someone to talk to her does not exempt her from sin
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Because disclosing what the husband dislikes is backbiting that makes the woman sinful
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What should a woman do if problems arise between her and her husband?
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She wanted to air her concerns
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This is one of the cases that most ensnare a woman in backbiting
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How can a woman avoid it?
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So that the woman avoids falling into backbiting in this case
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She must take two things into consideration
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Firstly
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Choose well who you talk to
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Which is required
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The ability to provide advice and guidance for such problems
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To have the ability to control the mind and control emotions
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Secondly
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Her intention should be to solve the problem
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And not just venting
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Since women are emotional by nature
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Her emotion overpowers her reason
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It may not be appropriate to consult on marital problems that need to be heard by both parties
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However, her experiences can be used to provide advice and guidance in making marital life a success
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Evidence that it is permissible to talk about the husband in a way that he dislikes
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In order to solve the problem or referendum
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Hind bint Atba’s conversation with her husband
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On the authority of Aisha, may God be pleased with her
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Hind bint Atba said:
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O Messenger of God
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Abu Sufyan is a stingy man
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He does not give me enough for me and my child
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Except what I took from him and he did not know
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And he said
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Take what is sufficient for you and your child, according to what is reasonable
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Narrated by Al-Bukhari
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The question here
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Is what happened by women in this council considered backbiting?
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Is it permissible to emulate them in this act?
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The answer is yes
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This is backbiting
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Because each woman knows the other
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She knows who her husband is
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They should not be imitated in this action
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A group comes together
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And each one talks about her husband
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But updating it is now permissible
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Because the women who do not meet are unknown
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Their husbands are also unknown
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Mentioning about them is not considered backbiting
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Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said
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Some scholars have inferred from this hadith
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To mention the bad and the defect
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If someone mentions him in a way that his name and eyes are not known
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It is not backbiting
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But backbiting
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To mean something specific that he dislikes
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The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace
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He told about some of these women
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What they mentioned about their husbands' faults
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He does not talk about himself or others, may God bless him and grant him peace
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Except what is permissible and permissible
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What is the point of mentioning these women?
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If their action was backbiting
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Firstly
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If there was no benefit in mentioning their story
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When Aisha, may God be pleased with her, told her
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When the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, listened to her speech
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Without denial
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Secondly
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Remember stories like this to learn a lesson
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And benefit from the experiences of others
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Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said
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And there is some jurisprudence in it
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It is permissible to talk about empty nations
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And bygone generations and past centuries
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He gave them examples
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Because in his conduct he is considered for the considered
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And clairvoyance for the clairvoyant
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And extracting benefit for the extensive researcher
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In this hadith
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Especially if it happens to women
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A benefit in urging loyalty to Ba'ullah
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And mourning for shortness of mind and heart towards them
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And thanks for all they do
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And get along well with them
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Like a mother's condition
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And what appeared to be her admiration for Abu Zara’
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Congratulations to him and all his family
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He thanked her for his kindness to her
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Everything after it is made small
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Because of her story, it was a topic of conversation
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It also occurred in some narrations
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Including the introduction to the patience of others
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whose husbands We blamed
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And the media about the bad behavior they endured
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And the ferocity of their morals
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Let women emulate this
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Whoever has reached her experience of patience
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Secondly
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Don't mince words
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Women have the power to change reality
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Without falling into lies
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We saw it in a previous episode
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Evidence of this
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It is not permissible for a woman to talk about her husband
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To deceive the listener into something that is not in her husband
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Of bad qualities
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Third
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Do not deny your husband's benevolence
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The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, told
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That most of the women go to Hell
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It is ungrateful for the husband's benevolence
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He said: I showed you the fire
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So most of its people are women
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They disbelieve
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It was said: Do they disbelieve in God?
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He said: “The husband and wife are ungrateful.”
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And they deny charity
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Then she saw something from you
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She said: I have never seen anything good from you
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Narrated by Al-Bukhari
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Fourth, do not lie
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Lying is a major sin
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It is one of the worst manners in dealing with people
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And the woman when talking about her husband
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You may lie and slander him
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Or with praise to appear in front of women
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On behalf of herself or her husband
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On the authority of Ikrimah, Rifa'ta divorced his wife
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So Abdul Rahman bin Al-Zubair Al-Qardi married her
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Aisha said
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She is wearing a green veil
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So she complained to her and showed her green skin
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When the Messenger of God came
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Women support each other
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Aisha said
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I have seen what happens to believing women
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Her skin is greener than her dress
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He said and heard it
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She came to the Messenger of God
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Then he came with two of his sons from another country
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She said, “By God, I am not at fault.”
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However, what he has is not richer
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About me from this
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She took a fringe from her dress
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I repent, by God, O Messenger of God
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I will shake it off, I will shake it off
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But she is an outlier who wants prosperity
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The Messenger of God said
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If so, it is not permissible for him
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Or you did not prepare it for him so that he could taste it
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From your honey
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He said and saw two of his sons with him
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And these are your sons, he said
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He said this is what you claim
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Whatever you claim, by God
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To them, it resembles a crow to a crow
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Narrated by Al-Bukhari
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This woman lied to her husband
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You threw what was not in it to get it
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On divorce, she returns to her first husband
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But God revealed the truth of what she said
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The Messenger responded to her
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So be careful
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When you talk about your husband
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We will continue in an upcoming meeting, God willing
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Praise be to God, Lord of the worlds