Part of The Hadith of Umm Zar' (series completed)
· Lesson 18 of 25
Types of men in the hadith of Umm Zara’ | Episode (18) | Mother of planting and beauty of the family environment
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Transcript
Machine translation — may contain errors
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In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.
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Categories of Men in the Hadith of Umm Zar'.
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Umm Zar' and the Beauty of the Family Environment.
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Among the blessings of happiness a woman can attain in her marital life
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is to be granted a close-knit, wise, and sensible family,
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encompassed by love, tolerance, and noble character,
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completely free from troubles—
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whether from the husband, his relatives,
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the children, or the servants.
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Umm Zar' was truly blessed with all of this,
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and she recounted the details herself, saying:
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"The mother of Abu Zar'—and what can describe the mother of Abu Zar'!
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Her storage bags were full, and her house was spacious.
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The son of Abu Zar'—and what can describe the son of Abu Zar'!
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His sleeping place was like a drawn palm branch,
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and the arm of a four-month-old kid would satisfy his hunger.
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The daughter of Abu Zar'—and what can describe the daughter of Abu Zar'!
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She was obedient to her father, obedient to her mother,
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filled out her clothes gracefully, and was the envy of her female neighbor.
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The maidservant of Abu Zar'—and what can describe the maidservant of Abu Zar'!
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She never divulged our secrets abroad,
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nor embezzled our provisions wastefully,
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nor left our home untidy with scattered refuse."
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This was the household that surrounded Umm Zar'.
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However, these eloquent, classical Arabic words
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with which Umm Zar' described the members of this household
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require explanation,
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so that the beauty of that environment becomes clear to us,
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along with the immense bliss in which Umm Zar' lived,
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leading us to wonder:
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How did she eventually lose this bliss?
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And did she cause its loss through her own misbehavior?
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Before answering this question,
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we will highlight the beauty of the family environment in which Umm Zar' lived.
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First: The mother of Abu Zar'.
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Umm Zar' said of her:
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"Her storage bags were full, and her house was spacious."
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She praised her mother-in-law in two respects:
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First, she praised her person,
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saying that "her storage bags were full" (*'ukūmuhā radāḥ*).
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The word *'ukūm* carries two meanings.
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The first meaning
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refers to large sacks or trunks
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in which provisions and goods are kept;
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she described them as heavy and brimming with possessions.
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"*Al-'ukūm*
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are the packed hampers and sacks containing vessels
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filled with various kinds of food and goods,
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the singular being *'ikm*."
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As for her description *radāḥ*,
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he explains:
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"They are large, bulky, and heavily packed."
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The second meaning
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refers to a woman's hips and buttocks,
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also termed *kafal*.
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According to this, the meaning is
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that she possessed full, ample buttocks,
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and due to their fullness,
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they folded with layers of fat.
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"It is possible that the expression *'ukūm* and its plumpness (*radāḥah*) was an allusion
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to her hips and their fullness,
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just as one says
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'a *radāḥ* maiden,'
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meaning one with ample hips.
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She used the plural *'ukūm* (sacks) for the hip due to its immense size,
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as though each side of it were an entire sack."
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Both meanings
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demonstrate that the mother of Abu Zar'
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lived the lavish life of the wealthy and prosperous,
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to the point of possessing abundant storage chests for her belongings
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due to their great quantity and diversity;
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likewise, she enjoyed ample food
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which left its distinct marks upon her body,
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seen in plumpness, luxury, and vibrant physical health.
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Second, she praised her house,
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describing it as expansive in its bounties and courtyard.
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"She used the spaciousness of the house and the breadth of the courtyard as an allusion
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to its abundant bounty,
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its comfortable living,
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and generosity toward whoever visited it;
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just as people use 'welcome' (*marḥaban*, from *raḥb*, spaciousness) to express the same,
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saying: 'Welcome!'
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They also say:
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'So-and-so has a spacious home,'
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by which they do not mean its physical dimensions,
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but rather his abundant goodness and generous hospitality."
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But why did she praise her mother-in-law?
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Ibn Hajar, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"By describing her husband's mother, she indicated
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that her husband was exceptionally dutiful to his mother,
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and that he was not advanced in age,
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for that is typically the case
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with someone whose mother is described in such youthful terms."
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Thus, this was a praise of her husband
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as well as of his mother.
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Furthermore, if her mother-in-law was relatively young
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and yet no conflict arose between her and Umm Zar'
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regarding the usual jealousy found among women,
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this was a true blessing enjoyed by Umm Zar'—
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to be free of rivalry
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over the heart of this noble young man, Abu Zar'.
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Second:
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The son of Abu Zar'.
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Umm Zar' said of him:
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"His sleeping place was like a drawn palm branch,
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and the arm of a four-month-old kid would satisfy his hunger."
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She praised him for his slender build,
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requiring only a narrow space to lie in,
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like a single reed drawn from a woven mat,
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and being satisfied with very little food.
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He was not a glutton
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who burdened her with demands for food,
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its quantity, or its variety.
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"She alluded to this by noting that the place where he slept was so narrow
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that it was like the strip left by a single reed
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when drawn out from a woven palm mat,
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leaving an empty slot among its counterparts;
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and this slender build was an attribute praised among Arab men."
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Ibn Hajar, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"Similarly, her statement:
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'and the arm of a kid would satisfy his hunger,'
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indicates that he did not consume what she possessed,
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let alone demand it;
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rather, if he ate at her home,
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he would be content with very little,
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just enough of food and drink to sustain himself."
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This too was among the blessings she enjoyed with the son of Abu Zar'.
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Third:
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The daughter of Abu Zar'.
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Umm Zar' said of her:
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"She was obedient to her father, obedient to her mother,
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filled out her clothes gracefully, and was the envy of her female neighbor."
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She praised her for three qualities:
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First,
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her obedience to her parents.
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This is among the greatest sources of happiness for a woman:
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to have her daughter be obedient to her,
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because a daughter often
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competes with her mother for the father's affection,
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and troubles frequently arise
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between a daughter and her mother
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due to stubbornness and mutual jealousy.
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"That is, she was dutiful to them both,
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never opposing their judgment,
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which demonstrates her modesty and sound intellect."
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Second,
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she praised the beauty of her body.
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"She described her as being of full figure
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and well-fleshed,
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expressing that by saying she filled out her garment;
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for a garment is only filled out by a well-proportioned, statuesque body,
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a complete figure,
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ample flesh,
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and a delicate, well-nourished frame;
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and this is among the qualities for which women were praised,
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while dispraised for their opposite."
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Third,
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her peers envied her
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because of the beauty and excellent manners she possessed.
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"She further reinforced her praise of her
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by indicating that she was the finest of her fellow women—
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meaning the women of her era or her tribe—
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and that due to her consummate beauty
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and the harmony between her outward perfection and her noble character,
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she was 'the grief of her neighbor,'
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meaning her co-wife or her neighbor;
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whatever she saw of her qualities distressed her, stirred her jealousy,
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and left her bewildered."
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If we look closely at Umm Zar's praise of her family,
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we find that she focused heavily on physical, aesthetic appearances.
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And this is not surprising,
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for the women of the Pre-Islamic Period of Ignorance (Jahiliyyah)
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directed their utmost concern toward physical appearance.
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As for a woman's intellect and heart,
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that concern belongs to those who adhere to the teachings of Islam;
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otherwise, even Muslim women today
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have become preoccupied with sculpting the body according to modern European, ignorant standards.
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I ask Allah to grant them guidance and success.
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Fourth:
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The maidservant of Abu Zar'.
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She praised her with three lovely traits
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that every woman desires in her domestic helper,
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saying:
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"She never divulged our secrets abroad,
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nor embezzled our provisions wastefully,
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nor left our home untidy with scattered refuse."
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"She described her as trustworthy regarding secrets and property,
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dedicated to serving their interests with sincere goodwill:
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she never disclosed their private talk,
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nor squandered their food or acted deceitfully with it,
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nor did she carry it outside to others;
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she neither spoiled nor squandered it;
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nor did she sow resentment among them;
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nor did she neglect their service or the upkeep of their home.
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This was a maidservant who would earn the highest possible rating in managing a household.
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This was merely part of the bliss in which Umm Zar' lived,
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and which every woman longs for in her life.
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How, then, did she come to lose this bliss?
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And was the real reason truly as she recounted at the end of her hadith:
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that he simply went out, saw another woman, and divorced her?
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Or were there other underlying reasons she concealed,
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which were the true causes of the divorce?
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We shall continue in our next gathering, if Allah wills.
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And all praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds.