Part of The Hadith of Umm Zar' (series completed)
· Lesson 23 of 25
Types of men in the hadith of Umm Zara’ | Episode (23) | I was to you like a sow's father to a sow's mother
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Transcript
Machine translation — may contain errors
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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
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The various types of men as described in the hadith of Umm Zar‘.
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"I am to you as Abu Zar‘ was to Umm Zar‘."
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After ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, finished recounting the story of the women,
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who had gathered to speak to one another about their husbands,
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and the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, was listening to her attentively,
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he commented on her lengthy narration with a few brief words,
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expressing the beauty of his companionship and his treatment of her.
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He said, "I am to you as Abu Zar‘ was to Umm Zar‘."
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In another narration: "O ‘A’ishah, I am to you as Abu Zar‘ was to Umm Zar‘,
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except that Abu Zar‘ divorced, whereas I do not divorce."
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Qadi ‘Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
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"The statement of the Prophet, peace be upon him, to ‘A’ishah,
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'I am to you as Abu Zar‘ was to Umm Zar‘,'
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was to comfort her and to emphasize the excellence of his companionship,
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because of what Umm Zar‘ had mentioned regarding the goodness of his company,
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and her gratitude for his overall conduct toward her.
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He then made an exception regarding the one unpleasant aspect of him,
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by saying that he had divorced her,
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whereas I do not divorce you,"
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as a way to complete her comfort,
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to perfect the tranquility of her heart,
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and to remove any misconception that the comparison applied to all of Abu Zar‘’s circumstances,
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since there was nothing blameworthy in his conduct other than his divorcing her.
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Indeed, the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, was
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the model to be emulated in how to treat one’s wife.
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It is impossible to know the details of this model
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except by reading his Prophetic biography (Seerah) with his wives.
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These few pages are too brief to contain this fragrant biography,
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but I will provide some examples of his beautiful life with ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her.
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He, peace be upon him, used to play with her
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while they were performing ghusl (ritual bathing) from janabah (major ritual impurity).
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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"I would perform ghusl with the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, from a single vessel;
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he would race me, and I would race him,
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until he would say, 'Leave some for me,'
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and I would say, 'Leave some for me.'"
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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He, peace be upon him, used to kiss her while he was fasting.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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"The Prophet, peace be upon him, would kiss and embrace while fasting,
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for he was the most capable of you in controlling his desires."
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Narrated by Muslim.
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He, peace be upon him, would kiss her while leaving for prayer.
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On the authority of ‘Urwah from ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her:
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The Prophet, peace be upon him, kissed one of his wives,
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then went out to prayer without performing wudu’.
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‘Urwah said, "Who could it be but you?"
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She laughed.
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Narrated by Abu Dawud.
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He, peace be upon him, would eat from the same spot she had eaten from,
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and drink from the same spot she had drunk from.
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On the authority of Shurayh from ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her:
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I asked her, "Does a woman eat with her husband while she is menstruating?"
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She replied, "Yes.
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The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, would call me to eat with him while I was menstruating.
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He would take a piece of meat and ask me to bite from it,
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so I would take a bite and put it down,
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then he would take it and bite from it,
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placing his mouth exactly where I had placed mine on the meat.
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He would call for a drink and ask me to drink from it before he did,
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so I would take it and drink, then put it down,
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and he would take it and drink from it,
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placing his mouth exactly where I had placed mine on the cup."
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Narrated by Muslim.
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He, peace be upon him, would hold her hand while walking among the people.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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"I wanted to enter the House (the Ka‘bah) to pray inside it,
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so the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, took my hand,
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brought me into the Hijr,
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and said, 'Pray in the Hijr if you wish to enter the House,
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for it is a part of the House,
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but your people excluded it when they rebuilt the Ka‘bah,
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and left it outside the House.'"
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Narrated by Abu Dawud.
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He, peace be upon him, would help her with household chores.
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Al-Aswad said:
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I asked ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,
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"What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do in his house?"
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She said:
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"He would be in the service of his family,"
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meaning, helping his family.
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"And when the time for prayer arrived,
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he would go out to prayer."
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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He, peace be upon him, would be mindful of her feelings and psychological state.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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"We set out, intending nothing but Hajj.
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When we reached Sarif, I began to menstruate.
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The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, entered upon me while I was weeping.
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He said,
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'What is the matter? Have you begun to menstruate?'
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I said, 'Yes.'
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He said,
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'This is something Allah has decreed for the daughters of Adam.
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Perform all the rites that the pilgrim performs,
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except that you do not circumambulate the House.'"
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She added:
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"And the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, sacrificed cows on behalf of his wives."
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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He, peace be upon him, would pamper her.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, was sitting
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when we heard a commotion and the sound of children.
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The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, stood up,
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and there was an Abyssinian woman dancing, with the children around her.
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He said,
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"O ‘A’ishah, come and look."
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I came,
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and rested my chin on the shoulder of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,
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and began watching her from between his shoulder and his head.
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He said to me,
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"Have you had enough? Have you had enough?"
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She said:
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"I kept saying, 'No,'
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just to see how much I meant to him."
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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And ‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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I said, "O Messenger of Allah,
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tell me, if you descended into a valley where there was a tree that had been grazed upon,
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and you found a tree that had not been grazed upon,
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which one would you let your camel graze from?"
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He said,
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"The one that had not been grazed upon."
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She meant that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, had not married any virgin other than her.
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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His, peace be upon him, knowledge of her varying moods.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said to me,
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"I certainly know when you are pleased with me,
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and when you are angry with me."
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She said:
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I asked,
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"How do you know that?"
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He said,
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"When you are pleased with me,
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you say, 'No, by the Lord of Muhammad.'
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But when you are angry with me,
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you say, 'No, by the Lord of Ibrahim.'"
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She said:
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I said,
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"Indeed, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah,
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I only avoid mentioning your name."
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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He, peace be upon him, would converse with her during the last part of the night.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said
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that the Prophet, peace be upon him, would pray,
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and if I were awake, he would talk to me,
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otherwise, he would lie down until the call to prayer.
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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He, peace be upon him, would be intimate with her while she was menstruating.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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I would perform ghusl with the Prophet, peace be upon him,
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from a single vessel,
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both of us being in a state of major ritual impurity.
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He would command me to wear an izar (waist wrapper),
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then he would be intimate with me while I was menstruating.
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He would lean his head toward me while he was in i‘tikaf (seclusion in the mosque),
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and I would wash it while I was menstruating.
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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He, peace be upon him, would recline in her lap and recite the Qur'an.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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The Prophet, peace be upon him, would recline in my lap while I was menstruating,
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and then he would recite the Qur'an.
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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He, peace be upon him, was mindful of her need for recreation and permissible play.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said:
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I used to play with dolls in the presence of the Prophet, peace be upon him,
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and I had friends who would play with me.
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When the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, would enter, they would hide from him,
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so he would send them to me, and they would play with me.
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Narrated by al-Bukhari.
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He, peace be upon him, would race with her and play with her.
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‘A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her,
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was with the Prophet, peace be upon him, on a journey.
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She said:
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"I raced him, and I beat him on foot.
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Later, when I had gained some weight,
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I raced him again, and he beat me."
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He said,
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"This is for that race."
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Narrated by Abu Dawud.
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These are examples from the life of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, with ‘A’ishah.
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So, how are you, noble man, with your wife?
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We shall continue in a future meeting, if Allah wills.
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And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.