Part of The Hadith of Umm Zar' (series completed)
· Lesson 17 of 25
Types of men in the hadith of Umm Zara’ | Episode (17) | Mother of planting and bliss of life
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Transcript
Machine translation — may contain errors
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In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.
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The Types of Husbands
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In the hadith of Umm Zar'
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Umm Zar' and the Bliss of Life
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Then came the turn of Umm Zar',
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and she was the last of them to speak.
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She was the one who elaborated the most on her life with her husband,
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and her words are not devoid of reflecting women's inherent nature
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in concealing certain realities
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and highlighting certain matters.
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This is a word of advice for every man who strives to resolve marital disputes:
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he must pay attention to this reality present in most women,
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except for those upon whom my Lord has mercy.
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Thus, he should not rely solely on her words
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and pass judgment without deliberation, scrutiny, or listening to her husband
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or the one she is complaining about.
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I leave you, noble husband, to contemplate the words of Umm Zar',
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so that you may deduce for yourself
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what Umm Zar' concealed from the women
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in her lengthy account about herself and her husband.
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Umm Zar' said:
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"My husband was Abu Zar',
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and what a man Abu Zar' was!
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He loaded my ears with heavy ornaments,
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plumped the flesh of my upper arms,
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brought me joy,
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and made me pleased with myself.
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He found me among a meager flock of sheep in a barren cleft of the mountain,
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and brought me to owners of neighing horses, groaning camels,
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threshers of grain, and purifiers of harvest.
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In his presence, I speak and my speech is never belittled;
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I sleep until the morning is well advanced;
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and I drink until I am fully satisfied.
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And what of the mother of Abu Zar'!
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What a woman the mother of Abu Zar' was!
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Her storage bags are plump and spacious,
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and her house is grand and ample.
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And what of the son of Abu Zar'!
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What a youth the son of Abu Zar' was!
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His bed is as slender as a peeled palm branch,
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and he is satisfied with the foreleg of a four-month-old kid.
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And what of the daughter of Abu Zar'!
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What a lady the daughter of Abu Zar' was!
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Obedient to her father, compliant to her mother,
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filling her gown generously, and the envy of her fellow women.
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And what of the maidservant of Abu Zar'!
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What a servant the maidservant of Abu Zar' was!
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She never divulges our secrets abroad,
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nor does she waste our provisions or hoard them away,
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nor does she leave our house littered with refuse."
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She continued:
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"Abu Zar' once went out
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while the milk-skins were being churned,
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and he met a woman with two sons of hers who were like two cheetahs,
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playing from beneath her waist with two pomegranates.
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So he divorced me and married her.
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After him, I married an honorable, noble man,
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who rode a spirited steed,
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brandished a fine spear,
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drove rich livestock home to me at dusk,
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and gave me a pair of every type of grazing animal,
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saying:
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'Eat, Umm Zar', and provide for your kin.'
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Yet," she said,
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"if I were to gather everything he gave me,
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it would not fill the smallest vessel of Abu Zar'!"
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This was Umm Zar's account of her husband, Abu Zar'.
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From this narrative of hers,
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we realize the immense scale of praise she bestowed upon Abu Zar',
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and we can infer with utmost clarity
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the greatness of her love for him
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and the intensity of her attachment to him—
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indeed, her love for everything connected to him:
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his mother, his son, his daughter,
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and even his maidservant.
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But did you notice, my noble brother and husband,
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that she was speaking about the man who divorced her,
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not her current husband?
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The women who sat in that gathering
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had pledged and bound themselves by an oath
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not to conceal anything regarding their husbands.
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So did Umm Zar' speak about her husband?
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Yes, she did speak about him;
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however, she did not find in her second husband—
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who had showered her with diverse bounties—
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anything to boast of before the women in that gathering.
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Rather, she belittled all the good he gave her,
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and turned her attention back to the one who had divorced her,
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boasting of him among the women.
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What had Abu Zar' done for her
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to earn such intense devotion?
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How did she repay the kindness Abu Zar' showed her?
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Why did she lose him when he saw another woman?
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And what did he see in that other woman that led him to replace her?
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Perhaps, my dear brother and husband, and my dear sister and wife,
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we might delve into the details of the life of Umm Zar'
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with Abu Zar' throughout these episodes,
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in the hope that we find a satisfying answer
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to these questions.
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First:
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The luxury in which Umm Zar' lived.
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Umm Zar' said, describing the bliss
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in which Abu Zar' had her live:
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"He loaded my ears with heavy ornaments,
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plumped the flesh of my upper arms,
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and brought me joy, making me pleased with myself.
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He found me among a meager flock of sheep in a barren cleft of the mountain,
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and brought me to owners of neighing horses, groaning camels,
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threshers of grain, and purifiers of harvest.
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In his presence, I speak and my speech is never belittled;
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I sleep until the morning is well advanced;
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and I drink until I am fully satisfied."
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The luxurious life that Umm Zar' enjoyed
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with Abu Zar' encompassed several beautiful dimensions,
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the first of which was:
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He adorned her with jewelry.
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She said, "He loaded my ears with heavy ornaments."
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"She means he adorned me with earrings and pendants
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that swayed from my ears."
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And al-naws
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denotes the swaying motion of anything suspended.
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That is to say, he adorned her with gold,
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which is among the most important adornments for women
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and one of the things that brings them the greatest joy;
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every woman loves gold
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and takes pride in wearing it before other women.
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Second: he plumped her body.
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She said, "and plumped the flesh of my upper arms."
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"She did not mean the upper arms in particular;
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rather, she meant her entire body.
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She is saying that he fattened her through his benevolent care of her,
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for when the upper arms grow plump, the rest of the body grows plump as well."
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Meaning, he caused her to flourish through his generous care of her,
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and such healthy fullness does not come amidst worries and troubles;
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rather, it comes with happiness and prosperity.
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Third:
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He filled her life with joy and delight.
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She said, "and brought me joy, making me pleased with myself."
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"Meaning, he made me joyful, so I rejoiced."
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"She described him as having treated her with excellence,
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adorned her, made her life comfortable,
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nourished her, and allowed her to see happiness in all her circumstances."
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Fourth: he elevated her from hardship to luxury.
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She said, "He found me among a meager flock of sheep in a barren cleft of the mountain,
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and brought me to owners of neighing horses, groaning camels, threshers of grain, and purifiers of harvest."
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Abu 'Ubayd al-Harawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"Her saying, 'and brought me to owners of neighing horses and groaning camels,'
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means that he brought me to his family,
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and they were owners of horses and camels;
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for sahil refers to the neighing of horses, and atit refers to the groaning cries of camels."
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Al-Qadi 'Iyad (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"She described him as having transferred her from the hardship of her family's livelihood
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and their bare subsistence upon their small flock of sheep
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to a people of wealth and vast possessions:
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horses, camels, camel-litters, cultivated crops, cattle,
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working draft beasts, slaves, servants,
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implements for winnowing and refining food,
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processing it, abundant livestock,
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and birds fattened for eating.
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That is because owners of sheep live in hardship or bare sufficiency,
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lacking great wealth.
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Thus, she made known her transition from that state to this one,
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and the opulence of her life with the milk and meat of these herds
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and other kinds of food,
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particularly through her allusion to what is threshed and winnowed, meaning bread.
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Bread was the most refined food of the Arabs and their most cherished sustenance,
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as none among them could obtain it except those of immense wealth
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or those living close to cultivated lands and towns;
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otherwise, the vast majority of their food
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consisted solely of meat, milk, and dates,
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as their poetry clearly indicates."
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Fifth: Abu Zar's doting pampering of her.
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She was thoroughly pampered in his care,
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never having to do anything that would fatigue her,
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to the extent that Umm Zar' described this pampering by saying:
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"In his presence, I speak and my speech is never belittled;
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I sleep until the morning is well advanced;
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and I drink until I am fully satisfied."
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Abu al-'Abbas al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"Her statement, 'I sleep until the morning is well advanced,'
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means: I prolong my sleep until late morning;
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no one wakes her up because she is honored,
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spared all domestic chores and labor."
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'Abd al-'Aziz al-Rajihi said:
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"She says that she held absolute authority in his household;
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she speaks and no one rejects her words,
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and she rests well into the morning—
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meaning she sleeps late into the morning daylight,
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because she has servants who suffice her of all chores,
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unlike a woman who has no servants to serve her,
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who must rise early in the morning to work in the house.
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Furthermore, she drinks and quenches her thirst,
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attaining complete satisfaction as she pleases.
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Thus, she praises her husband
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by granting her comfort and giving her everything she desired,
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and conferring absolute authority upon her,
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so that she could speak as she wished,
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eat whatever she wished,
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drink whatever she wished,
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and sleep however she pleased,
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with all her needs fully provided for.
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The luxury and pampering that Abu Zar' provided for Umm Zar'
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bear clear testimony to his immense love for her
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and the nobility of his character.
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So, how did Umm Zar' respond
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to this luxury and affectionate pampering?
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We shall continue in our next gathering, if Allah wills.
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And all praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds.