Part of Lives of the Salaf — the Pious Predecessors (series completed)
· Lesson 48 of 72
A summary of the life of the Salaf between words and deeds | Episode (48) | The condition of the predecessors in dealing with their wives
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Transcript
Machine translation — may contain errors
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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
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The life of the salaf between word and deed.
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The conduct of the salaf in their treatment of their wives.
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Their advice and guidance to both husband and wife.
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'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man who intended to divorce his wife:
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"Do not divorce her."
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The man said, "I do not love her."
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'Umar replied, "Are all homes built upon love? Where is the care and the sense of duty?"
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He (may Allah be pleased with him) also said, "Women are a vulnerability."
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"So shield them within their homes, and remedy their weaknesses with silence."
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He (may Allah be pleased with him) further said, "A believing servant is given nothing after faith in Allah..."
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"...better than a wife who is fertile, loving, and of good character."
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"And a servant is afflicted with nothing after disbelief in Allah..."
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"...more severe than a sharp-tongued woman."
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"She has a tongue like iron and a foul character."
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He (may Allah be pleased with him) also said, "When a man spends on himself and his family..."
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"...he receives a reward for it."
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"A man should begin with those he supports, then the closest, and then the next closest."
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"If there is anything left over, he should begin with that."
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'Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) had two wives.
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When it was the day of one, he would buy meat for half a dirham.
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And when it was the day of the other, he would buy meat for half a dirham.
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It is narrated that Hudhayfah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
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"I am most at ease when those in need come to complain to me."
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Mu'adh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) had two wives.
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When he was with one, he would not perform wudu using water from the house of the other.
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A woman came to him and asked:
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"You are truly the messenger of the Messenger of Allah; tell me..."
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"...what is the right of a wife over her husband?"
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He replied, "Her right over him is..."
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"...that he should not strike her face nor revile her."
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"And her right over him is..."
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"...that he feeds her from what he eats."
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"And clothes her from what he wears."
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"And her right over him is..."
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"...that he does not abandon her within their home."
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They both died in a plague that struck them on the same day.
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He brought them both to the grave.
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Then he drew lots between them.
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To see which of them would enter the grave before the other.
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Al-Zibriqan ibn Badr (may Allah be pleased with him) used to...
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...when he married off a daughter, approach her curtain.
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And say, "Do you hear?"
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"Be a maidservant to him, and he will be a slave to you."
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Sufyan al-Thawri (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"If you wish to marry, give a gift to the mother."
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Abu al-Aswad al-Du'ali (may Allah have mercy on him) said to his daughter:
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"Beware of jealousy, for it is the key to divorce."
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"And adorn yourself."
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"The best of adornment is kohl."
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"And use perfume."
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"The best of perfume is performing wudu thoroughly."
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"And be as I said to your mother at times:"
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"Accept what I offer you, and you will sustain my affection."
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"And do not speak when I am in a state of anger."
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"For I have found that love and resentment in the heart..."
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"...if they gather, love will not remain; it will depart."
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Abu Sinan...
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...Dirar ibn Murrah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
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"I have watered the family today and fed the sheep."
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He used to say:
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"The best of you are those who are most beneficial to their families."
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Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a woman who fasts...
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...while her husband forbids her.
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Is it permissible for her to fast?
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He said, "She should not fast."
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"Nor should she initiate any voluntary prayer or fasting..."
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"...unless he gives her permission."
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"Except for the obligatory, mandatory fasts."
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"As for anything other than that, she should not fast except with his permission."
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"And she must obey him in everything he commands her to do of obedience."
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Abu Bakr ibn al-Labbad (may Allah have mercy on him) had...
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...a sharp-tongued wife.
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She would hurt him with her tongue.
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His companions said to him:
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"Divorce her."
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"And we will fulfill her rights."
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He replied:
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"I fear that if I divorce her, she will be a trial for another Muslim."
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"Perhaps Allah has averted a great trial from me through my enduring her."
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He used to say:
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"Every believer has a trial."
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"And she is my trial."
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The life of the salaf...
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...between word and deed.