Riyadh Al-Salehin | Episode (49) | Chapter on honoring one’s parents and maintaining family ties (1)

0:00 *Riyad al-Salihin* (The Meadows of the Righteous) from the words of the Master of the Messengers, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.

0:09 Chapter: Filial Piety and Upholding Kinship Ties.

0:18 Allah Almighty said:

0:20 “And serve Allah. Ascribe no thing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and unto the neighbour who is of kin (unto you) and the neighbour who is not of kin, and the fellow-traveller and the wayfarer and (the slaves) whom your right hands possess. Lo! Allah loveth not such as are proud and boastful,” (4:36)

0:24 "...and show kindness to parents, near relatives, orphans, the needy,

0:30 the neighbor who is near of kin, the neighbor who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer, and those whom your right hands possess."

0:39 And He Almighty said:

0:41 “O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty toward Allah in Whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bare you). Lo! Allah hath been a watcher over you.” (4:1)

0:46 And He Almighty said:

0:48 "...those who uphold what Allah has commanded to be upheld..." the verse.

0:54 And He Almighty said:

0:56 “We have enjoined on man kindness to parents; but if they strive to make thee join with Me that of which thou hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return and I shall tell you what ye used to do.” (29:8)

1:00 And He Almighty said:

1:02 “Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)

1:09 “Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)

1:15 “Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)

1:20 “Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (17:23)

1:23 “And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.” (17:24)

1:27 “And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.” (17:24)

1:32 And He Almighty said:

1:34 “And We have enjoined upon man concerning his partners - His mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years - Give thanks unto Me and unto thy parents. Unto Me is the journeying.” (31:14)

1:41 "...and his weaning is in two years—

1:44 'Be grateful to Me and to your parents...'"

1:47 On the authority of Abu 'Abd al-Rahman 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

1:55 I asked the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him:

1:59 "Which deed is most beloved to Allah Almighty?"

2:03 He replied, "Performing prayer at its appointed time."

2:07 I asked, "Then which?"

2:09 He replied, "Filial piety toward parents."

2:12 I asked, "Then which?"

2:14 He replied, "Jihad in the path of Allah."

2:18 Agreed upon.

2:20 Among the lessons of this hadith:

2:24 The greatest obligatory right of Allah Almighty after Tawhid

2:28 is the ritual prayer.

2:31 Hastening to perform the prayer at the beginning of its prescribed time is better than delaying it,

2:36 because it was stipulated—for it to be the most beloved of deeds to Allah—

2:41 that it be performed at its due time,

2:43 namely, the earliest part thereof.

2:45 The greatest of the rights owed to fellow human beings

2:48 is the right of parents;

2:50 it directly follows the right of Allah, as noted previously in the verses cited, so bear this in mind.

2:55 Jihad in the path of Allah is the noblest form of sacrifice.

3:00 Righteous deeds vary in virtue over one another;

3:05 they are not all of the same rank.

3:09 It is permissible to ask about multiple matters in a single sitting.

3:14 One should treat a scholar with gentleness and consideration,

3:16 refraining from overburdening him with excessive questioning,

3:18 out of concern for causing weariness.

3:22 On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

3:26 The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

3:30 "No child can repay his father,

3:32 unless he finds him enslaved,

3:35 purchases him, and emancipates him."

3:38 Narrated by Muslim.

3:41 *Yajzi* (repays) means to adequately reward or compensate.

3:45 Among the lessons of this hadith:

3:47 The immense status of the parents' right in Islam.

3:50 A child is never permitted to enslave his parents or either of them;

3:56 and should that occur,

3:58 it is one of the portents of the Hour and signs of the changing times,

4:03 as mentioned previously in the Hadith of Gabriel.

4:06 A father is automatically emancipated as soon as his child purchases him,

4:11 since the purchase itself is the legal cause of emancipation.

4:14 On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him,

4:19 that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

4:23 “Then, when they have reached their term, take them back in kindness or part from them in kindness, and call to witness two just men among you, and keep your testimony upright for Allah. Whoso believeth in Allah and the Last Day is exhorted to act thus. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him,” (65:2)

4:27 "...let him honor his guest;

4:29 and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day,

4:33 let him uphold the ties of kinship;

4:35 and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day,

4:39 let him speak good or remain silent."

4:42 Agreed upon.

4:44 On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

4:48 The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

4:52 "Allah Almighty created the creation,

4:55 and when He finished with them, the womb arose and said:

5:00 'This is the station of one seeking refuge in You from severance.'

5:04 He said, 'Yes.

5:07 Are you not pleased that I should maintain ties with whoever maintains ties with you,

5:10 and sever ties with whoever severs ties with you?'

5:12 It said, 'Yes indeed!'

5:14 He said, 'Then that is yours.'"

5:17 Then the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said:

5:22 "Recite if you wish:

5:24 “Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?” (47:22)

5:32 “Such are they whom Allah curseth so that He deafeneth them and maketh blind their eyes.” (47:23)

5:39 Agreed upon.

5:42 In a narration by al-Bukhari:

5:44 "Allah Almighty said:

5:47 'Whoever maintains ties with you, I will maintain ties with him; and whoever severs ties with you, I will sever ties with him.'"

5:53 "He finished with them" means He completed their creation.

5:57 "The one seeking refuge" is the one turning to You for protection and seeking Your help.

6:04 Among the lessons of this hadith:

6:06 Everything other than Allah, Glorified and Exalted be He, is created,

6:10 brought into being after having not existed.

6:14 An emphasis on the absolute prohibition of severing kinship ties and turning away from relatives.

6:20 Seeking refuge must be directed solely to Allah alone, without partner.

6:25 Upholding ties of kinship is a cause for Allah's mercy upon His servants,

6:29 and a means for goodness to flourish among people.

6:34 Severing kinship ties leads to turning away and showing indifference toward divine remembrance,

6:39 and is a cause of corruption and mischief.

6:43 The finest commentary through which the Qur'an can be explained

6:46 is the speech of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him;

6:50 and the best evidence cited to clarify the meaning of a hadith

6:54 is the Word of Allah, Mighty and Majestic.

6:58 On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

7:02 A man came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and said:

7:07 "O Messenger of Allah, who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?"

7:13 He replied, "Your mother."

7:15 The man asked, "Then who?"

7:18 He replied, "Your mother."

7:20 The man asked, "Then who?"

7:22 He replied, "Your mother."

7:23 The man asked, "Then who?"

7:25 He replied, "Your father."

7:27 Agreed upon.

7:29 And in another narration:

7:31 "O Messenger of Allah, who is most entitled to good companionship?"

7:36 He replied, "Your mother,

7:37 then your mother,

7:39 then your mother,

7:40 then your father,

7:42 then your nearest relatives, in order of proximity."

7:45 *Al-Sahabah* carries the meaning of companionship (*al-suhbah*).

7:48 As for his phrase, "then your father" in the accusative case (*thumma abaka*),

7:50 it is governed in this form by an elided verb,

7:53 meaning: "then treat your father with piety."

7:56 In another narration it is in the nominative:

7:57 "then your father" (*thumma abuka*),

7:59 which is straightforward in meaning.

8:02 "Your nearest relatives, in order of proximity" (*adnaka adnaka*)

8:04 means the closest in kinship, then the next closest.

8:08 Among the lessons of this hadith:

8:10 Giving special care to the mother due to her physical vulnerability and greater need.

8:15 Honoring relatives is not all at a single, uniform level.

8:20 Prioritizing rights and assigning them to their proper ranks

8:23 is the normative principle and the essence of justice.

8:26 If a man is obligated to provide financial maintenance for both his mother and his father,

8:30 yet finds only enough for one of them,

8:33 the mother is given precedence.

8:37 On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, from the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

8:41 who said:

8:43 "May his nose be rubbed in the dust!

8:44 Then may his nose be rubbed in the dust!

8:46 Then may his nose be rubbed in the dust:

8:47 whoever finds his parents in their old age,

8:50 either one of them or both,

8:53 and yet does not enter Paradise!"

8:56 Narrated by Muslim.

8:59 *Raghim*

9:00 means it clung to the dust in abject humiliation.

9:05 Among the lessons of this hadith:

9:07 Filial piety and benevolence toward parents

9:10 are obligatory under all circumstances,

9:12 in their youth and in their old age.

9:16 Parents, in their advanced age,

9:18 stand in greater need of devoted care

9:22 on account of their weakness and physical dependency.

9:26 A Muslim should show consideration for the vulnerable and the elderly,

9:31 treating them with gentleness and mercy.

9:34 Undutifulness to parents incurs the Hellfire and expulsion from Allah's mercy,

9:39 while filial piety is a paved path leading to Paradise.

9:45 On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him,

9:48 that a man said: "O Messenger of Allah,

9:51 I have relatives with whom I try to maintain ties, but they sever them;

9:55 I treat them well, but they mistreat me;

9:59 and I am forbearing with them, yet they act insolently toward me."

10:02 He replied:

10:04 "If you are indeed as you have said,

10:06 it is as though you are feeding them hot ashes;

10:10 and there will never cease to be a supporter from Allah on your side against them as long as you remain upon that."

10:16 Narrated by Muslim.

10:18 "Feeding them hot ashes" (*tusiffuhumu al-mall*)

10:20 means it is as if you are making them swallow searing ashes.

10:24 This is an analogy comparing the guilt and sin that overtake them

10:27 to the burning agony that afflicts someone forced to consume hot ashes.

10:32 No blame attaches to the one who treats them with kindness;

10:35 rather, a tremendous burden of sin falls upon them for neglecting his right

10:40 and inflicting harm upon him.

10:42 And Allah knows best.

10:45 Among the lessons of this hadith:

10:48 The foundational principle in dealing with relatives

10:51 is benevolence, maintaining contact,

10:53 patience, and making excuses for them.

10:56 It should not be based merely on reciprocal treatment;

10:59 rather, one ought to endure hardship and harm for the sake of upholding the tie.

11:04 Repaying evil with good

11:07 is likely to prompt the wrongdoer to return to the truth,

11:10 as Allah Almighty said:

11:13 "Repel evil with that which is better..."

11:16 “The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and thee there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend.” (41:34)

11:23 You cannot discipline someone who has disobeyed Allah regarding you

11:26 with anything better than obeying Allah regarding him.

11:29 Complying with Allah's command is a means of securing Allah's aid for the believing servant.

11:35 Severing kinship ties brings distress and torment in this world,

11:39 as well as sin and severe reckoning in the Hereafter.

11:44 A Muslim should seek reward from Allah in his righteous conduct,

11:48 and the malice of others should never deter him from his noble habits.

11:53 In this context, we recall

11:56 the gentle reproach of the Lord of the worlds to Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him,

12:00 when he resolved to cut off his financial support to Mistah ibn Uthathah,

12:04 who had defamed his honor during the Incident of the Slander;

12:08 whereup Allah Almighty revealed:

12:11 "And let not those of virtue among you and ample means pledge..."

12:14 “And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives for the cause of Allah. Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” (24:22)

12:20 "...and let them pardon and overlook..."

12:23 “And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives for the cause of Allah. Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” (24:22)

12:27 "...and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."

12:32 On the authority of Anas, may Allah be pleased with him,

12:34 that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

12:39 "Whoever would love to have his provision expanded

12:42 and his lifespan prolonged,

12:45 let him maintain the ties of kinship."

12:47 It is agreed upon.

12:50 And the meaning of "his lifespan be extended"

12:53 is that his appointed time and life are prolonged for him.

12:57 Among the benefits derived from the hadith:

13:00 maintaining family ties is a means of expanding and multiplying one's provision,

13:04 and bringing blessing into one's life.

13:07 What is meant by the expansion of provision in the hadith

13:10 is either an increase in the decreed quantity of one's provision,

13:14 or an increase of blessing within it.

13:17 Likewise, what is meant by the lengthening of one's life

13:20 is either a literal, actual extension,

13:23 or the attainment of blessing throughout that lifespan.

13:28 On the authority of Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, who said:

13:32 Abu Talhah was the wealthiest among the Ansar in Medina in date palms,

13:37 and the dearest of his wealth to him was Bayruha',

13:41 which stood directly facing the Mosque.

13:44 The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, used to enter it

13:49 and drink from its wholesome, sweet water.

13:52 So when this verse was revealed:

13:55 "Never will you attain righteousness until you spend from that which you love,"

14:01 Abu Talhah stood up and went to the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him,

14:06 and said:

14:07 "O Messenger of Allah,

14:09 indeed Allah, Blessed and Exalted, says:

14:13 'Never will you attain righteousness until you spend from that which you love,'

14:18 and indeed the dearest of my property to me is Bayruha',

14:22 and it is now a charity for the sake of Allah Exalted.

14:26 I hope for its righteousness and its reward stored with Allah Exalted,

14:30 so dispose of it, O Messenger of Allah, as Allah directs you."

14:35 Thereupon the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said:

14:39 "Bakhin! Well done! That is indeed a profitable wealth!

14:43 I have heard what you said,

14:45 and I think you should distribute it among your close relatives."

14:49 Abu Talhah replied:

14:51 "I shall do so, O Messenger of Allah."

14:54 So Abu Talhah divided it among his relatives and cousins.

14:59 It is agreed upon.

15:01 And on the authority of 'Abdullah Ibn 'Amr Ibn al-'As, may Allah be pleased with them both, who said:

15:06 A man came to the Prophet of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,

15:11 and said, "I pledge allegiance to you to emigrate and fight in jihad,

15:16 seeking reward from Allah Exalted."

15:19 He asked, "Are either of your parents alive?"

15:24 He replied, "Yes, in fact, both of them."

15:28 He asked, "Do you truly seek reward from Allah Exalted?"

15:33 He said, "Yes."

15:35 He said, "Then return to your parents and treat them with excellent companionship."

15:39 It is agreed upon,

15:41 and this wording is Muslim's.

15:43 In a narration by both of them:

15:45 A man came seeking his permission to participate in jihad,

15:49 so he asked, "Are your parents alive?"

15:53 He replied, "Yes."

15:55 He said, "Then strive in their service."

15:59 Among the benefits derived from the hadith:

16:01 a Muslim seeks in all that he undertakes and leaves aside

16:07 reward solely from Allah.

16:09 Filial piety towards parents is among the most imperative of obligations.

16:13 If a Muslim is able to safeguard his religious practice and piety alongside honoring his parents,

16:20 then this is excellent;

16:22 but whoever cannot do so except by fleeing with his religion,

16:26 he must give precedence to his religion,

16:28 just as the foremost pioneers of the Emigrants did.

16:32 Filial piety takes precedence over communal obligations and voluntary deeds.

16:38 His saying, "Then strive in their service,"

16:42 means applying that same degree of exertion required in jihad,

16:47 which entails physical weariness and spending money upon them.

16:51 Whatever proves arduous for the soul is termed a form of striving.

16:55 The counselor is held in trust,

16:57 so he must offer sincere, unadulterated advice.

17:02 It is permissible for the morally accountable person to inquire about the best acts of obedience

17:09 in order to put them into practice.

17:11 Riyad al-Salihin.

Riyadh Al-Salehin | Episode (49) | Chapter on honoring one’s parents and maintaining family ties (1)

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